Writes Kris from Texas: “As much as I despise the writing-a-note-from-the-POV-of-an-inanimate-object technique so familiar from my years in college, I have to feel this bike owner’s pain. I also really love the blood-gushing-from-the bike drawing.”
![Dear, the person who sawed me in half last night, that was an extremely rude, selfish & wasteful thing to do. Not to mention nonsensical! I had big plans today, but they are impossible to persue [sic] while I am cut in two! In the future, please treat the world the way you would like to be treated! In pain, Bicycle](http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5218/5416657875_922581eded_o.jpg "Dear, the person who sawed me in half last night, that was an extremely rude, selfish & wasteful thing to do. Not to mention nonsensical! I had big plans today, but they are impossible to persue [sic] while I am cut in two! In the future, please treat the world the way you would like to be treated! In pain, Bicycle")
related: With a chainsaw?
40 responses so far ↓
#1
lagne
Sweet, comic bicycle.
Apr 26, 2011 at 8:37 pm rating: 2
#2
Tim
DEAR,
The bicycle I sawed in half last night,
I cut you in half for the precise reason: to teach your owner that the world is a cruel and random place, and that bad things happen to you no matter how nicely you write notes.
Vindicated,
The person who sawed you in half last night
Apr 26, 2011 at 8:49 pm rating: 13
#3
John Macklem
Wouldn’t it be smarter to cut the pole instead of the bike frame ? DUH !
Apr 26, 2011 at 8:52 pm rating: 1
#4
El Jefe
I’m assuming this happened in Austin. Austin is full of whiney douchebags…I hope they all suffer.
Apr 26, 2011 at 8:55 pm rating: 6
#5
Bockanalia
Sad day. Sad, sad, wasteful day. He should have drawn a blood-gushing stick figure showing retaliatory measures…
Apr 26, 2011 at 9:00 pm rating: 1
#6
TickleMyBambo
Now if the bike was locked up on a bike rack then it would make sense that the culprit would try to cut the chain off. The nonsensical part: The guy not only got a little too carried away with the sawing and ended up cutting the bike in half, but he somehow managed to make an inanimate object gush blood. How hell does that happen?
Apr 26, 2011 at 9:20 pm rating: 4
#7
Izzy4Realz
So you can get blood from a bicycle, but can you get blood from a stone?
Apr 26, 2011 at 9:32 pm rating: 5
#8
JetJackson
The hipster should use their skinny jeans as a compression bandage to stem the blood flow until they can get the fixie back to the shop.
FIRST AID SAVES FIXIES! Don’t forget it!
Apr 26, 2011 at 9:42 pm rating: 2
#9
Mrs.Beasley
This graphic is really graphic.
I think I’d rather have somebody just outright steal my bike than to sever its spine and then just leave it there to… er… bleed.
Apr 26, 2011 at 9:48 pm rating: 13
#10
shwo!
When magicians go bad.
Apr 26, 2011 at 9:50 pm rating: 18
#11
bowloftoast
Maybe the bike just committed suicide…all those asses.
Apr 26, 2011 at 10:05 pm rating: 32
#12
Bcteagirl
Cut off one too many drivers while behaving like both a vehicle and a pedestrian perhaps. Just saying.
Apr 26, 2011 at 10:13 pm rating: 21
#13
The Elf
You killed the bicycle! You bastard!
Apr 27, 2011 at 7:48 am rating: 8
#14
JM
I debated doing this to a guy who’s owed me $60 for a chainring for 2 years…
And as for Austin… if the article didn’t start “…writes from Texas…” I’d put my money in for Richmond, the butt-hurt capital of the East Coast.
Apr 27, 2011 at 8:14 am rating: 2
#15
berge
As most passive-aggressive notes go, writing a note from the perspective of the bike, along with the plight of ruined plans surely has absolutely no impact on someone who saws bikes in half for no reason.
Apr 27, 2011 at 1:17 pm rating: 1
#16
Car Title Loans
If I were a bike, I would feel the exact same pain. I’ve heard of stealing tires and chains, but never sawing a bike in half. Maybe it was for a magic trick?
Apr 27, 2011 at 1:20 pm rating: 1
#17
ligercorn
I want to ride my bisect-cle, I want to ride my bike.
Apr 27, 2011 at 2:26 pm rating: 20
#18
Muay Thai Los Angeles
Gosh, I would hate to see what a person would do to a Razor scooter. I don’t think it’s a fair fight when inanimate objects can only talk, not fight back!
Apr 27, 2011 at 6:16 pm rating: 0
#19
Kara
I understand stealing bikes and walking around with saws, but I lose this guy when he starts sawing other people’s bikes in half. What kind of wank does that?!
Apr 27, 2011 at 10:44 pm rating: 1
#20
2@
that saddle tasted fucking delicious!
Apr 28, 2011 at 6:41 am rating: 0
#21
Canthz_B
This is surely the work of The Unicyclist.
That SOB did a real number on my kid’s tricycle some years ago.
Apr 29, 2011 at 12:35 am rating: 4
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