“My roommate is a total slob,” says Elinor in Toronto, so after two weeks away from the apartment, she wasn’t too surprised to see the kitchen piled high with several delightfully fragrant, filled-to-the-brim garbage bags. When she went to throw them out, Elinor discovered one of the bags was actually filled with clothes, so she put that one in her roommate’s room.
The next morning, Elinor found both of these notes slid under her bedroom door.
![[note 1:] Dear Elinor, You threw out an important bag of clothes that was in the kitchen. If you don't know what it is, don't touch it. -for FUCK SAKES! [note 2:] Never mind -found it ...sorry](http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5307/5662327022_db7a3b94ae.jpg "[note 1:] Dear Elinor, You threw out an important bag of clothes that was in the kitchen. If you don't know what it is, don't touch it. -for FUCK SAKES! [note 2:] Never mind -found it ...sorry")
related: Stop! Don’t chute!
91 responses so far ↓
#1
WOW
Never mind, I found it… IN MY ROOM! Idiot.
May 1, 2011 at 9:15 pm rating: 90
#2
Lindsey
Dear Elinor, I also noticed that you flushed the toilet. That was left as part of an art project. You could have at least left me a new one, or took a picture beforehand — for FUCK SAKES!
May 1, 2011 at 9:20 pm rating: 90
#3
lagne
The difference between me and Elinor: Every single bag in that kitchen would’ve ended up in Slob Roommate’s room, along with The Important Clothes.
May 1, 2011 at 9:21 pm rating: 90
#4
Dalamara
What does it say about the state of her room that it took her some time to find said garbage bag?
May 1, 2011 at 9:22 pm rating: 90
#5
Canthz_B
“It was in the damned kitchen in a garbage bag, so I assumed it was garbage.”
“Never mind, I chose not to jump to conclusions.”
May 1, 2011 at 9:23 pm rating: 90
#6
ellopoppet
Reminds me of Roseanne Rosennadanna: “Never mind.”
May 1, 2011 at 9:24 pm rating: 90
#7
TickleMyBambo
Dear Roommate,
FOR FUCKS SAKE! You’re so messy, YOU didn’t even know what’s in those bags! Sorry for treating your stuff the same way you treat it.. Like TRASH! If you don’t want me to touch it, then CLEAN IT UP!
May 1, 2011 at 9:25 pm rating: 90
#8
Canthz_B
It’s people who pack like this who make my stocks in Samsonite decline.
Hefty Bag luggage luggers cost the economy millions in sales, but they put back millions in the pockets of baggage handlers, so it balances out in the end.
May 1, 2011 at 9:29 pm rating: 90
#9
Sarah
Those floor tiles are so fucking depressing.
May 1, 2011 at 9:34 pm rating: 90
#10
Danielle
I keep all my clothes in garbage bags in the kitchen. Doesn’t everybody?
May 1, 2011 at 9:35 pm rating: 90
#11
Canthz_B
I like the philosophical ending, but I cannot figure out just what Fuck sakes.
May 1, 2011 at 9:37 pm rating: 90
#12
Canthz_B
BREAKING NEWS…OSAMA BIN LADEN IS DEAD!!!
NOT A PAN JOKE…OSAMA BIN LADEN IS DEAD!!!
US HAS THE BODY.
May 1, 2011 at 9:51 pm rating: 90
#13
ehren
I do appreciate the Parks & Rec reference.
May 1, 2011 at 9:55 pm rating: 90
#14
Seanette
As I said on Facebook, I’d advise Elinor to find a new roommate ASAP. The current one has hoarder tendencies, and living with someone like that is not good for one’s emotional health. I speak from experience.
May 1, 2011 at 10:32 pm rating: 90
#15
Zorin
WHY do people keep clothes in garbage bags? I was at an acquaintance’s apartment and noticed a trash bag full of dirty clothes in the corner. I don’t know him well enough to feel right asking about it, but is there a reason to use trash bags for this?
They do MAKE bags just for laundry, bags made of fabric which actually breathe and keep smells from getting worse.
May 1, 2011 at 10:48 pm rating: 90
#16
dabearkat
Envisioning Elinor’s roomie pulling a Peter Gibbons from Office Space, desperately trying to get the note back from under the door. What, no put-upon guy relegated to the basement unit was on hand to destroy the evidence?
May 2, 2011 at 12:26 am rating: 90
#17
aaa
Wow roommate, those ellipses totally make you sound sorry. For serious.
Elinor’s roommate sounds like kind of a dildo, as well as disgusting. I wonder if there have been any shenanigans like this before, or if this is just the first time the fuckery resulted in a PAN.
May 2, 2011 at 6:23 am rating: 90
#18
Canthz_B
It was entirely appropriate to pack those clothes in a garbage bag.
After all, the woman is a trashy dresser.
May 2, 2011 at 9:42 am rating: 90
#19
se
I’m wondering what made that particular bag of clothes important. maybe the festering odor of a long gone boyfriend?
May 2, 2011 at 11:04 am rating: 90
#20
Kristin
Eh. When I moved I threw some clothes in trash bags. I threw them in, brought them to the new place and unpacked them post-haste. I just don’t have enough bags/duffels/suitcases to accomodate all the stuff that is in my dresser and closet.
May 2, 2011 at 11:25 am rating: 90
#21
pqyzzz
Man… angry much?
May 2, 2011 at 11:32 am rating: 90
#22
Jimmy James
(With apologies to John and Paul)
Elinor Rigby picks up the clothes from the floor
where her roommate has been
Lives in a dream
Waits at the window, reading a note
that was slipped by her roommate under the door
Who is it for?
All the stinky laundry
Where does it all come from?
All the stinky laundry
Where does it all belong?
May 2, 2011 at 11:37 am rating: 90
#23
Meta
i once lived with (possibly the same) messy roommate, who on several occasions reminded me not to throw out the beer bottle caps in the bathroom. i won’t even get into the dead bug carcasses glued to sheets of paper…let’s just say i couldn’t throw those out either.
May 2, 2011 at 1:53 pm rating: 90
#24
Karate Los Angeles
They probably couldn’t find it, because I’m sure that it was hidden underneath another amounting pile of mess.
May 2, 2011 at 3:45 pm rating: 90
#25
El Jefe
Wow, no riffs like ‘Elinor, gee I really think you’re swell-inor’? My hopes for PAN humor have faded…
May 2, 2011 at 9:41 pm rating: 90
#26
Laura
Ouch! How do you recover from that one?
May 2, 2011 at 11:22 pm rating: 90
#27
Party in my pants
A friend of mine wanted to make her closet look more spacious when attempting to sell her house. She took about half of the clothes in her closet and placed them in a garbage bag to store while the relator showed the house. Her husband took the bag to Goodwill! She went to Goodwill a few days later and bought back some of her favorite things! Luckily she had a great sense of humor!
May 3, 2011 at 6:59 am rating: 90
#28
laura
in last week’s episode of parks and recreation, april and andy put their bills in the freezer. i thought that’s what this was about when i read the title
May 3, 2011 at 8:02 am rating: 90
#29
RP
You know, usually I take “My roommate is a slob” complaints with a large grain of salt; there’s just as many stories about roommates who are control freaks and call you a slob for leaving a book on the ‘wrong’ bookshelf.
However, in this case all my sympathy is with the OP. Not only is it completely reasonable to assume that trash bags in the kitchen contain garbage the roommate had the gall to say that the OP shouldn’t touch anything if she “doesn’t know what it is”.
WTF? Who bothers searching through garbage bags before throwing them out so that they know what’s in it? No one! It’s GARBAGE!
Look OP’s roommate: She didn’t throw out your mail just because you forgot to check the mailbox yesterday. She apparently didn’t even complain that you didn’t manage to throw out any garbage in a two week span. You can’t be the messier roommate and tell a neat and reasonable roommate that they need to check with you before throwing anything away.
May 4, 2011 at 4:37 pm rating: 90
#30
Suite Aces
Gems like these (people/roommates) remind me again and again why I am glad that I have my own place. Roommates suck for the most part.
May 15, 2011 at 12:42 am rating: 90
#31
Anon
your all retarded. stop commenting and enjoy the note.
May 16, 2011 at 11:58 pm rating: 90
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