Our submitter in North Dakota, an instructor at one of the state’s institutions of higher learning, found this note left behind by a student in one of her English Composition classes. “We had begun meeting in a computer lab two classes prior,” she writes, “something which had been announced at the beginning of the classes leading up to the room switch as well as on the syllabus.”
But you know, “nobody likes to have to dig your syllabus out.” That’s like, a total drag, dude!
![[Prof. redacted], I showed up to class today and no one was there. Where was class?!?! You need to make announcement when you are changing the location of the class!!! No one likes to have to dig your syllabus out every day or check their e-mail for your last minute changes. I DID show up today and you have to count my paper as ON TIME. Please email me with an explanation.](http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5104/5684792429_e384c6b123_o.jpg "[Prof. redacted], I showed up to class today and no one was there. Where was class?!?! You need to make announcement when you are changing the location of the class!!! No one likes to have to dig your syllabus out every day or check their e-mail for your last minute changes. I DID show up today and you have to count my paper as ON TIME. Please email me with an explanation.")
Seriously, kids today(!!!)
related: The “feeling of failing” debacle
extra credit: “In the Basement of the Ivory Tower,” by Professor X [theatlantic.com]
199 responses so far ↓
#1
UnclGhost
Dear Student,
My explanation is that you should read your syllabus.
Sincerely,
Prof. [Redacted]
May 4, 2011 at 10:55 pm rating: 160
#2
Jaylemeux
Mmm, I don’t have any sympathy for him if the switch was announced in two class sessions, but otherwise it really is unreasonable to expect anyone to keep checking the syllabus when nothing about the class has changed.
May 4, 2011 at 11:03 pm rating: 11
#3
katie_2256
Underlining ‘did’ three times?
really?
really?!
REALLY?!!?!?
May 4, 2011 at 11:06 pm rating: 26
#4
Quite Contrary
“Please email me an explanation” is going to be my response to anything that is my fault.
May 4, 2011 at 11:08 pm rating: 187
#5
magilmer
A major part of being a student is being able to follow instruction. Whether during class or as indicated in the syllabus, you should know what to expect. Or not. Then you can wonder WHERE IS EVERYONE? WHAT ARE THEY DOING WITHOUT ME? WHAT KIND OF JOKE IS THIS?
May 4, 2011 at 11:08 pm rating: 40
#6
A Fox
Somebody else would have to grade this entitled brat’s paper. No way would I be able to grade it fairly.
May 4, 2011 at 11:09 pm rating: 50
#7
intheshadowz
Dear Student,
So you dug your syllabus out thus know where class was and chose not to show up anyway? Yeah, your paper is so not on time.
Nice try.
Your Professor
May 4, 2011 at 11:09 pm rating: 85
#8
Sesquipedalian
A further 5% has been deducted for grammatical and punctuation errors in the note appended to this English Composition paper.
May 4, 2011 at 11:09 pm rating: 87
#9
Indie
I love how s/he can make a demand such as “you HAVE to” … how about we leave that up to the person who’s already managed to pass college, eh?
May 4, 2011 at 11:13 pm rating: 72
#10
katie
I’m a forgetter, I would have had to put it on my calendar. Wait, I can’t remember, do they have calendars in college young lady?
May 4, 2011 at 11:15 pm rating: 14
#11
Laura
When a professor takes the time to lay everything out so that even a child could follow it, I can muster no sympathy for the babies that don’t even make an effort. I stapled mine into the front of each notebook, checked it often, noted important dates with a highlighter. Easy. Part of going to college is to learn how to go to work. You have to learn responsibility somewhere.
May 4, 2011 at 11:27 pm rating: 110
#12
TickleMyBambo
Dear Student,
All this could have been avoided had you simply pulled out your syllabus to update yourself on any current changes. If by any chance you were unable to show up for my class the syllabus has my contact information so yourself, and the rest of the class, has a way of getting a hold of me in the event that class location and schedule had been changed. There is no excuse for you to not utilize the information provided to you. Your inability to read the syllabus is neither my fault nor my responsibility, thus your demands are invalid. I’m sorry, but since you were not in class to hand in your paper I have no choice but to give you an F for failure to turn in your assignment. Next time, please read your syllabus and show up for class.
Sincerely,
Professor (—)
May 4, 2011 at 11:28 pm rating: 69
#13
snee
dear asshole,
PAY FUCKING ATTENTION.
May 4, 2011 at 11:30 pm rating: 39
#14
mchz
Dear Student,
No.
-Professor
May 4, 2011 at 11:49 pm rating: 67
#15
Danny
Dear student:
Everyone else in the class managed to show up at the correct location. Logic dictates that you are therefore the dumbest person in the class. The other students will thank you for setting the low end of the grading curve at “zero.” Don’t bother attending any of the remaining sessions.
Sincerely,
A. Prof.
May 5, 2011 at 12:01 am rating: 106
#16
Divvitar
Dear Student:
Your paper made excellent toilet paper, so I’m giving you a D-.
Professor Redacted, PhD.
May 5, 2011 at 12:08 am rating: 34
#17
SweetT
what’s that you say? you want an automatic ‘f’ for the semester? why, certainly! your wish is my command.
May 5, 2011 at 12:10 am rating: 14
#18
lagne
oh, for fuck’s sake.
May 5, 2011 at 12:15 am rating: 24
#19
krunchbang
Dear Student,
This is an email containing my official explanation for the change of venue…oh wait, I just remembered that you do not like to be bothered by having to check your email, so it really doesn’t matter does it?
Your Pal,
The Instructor
P.S.
I fucked your Dad.
May 5, 2011 at 12:33 am rating: 45
#20
Mary N
Oh my-
I foresee another nightmare tonight about not knowing where class is and realizing that a final exam is tomorrow. Thanks!
And yes, I still have this nightmare 20 years after graduation.
May 5, 2011 at 12:48 am rating: 37
#21
Pam
OMG, how old must I be if I said that if the phrase “pull out your syllabus” was ever said when I was in college, it would sound like an obscene request? I was lucky to have a one-page schedule, which was usually in tatters by the 4 th week of the semester. I would love to know how this professor actually dealt with this student-of-the-year candidate!
May 5, 2011 at 1:45 am rating: 2
#22
Canthz_B
Why again should an emailed response be sent to someone who says they can’t be bothered to check their email?
I’m missing something. How about just paying attention to what’s going on like the other students did?
May 5, 2011 at 2:09 am rating: 29
#23
Canthz_B
I’m failing your class because I have a short attention span, so I’ll take this opportunity on the occasion of your relocation of class on the day my paper was due to claim that my paper was done on time.
That should buy me a couple of days to finish this crappy paper, right?
May 5, 2011 at 2:13 am rating: 20
#24
Canthz_B
Dear Student,
Please do not drink and strive.
May 5, 2011 at 2:23 am rating: 15
#25
Ginger
I teach high school and expect my students to check calendars, etc online on a regular basis so that they can show up for things outside of class, and lo and behold, they do it! Most of them are also capable of noting dates for an entire year on a calendar when their handbook is given to them in August. I wouldn’t bother to send an email with an “explanation”. Student gets an F on the paper for it being late, unless an email with the paper was sent (with a time stamp) before class time. Your butt is covered if the student has the nerve or brain power to take this to anyone higher than you, and if the parents call, well then that’s just sad because this is college. Honestly.
May 5, 2011 at 2:26 am rating: 18
#26
Christine
“dig You syllabus out”? Really? Really? A so-called “English Student” in a higher learning facility who is still having trouble with the difference between ‘you’ and ‘your’ – methinks it might be pointless grading his paper anyway!
May 5, 2011 at 2:52 am rating: 8
#27
Kathy
At least he didn’t have his mommy write the note. I work at a university and hear horror stories from professors about what helicopter parents do for their giant baby children. You would weep for the future if you knew.
May 5, 2011 at 3:50 am rating: 54
#28
Mrs.Beasley
Is this what they mean by “The best defense is a great offense”? It ain’t working for this guy.
I missed the very last of my final exams in college because I messed up just like this note writer. I clearly didn’t listen when the time of the exam was announced, and I didn’t check the posting on the classroom door, either. It was a major blunder, but I had a lot going on – I was getting married in two weeks.
So when I showed up for the final at the usual class time of 10 a.m. and found the room dark and vacant, my gut twisted. I knew I’d messed up big time. A quick check of the schedule taped to the door confirmed that the final had been scheduled for 8 a.m.
I called my prof in shambles and threw myself at her mercy. The dear old soul was incredibly sympathetic. She gave me directions to her home (mind you) and a time to show up, and I arrived as directed and wrote my final exam sitting at her kitchen table!
She went above and beyond to help me amend my screw-up, but I doubt she’d have shown that kind of empathy had I left her a note like this ^ one.
What a punk.
May 5, 2011 at 4:21 am rating: 132
#29
Nunya
It says they started meeting in the computer lab 2 classes prior.
That’s a double fail.
Idiot.
May 5, 2011 at 5:31 am rating: 51
#30
Jabba
I work at a college and this is the exact kind of attitude we see all the time. They all act like entitled divas.
May 5, 2011 at 6:53 am rating: 14
#31
ArtH_D
This is one of my students! It must be one of my students! I have at least 5 every semester with the exact same attitude, and read this note via email various times each semester. Kids today…
May 5, 2011 at 8:04 am rating: 18
#32
Really?
I’d email her with a link to this PAN, so the entitled little twat can learn what the general public thinks of her ridiculousness. And would certainly not accept her paper as on time, although when I went to college that simply meant losing one letter grade, which in this case I would find generous. This is just rudeness, and should not be rewarded.
May 5, 2011 at 8:19 am rating: 16
#33
oi
WOW. Just wow!
I think if I had written this note during ANY year up to my graduate degree that would be like a notarized by supreme court judge guarantee to be degraded to two years down. And I am not even in my thirties.
May 5, 2011 at 8:22 am rating: 5
#34
oi
Dear student,
I am sorry to let you know that you have failed my class for the lack of attention, lack of respect and lack of desire to learn. I advise you to complete these three basic, kinder-garden level prerequisites first if you want to pass ANY class.
Sincerely yours,
Professor
May 5, 2011 at 8:36 am rating: 15
#35
Junebug
You’d think that when you were the *only* student to show up at the wrong place you might place a tiny bit of the blame on yourself and admit that maybe you missed something.
My favorite story about working with college students happened when I was still in college. I was a teaching assistant in a biology class and was in charge of leading a separate discussion group and grading their home work. One guy in the class turned in his home work and it was obvious that he had copied it from his friend in the class. He had copied every blank word for word…including the name. The idiot had copied his friend’s name (a female friend no less) on his paper. I knew it was his because I recognized his handwriting. I handed it back and told that if he wanted credit next time he should at least try and get his own name right.
May 5, 2011 at 8:58 am rating: 55
#36
dixiechick
My last year teaching Elementary College Composition, I had a “student.” He was a pothead. The BAD kind of pothead. He missed three weeks of class (and two short papers) in a row, then finally showed up. I sat him down, explained that he was failing right here, right now. UNLESS… We drew up an agreement, which we both signed, that if he missed ONE MORE DAY of class without having a signed note from God, he was outta there.
He showed up the next two classes. Then, ::poof:: When I emailed him to say, “Scott, you’ll want to drop my class, because you have an F per our agreement,” he emailed me back to say (and I swear I’m not making it up, it is branded on my mind), “If you’re pissed off because I missed class on Wednesday, bitch, that’s your problem. My girlfriend was sick and she’s more important to me than your stupid class.”
That’s MY problem?! Kiddo, we seem to have a fundamental misunderstanding of how all this college stuff works….
Blew my mind. Still does, 20 years later.
May 5, 2011 at 9:02 am rating: 74
#37
unsatisfied
Dear Student:
I will provide an explanation as to why I moved the location of today’s class on my next syllabus.
Fuck off,
Prof. [Redacted]
May 5, 2011 at 9:38 am rating: 15
#38
Inquizitive
So, after saying that it’s too much trouble to check email, she wants an email explaining the change in location? I’m confused. Could someone email me an explanation?
May 5, 2011 at 10:06 am rating: 16
#39
Deb Who
Look around the room dearie…if you are the only one in the wrong room you can’t blame anyone but YOU. GROW UP.
May 5, 2011 at 10:12 am rating: 9
#40
Laura
Take the late penalty Buddy.
May 5, 2011 at 10:42 am rating: 2
#41
Becca
He should fail because of that email. That email is rife with punctuation errs and he just sounds like a raving douche. To even further kick a dead horse, how long does it take to read the syllabus? Not long. So that also makes him lazy. Another fact, if a teacher doesn’t show up for fifteen minutes to a class, you can leave and safely assume something happened.
May 5, 2011 at 10:51 am rating: 3
#42
Helen
Dear Student,
Thank you for pointing out your inability to attend my lecture, as we have met in the new location two class sessions prior to the day your paper was due and I have announced the change of location in multiple classes prior to the change. As you discovered the rest of the class’ absence was due to a location change and not an illness on my part, logic states you were too lazy to walk to the appropriate classroom. Adding that to too lazy to read the syllabus, too lazy to attend class, and too lazy to check your grammar in writing a note to an English professor, I’d say you’ve failed the course. Since you’re also too lazy to check your email though, I doubt you’ll discover this until final grades are posted.
Sincerely,
A. Professor
May 5, 2011 at 10:57 am rating: 31
#43
Joe Blow
I’m not sure I ever actually read a syllabus throughout my entire time at college. I wouldn’t have even thought to check it for something like a classroom change, either.
The main problem with this notewriter is that this apparently wasn’t the first day in the new location..
May 5, 2011 at 11:04 am rating: 9
#44
LUZKNDIA
I think communication is a two way street… I understand if the teacher wants students to read their syllabus but they can also dedicate 5 minutes of their time on the first class just in case anybody has any questions or concerns. It did happen something really unusual to me once, we were asked to put our signature on the syllabus and got a copy of it, it was a 3 page sort of contract, then we got what we thought it was a copy of the syllabus as an attachment on an e mail. I am sure I was not the only one who look through it briefly and not nit-picking, for our surprise there was a very important change in there that said we could not fail any assignments. But of course we only found out about it when somebody failed one…
It is ok if you change the rules but you can not be too clear about it, right? each part can be lazy, the one making the rules and the one who should be following the rules
May 5, 2011 at 11:23 am rating: 1
#45
Eric
Wow, there you go modern society. Take the fear of failure out of children, and they become sociopathic self-entitled little pricks who think they are on the same level as their superiors.
May 5, 2011 at 12:07 pm rating: 27
#46
Car Title Loans
Something tells me this person didn’t go to class all semester. What do you think the professor’s response e-mail said?
Ava
May 5, 2011 at 12:31 pm rating: 2
#47
poorscholar
That student sounds like his mother.
May 5, 2011 at 1:02 pm rating: 2
#48
That Teacher
Oh yes . I have come across this many a time in my years of teaching. Especially at a community college, where many students just see it as something to be “gotten through” and not actually a chance to learn. My mentor always told me, “Make sure your students know that their self created emergency isn’t your problem.” I give them a syllabus. I post the syllabus on line. I send out email reminders of important things like tests. I write on the whiteboard important dates. I still have people who miss and then expect me to care. I don’t. And I sleep just fine.
May 5, 2011 at 2:39 pm rating: 32
#49
Daniel
The student should have known better … times like this is when you go back home, send an email claiming your grandmother died, and go back to sleep.
May 5, 2011 at 3:06 pm rating: 11
#50
lagne
I’m one of those professional-student types.. spent lots of time in school and currently in school again. It makes me absolutely crazy when students treat teachers like their employees. OH my god, it brings out the cusser in me like none other. “I did this, so you HAVE to do this.” Bull. Fucking. SHIT. This is why I’m not a teacher; I don’t know how teachers in this position don’t just go all “The fuck? – GET THE FUCK OFF MY PLANET IMMEDIATELY” on snotty little entitled brat students like this one.
*kicking soapbox to the side and lighting it on fire, yelling “FUCK!!” one more time because, hey, what’s one more time?*
May 6, 2011 at 1:55 am rating: 32
#51
aristophanes68
Not checking the syllabus is less problematic to me than the fact that the room change was announced in class repeatedly (and all the other students seem to have picked up on it). I don’t expect students to check their syllabi for things like classroom changes, so I make sure to announce them for at least a week afterward.
I have the opposite problem with syllabi–my students print them out and carry them around, but never double-check to make sure they’re still up-to-date. So when there’s a mistake or a change, they’re using out-of-date information.
May 6, 2011 at 10:52 am rating: 3
#52
factorblank
I once missed the first day of class. (I think I had to work that day, but had my schedule changed for the following weeks.) I had no idea the class was going to move to a different room starting the next week, so when I showed up and was the only one there I thought I was early.
In walks a the cutest red-haired girl I’ve ever seen. We start to talk and ended up dating. We’ve been married for ten years now! (After about 15 minutes we figured out the class was next door.)
As a side-note, this was a non-credit course as part of an internship but I actually did learn quite a bit when we finally figured out where the class was.
May 6, 2011 at 11:25 am rating: 21
#53
oi
Yeah this person sounds like he never attended any class nor ever talked to his classmates. I am the lost planet of the announcement universe and it never happened to me because in each and every class there are always humanatarian guys who would make sure absent minded people like me would know. Once I had mentioned to somebody that I want to take this particular class. I had all prerequisites but I had missed the sign up deadline. Turned out he already had signed me up because he knew 1. I would miss the deadline 2. I would have all the qualifications anyway. All I had to do was pay for it. I missed the first class because I did not know at that time, he came by after the class and told me! And this is not the only example, once I had a friend who called me when I was out of town to fill up my exam appearing forms or something.
What I am trying to say here is that there is always one time/ announcement messiah in any class who would keep you up to date if you simply talk to them in class.
May 6, 2011 at 11:59 am rating: 4
#54
Trevor
pretty sure i had this teacher at NDSU I never had trouble knowing where class was. Getting there on the other hand……
May 6, 2011 at 12:13 pm rating: 1
#55
TheAutisticStepmom
This made me angry enough to register an account! I’m a senior at a major university, and I see this shit ALL.OF.THE.DAMN.TIME. These little entitled assholes whose parents are paying for their education, so they don’t give a shit. These same kids are the ones who brag about not showing up or paying attention, because, Hell, it’s not their own money they’re wasting.
Don’t even get me started on the dick kitchens that waltz in late 20 or 30 minutes into class every day and make tons of noise getting prepared to surf the Internet the whole time they are there, or the ones that text the whole class *click, click, click* as I’m trying to, you know, LISTEN TO THE LECTURE! *grrrr* The worst is the completely disrespectful, end of class “backpack shuffle”. Five minutes until the end of class, when the professor is STILL TALKING, and suddenly 90% of the class needs to shuffle their papers and zip their backpacks up all at the same time.
May 6, 2011 at 3:22 pm rating: 31
#56
somebody who used to care
Well, I stopped reading if your comment didn’t rate at least 40 thumbs up. And I’ve had a large bottle of wine, fifteen years of teaching, and a stupid Phd in somethingor other.
I got a lot of emails like this. Now, since I buy houses and rent them out to people who have better credit ratings than this blowhole, I am writing a novel, shopping, getting pedicures, and not grading 60 comp papers every other weekend and feeling guilty if I didn’t teach them something with my comments I am much, much happier.
And I even have a novel half written, and robin’s egg blue toenails.
So. Stu who is in self entitled a-hat email? Gets an F. Because I’m cool like dat.
Me? I get a nother glass of wine.
And if my comment doesn’t get 60 or so thumbs up?
I don’t even care.
May 6, 2011 at 8:09 pm rating: 3
#57
Nunavut Guy
Can I use penisilli to cure my broken syllabus?
May 7, 2011 at 7:54 am rating: 1
#58
Ali
I can sort of understand someone being upset that they missed their class, especially when they did actually do the work. But, what a fucking attitude. The “email me with an explanation” part is just.. what the fuck. So, you KNOW that there’s a good possibility that the “explanation” is in the syllabus, you just mentioned that you have one, and you’re STILL gonna demand your professor to do something? I’d be expecting an F for the semester if I was her/him.
May 7, 2011 at 5:10 pm rating: 5
#59
lauren
LOL at “Please email me with an explanation”. What a little douche. I teach undergraduate science labs and would immediately dock that kid points for being a self-righteous little smartass.
May 8, 2011 at 11:51 am rating: 5
#60
TickleMyBambo
I personally would email this response to him:
http://www.memedepot.com/view.php?page=386
May 8, 2011 at 10:28 pm rating: 2
#61
Ranon
Unfuckingacceptable! This is why you teachyour children well and not leave them to be spoilt brats. I bet you he’s fat and American too.
May 9, 2011 at 12:29 pm rating: 0
#62
Canthz_B
Why didn’t he just send the paper on-line?
My wife’s history professor has her students do their tests on-line, some multiple choice and a few essay questions.
I’mMy wife is getting an “A” in US History, WWII to Present!!“She” wrote a kick-ass research paper too.
Modern education rocks!!
May 10, 2011 at 12:43 am rating: 2
#63
park rose
As the great Elvis Costello once said, Absences will happen. We all hit and run. . . . I’d include the rest, but the official lyrics don’t make as much sense as my mondegreeen.
May 10, 2011 at 1:50 am rating: 1
#64
Another Redacted Professor
On behalf of freshman comp. instructors everywhere, I suggest you all give us medals/hire us shrinks/buy us a beer whenever you come across any of us. Now you truly know the pain that comp. instructors face on a daily basis. At least this kid, I presume, managed to spell their name right.
May 13, 2011 at 2:17 am rating: 6
#65
alicia
the part i love is the demand for an e-mailed explanation… like the student calls the shots or something! lmao
May 13, 2011 at 5:30 pm rating: 1
#66
overworked_taa
What kills me is that one of my students from this semester could have written this. For example, I had one who stood outside my office and swore and stomped his feet because my door was closed. I didn’t know what was going on outside because my door was shut. I didn’t have office hours for another 2 hours. Finally, I opened the door after he called me a “bitch” and then boom, instant humiliation. Poor kid was so confused.
I think he would do this.
What’s funny is that ONCE AGAIN – it’s on the syllabus! And where is the syllabus? Online. They check their grades daily and yet don’t bother to check the syllabus!
May 13, 2011 at 8:50 pm rating: 2
#67
lagne
Dismissive of daycare as beneath you, and by extension, dismissive of degrees required to work in daycare. Can’t really explain that away. You might’ve done better to say, “If I wanted to babysit forever, I would’ve stayed a fifteen-year-old girl.”
May 16, 2011 at 2:59 am rating: 3
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