I don’t ever condone passive-aggressive note-writing, but you should be warned: hard-core Diet Coke drinkers do not fool around. (Trust me — I’m a recovering addict myself.)
![The Beverage [sic] you are about to consume doesn't belong to you :( Are we playing finders keepers I think NOT? Don't I look delicious? Too bad...get your own :) OMG! Did...you...buy me?! ... NO. Hi! I'm not yours :) PUT ME DOWN!](http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5301/5695093122_dc551c62bc_b.jpg "The Beverage [sic] you are about to consume doesn't belong to you :( Are we playing finders keepers I think NOT? Don't I look delicious? Too bad...get your own :) OMG! Did...you...buy me?! ... NO. Hi! I'm not yours :) PUT ME DOWN!")
related: Enough with the diet sodas!
Warning: Take my last Diet Coke from the fridge and I WILL cut you.
May 10th, 2011 · 108 comments
FILED UNDER: blitzkrieg approach · Diet Coke · fridge · most popular notes of 2011 · not-so-veiled threats · sad face · smiley · stealing
108 responses so far ↓
#1
Dani
I can relate! Love it!
May 10, 2011 at 3:35 pm rating: 9
#2
SEFHWRFEUH
As a fully addicted person, I can state:
Diet Coke is liquid crack.
Yeah, I’d resrt to violence for stealing mine too.
May 10, 2011 at 3:45 pm rating: 20
#3
Persephone
I think these people are taking reasonable (and very funny) measures. Particularly the individual messages for each can. Genius.
I don’t think I’d quite go for waterboarding and dismemberment though, unless the Diet Coke supply were replaced with Diet Pepsi….
May 10, 2011 at 3:56 pm rating: 38
#4
Harmy G
First image portrays someone very insecure and bitchy.
May 10, 2011 at 4:29 pm rating: 5
#5
bean
One of the best things I ever did, give up colas. Still love me some rootbeer though.
May 10, 2011 at 4:43 pm rating: 12
#6
Flip-flappin'
Put down the Diet Coke!
Pick up the Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi! (Yes, I am high-maintenance, but give it a try, and you will be, too)
May 10, 2011 at 4:46 pm rating: 1
#7
RJ
What’s so great about Diet Coke? Isn’t it just basically Coke that tastes like sucralose or aspartame, and with no caffeine?
May 10, 2011 at 4:48 pm rating: 22
#8
TickleMyBambo
Bitch spare me the PAN and switchblade.. You can have your pathetic diet coke. I will stick to the delicious, caffinated, goodness that is PEPSI!
May 10, 2011 at 4:51 pm rating: 18
#9
Gypselle
The above comment portrays someone very insecure and bitchy.
May 10, 2011 at 4:52 pm rating: 13
#10
Bet
For those that know my love of Diet Coke – I did not write this. But if anyone tried to steal my DC I would do so in a heartbeat. This is SO me!
@Persephone – Apparently you don’t love Diet Coke. However, if Diet Pepsi was subbed, it would mean automatic death!
May 10, 2011 at 4:52 pm rating: 7
#11
meeper
They can have the Diet Coke. But if someone touches my Coke Zero they better have life insurance!
May 10, 2011 at 4:54 pm rating: 13
#12
DLo
Eww. Real coke (a cola) or forget it. Diet Dr Pepper though? Yeah, I’ll cut a bitch.
May 10, 2011 at 5:02 pm rating: 25
#13
pony girl
Sorry to be serious here, but would any of these people who steal food at the workplace walk into a grocery store and steal a lean cuisine or a diet coke?
Same thing.
Stop stealing!
Okay, y’all can continue with the funny.
ps- diet coke tastes like ass. Dublin dr pepper FTW!
May 10, 2011 at 5:10 pm rating: 29
#14
www.stuffistolefromtheinternet.com
Diet Coke sucks. Pepsi Max is the only diet soda that’s decent.
May 10, 2011 at 5:10 pm rating: 2
#15
Hmmmm...
Dear Staff,
You are lucky to have a job in this economy. Please go buy your own Diet Coke and save your PA notes and physical threats for someone who does not sign your paychecks.
Thanks!!
Management
May 10, 2011 at 5:20 pm rating: 16
#16
Meany
First pic, I’d definitely shake the living daylights out of each and every can and put them right back. Especially the top right can, it’s just mean.
May 10, 2011 at 5:25 pm rating: 21
#17
Me
I think Diet Coke is foul but I still understand the notes. I’d to the same to protect my Pepsi MAX, Diet Dr Pepper or Purple Stuff!
May 10, 2011 at 5:31 pm rating: 2
#18
FeRD
Hmmm. Something suspicious here. Why does the second image show a text cursor on the first line (after the first dash in “Diet-Coke-Thief”)? Is this perhaps a notewriter-submitted image? Sent in by someone who just couldn’t resist bragging about how clever they are, after having typed up what I’m sure felt like an oh-so-witty anti-theft message?
May 10, 2011 at 5:44 pm rating: 6
#19
Sandee
Well, to be fair, I actually DO have luggage tags that say “NOT YOURS” … Sure makes life easier coming through Customs off a cruise ship, where every single person has an over-sized black suitcase waiting.
(p.s. diet soft drink hater)
May 10, 2011 at 6:15 pm rating: 4
#20
Nunavut Guy
If you don’t want your soft drinks stolen,steel yourself and make “Diet Tab ” your drink of choice.
Nobody will touch that shit.
May 10, 2011 at 7:23 pm rating: 7
#21
Divvitar
Bullshit! Pepsi Max is the nectar of the gods!
May 10, 2011 at 7:24 pm rating: 0
#22
katie_2256
Holy crap, these 3 have got to be some of the funniest PA notes ever. Someone went to the effort of making 6 little individual notes for each of those cans. So win!
p.s Chocolate milk >>>> Diet Coke
May 10, 2011 at 8:45 pm rating: 2
#23
Quite Contrary
There is no snarky comment that can top the “Put Me Down!” note.
May 10, 2011 at 8:54 pm rating: 1
#24
Me
The first one is amazing, hahaha
May 10, 2011 at 10:25 pm rating: 1
#25
Divvitar
Personally, I think the management could use waterboarding anyway.
May 10, 2011 at 11:25 pm rating: 4
#26
Canthz_B
Statistics show that those people who shoot everyone they work with drink Diet Coke.
Drink “the real thing” or go with iced tea…after all “diet soda” is an oxymoron.
May 11, 2011 at 12:31 am rating: 6
#27
justme
The scary thing is, in any other country than the USA the waterboarding comment would have been a joke
May 11, 2011 at 6:48 am rating: 1
#28
bamboocurl
Dismember and Mange: subtle yet effective keywords to ensure loss of appetite.
-The Staff Manual for Notewriting
May 11, 2011 at 9:29 am rating: 1
#29
Pepper
Seriously?! I think it might be time for rehab.
May 11, 2011 at 9:39 am rating: 0
#30
aaa
Diet Coke, you suck
Addiction to horrid shit?
I just don’t get it
May 11, 2011 at 10:20 am rating: 7
#31
Canthz_B
Thanks to these notes, I’m now as afraid of Diet Coke as I am of crack cocaine.
Beer is good.
May 11, 2011 at 10:21 am rating: 4
#32
oi
Diet sugar free colas are ick. Also Pepsi is yuck. It seriously makes me sick. Dr. pepper, oh my god! how on this earth could anybody drink that plastICKY, artificial cherry flavor without gagging is beyond me. It is like they took real cherry flavor and mutilated it with insect blood or something. Calm down, at least I did not use word roach blood analogy. You are welcome!
May 11, 2011 at 10:28 am rating: 7
#33
Christine
I’m more of a Pepsi fan. Although to be honest when I’ve gone off it cold turkey for a week I no longer crave it..then I tell myself that I’ll have just one of those mini cans because I need the caffeine…and the cycle starts again.
To the person who can’t digest corn syrup: if you’re ever in Canada you should be able to safely drink most sodas. We use sugar, and not HFCS. Also, if you’re looking for caffeinated sodas in Canada, you won’t find it in light-coloured drinks. For some reason we have a stupid law that only dark-coloured drinks may contain caffeine. I have NO idea why but it sucks.
May 11, 2011 at 11:11 am rating: 3
#34
Title Loans
Diet Coke has gotten more and more expensive, and more and more addicting. I can see why people have gotten so angry about it! Right now I have a two-liter sitting next to me, and if anyone took it there would be hell to pay! What do you think it is about this stuff? It’s terrible, I know, but I can’t resist it. (Even giving it up for Lent didn’t work)
May 11, 2011 at 2:20 pm rating: 3
#35
Eileen
Mountain Dew Code Red is my crack. Can’t get enough of that stuff.
May 11, 2011 at 6:09 pm rating: 3
#36
Chesire Cat
Coke zero all the way! Diet Coke is a poor substitute.
May 11, 2011 at 8:53 pm rating: 1
#37
Teejay
If someone at work hordes the fridge with their nasty soda (I don’t drink any of any kind, it’s how u get fat), I pour them down the sink and leave the cans in the sink for them to be seen, andthen leave a passive aggressive note in the fridge that says “next time, don’t hog fridge space”
May 13, 2011 at 5:16 pm rating: 1
#38
John
I would never consider taking one of those….until I saw those notes. Then I would drink them (all at once) and put the empties back in the fridge with the notes still on them.
May 14, 2011 at 7:44 am rating: 2
#39
Iceheartt
ew Diet. Yuck.
with all those notes though, I’d be tempted to do something similar to what John said, only poking a hole in the bottom and draining them out and putting them back.
May 28, 2011 at 2:30 pm rating: 0
#40
maynard
You want to meet the world’s heaviest diet coke addicts? residential eating disorder treatment… DAMHIK
May 30, 2011 at 8:28 pm rating: 2
#41
hmax17
My mom remedied this in a very different way than a note. She put a red dot on the bottom of each of her Diet Cokes. She knew it was someone on her school’s hall so she just kept a look out when people were drinking their cans to see who it was….And she caught the bitch!
Jun 24, 2011 at 12:56 am rating: 3
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