Comments on: Grandpas can guilt-trip, too!

By: Canthz_B

Canthz_B — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 05:44:47 +0000

I guess you don’t recognize the word “practically”, huh?
And no, it probably wouldn’t take six hours by car, even the long way, unless you don’t like using the highways.
285 miles in width, 330 in length at 55mph you’re assuming she’d have to traverse from the farthest extremities of the state, which is statistically improbable. Odds are she’s closer than 6 hours away by car.

You are aware that “Upstate NY” simply means outside of the NYC metropolitan area, right? Could be 10 miles or 200…it’s all called “Upstate NY”.

As long as we’re pointing out assumptions that is.

By: RP

RP — Tue, 31 May 2011 16:01:29 +0000

The fact that it was written by an old person doesn’t make it less passive aggressive.

We’re not talking about someone stuck in a nursing home who needs others to come visit him. We’re talking about someone who was able to book a flight and travel almost the entire length of the east coast. If he’s able to do that then he’s able to contact other relatives in the area to arrange a meet-up ahead of time.

By: RP

RP — Tue, 31 May 2011 15:45:19 +0000

Grandpa doesn’t get let off the hook for not coming earlier. If he really wanted to see her too he could have adjusted his schedule.

By: RP

RP — Tue, 31 May 2011 15:43:17 +0000

First of all, that’s assuming she even knew he was coming up there ahead of time. She might not have found out about him visiting until after he left.

Second, we don’t know when he was visiting. He might have been there during the week instead of the weekend. Even people who do get paid time off usually have to let their boss know ahead of time if they’re going to use it. She couldn’t just miss a workday and say she just wanted some vacation after the fact.

Third, just because she’s closer doesn’t mean she’s close. She could be as far out as 6 hours away and still be in New York State. That’s hardly “in the neighborhood”.

By: RP

RP — Tue, 31 May 2011 15:29:24 +0000

See her *how*? Did you miss the part about how much tickets cost or do you think the airlines will let you fly for free if you tell them you’re visiting your grandparents?

By: RP

RP — Tue, 31 May 2011 15:27:18 +0000

More of the card is dedicated to complaining about not seeing her versus actually wishing her a happy birthday (anniversary). That’s just crappy. You don’t use holiday or congratulatory greeting cards as an excuse to whine at someone.

Furthermore, context matters. It is ridiculous to argue that this note coming after they missed seeing each other in NYC is just coincidence.

But let’s pretend that going all “woe is me” in a birthday card isn’t rude and we’ll also pretend this has nothing to do with not seeing each other in NYC. WTF is with the “can’t be helped” line?

“Oh, this thing makes me so sad but *I’M* not going to do anything about it.” Seriously? Even going with the most favorable interpretation possible he’s essentially just given up on trying to see her even though he claims he’d like to. Had he asked for a good time to meet up or let her know when he’d be up north again that’d be one thing, but he didn’t.

Whining about a problem you apparently don’t care enough about to solve is not only PA, it’s bullshit.

By: Ruth

Ruth — Sun, 29 May 2011 13:58:13 +0000

Yes, how dare she have any commitments, like working! She should drop her whole life for her (presumably retired) granddad!

Seriously, my grandma died recently, I miss her like fuck, she was more of a mother to me than my own mother, she raised me, she took me to my first day of school, but she was still sometimes passive-aggressive and difficult!

By: bannie

bannie — Sat, 28 May 2011 16:50:06 +0000

Just go see her, already! She’s your grandma, and you won’t have her forever!

By: easily distracted

easily distracted — Wed, 25 May 2011 23:06:50 +0000

Maybe. Or maybe they operate like my family and as Dara’s getting into the car someone casually remarks, “Oh yeah, Grandpa’s coming tomorrow afternoon. Why don’t you stick around? You can just call off work (and miss a day’s pay you so desperately need).”

Nope. This doesn’t drive me crazy. Not. At. All.

By: skull muncher

skull muncher — Sat, 21 May 2011 06:19:25 +0000

Wow, what a bitch… she lives in the same state as her parents and couldn’t hang around for one more day to see her Grandpa? Yes, I’d say that’s her fault.

By: ulblil

ulblil — Sat, 21 May 2011 01:01:10 +0000

It seems to me that if the Grandfather was coming from Fl to visit the parents, everyone would have known about it in advance and any grandchildren could have made their visit when he was in town. At least that’s how we do it in my family, when someone visits my parents from out of town we have a big get together and everyone goes.
My grandfather writes the same exact way as well…..

By: pony girl

pony girl — Fri, 20 May 2011 22:32:13 +0000

@clumber,

thanks! That hit the spot.

By: clumber

clumber — Fri, 20 May 2011 18:12:29 +0000

quietly offers a bag of bite-size Snickers, a cold Italian Soda, and an understanding pat.

By: clumber

clumber — Fri, 20 May 2011 18:11:08 +0000

Yes! We must know!