There’s no “I” in Sarcasm

May 25th, 2011 · 28 comments

“Every week there seems to be a new note in the office kitchen repeating the exact same thing,” says chenry in Canada. “Lately they’ve been threatening to throw away the dishes if you leave them in the sink, but they never do that either.”

(click the image below to enlarge)

Moving forward...any dishes left in the dish rack or sink overnight will be thrown out.

“Now someone’s added his own sign taking the piss out of the rest.”

Moving forward we will need more signs regarding the proper care and placement of dishes. Repeating details of how and when to use the dish rack will be crucial to our ongoing success as a floor. We can do this with everyone pitching in! Thank you, The Pulp & Paper Industry

related: You want clip art? Oh, we’ll give you clip art.

FILED UNDER: blitzkrieg approach · Canada · dishes · in the name of teamwork · kitchen · sarcasm

28 responses so far ↓

  • #1   park rose

    I thought planking was crucial to the ongoing success of a floor. Extreme ironing, anyone?

    May 25, 2011 at 8:57 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   UnclGhost

    I hope that smiley with a green thumb isn’t indication that they’ve kept the dishes dirty enough for plant life to grow on them.

    May 25, 2011 at 8:58 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   TickleMyBambo

      Damn it, someone left crusty food and “cigarette ashes” on the dishes in the sink again! It looks like a freakin’ jungle in there! You don’t realize the amount of hard work it takes to remove all the mold and vegetation from these dishes by just using a machete. I swear, last week Swamp Thing came out of a coffee mug and attacked me. Luckily I had my flamethrower with me, lets just say it didn’t end well for Swamp Thing. If you all honestly enjoy the sight of a sink full of forestation, littered with unwashed crusty dishes and strange mutated monsters popping out of every mold covered dish corner. Than I give you all a well deserved one finger salute and wish you all the best of luck through the bouts of food poisoning and allergy attacks. As for me, I am moving on and eating out.

      May 25, 2011 at 10:49 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   park rose

    I like the green thumb on the yellow smiley face, too. I can’t read the note, but figure anyone seeing it would think it was the Che Guevara of lunchroom etiquette, or that at the least Management was encouraging the development of culture – hence the need to not only leave out the dishes, but to leave them unwashed. I think it is clip-art’s version of the Lady with the torch.

    Give me your tired, your poor/Your huddled moulds yearning to breathe free.

    Subversive. Petri not Petrified. Let us agar-ment our way forward.

    May 25, 2011 at 9:14 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   TickleMyBambo

    Why waste all that paper making annoying signs that only repeats itself over and over? Personally, I think 10th floor will benefit if they just got a Parrot whose cage sits above the sink to deliver this daily message every half hour.

    ” Rawhhh- Please do not leave dishes in the sink – Rawhhh- Failure to wash and remove dishes from sink will result in dishes being thrown out- Rawhhh- I am crucial to the ongoing success -Rawhh- to all you lazy bastards on this floor by -Rawhh- reminding you of proper dish washing and rack placing protocol- Rawhh- Thx Sandra!”

    May 25, 2011 at 9:16 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Recalculating

      I think a GPS voice would be a lot more fun.

      “There are dishes in the sink. Please wash and put them away.”

      Think of the fun insanity!!

      May 26, 2011 at 4:01 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   TickleMyBambo

      It be so epic if the GPS had the voice of Macho Man Randy Savage.

      “Any pansy who forgets to wash th.eir dishes will be snapped into like a slim jim! Oooohhhh YEEEAAAHHHH!”

      May 26, 2011 at 5:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   Twez

    Every place I’ve ever worked has claimed that the janitorial staff doesn’t do the dishes, which I’ve never understood. They’ll clean the toilets, but doing the dishes in the sink is too degrading?

    May 25, 2011 at 9:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   TickleMyBambo

      They are Janitors, not maids or housekeepers. Janitors are paid to clean and provide maintenance for public buildings.. If they want their dishes washed then they either should wash the dishes themselves or stop bringing them to work; Janitors are not responsible for caring for other peoples personal stuff that is not owned by the building in which they are working for. Do you really want someone who has had their hands in disgusting toilets touching the dish that you eat off of? I think not.

      May 25, 2011 at 9:30 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   Rhoddy

      Ditto. My partner works in a hotel and they’ve got some strict rules on this. Whilst they may clean toilets, the janitorial cleaners are not allowed to touch anything with a high mixture of human and organic contamination – so they clean the common areas but they’re not allowed to go into the guest rooms, do the dishes or even clean the kitchen surfaces (maids/housekeeping/kitchen staff do this), and if someone leaves an unwelcome gift in the toilet they are required by Health and Safety to call a plumber or an environmental waste disposal guy from the town planning department.

      May 26, 2011 at 4:23 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.3   unsatisfied

      perhaps it’s just me…..but, I wouldn’t want people who just had their hands in the shitter to be cleaning the office dishes.

      May 26, 2011 at 6:58 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   Divvitar


    May 25, 2011 at 10:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   park rose

      Congratulations on Word!, Divvitar. I loved it.

      May 25, 2011 at 10:42 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   Canthz_B bang

    Paper plates made of recycled paper. Saves both water and time…water for which the company pays, and time their employees should spend doing their jobs, not the dishes.

    May 25, 2011 at 11:05 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   Earl Hamsher

    i would be tempted to buy about 70 or more dishes at the salvation army, smuggle them in and leave a giant pile

    May 26, 2011 at 1:13 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Canthz_B bang

      The Mad Bomber would just be tempted to leave a giant pile.

      May 26, 2011 at 9:55 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   Grumpy Teacher McGrumperson

    Passive or not, this is just damned funny.

    May 26, 2011 at 10:01 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   The Elf

    Pshaw! Everyone knows that in order to take an office policy seriously it must be printed in Comic Sans and have at least three exclamation points. No wonder the message isn’t getting out!

    May 26, 2011 at 11:00 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   Nope

    Why would anyone reasonably sane actually want to wash dishes? Buy a ****ing dishwasher or use paper plates/cups. Washing dishes FTL.

    May 26, 2011 at 11:42 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   Auto Title Loans

    And the winner is…! What I would like to know is who feels they have the necessary power to demand such things in the first place from the staff. Mutual agreement is one sign, and one happy, happy family.

    May 26, 2011 at 12:42 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   Foe

    The slide show is too small. :(

    May 26, 2011 at 1:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   mutzali

    The green thumb sign says:
    ALL 10th floor staff and visitors:

    The plastic cups provided in the kitchen are everyone’s responsibility to wash and put away in the cupboard. The night cleaning staff Do Not wash any of our dishes but they do clean the sinks – anything being left in the sinks are being piled in the dish tray – these dishes are dirty!

    The dish tray is only for clean dishes and to be put away each day before you leave – or so the other sign indicates they will be thrown out.

    Please do your part to keep dishes, counters and kitchen clean – it only makes sense with all of us using this area.

    We can do this with everyone pitching in. Thanks!


    Which leads me to:

    Why are visitors included in this note? I can’t imagine having customers in for a meeting, and then telling them they have to wash their coffee cups.

    If you don’t want dirty dishes in the tray, tell the cleaning staff to stop putting dirty dishes in the tray! From your note, they’re the ones doing that.

    “Anything (being left in the sinks) ARE bing piled in the dish tray?” “Anything”, while it could mean a bunch of dishes, is still a singular noun.

    The disk rack is to be put away every night?

    May 26, 2011 at 1:35 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   The Elf

    If only someone’s mother worked there!

    May 26, 2011 at 2:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   ryanmalloy

      Won’t somebody please think of the children?

      May 26, 2011 at 3:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #16   Dentists West Hollywood

    The trees are suffocating! Someone needs to put a sign by the printer where all these are coming from about how it’s for business only; not passive-aggressive and threatening break-room notes.


    May 26, 2011 at 5:08 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #17   Kate


    May 26, 2011 at 10:01 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #18   JetJackson

    Dirty dishes I can handle…but hearing management speak like “moving forward” is likely to make me go postal.

    May 26, 2011 at 11:03 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Canthz_B bang

      Ugh…I can’t stand “Glide Path”. Our management is always on a Glide Path to some goal. Makes me want to tell them to invest in an engine so we could get there faster.

      May 27, 2011 at 7:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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