What the hell is going on at this office?

May 29th, 2011 · 54 comments

Writes our submitter in Madison, Wisconsin: “A coworker was cutting his fingernails into a community desk at work, so another coworker put on rubber gloves, collected the cuttings, and then put them into a sandwich bag with this note stapled on back in the drawer.”

The real kicker, though? As it turns out, there’s actually more than one nail-clipping culprit in the office, our submitter says, ”because several people took the note personally.”

Wha-wha-WHAT? I mean, one office weirdo — that’s practically a given. But an entire gang of clandestine communal-desk-drawer-nail-clipping coworkers?  That’s just messed up.

Please stop cutting nails into drawer! :(

related: Sorry, I thought those were the *shared* office toenail clippers

FILED UNDER: hygiene · Madison · sad face · that's disgusting · visual aids · WTF?


54 responses so far ↓

  • #1   pony girl

    Bad clip you!

    May 29, 2011 at 9:49 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   fuzzbutt

    i had a guy who would clip his toenails in the office. Really? toetails??

    May 29, 2011 at 9:50 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   TickleMyBambo

      I used to have a co-worker who would pluck his nose hair and flick it off somewhere. Oh how I wanted to level him with my keyboard.

      May 30, 2011 at 12:05 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Who passed out the Haterade?

      I love the mental image.

      *dig*

      *dig dig dig*

      *contorted grimace, then a flick*

      Everyone in the office hears a tiny “snap” sound from something inside TMB’s brain. Without batting an eye, TMB one-hands his keyboard in a blurred 360-degree arc almost too fast to see, like a samurai in an anime.

      “Harry” blinks twice… gets a confused look on his face… then falls backward in his chair, with his feet sticking up in the air. The office bursts into applause.

      May 30, 2011 at 10:06 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   TickleMyBambo

      Standing above the knocked out “Harry” feeling both accomplished and debating what next step to take. Then all of a sudden a mysterious voice booms out “FINISH HIM!”.. And without a second thought, I bring my keyboard down and deliver a quick and powerful blow to “Harrys” head and POOF! “Harry” bursts into a puff of nose hair and coins. “FATALITY! flawless victory” the mysterious voice announces and everyone in the office applauds and I bask in the victory. But it was all cut short when Scorpion pops out from a portal into the room and attacks me with his metal plant snakey things and we proceed to fight, both of us getting sucked into another portal as we proceed to fight in Mortal Kombat. Everyone stands there shocked and confused wondering what the fuck just happened but the awkwardness is cut short when a random guy starts pocketing the coins off the floor.

      HAHA! Haterade you described my fantasy dream sequence perfectly! You honestly rock! Except one thing, I may have been a really pissed off man in my dream but I’m acutally a woman who was really fed up at the time : ). It would have been really cool if I actually did that in real life but instead I told the guy if he kept it up that I was going to shove those tweezers so far down his throat that his shit would be sticking off the end of them when the doctors removed them. I guess it worked since guys were complaining of him doing it in the bathroom and leaving hair all over the counters. By that time it wasn’t my problem anymore cause I quit and got a new job.

      May 30, 2011 at 6:45 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   quat

      This makes me SOOO glad I work alone.

      May 30, 2011 at 10:07 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   Clumber

      2.3 in ref to 2.2 : See??! This is exactly why the English language needs a gender-neutral pronoun.

      May 31, 2011 at 8:47 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   Canthz_B bang

      Gender-neutral? I’m not even going to touch the subject. I’ll leave that to the Republicans and their skewed view of “family values”. LOL

      May 31, 2011 at 8:57 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.7   Who passed out the Haterade?

      I’m glad you liked it, TMB – I did enjoy the mental image you evoked when you first said it, even though I got one ~minor~ detail wrong. (^_~)

      I actually did try to remember to avoid gender-specific pronouns when I started writing, but forgot to keep doing so when I edited before posting… sorry about that. And yeah, we really do need an alternative that doesn’t identify the antecedent as a thing (“it”) rather than a person.

      May 31, 2011 at 9:28 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.8   TickleMyBambo

      Oh Haterade, It’s quite alright, I am not at all offended with being a male gendered specific pronoun in one post ; ). It’s the internet! A matrix full of gender ambiguity. Unless someone outright says what gender they are, you just don’t know. I usually say, if you don’t know if it’s a he or she.. Just go with “it” and see what he/she/”IT” says about that.

      Jun 1, 2011 at 1:15 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.9   Canthz_B bang

      TMB, you can make it clear as hell, and still there will be those who don’t have a clue. CB has been called a girl so often, I’m starting to question my gender assignment! LOL

      Jun 3, 2011 at 9:42 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Nik

    ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew
    who thinks this is proper conduct!?
    wish i had an interrobang for that…

    May 29, 2011 at 9:51 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   FeRD bang

      Stock up, here’s several: ‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽

      May 30, 2011 at 11:40 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Charlotte

    “…several people took the note personally.”

    Several people are gross. Really really gross.

    May 29, 2011 at 9:53 pm   rating: 45  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   JetJackson

    Doesn’t every workplace have a communal nail clipping drawer?

    May 29, 2011 at 10:11 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   pony girl

      Or maybe a Nail-Clipping Friendly room. With comfy chairs and soothing music.

      Please, do not use this room for your silly cellphone calls. We need our privacy to clip our toenails! and for goodness sakes, keep your breast pumps outta our nail-clipping room!

      May 29, 2011 at 10:45 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   JetJackson

      Bah ha ha!

      May 30, 2011 at 1:32 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   park rose

      @ pony girl, no need to sit down, it’s healthier to stand up, and nice bright illuminated rooms – non-stop music to make you bop until you drop, if you could.

      A few broken fingers nails, a nice manicure, bring in the toecutter, bob’s yer uncle, and everyone’s catered for all round.

      May 30, 2011 at 6:34 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   pony girl

      @park rose,

      I imagine it with all ’80s music, lol.

      I’d like to give you an extra thumb up for bob’s yer uncle

      May 30, 2011 at 4:16 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Divvitar

    Don’t people have better things to do at work, or do they just enjoy getting paid to do their personal grooming?

    May 29, 2011 at 10:19 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   pony girl

      Well, they get paid to drink expensive coffee drinks, mess around online, and steal co-workers’ lunches and sodas, so why not this?
      ;)

      May 29, 2011 at 11:13 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Mike

      And many of us don’t get paid when our boss drops off work that requires two hours to complete 45 minutes before normal quitting time. Telling our boss no too many times is a one-way ticket to unemployment.

      It doesn’t excuse rude behavior like grooming, but it does explain why sometimes you might be doing non-work stuff “on the clock.”

      May 30, 2011 at 12:32 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   pony girl

      Any boss that does that, would likely fire you in a heartbeat for doing non-work stuff “on the clock.”

      May 30, 2011 at 1:01 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   TickleMyBambo

      Unless it specifically says somewhere that whoever donates the most nails clippings will get a raise.. I say it’s best to leave your non work stuff unfinished until you got home.. Or else risk doing non work stuff as a full time job.

      May 30, 2011 at 1:12 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   park rose

      Anyone who can donate the most nail clippings will definitely get a rise.

      PAN has always been an enjoyable workday distraction for many.

      May 30, 2011 at 6:38 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Kay

    Ugh. I am pathetic. I hang my head in shame.

    I worked out of a meeting room with a team of pigs who left their used tissues everywhere during cold/bronchitis/pneumonia season. The cleaners refused to clean them up. The snot-heads refused to confess whose snot was whose, but continued the daily piles. I too used gloves to corral them (and then wipe the tables with disinfectant).

    And now I am freakin’ serious when I say I should have bagged and labelled them instead of throwing them out every day so I could work there without gagging. F*ck. I learn so much on the Internet. Would have been most useful earlier in my career.

    Thank you.

    May 29, 2011 at 10:20 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Sonya

    For a second there, I thought this guy was literally building a desk from his nail clippings.

    May 29, 2011 at 10:23 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Roundredhead

    I think this is a case where a little more is needed than a passive aggressive note. I think the offended office worker should have gathered the nail clippings and then taken a piece of cardboard and carefully drawn a pentagram and placed the nail clippings in the middle of it along with some half-burned black candles. A little phony witchcraft should clear this behavior right up. If that doesn’t work, I think you can get books describing more authentic spells…

    May 29, 2011 at 11:07 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   TickleMyBambo

      Or maybe take the nail clippings and put them inside everyone’s food and drinks. Hopefully that will put an end to the unwanted office nail clipping once and for all. If not, then those are truly disgusting people.

      May 29, 2011 at 11:56 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   Clumber

      RRH wins. AWESOME idea. Now I’ll spend all week looking around for the chance to do exactly that… i bet it would work for lots of things…

      Got any ideas for a boss who BANGS stacks of paper on his desk about 400 times a day, as a nervous tic? About 50 times in a 5-min period a co-worker counted. Or am I limited to the TMB method of coldcocking him with a keyboard? Could I substitute a 2×4? Perhaps rebar? Lead pipe?

      May 31, 2011 at 8:51 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   James L.

    Don’t these co-workers realize that this is entirely inappropriate and that the only proper place to clip one’s nails is on public transportation during rush hour?

    May 29, 2011 at 11:09 pm   rating: 36  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Mike

      People in SF seem to have that one figured out.

      May 30, 2011 at 12:34 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Old Uncle Toe bang

    ”because several people took the note personally.”

    If I may translate: “I am offended that you complain that I clip my nails and leave them in a drawer.”

    I am in awe of that strong a mistaken sense of entitlement. Perhaps these people should run for congress.

    May 29, 2011 at 11:26 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   TickleMyBambo

    To go to work and open up a drawer full of nail clippings everyday would drive me over the edge. UGH, There is a trash can for a reason people! These happy go lucky nail clipping co-workers have no consideration towards their non nail clipping co-workers to take into account how this would gross the later out. How else could you explain the ridiculous outrage by these slobs over this note? I bet you they probably pick their noses and wipe their boogers all over the walls and under desks because they don’t feel like using a tissue. All this would be enough reason to file for a resignation and find another job elsewhere, hopefully there isn’t any leftover nail clippings stuck on the resume.

    May 29, 2011 at 11:50 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Clumber

      Hey how about a mouse/rat trap in that drawer? Rigged to explode when the drawer is opened.

      Yes, I neglected to mention the trap has c4, not cheese.

      May 31, 2011 at 8:52 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   TickleMyBambo

      That sounds like a great idea! Though there is one flaw…What if there was an accidental detination? That would suck for the person not guilty of the nail clipping crime.

      May 31, 2011 at 3:00 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Pun DMC

    *stands up*

    *Golf clips*

    May 30, 2011 at 12:09 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Mrs.Beasley bang

    Oh lordy, this entire revolting situation is beyond the pale!

    May 30, 2011 at 12:46 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Canthz_B bang

    Aw, that’s so cuticle.

    But really, I’m glad someone decided to (o)nyx this behavior off at the root, otherwise, it could lead to yet another sequel of “The Matrix”.

    May 30, 2011 at 1:49 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   bored equestrian

      Canthz_B when are you going to go on the offensive and call sombody a idiot again and make a big fight over something here?

      May 30, 2011 at 2:26 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   Who passed out the Haterade?

      I actually thought his note was perversely amusing enough, but I’ll do my part to help…

      I still don’t believe the average 6-year-old is smarter than the average cat.

      May 30, 2011 at 5:32 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   Canthz_B bang

      Aw, what’s the matter, equestrian? Kinda miss the fireworks?
      I’m busy, let some other straw stir the drink.
      Maybe then you’ll get past 60 comments again.

      May 31, 2011 at 8:20 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   zenvelo

    What? No clip-art?

    Not PA enough….

    May 30, 2011 at 10:02 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Who passed out the Haterade?

      Worst/best pun I’ve seen all day. (^_^)

      May 31, 2011 at 12:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Dr Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

    Sounds like they just have reached a consensus that this will now be The Nail Clipping Drawer. It’s a social contract, people!

    May 30, 2011 at 11:06 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Isa

    Someone did this very thing sitting behind me on the bus one morning. Every single *clip* sound made me flinch/gag. I didn’t take it for long – I had to get off the bus and even shook my hair out because I was paranoid I had nail clippings stuck in there somewhere!! To this day the memory makes me shudder…ew ew ew!

    May 30, 2011 at 11:25 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Jes

    I used to work at a medical office where some patients would sit in the waiting room and cut their nails. Public clipping is never appropriate. I can see ONE nail because of a break or something, but not all of them.

    I also shared a desk with someone who would pick their nose and use the computer keyboard while they were covering for my breaks. Really classy.

    All yuck.

    May 30, 2011 at 11:41 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   broketaxpayer

    I was at an airport years ago and a young woman was clipping her TOENAILS in the fast food restaurant eating area. This guy said something to her about how disgusting her behavior was. You know what her excuse was? She had a three hour lay over. This is a true story. Also, there were benches in the bathroom where she could have done this. Disgusting!

    May 30, 2011 at 6:14 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   panda

    Have to confess, I work in a small office with two other male co-workers and have often seen or heard them clipping their fingernails during work hours. That said, they usually have the courtesy to do it in their own waste baskets, as opposed to creepily collecting their nail clippings in a drawer.

    May 31, 2011 at 11:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Cris

    I was taken aback until I read where the post came from… Madison, WI. You have to know where the weirdos live

    May 31, 2011 at 12:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Car Title Loans

    I really have never understood the reasoning behind cutting your nails at the office. As I realize sometimes it’s time to cut them, are you really that comfortable at work that you feel it necessary to take care of it then and there? Eesh!

    May 31, 2011 at 2:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Dr_Know

    There’s a dude who cuts his nails (hands and feet I’m pretty sure) in the stairwell of my unit. So gross…he also smokes in there too. Pretty sure that’s illegal :/

    Jun 1, 2011 at 6:50 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Roren

    I live in Madison and just moved to a new office. I found old, yellow fingernails in my desk drawer. I wonder if it’s the same culprit?

    What is wrong with people!?!?!?

    Jun 3, 2011 at 8:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   andria

    While I don’t find fingernails “gross”, there is definitely a time and a place to be clipping them. The worse thing I’ve seen in regards to this is some guy clipping his nails on the bus and not giving two shits where his clippings were going. I mean, jeez, at least be courteous about it.

    Jun 4, 2011 at 9:56 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

Comments are Closed