Toy-let Story

May 30th, 2011 · 39 comments

Beth in London says this is only the most recent in a series of sad/hungry/angry household items created by one of her flatmates. “We’re all fairly disorganised,” she admits, “but one guy, possibly fearful of confrontation, prefers to avoid addressing any issues directly.”

I'm starving!

Adds Beth: “A loo-roll holder with eyes is not a very appealing bathroom companion, by the way.”

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the United Kingdom, one of Emma’s flatmates decided to take a similarly cartoonish approach to their toilet troubles.


related: Fluffy the Fox is here to teach you about bathroom hygiene!

FILED UNDER: anthropomorphism · bathroom · roommates · toilet · toilet paper

39 responses so far ↓

  • #1   katie_2256

    Aside from the fact that in 1/10th of the time taken to produce these babies, said toilet roll could have been replaced and toilet flushed, they are so sweet! How can you get mad at a PA driven person who uses little cute sad eyes or colourful letters?!

    May 30, 2011 at 11:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   FeRD bang

    I like that the fridge-magnet-ransom-note crazy person consciously avoided hypocrisy, by signing his/her work on the first “H”.

    May 30, 2011 at 11:35 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   Melissa

    After 23 years of changing the paper roll after my father, who consistently leaves it empty, I started leaving notes attached to the top of the toilet seat lid. It may sound childish, sure, and maybe it is, but it WORKS. Or at least, it works on 53-year-old men. :D

    May 30, 2011 at 11:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   aaa bang

    Not a very appealing bathroom companion? Speak for yourself. I, for one, heartily enjoy being stared at while I excrete.

    May 30, 2011 at 11:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   TickleMyBambo

      I dunno, if the toilet roll holder had the face of R Kelly, I surely wouldn’t want to be excreting around that. Especially if it has that look like “Hey, I’m starving for you to pee on me”. Yeah, no thank you R Kelly roll holder.

      May 31, 2011 at 1:05 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   farcical aquatic ceremony

      Before I scrolled down, I thought the eyes were pasted above a urinal, so, yeah, R. Kelly was one of the first places my brain stopped, too!

      May 31, 2011 at 9:17 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.3   aaa bang

      Bathroom companions have to be satisfied with the fact that they’re not always going to be peed on. IT’S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT, GUYS.

      May 31, 2011 at 9:57 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.4   TickleMyBambo

      It’s early morning and the sun is shining
      I wake to my alarm clock chiming
      I’m streaching and yawning
      Getting out of bed, I head towards the bathroom
      I walk in the bathroom and put my stuff on the counter
      Before I could start my morning ritual of bathing and excreting
      A strange creepy giggle echos around the room
      I stop and start investigating, wondering “WTF?”
      Then I noticed a pair of eyes above the toilet roll holder
      Looking me up and down, studying my body
      The large creepy eyes start wigglind and winking
      My body convulses in disgust
      I go to the door to make my escape
      Only to realize in horror that the door was locked
      Then a voice on the other side of the door said
      “Just so you know we got a new bathroom companion”
      Realizing this was aaa, and that he/she was up to his/her usual tricks I bang on the door
      “Let me out! I feel like I’m being creeped on by R Kelly in here”
      aaa laughs and says ” No. People keep forgetting to change the roll. Plus I like having Mr. Googly eyes in there. Makes my taking a shit feel important.”
      “But what about what I want? Surely there is another way to do this?” I plead, no longer wanting to share this room with “Mr.Googly eyes”
      No response, “aaa?. Again no response
      Shit…Trapped in the bathroom
      Shit…aaa is going to pay for this!
      Shit… I got to shit…shit
      “Aaaaaaa!” I scream in frustration
      “That’s my name! don’t wear it out”..Damn you aaa.
      I look over at Mr. Googly eyes who winks at me “Hey baby, I’m starving” ; )
      *sigh* shit…

      May 31, 2011 at 2:43 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   JetJackson

    This reminds me of when I was a kid and used to say to my dad “I’m Starving!”… He would of course respond with the typical Dad response;

    “Hi Starving, I’m dad. Pleased to meet you.”

    So reading this note I can only imagine my father responding to the empty toilet roll the same way.

    May 30, 2011 at 11:50 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   MrCreepy

      “Hi, toilet roll, I’m, uh…. hell, I guess I have to refill you.”

      May 31, 2011 at 12:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   TickleMyBambo

      My dad would have been like, “Hey, what a coincidence! My name is Starving too! Well, Starving, looks like you and me are going to be great friends.”

      May 31, 2011 at 4:03 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.3   Jessi

      My mother always threatened to box up and send my meal to people who were actually starving when I said something similar as a child.

      May 31, 2011 at 5:13 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.4   Janellionaire

      I would say, “Mom, will you make me a sandwich?” and she would go, “Poof! You’re a sandwich!”

      Mom humor ftl.

      May 31, 2011 at 11:02 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   James L.

    Regarding the second picture, what is the “this” to which the writer is referring? Is she annoyed that someone had put the lid down?

    May 31, 2011 at 12:21 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   TickleMyBambo

      Maybe “THIS” refers to the cigarette ashes left all over inside the toilet bowl?

      May 31, 2011 at 12:55 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.2   park rose

      This = What The Flush!! (or no flush, as the case may be).

      May 31, 2011 at 3:20 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.3   TickleMyBambo

      What The Feces is going on here?

      May 31, 2011 at 3:54 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   Sonya

    I’m pretty frightened with the 2nd picture because it implies that there’s something volatile in the bowl.

    May 31, 2011 at 12:49 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   TickleMyBambo


      May 31, 2011 at 12:59 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.2   Clumber

      TMB… Have you ever considered looking into therapy?

      Thumbed ya’ cuz’ you made me guffaw from a bad mood. Which probably means I should also look into therapy…

      May 31, 2011 at 8:41 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.3   TickleMyBambo

      I’m sorry, when Sonya said that the magnet note implied that there was something volatile in the toilet..This was one of very many volatile things that popped into my mind of what could possibly be behind that closed toilet lid with the deceptively colorful letters on top. Plus, this actually happened 2 years ago to my friend when her roommates boyfriend was “trying to be funny” one day and she texted that very statement to me (as if I had any knowledge of it? O.o). Nobody found the prank funny..Especially the trojan wrapped gerbil who luckily survived the whole ordeal.

      Glad I could guffaw you out of a bad mood, Clumber? You’re more than welcome to join the gerbil and me for next weeks group therapy session : )

      May 31, 2011 at 1:33 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.4   First-Time Computer User

      LOL, I loved your comment, TickleMyBamboo. Stay classy.

      Edit: I read the follow-up and I’m concerned that you actually did find a gerbil in a toilet. Hm.

      May 31, 2011 at 6:54 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.5   TickleMyBambo

      Thank you, First time. And I didn’t find the gerbil myself, my friend did and she texted me (hence the my first comment: a reference to what she literally texted me) so I came over and we made sure the gerbil was alright. My friends rommates boyfriend is a jerk and that situation was an example of one of the many volatile things that can be in or happen to a toilet..Hence why I made the comment. But I willt try to stay classy and people watch for any objects or living creatures that don’t belong in toilets.

      May 31, 2011 at 7:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   shwo! bang

    I’m just glad the magnet letters didn’t spell “I’m Starving.”

    May 31, 2011 at 12:58 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   SashaNotSoFierce

    I am curious to know what was left in that toilet bowl.

    It could feasibly be any number of things and not limited to toilet-related messes i.e. excrement, urine or toilet paper (or loo paper) or some mix of those.

    And frankly I find it funny that it’s an exclamation as opposed to a question. Like the person doesn’t really want to know who did it and is more pissed that it happened at all.

    May 31, 2011 at 1:13 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   TickleMyBambo

    I can imagine a Kanye West picture above the toilet roll holder that says ” Yo flatmates who are starving for more TP. I’m real happy for you, Imma let you finish but I’m the best douche bag to not refill the toilet roll holder of all time!”

    May 31, 2011 at 1:20 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   First-Time Computer User

      Haha, that is excessive. We need it on the site.

      May 31, 2011 at 6:57 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   Chesire Cat

    Awesome! I approve of notes if they use a cute cartoon face like the first note or brightly colored foam stick on letters like the second. If you are going to be passive aggressive at least do it fun like this!

    May 31, 2011 at 6:59 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   Canthz_B bang

    I wonder (to my chagrin) what Beth thinks is an appealing bathroom companion.

    May 31, 2011 at 8:29 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   The Elf

      You know that guy from the Thor movie whose name I am too lazy to look up? Him, in the shower. That’s an appealing bathroom companion.

      Or is that just me?

      Jun 1, 2011 at 2:27 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.2   Canthz_B bang

      LOL, not for me he’s not, Elf…and NO, I’m NOT picking up that bar of soap with him in here.
      I don’t want to know the power of Thor’s hammer!

      Jun 2, 2011 at 1:04 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   Clumber

    I solved the “refuses to replace the tp roll” issue at home with a new holder that is even easier to replace tp on than the standard. It’ just a bar held off the wall. No springs – just slide the empty off, the new on. Beloved spouse now replaces the tp about 8 of 10 times, up from 1 of 10 or worse.

    May 31, 2011 at 8:44 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   CaptainC

    Am I the only one seriously creeped out by the face? If I saw that in the middle of the night in dim lighting I might scream.

    May 31, 2011 at 11:18 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   Cosmetic Dentistry West Hollywood

    My roommate is actually the worst at putting a roll of toilet paper on the roll. It can be empty for days and she still not replace it. Although a little off-beat, this is not a terrible idea to get a point across and entertain yourself!

    May 31, 2011 at 12:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Nahhh bang

      Just a general bit of wonderment not directed solely at your roommate, but…

      …what do people like her wipe with?

      May 31, 2011 at 10:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #16   kayjayess

    I know this makes me super uncool, but I thought the toilet roll holder was funny. I am still laughing about it.

    May 31, 2011 at 4:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   First-Time Computer User

      Yes. It takes a master at passive aggression to make an inanimate object look like it’s judging you.

      May 31, 2011 at 7:00 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #17   AuntyBron

    Notquite sure that I want to bust a grumpy in a stall where the TP holder is looking at my ass and thinking “Lunch! – Super-sized!”

    Jun 1, 2011 at 11:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #18   trlkly

    Starting from June 5, 2011, this is the first example that is actually passive aggressive.

    Jun 5, 2011 at 9:45 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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