Entries from May 2011
As it happens, our entire technical staff (a.k.a Eric) recently completed a Ph.D in computer science and took a job at the newly formed Max Planck Institute for Intelligent Systems in picturesque Tübingen, Germany. (That’s right kids, if you work hard, and get your doctorate in computer science, you too may one day be qualified enough to host a found-content blog!)
Upon arriving at MPI’s Tübingen campus, Eric immediately felt at home. Specifically, he spotted some encouraging signage right next to the second floor elevator in one of MPI’s buildings.

Besides being a powerful testament to Southern Germany’s deep love of hiking, this health conscious posting also highlights the institute’s international reach. As you can see, the note itself is actually a photograph of a sign that was originally posted at (by?) Korea University*.
Of course walking down a single flight of stairs is hardly an inconvenience, particularly since the stairs in question are literally across from the elevator and lead directly to the building’s main entrance. The folks on the third floor, however, have a different perspective on the situation. Posted next to the third floor elevator is this rather charming reply.

Finally, from across the Atlantic, students at the University of Virginia have brought to light an additional concern surrounding the classic elevator vs. stairs debate. The following note, spotted by Trisha, was placed by the stairs of her UVA apartment building…along with an entire box of fat-free vanilla pudding.

Needless to say, the pudding was gone by the end of the day.
Tags: Charlottesville · college life · elevator · Germany · hey fatty · rebuttals
Tags: "customer service" · bathroom · California · etiquette · guilt trip · restaurant
This isn’t the first “coffee-maker etiquette” flowchart I’ve seen, but it is the most aesthetically pleasing.
Says Sarah in St. Louis: “The IT department in our office is notorious for drinking the last of the coffee without making more.” (Note the subtle “I heart C++” mug.) Apparently, one of her co-workers thought breaking things down into engineer-speak might help.

Meanwhile, in Toledo, Ohio…a variation tailored to a slightly different audience:

related: Passive-aggressive flowcharts
Tags: coffee · etiquette · flow chart · Jesus · most popular notes of 2011 · office · St. Louis · Toledo · visual aids
Grandmas: they can kiss you on the cheek while punching you in the gut, and you’ll still write a thank-you note…or wish you had. BECAUSE OTHERWISE YOU WOULDN’T BE HERE.
![[Grandma]: I have 7 Grandkids -- 3 grandkid-in-laws -- 5 great-grandkids -- THIS IS A MESSAGE TO ALL OF THE ABOVE -- I just wanted to remind you that I am the mother of your mother. Without your mother YOU WOULDN'T BE HERE. I want you to know that I am NOT keeping track, but Christy [redacted] is the only one who remembered me on Mother's Day. Our will is being adjusted as I speak. Lots of Love...Nan [Grandma]: I have 7 Grandkids -- 3 grandkid-in-laws -- 5 great-grandkids -- THIS IS A MESSAGE TO ALL OF THE ABOVE -- I just wanted to remind you that I am the mother of your mother. Without your mother YOU WOULDN'T BE HERE. I want you to know that I am NOT keeping track, but Christy [redacted] is the only one who remembered me on Mother's Day. Our will is being adjusted as I speak. Lots of Love...Nan](http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2305/5710963077_895e2af715_o.jpg)
related: But…but…I didn’t forget!
P.S. By the way, Grandma Cookie, I did call you at Palm Garden on Mother’s Day — three times — but you didn’t answer. But, um, Happy Mother’s Day?
Tags: CAPS LOCK · Facebook · family · Grandma · guilt trip · Idaho · just a friendly reminder · Mother's Day · not-so-veiled threats · signed with love
I don’t ever condone passive-aggressive note-writing, but you should be warned: hard-core Diet Coke drinkers do not fool around. (Trust me — I’m a recovering addict myself.)
![The Beverage [sic] you are about to consume doesn't belong to you :( Are we playing finders keepers I think NOT? Don't I look delicious? Too bad...get your own :) OMG! Did...you...buy me?! ... NO. Hi! I'm not yours :) PUT ME DOWN! The Beverage [sic] you are about to consume doesn't belong to you :( Are we playing finders keepers I think NOT? Don't I look delicious? Too bad...get your own :) OMG! Did...you...buy me?! ... NO. Hi! I'm not yours :) PUT ME DOWN!](http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5301/5695093122_dc551c62bc_b.jpg)


related: Enough with the diet sodas!
Tags: blitzkrieg approach · Diet Coke · fridge · most popular notes of 2011 · not-so-veiled threats · sad face · smiley · stealing
Note: the following message has explicitly NOT been approved by Jack Donaghy. (Do not be fooled by that GE logo at the bottom of the page.)
Remarkably enough, our submitter, Dan in Milwaukee, says the following message was NOT penned by a satirical television writer, but rather by an anonymous member of the office Green Police. (The two pennies — payment for 2011′s extra energy usage — were then added later by an anonymous member of the office Bullshit Police.)

This is, of course, simply a new strategy in the ongoing war being waged in kitchenettes across the world by the United League of Office Workers Who Have Nothing Better to Complain About.

related: Some of have OCD and unused microwave time drives us crazy
Tags: dubious scientific claims · energy usage · microwave · Milwaukee · office · questionable logic · The Earth · Wisconsin · WTF?
“My fiance and I are getting married on our nine-year anniversary of being together,” writes our bride-to-be from Las Vegas, Nevada. Before leaving town for her wedding and honeymoon, the office threw a small party in her honor, and everyone signed a card full of blessings and good wishes. Everyone, that is, except for one particular executive, who added his unsigned note of support on the back in his distinctive handwriting. Touching, no?

related: A greeting card for my son…and the harlot with whom he’s living in sin
Tags: heartwarming compassion · Las Vegas · love & marriage · Nevada · office
Jill from Baltimore is in her early 30s now, so she has enough distance from her childhood self to laugh at the passive-aggressiveness of this Mother’s Day card she made when she 11 or 12. “I love that I used Mother’s Day as an opportunity to not only tell my mom how great she is, but also to not-so-subtly point out her shortcomings.”

(If you were wondering about the “NA,” Dad did the cooking.)
related: Happy F’ing Mother’s Day!
Tags: Baltimore · kids · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2011 · Mother's Day · Mother-daughter notes