Entries from May 2011
Grandmas: they can kiss you on the cheek while punching you in the gut, and you’ll still write a thank-you note…or wish you had. BECAUSE OTHERWISE YOU WOULDN’T BE HERE.
related: But…but…I didn’t forget!
P.S. By the way, Grandma Cookie, I did call you at Palm Garden on Mother’s Day — three times — but you didn’t answer. But, um, Happy Mother’s Day?
Tags: CAPS LOCK · Facebook · family · Grandma · guilt trip · Idaho · just a friendly reminder · Mother's Day · not-so-veiled threats · signed with love
I don’t ever condone passive-aggressive note-writing, but you should be warned: hard-core Diet Coke drinkers do not fool around. (Trust me — I’m a recovering addict myself.)
related: Enough with the diet sodas!
Tags: blitzkrieg approach · Diet Coke · fridge · most popular notes of 2011 · not-so-veiled threats · sad face · smiley · stealing
Note: the following message has explicitly NOT been approved by Jack Donaghy. (Do not be fooled by that GE logo at the bottom of the page.)
Remarkably enough, our submitter, Dan in Milwaukee, says the following message was NOT penned by a satirical television writer, but rather by an anonymous member of the office Green Police. (The two pennies — payment for 2011′s extra energy usage — were then added later by an anonymous member of the office Bullshit Police.)
This is, of course, simply a new strategy in the ongoing war being waged in kitchenettes across the world by the United League of Office Workers Who Have Nothing Better to Complain About.
related: Some of have OCD and unused microwave time drives us crazy
Tags: dubious scientific claims · energy usage · microwave · Milwaukee · office · questionable logic · The Earth · Wisconsin · WTF?
“My fiance and I are getting married on our nine-year anniversary of being together,” writes our bride-to-be from Las Vegas, Nevada. Before leaving town for her wedding and honeymoon, the office threw a small party in her honor, and everyone signed a card full of blessings and good wishes. Everyone, that is, except for one particular executive, who added his unsigned note of support on the back in his distinctive handwriting. Touching, no?
related: A greeting card for my son…and the harlot with whom he’s living in sin
Tags: heartwarming compassion · Las Vegas · love & marriage · Nevada · office
Jill from Baltimore is in her early 30s now, so she has enough distance from her childhood self to laugh at the passive-aggressiveness of this Mother’s Day card she made when she 11 or 12. “I love that I used Mother’s Day as an opportunity to not only tell my mom how great she is, but also to not-so-subtly point out her shortcomings.”
(If you were wondering about the “NA,” Dad did the cooking.)
related: Happy F’ing Mother’s Day!
Tags: Baltimore · kids · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2011 · Mother's Day · Mother-daughter notes
Our submitter in North Dakota, an instructor at one of the state’s institutions of higher learning, found this note left behind by a student in one of her English Composition classes. “We had begun meeting in a computer lab two classes prior,” she writes, “something which had been announced at the beginning of the classes leading up to the room switch as well as on the syllabus.”
But you know, “nobody likes to have to dig your syllabus out.” That’s like, a total drag, dude!
Seriously, kids today(!!!)
related: The “feeling of failing” debacle
extra credit: “In the Basement of the Ivory Tower,” by Professor X [theatlantic.com]
Tags: college life · confusion??? · exclamation-point happy!!!! · most popular notes of 2011 · North Dakota · spelling and grammar police · that's disrespectful
Writes our disgusted submitter: “All that time on the toilet to think, and this is what you came up with?”
related: Does your roommate have note-writing diarrhea?
Tags: all-staff e-mail · D.C. · illness · office · shit · that's disgusting · TMI
First up: a peek inside the recently renovated dressing rooms at London’s swank Royal Albert Hall. Adds our submitter: “You can just feel the glamour, can’t you?”
Meanwhile, in the breakroom at Ashley’s office, even snarky responses get their own frames. Now that’s classy.
related: Please refrain from unintentional irony
Tags: clip art catastrophe · London · rebuttals
“My roommate is a total slob,” says Elinor in Toronto, so after two weeks away from the apartment, she wasn’t too surprised to see the kitchen piled high with several delightfully fragrant, filled-to-the-brim garbage bags. When she went to throw them out, Elinor discovered one of the bags was actually filled with clothes, so she put that one in her roommate’s room.
The next morning, Elinor found both of these notes slid under her bedroom door.
related: Stop! Don’t chute!
Tags: garbage · Oops? · roommates · Toronto · touching