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You could be a part-time model

June 5th, 2011 · 70 comments

New Year’s Eve, Miami, 2010: “A man handed me this and then walked away without a word,” our submitter recalls. “I was tipsy enough to be flattered for a moment.”

Title: Semi Pretty Girl In a Bar, Miami, 2010. Your beauty inspired me to high art.

related: A critique of your online dating profile

extra credit: “The Most Beautiful Girl (In the Room)” [youtube.com]

 

FILED UNDER: art · backhanded compliment · drizzunk · Miami


70 responses so far ↓

  • #1   A-lice

    #WIN.

    Jun 5, 2011 at 6:17 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

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  • #2   spudmom

    Apparently she was only rated “semi pretty” because she seems to be balding on top?

    Jun 5, 2011 at 6:20 pm   rating: 45  small thumbs up

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    • #2.1   snee

      and she’s a bit too thin.

      Jun 5, 2011 at 7:51 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       

    • #2.2   snee

      nice long neck, though.

      Jun 5, 2011 at 7:51 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       

    • #2.3   TickleMyBambo

      She must have dazzled him with her beautiful smile. I mean that smile says how much of a positive, happy person she is!… Or maybe that’s the alcohol showing.

      Jun 5, 2011 at 8:35 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       

    • #2.4   AuntyBron

      but no hooters – hense the “semi” pretty.

      Jun 5, 2011 at 11:23 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       

    • #2.5   Canthz_B bang

      Looks very much like the kind of art one makes when high…so that makes it “High Art”.

      Jun 6, 2011 at 12:19 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
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  • #3   lauramae

    Dear marginally attractive guy, “You’re still not getting any.”

    Jun 5, 2011 at 6:23 pm   rating: 106  small thumbs up

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    • #3.1   false

      the guy is way hotter than u

      Jun 5, 2011 at 8:19 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.2   TickleMyBambo

      I would love to see what kind of high art a marginally attractive guy would inspire. I’m betting it wouldn’t be any good to look at.

      Jun 5, 2011 at 9:16 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.3   Canthz_B bang

      I dunno, Tickle. It’s possible marginally attractive women tend to think of themselves as more attractive than marginally attractive men.
      Why?
      Make-up. Women can tweak things…men cannot, so men have to face facts (excuse the pun).
      A marginally attractive woman (thinking she’s more than that) can turn down the advances of a marginally attractive man in some really mean-spirited ways sometimes inspiring mean-spirited notes like this one.
      It’s the typical “Who the hell do you think you are, you conceded bitch?” male response to a harsh shoot-down.

      Trust me! LOL

      Jun 6, 2011 at 7:33 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.4   TickleMyBambo

      I dunno, CB, there are some marginally attractive women out there that no matter how much tweaking they do to their apperance it just doesn’t work out well for them because of the “I’m hot and better than you” attitude that you mentioned tends to ruin whatever work they put into looking good to both the drunk and sober eye. And to say that men cannot change their looks for the better is not exactly true. Marginally attractive men can tweak themselves to be more appealing to women, but they sometimes don’t do it because guys don’t find a point to it. You could be right that the submitter was bitchy and turned down the not writer hence the note being created and given, a highly possible situation with a very reasonable response. And it’s also possible that the note writer was trying to be flattering but ended up failing horribly by coming off as a douchecanoe who doesn’t really know the true meaning of beauty.

      P.S. I do trust what you’re saying CB : )

      Jun 6, 2011 at 8:44 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.5   Canthz_B bang

      No. EVERYTHING looks good to the drunken male eye, no tweaks necessary…just proximity to closing time and number of drinks downed matter sometimes.
      Rosanne Barr is hot…after 5 vodka martinis and 2 rum and cokes!
      Men don’t get turned off by bad attitude…men are after sex. We don’t give a shit about an ugly attitude we’ll never give a call-back as long as we get to hit it.
      Put frankly, I’ve never put mine inside of an attitude. :lol:

      Jun 6, 2011 at 8:50 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.6   TickleMyBambo

      Yeah that’s what one would call lowered inhabitions haha :P

      Jun 6, 2011 at 8:57 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.7   Canthz_B bang

      No, it’s a heightened sense of the beauty of the female body in all its forms .

      That’s what we’re sticking to anyway! LOL

      Truth is, it’s a lowering of standards due to a desperate need for sex and a great amount of rationalization!
      Not lowered inhibitions…lowered expectations. ;-)

      Jun 6, 2011 at 9:08 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.8   TickleMyBambo

      Good point, CB. Though with lowered expectations comes lowered inhibitions as well. It’s a two sided coin of alcohol influenced sexual desperation. It’s amazing what a person can see and do under the influence of liquid courage. : )

      Jun 6, 2011 at 11:08 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.9   Canthz_B bang

      LOL, that’s not liquid courage, it’s liquid resignation!

      When I was about 19 or 20 I was making fun of a friend who’d had sex with a less than attractive young lady. Know what he said?…”Pussy has no face.”
      That’s why so many butt-ugly women have children. :lol:

      ♫ If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife. ♫

      Jun 7, 2011 at 12:36 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
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  • #4   Lunar

    Does “high art” mean he thinks this is high quality, he’s saying it’s high quality in a sarcastic way or (my personal favourite) did he draw whilst high?

    Jun 5, 2011 at 6:25 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

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    • #4.1   TickleMyBambo

      He probably thought it was “High Art” because he felt inspired by what he could see through his heavily fogged beer goggles. He took the form of a very attractive woman and drunkenly dulled down her looks into a “semi-pretty” girl. Feeling quite proud of himself, he then decided to call it high art and gave it to her, honestly hoping that he could impress the submitter with his somewhat creative backhanded compliment. Oh he impressed her alright, enough for her to ensure that his masterpiece doesn’t go unrecognized. She got a hold of a few contacts and now, low and behold, his work of art is being displayed on the walls of PAN for many to marvel at its ridiculousness.

      Jun 5, 2011 at 8:59 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
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  • #5   phatBoy

    you were in a bar? perhaps you were FIRSTY!!

    Jun 5, 2011 at 6:30 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

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    • #5.1   FeRD bang

      What 6 idiots thumbed this??

      Jun 8, 2011 at 4:55 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
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  • #6   Jorge Barnes

    What does a guy hope to accomplish with a note such as this? Is he hoping her self esteem is low enough that she’ll go chasing after him… er…I guess I answered my own question.

    Jun 5, 2011 at 6:33 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

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  • #7   FIRST!

    FIRST!!!!!!!!

    Jun 5, 2011 at 6:34 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

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    • #7.1   Jessica

      Not even close.

      Jun 5, 2011 at 7:03 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       

    • #7.2   dixiechick

      Not even semi-first.

      Jun 5, 2011 at 7:24 pm   rating: 32  small thumbs up

       

    • #7.3   eliz

      SEVENTH!!!
      Well…third reply to seventh!!!

      OMG, must tell ALL my friends!!!

      Jun 5, 2011 at 10:13 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       

    • #7.4   JetJackson

      It took you 17 minutes to type first?

      Jun 6, 2011 at 12:52 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       

    • #7.5   georgina

      I disagree. As unfunny as it may be, this website has some seriously slow updating.

      Jun 6, 2011 at 6:55 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       

    • #7.6   Canthz_B bang

      F5 key.
      Works wonders.
      Maybe you’re just a seriously slow updater.

      Jun 6, 2011 at 7:17 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       

    • #7.7   eliz

      … and maybe next time don’t bother typing “First”. Instead, attempt a little humor, ok? Then it won’t matter if you’re first or seventh.

      Jun 6, 2011 at 10:39 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
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  • #8   Kay

    This P/A dude spots a woman (pretty, semi pretty or not pretty at all even), thinks he doesn’t have a chance with her (and for that reason, does not) and wishes to take her down a notch so that she can feel shitty too. A few beers later, he is “inspired”. It is a sad story.

    Jun 5, 2011 at 6:56 pm   rating: 53  small thumbs up

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    • #8.1   Nahhh bang

      This drawing could serve to define the axiom: “Misery loves company.”

      Jun 6, 2011 at 4:04 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
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  • #9   zenvelo

    He doesn’t appear to be a breast man. But at least he’s saying there was no camel toe.

    Jun 5, 2011 at 6:57 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

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  • #10   Kathleen

    Ouch. Beauty inspired *that* art? I think “high” holds a different definition in this case.

    Jun 5, 2011 at 7:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

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    • #10.1   TickleMyBambo

      It was not beauty that inspired THAT art. It was lots of beer and lack of womanizing skills that inspired his “art”.

      Jun 5, 2011 at 9:20 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
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  • #11   ligercorn

    Looks like someone got tired of drawing dics in elevators.

    Jun 5, 2011 at 7:17 pm   rating: 55  small thumbs up

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    • #11.1   TickleMyBambo

      The submitter should at all be offended by this idiot, especially since he didn’t draw any dics on her.

      Jun 5, 2011 at 9:10 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       

    • #11.2   TickleMyBambo

      Correction: Shouldn’t

      By no means was I saying that the submitter should be offended because the guy didn’t draw dics on her. While funny, the idea is just absurd! Garry’s dog has been through enough trauma for one day.

      Jun 5, 2011 at 9:55 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
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  • #12   Doughball

    Seriously? Seriously??

    Jun 5, 2011 at 7:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

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    • #12.1   FeRD bang

      SRSLY!

      Jun 8, 2011 at 4:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
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  • #13   em

    I LOVE the FotC reference. You made my day!

    Jun 5, 2011 at 7:23 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

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    • #13.1   shwo! bang

      “But you’d probably have to keep your day job”

      Jun 5, 2011 at 8:17 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       

    • #13.2   Ndawg

      Ha! I love that too. The first thing I thought was, “You would be the prettiest girl eating a kebab.” I half-expected to see a kebab in the stick figure’s hand.

      Jun 7, 2011 at 5:49 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       

    • #13.3   JT

      She’s the prettiest girl on the street. Depending on the street.

      Jul 2, 2011 at 2:30 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
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  • #14   farcical aquatic ceremony

    As far as I’m concerned, the only excuse for this note not being professionally framed and mounted on her wall is that there’s been some kind of 18-month professional framers strike on about which we in the general public are unaware.

    Jun 5, 2011 at 7:47 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

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  • #15   Hello there

    Typical Miami attitude. I’m a resident, unfortunately. One requires a sense of humor to live here.

    Jun 5, 2011 at 8:39 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

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    • #15.1   Zorin

      I also live in Miami. It’s funny, I’ve heard this place called a “cultural paradise”. I’m pretty sure I must have been drunk and they really said “cultural wasteland” instead.

      Pretty much all the interesting people I meet are in Broward or north of there. :P

      Jun 5, 2011 at 10:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
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  • #16   Canthz_B bang

    I came. I saw. I hit upon. I crashed and burned. I lashed out. I crashed and burned again. I passed out.

    Jun 6, 2011 at 12:31 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

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    • #16.1   TickleMyBambo

      That must have been one hell of a night, CB. Lots of burning and crashing.

      Jun 6, 2011 at 12:41 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       

    • #16.2   Canthz_B bang

      If at first you don’t succeed, fry, fry again. Then tell the girl she isn’t very pretty anyway. ;-)

      Jun 6, 2011 at 12:44 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       

    • #16.3   TickleMyBambo

      You know, you should looks up the song “That Girl Aint Cute” by the artist called Young Blaze. Not only is the song hilarious, but it sums up this note perfectly. I think you’d like it :D

      Jun 6, 2011 at 8:53 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
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  • #17   Ant

    Hah – nobody here as read ‘The Game’ by Neil Strauss, then? This is one of Mystery’s neg-hit gambits.

    Jun 6, 2011 at 3:15 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

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    • #17.1   The Elf

      ….. You mean this would actually work? On WHO? I mean, seriously, who would fall for this?

      Jun 6, 2011 at 8:09 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       

    • #17.2   Canthz_B bang

      Someone who thinks she’d have been hotter if she’d just have kept her tanning appointment instead of taking the time to stop and pee.

      Shorter answer…a dingbat like our submitter who recalls, “I was tipsy enough to be flattered for a moment.”
      Dude just didn’t live in the moment…could’ve pulled that if he was a Playa. He’d know that a woman with low self-esteem is an easy mark! :-P

      Jun 6, 2011 at 9:26 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       

    • #17.3   The Elf

      Yeah, “for a moment”. Surely he’d take longer than that to make his move. If he doesn’t, well, that’s another problem for another thread.

      Guess I’ve just been too long out of the dating game.

      Jun 6, 2011 at 9:46 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       

    • #17.4   Canthz_B bang

      Elf, for a Playa on his game, a moment of flattery is all it takes to slide through that chink in the armor.
      Timing is everything.
      I’m out of the game too, but I remember how it’s played. ;-)

      Jun 6, 2011 at 9:51 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       

    • #17.5   The Elf

      I guess I just have an instinctive gut reaction to “Playas”. If I wanted someone who liked to play silly mind games instead of straight-up starting a conversation with me, I’d date a woman.

      Jun 6, 2011 at 10:28 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       

    • #17.6   Canthz_B bang

      LOL, that’s why I stopped playing years ago… :mrgreen:

      Jun 7, 2011 at 12:17 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       

    • #17.7   Cody

      Yes it was definitely a Mystery Method gambit, though you’re meant to stick around afterwards to have a conversation instead of high-tailing it out the door.

      Jun 7, 2011 at 9:55 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
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  • #18   .

    Straight out of Neil Straus’ ‘The Game’, word for word.

    Jun 6, 2011 at 3:27 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

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  • #19   Grant

    Semi-pretty presumably because a semi is all that was aroused.

    Jun 6, 2011 at 4:32 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

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    • #19.1   Canthz_B bang

      Semi-pretty because she looks like she’s been hit by a semi.

      Jun 6, 2011 at 7:11 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
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  • #20   WMDKitty

    Key word, there: “HIGH”

    Jun 6, 2011 at 9:48 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

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  • #21   Who passed out the Haterade?

    Title: Semi-sentient boy in a bar, Miami 2010.
    Sometimes the gene pool chlorinates itself.

    Jun 6, 2011 at 11:11 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

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  • #22   readit

    this is actually a tactic from the book “The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pick-up Artists ” Basically, the pick up artist pretends to be drawing a beautiful portrait of a girl, then hands over a stick figure. I guess it’s a psychological move, to build the girl’s esteem up then knock ‘er down.

    Jun 6, 2011 at 11:37 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

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    • #22.1   twang

      This is true. The guy is supposed to pretend to be an artist and ask the girl if he can draw her. He then spends ages on the picture while the girl poses and waits expectantly, before the guy delivers his hilarious punchline. This guy clearly didn’t read the book properly.

      Jun 8, 2011 at 6:21 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
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  • #23   Zack

    It wasn’t Mystery Method Gambit, it was a Ross Jeffries tatic. For all those saying it’s creepy just google Ross Jefferies and why it is…

    Jun 21, 2011 at 4:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

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  • #24   WhyAllSoMad?

    why does everybody think this note is that bad?
    except for the semi part

    it think it’s pretty funny and creative way to give a compliment

    Jun 25, 2011 at 10:31 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

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    • #24.1   Excusesofpuppets

      I think you answered your own question there.

      Jun 27, 2011 at 7:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
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  • #25   Nonk

    lol – this is a routine stolen from the pick-up book
    ‘The Game’

    Jul 8, 2011 at 7:30 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

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