I’ll never forget the boy who was showing a birthday card he got from his great-grandfather. When I asked how old the great-grandfather was the boy said, ” Oh, he’s old Mrs. S., he’s even older than you!”

In elementary school for a while I sat by the same tree every day at lunch (it had a mysterious hole in the roots, and was a very pretty tree) rather than sitting with other children, who generally plagued me.

This exchange took place, with a group of kids (who’d treated me poorly when I tried to sit with them) all egging on.

Them: “Don’t you have any friends to sit with?”
Me: “This tree is my friend. It’s quiet and doesn’t bother me.”
Them: “Do you love it then?”
Me: “Sure.”
Them: “If you love it, will you hug it?”
“Yeah! Will you kiss it?”
Me: “Sure.” *hugs and kisses the tree*

They were appropriately impressed and went off and left me alone after figuring out that ragging on me for kissing a tree would have no effect whatsoever. That part wasn’t so weird. What was definitely odd was that my sister, six years my junior, was *still* hearing about it when she went to school there. Apparently, life in the interim was sufficiently boring that the story of the kid who kissed a tree was passed on through five grades and kindergarten.

They still love me though, so I guess I’m doing something right!

Dearest Teacher,

I’m sorry about how our school year together worked out, but I’ve met another…my second grade teacher, with whom I expect a long and lasting relationship.
You’ll always have a place in my heart, please keep your head down next school year and get home safely from each day at the battlefront.

Thank you for yelling at us! Nothing makes my day more than having the weeks lessons yelled out to us by someone whose voice resembles the likes of Gilbert Gottfried. Sometimes I find it kind of hard to keep a straight face when you’re yelling at us in all seriousness with that voice. Not only do I take my knowledge of the lessons you have taught me onwards into second grade, but you also have found a place in my heart that makes you my favorite teacher for unintentionally making me laugh every day. Thanks for the memories! : )”

Thank you for yelling at us. Damn, how we wish our parents would instill some discipline in us like you have, but they just indulge us and let us have our way, so we’re going to grow up to be self-important little prigs despite all of your efforts.

Student