How does a 135° angle sound like a couch?

June 13th, 2011 · 90 comments

If I worked at Steve‘s office, I would definitely be rallying the troops to launch a (non) silent 90° protest of round-the-clock water-glass-filling…and then place “out of order” signs on all the restrooms. (It would be lame, but not as lame as this sign.)

Water Cooler Etiquette

This is not a thing, people! I refuse to acknowledge this is a thing!

related: Is this a thing now?

FILED UNDER: a little uptight · clip art catastrophe · etiquette · noise · office · piss · water


90 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Pit Pat

    Wow.

    Jun 13, 2011 at 11:06 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   Jimmy

    I would also change my email alert to running water and make sure my speakers were on. passive agressive responce x2

    Jun 13, 2011 at 11:07 pm   rating: 68  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   Pun DMC

    I think the “couch” actually refers to the QUIETNESS of a LIBRARY (look, the couch is in a library in the photograph) as opposed to the loudness of urinating…

    Jun 13, 2011 at 11:12 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Pun DMC

      but funny as hell, nonetheless. :-D

      Jun 13, 2011 at 11:13 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Kay

      No, no. I think it actually refers to the QUIETNESS of peeing SILENTLY into a soft cushy sofa. Remember women sit to pee. She’s peeing her pants on that couch. Otherwise it doesn’t make sense. You know, A is to Z as B is to…

      Jun 13, 2011 at 11:25 pm   rating: 203  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   The Elf

      Hmmm, she does look relaxed and satisfied!

      Jun 14, 2011 at 7:04 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   Clumber

      “Did anyone else notice this couch just got awfully warm? “

      Jun 14, 2011 at 5:51 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   FeRD bang

      Ooh, I used to be good at these!

      A is to Z, as B is to… … … ummm… shit.

      (…Wait. What do you mean, that’s right!?!?)

      Jun 14, 2011 at 10:21 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   The Elf

      Is that….. Asparagus?

      Jun 15, 2011 at 6:37 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.7   meg

      …as B is to P

      Jul 9, 2011 at 10:51 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Lupita

    I WISH a dude’s pee sounded the same as a glass being filled in 90° angle.

    Glass being filled: ok sound

    Pee: disgusting. Hello!! The liquid travels more until it reaches the water in the toilet, it’s so loud and ew-y :(

    Jun 13, 2011 at 11:13 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Smedrick

      Travel time of fluid through the air has no bearing on the sound it makes when it hits a surface.

      Jun 14, 2011 at 5:36 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Greys

      Actually, it would. The longer a liquid is in free fall, the faster it would be falling until it reached its terminal velocity. Now, this probably isn’t the only reason behind the difference in water sound and in pee sound, but it would contribute.

      Jun 14, 2011 at 7:39 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   Jimmy James

      No, you just have to rearrange the top sign- they’re saying the sound of the water is “unlike” that of someone peeing.

      Jun 14, 2011 at 8:38 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   makfan

      Well, you ought to work in my office. I used to think that when both doors leading to the mens’ room were propped open it was because the cleaning staff were working.

      I found out recently that one of my male co-workers thinks it is appropriate to prop open both doors while people are in there doing their business. I guess it is too much trouble to open the doors each visit. Nothing like walking down to the breakroom to hear that sound in the hallway. Ick.

      Jun 14, 2011 at 1:04 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   Sean Jungian

      What? Why? I’m having a hard time understanding this 2-door setup…

      Jun 14, 2011 at 6:19 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.6   FeRD bang

      It’s called an airlock, perhaps you’ve heard of them. (That was sarcasm, perhaps you’ve… never mind.)

      A useful architectural device for separating two adjacent spaces, and greatly diminishing (vs. a simple single-doorway setup) the permeability of both environmental vagaries — temperature differences, smells, etc. — and embarrassing/unwanted sounds. With just a single door separating two spaces, they’re effectively merged for however long the door’s opened each time.

      Effective unless, of course, some yutz takes it upon himself to go and defeat the airlock’s protections. Say, by forcing both doors open simultaneously.

      (Given the context, this could even be a well-meaning attempt to address other common bathroom complaints/hangups… Like wet & contaminated door hardware that’s been slimed down by previous bathroom visitors with questionable standards of hygeine.)

      Jun 14, 2011 at 10:44 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.7   Team Redhead

      …or if you think someone might have *peed* on the door handles.

      I’m looking at YOU, CB!

      Jun 15, 2011 at 9:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.8   Canthz_B bang

      Damned peeping perverts…

      Jun 16, 2011 at 11:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.9   makfan

      FeRD has it correct – you open the first door and enter a foyer, then open a second door to the actual restroom.

      I can see some issues with wet hands, etc., and there is no trash can near the final door to exit into the office to throw your towel. Of course, most people seem to prop open the inner door and leave the outer door close, so that doesn’t explain the door propping.

      I think it’s a bit weird and very much lazy to prop open both doors except for cleaning time.

      Jun 18, 2011 at 11:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Kay

    Office Sign Etiquette

    Thumbs down for any office sign at the water cooler that depicts urination.

    ———————————-

    What next, a sign in the cafeteria that depicts defecation?

    1st image: dropping dollops of food onto your plate *this* way, sounds like this [followed by image of pooping]

    2nd image: dropping dollops of food onto your plate *this other* way, sounds like this [followed by image of couch]

    Jun 13, 2011 at 11:17 pm   rating: 128  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   farcical aquatic ceremony

      FYI, Kay, you’re just KILLING it on this note!

      : )

      Jun 14, 2011 at 6:45 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   makfan

      Portland Oregon decided to drain a water reservoir because they caught a drunk guy peeing in it on closed circuit cam.

      Jun 18, 2011 at 11:35 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   SP

    That picture is so hilariously disturbing and wrong on so many levels. Love the Like/Unlike buttons. Wow. This person has WAY too much time on their hands and really needs to have a job working from home.

    Jun 13, 2011 at 11:20 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   TickleMyBambo

      I wish there was a “Bicth slap” button to click.

      Jun 13, 2011 at 11:42 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   The Elf

      If facebook had a bitch slap button, I would join.

      Jun 14, 2011 at 7:05 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   FeRD bang

      If you joined, I’d use it to bitch slap you ’til your ears un-pointed!

      Jun 14, 2011 at 10:48 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Laura

    I think the first states that a 90 degree angle sounds like peeing on the back of a couch and the 45 degree angle sounds about as quiet as sitting down on a couch peeing.

    Jun 13, 2011 at 11:20 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   pony girl

    Okay, people, you can’t just make shit up.

    Emily Post would tell this sign-maker to piss off.

    Jun 13, 2011 at 11:31 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Canthz_B bang

      Well, to piss off to the side a little…cuts down on the noise.

      Long stories… :roll:

      Jun 13, 2011 at 11:49 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   FeRD bang

      Since you’ve broached the topic, though…

      Am I the only one who, late at night or during other “quiet time”, starts to gets all self-conscious about urinating too loudly? So, I try to aim for the bare ceramic above the waterline, instead of into the water itself, to keep the noise down. And then, sometimes, realize I’m probably getting at least as much splashed back on my shins, as is staying in the bowl. :oops:

      Jun 14, 2011 at 10:55 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   FeRD bang

      The really crazy bit, BTW, is that I live alone. So there’s nobody other than me who’d even hear my toilet activities. With the possible exception of anyone who happens to be right outside my apartment — the hallway and bathroom share a wall.

      …Doesn’t stop me from closing the bathroom door whenever I use it, either.

      Jun 14, 2011 at 11:04 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   Canthz_B bang

      FeRD, me too, but I aim at the bare ceramic in the back or on the side…spares the shins.

      Jun 14, 2011 at 11:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   FeRD bang

      Ooh, see! No fair! Your toilet is toilet-shaped!

      They make me use this crazy deformed-bowl one, There’s just a single expanse of bare ceramic that presents a realistic target, and it’s this huge ceramic beach that dominates the entire front portion of the bowl! :-(

      I bet the stupid thing even has a stupid model name, like the “ShinSprinker 3000″. Curse those ShinSprinkler bastards!

      Jun 15, 2011 at 11:32 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.6   Somebody Else

      FeRD, you thoughtful guy you!

      Keeping the noise down, keeping the door closed …

      Tell me that you leave the seat down too, you little charmer. Such a man should not be living alone!

      Jun 19, 2011 at 12:31 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   TickleMyBambo

    I could make a game out of this. By filling the cup and then turning at a 180 degree angle with the cup tilted at 45 degrees , if done at the right moment the resulting sound effects would be the loud splashing sound of water hitting the note writer at 0 degrees, point blank, in the face. automatically earning you 100 points. An Extra 100 points if you can make the water sound like someone peeing on the couch upon impact of the note writers face.

    Jun 13, 2011 at 11:32 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   AuntyBron

      An extra 200 points if you crush the glass into the face.

      Jun 13, 2011 at 11:46 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Canthz_B bang

    I for one will take this to heart.

    I now know that I can quietly pee on a library couch as long as I poured my drink down the side of the glass.

    Jun 13, 2011 at 11:45 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   jadefirefly

    I’ll get hung up on the actual angles when I get over the fact that the first thumbs-down says UNLIKE.

    Jun 14, 2011 at 12:26 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   The Elf

      Good catch! Unlike is ungood.

      Jun 14, 2011 at 7:06 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   Melba Toast

      The reason it says “unlike” is because Facebook does not – and refused to implement – a “dislike” button. If you click “like” and then click it again, FB says you have “unliked” something. Zuckerberg is a tool.

      Jun 14, 2011 at 8:25 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   FeRD bang

      You do realize that undoing a “like” really is something completely different from “disliking” it, tho… right? What would you call it?

      (Hopefully you also realize that the “dislike” — or any type of “negative feedback” — has been shown to be complete poison in a social media context. It’s not implemented because it’s a terrible, terrible idea that would turn Facebook into the sort of river of steaming bile that is a typical YouTube comment thread. …In fact, I’ll point out that even our very own P-AN uses a positive-only feedback system. Perhaps they’re on to something?)

      Jun 14, 2011 at 11:13 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   Mrs.Beasley bang

      I second FeRD’s comment. The “unlike” button means “Disregard my inadvertent ‘like’ vote.”

      An actual “dislike” button, however, could be more appropriately labeled “Haters press here.”

      Jun 15, 2011 at 12:50 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.5   Canthz_B bang

      Agreed, Kerry tried the dislike button some years ago and decided to remove it. It seems you can’t trust people to be impartial critics, so now you either like it, leave it, or actually make your negative comment known in writing.
      No more anonymous negativity.

      Jun 16, 2011 at 12:29 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.6   Nobody special

      But, wait, if the “like” button shows up next to things you don’t “like” yet and “unlike” next to those you already liked…

      Jun 22, 2011 at 1:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.7   Canthz_B bang

      No take-backs. Sorry.
      Indian-giver is probably politically incorrect these days, huh?
      Be that as it may, make up your mind before voting. The polls are closed to you afterwards.

      Jun 23, 2011 at 3:04 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   James L.

    And the bubbles that form inside the water bottle when using the water cooler sound like the sound of passing gas while in the bathtub.

    Perhaps this sign can be amended to add a third picture.

    Jun 14, 2011 at 12:55 am   rating: 33  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Daniel

    Whoa, whoa, whoa …. you can pee while standing up?

    Jun 14, 2011 at 2:06 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   berge bang

      Yes, but only if you pee at a 90 degree angle.

      Jun 14, 2011 at 3:29 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   Somebody Else

      And I think you cannot be shaking hands either … unless you’re a dog … something like that …

      Jun 19, 2011 at 12:38 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Simon

    Soundless micturation – advantage #94 of a colostomy bag.

    Jun 14, 2011 at 3:22 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Canthz_B bang

      Ha! Colostomies are far from silent. I worked at a surgical supply store some years ago, and there was a guy with a colostomy bag who’d stand in front of my desk with his bowel contents gurgling along while the clerk gathered up his ostomy supplies.
      Made me want to puke. I don’t think I produced any invoices faster than I produced his.

      Catheters are quiet though. ;-)

      Jun 14, 2011 at 6:10 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Pxmidnight

    So am I the only one who sees little blue heads coming out of the faucets?

    Jun 14, 2011 at 6:00 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   The Elf

      Yes. What, exactly, is in *your* water?

      Jun 14, 2011 at 7:07 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   Krista

    What bothers me most is the angle claiming to be 45 degrees, when it’s clearly apx 135 degrees.

    Jun 14, 2011 at 6:02 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   David

      Nice catch!

      Jun 14, 2011 at 8:40 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Party in my pants

    My guess is that hearing the sound of water hitting the glass at 90 degress makes him WANT to pee. He can’t get any work done if people keep drinking water because he keeps having to go pee. I suprised he had time to create such an intricate sign.

    Jun 14, 2011 at 6:12 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   berge bang

      Whatever his reason is, the solution is not to make this ridiculous sign. The solution is to MOVE THE WATER COOLER.

      Jun 14, 2011 at 3:30 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   anglophile

    Clearly none of the people who work there spent much time operating the keg in college. Once the correct angle for pouring a headless glass of beer is learned, it carries over to other pouring opportunities.

    Jun 14, 2011 at 6:28 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Canthz_B bang

      True. You can always pick out the drinkers in your office by how they pour soda into a glass.
      The angle and the two shakes of the can at the end are dead giveaways!

      Jun 14, 2011 at 7:01 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   TRED

    I am just so very confused.

    Jun 14, 2011 at 7:38 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   SamECircle

    Hello darkness my old friend,
    I’ve come to talk to you again
    (etc)
    And whispered in the sooooound…
    of water going into a glass at a 45 degree angle while a lady pees into a couch.

    Jun 14, 2011 at 7:45 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Chesire Cat

    OCD

    Jun 14, 2011 at 8:44 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   havingfitz

    I’m just trying to figure out why there is a hairy blue testicle coming out of that faucet.

    Jun 14, 2011 at 8:44 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   The Elf

      See, this is why I stopped spiking my coffee.

      Jun 14, 2011 at 10:06 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   Cyus

    Is this really enough to bother someone? Does it really matter that much?

    Jun 14, 2011 at 10:45 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   JenStar

    Do you realize how long it took me to even understand what the f*ck this sign said. People have too much free time to if they are trying to be this “cute”.

    Jun 14, 2011 at 11:46 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Charlie

    The sign poster will be lucky if his/her office mates don’t start peeing in the water cooler itself.

    Jun 14, 2011 at 11:53 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   oi

    Somebody explain this to me.

    Jun 14, 2011 at 12:10 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   unsatisfied

    NOW I understand geometry.

    Jun 14, 2011 at 12:15 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   slipperyslope

    2 things. First, why does the dog only have 2 legs? Secondly, does the pouring of water=peeing only when using a wall as your urinal? Or does this apply to toilets as well? This is necessary information for proper following of the rules, people.

    Jun 14, 2011 at 1:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   Kate from Iowa

      The dog’s got one of his little legs lifted, and is also peeing on the wall. So filling a glass incorrectly sounds like two creatures peeing on a wall, while filling a glass correctly sounds like one creature smugly peeing into a couch. Understand now?

      Jun 15, 2011 at 9:16 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.2   Somebody Else

      Why do you assume the woman on the couch is peeing smugly? What does smug have to do with it?

      And why, dear Lord, did the person on the couch have to be a *woman*? I zoomed, just to be sure.

      All of the elements of the old joke are *there* I tell you … Man standing up? check … Woman sitting down? check … Dog on three (ok, two) legs? check … It’s starting to remind me of a Rorschach test … Must stop looking …

      Jun 19, 2011 at 12:52 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   johnnyboy

    Wow indeed. This is a sure sign that whatever company it’s from is going to the dogs, if people working there have enough free time to be bothered by the sound of water (not to mention making the sign itself).

    Jun 14, 2011 at 2:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   berge bang

    I would personally like to work in an office that is so quiet, that the sound of water coming out of a water cooler is the loudest distraction.

    Jun 14, 2011 at 3:26 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   fluffie

    Is there really clip art out there of people peeing on walls?

    Jun 14, 2011 at 3:49 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   DJ

    Technically, on facebook you only see the option of unlike if you currently like something. you only see the like option if you haven’t liked something yet. So technically this says they like the sound of pee and they have not yet liked the silence
    nice one

    Jun 14, 2011 at 6:08 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   grammar nazi

    “unlike”?

    isn’t it supposed to be “dislike”?

    Jun 14, 2011 at 7:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   Lindsey

      You have just become aware of the bane of many peoples’ social networking existance: There is no dislike button on Facebook.

      Jun 15, 2011 at 8:44 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.2   grammar nazi

      I dislike this.

      Jun 15, 2011 at 10:45 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   _Liz

    “Excuse me, but you’re filling your water cup incorrectly. If you tilt it like so, you’ll keep people from thinking you are urinating in the hallway.” “Oh. Okay.” I guarantee you this person has many MANY other signs they wish to hang up… but they’re a little too weird.

    Jun 15, 2011 at 1:26 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   M L

    I think my favourite part of this sign is that it claims to depict “water cooler ETIQUETTE”… i.e. everyone should obviously know the correct way to pour water, and people who don’t are ignorant, uncouth, and rude.

    It’s not like, “oh hey here’s my personal pet peeve ok guys” (although, granted, that sign would still be ridiculous)

    Jun 15, 2011 at 4:59 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   MsJules bang

    Do people really need illustrations to tell you how to fill up a cup? Shoot I’d think all the gossip at the water cooler would be far more annoying then just the sound of a few tinkles of water.!

    Jun 15, 2011 at 5:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   NIKI

    Kids these days apparently have a lot to worry about.

    Jun 16, 2011 at 10:05 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   Bcteagirl

    The officemates need to pitch in for a water feature for the office. Whose in?

    Jun 18, 2011 at 12:32 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   Fred Furz

    Actually, many guys like to drop a meaty fart when they’re taking a leak. That’s another water cooler sound effect for you.

    Jun 21, 2011 at 1:22 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   blart

    “If I worked at Steve’s office, I would definitely be rallying the troops to launch a (non) silent 90° protest of round-the-clock water-glass-filling…and then place “out of order” signs on all the restrooms”

    And yet it’s supposedly the person who made the note who has a problem? Sheesh.

    Jul 1, 2011 at 3:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   Jay

    I would simply set my eMail alert to the following link:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYsq4fqbMG8
    and have my speakers waaay up.
    On a side note, I want my water to sound like a couch, that I find amusing.

    Jul 11, 2011 at 10:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   Joe the Cigar Guy

    You find the sound of WATER offensive?
    Good thing the planet’s not covered with it! Wait, WHAT?!

    Jul 15, 2011 at 8:45 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   Emaline

    “Unlike” is when two things are not similar! “Dislike” is when something is not liked! Get it right!

    Jul 15, 2011 at 11:30 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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