This physics lesson was posted in the communal kitchen of Oxford University’s department of psychiatry.
“You would think that these people would be masters of communication,” our submitter says. “Evidently, not so much.”
![A lesson in Newtonian Physics: If a spoon is washed in water, something it is very right and proper to be done, it still has residual water on it, unless dried. If the spoon is placed on the draining board concave side up, gravitational force causes the water to sink into the concavity forming a puddle that is dependent on evaporation to remove it. If a male (it could only be a male) uses the bepuddled spoon to make himself coffee, water may get into the coffee tin and cause aggregation of the grounds which are hygyroscopic. This is given by these equations which are examples of a chaotic system (a Henon map) [equations] The solution to this problem is possibly too complex for members of this Department, but requires people to leave spoons convex side up.](http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2318/5824002603_b918944f98_b.jpg "A lesson in Newtonian Physics: If a spoon is washed in water, something it is very right and proper to be done, it still has residual water on it, unless dried. If the spoon is placed on the draining board concave side up, gravitational force causes the water to sink into the concavity forming a puddle that is dependent on evaporation to remove it. If a male (it could only be a male) uses the bepuddled spoon to make himself coffee, water may get into the coffee tin and cause aggregation of the grounds which are hygyroscopic. This is given by these equations which are examples of a chaotic system (a Henon map) [equations] The solution to this problem is possibly too complex for members of this Department, but requires people to leave spoons convex side up.")
In Australia, meanwhile, it seems they prefer not to beat around the bush* — at least when it comes to wet spoons.
related: The Ph.D’s approach to air conditioning units
*bad pun intended
47 responses so far ↓
#1
Allthatglittas
I like how the Australian note became a community message board
Jun 14, 2011 at 10:07 pm rating: 24
#2
FeRD
Yes, but none of this answers the burning question: where do Australians prefer to beat… around?
Also, what’s up with this burning sensation? Is there perhaps some sort of cream I can get?
“…Why is my suit so big? Couldn’t they have taken it in a little at the store?”
Jun 14, 2011 at 10:17 pm rating: 2
#3
Quite Contrary
A male makes coffee for himself? What alternative universe is he from?
Jun 14, 2011 at 10:29 pm rating: 33
#4
TickleMyBambo
I guess the Aussies don’t like to beat around the bush with a wet spoon.
Jun 14, 2011 at 10:56 pm rating: 7
#5
TickleMyBambo
I get the feeling Miss “Newton” (Cause it could only be a female, it has to be a female!) is not a major supporter of using a wet spoon to scoop out ice cream. *Sigh* too bad the laws of gravity can’t help to work the stick out of this individuals stuck up butt.
Jun 14, 2011 at 11:11 pm rating: 13
#6
TippingCows
Something it is very right and proper to be done, convex me in the moonlight after work on Thursday. Wet my spoon, dirty it, and dip me in your sugar. Ooooooh, honey baby … I LOVE YOU ALL!!!
Jun 14, 2011 at 11:25 pm rating: 18
#7
Mrs.Beasley
I diagnose the Oxford psychiatric department’s post to be an aspergerian attempt at wit.
The Aussie jar would get the sucrose monkey off my back right quick, considering there appear to be dark granules where I would expect only white.
Jun 15, 2011 at 12:39 am rating: 8
#8
JR
The Oxford psychiatrist is not as clever, witty or grammatical as she thinks she is.
Jun 15, 2011 at 2:49 am rating: 20
#9
Grant
Of course, that’s not the only solution. Putting them into a glass handle end down would work as well.
Jun 15, 2011 at 4:06 am rating: 3
#10
The Elf
“Bepuddled”? That totally makes the note for me. People, this is the word of the day. Try to use it at least once. As in “Someone peed in the water cooler, the bepuddled catch tray is nasty.”
But don’t google it.
Jun 15, 2011 at 6:49 am rating: 16
#11
Eileen
That first note is a whole herd of teal deer. (TL:DR, otherwise known as too long, didn’t read.) Why does it take the note-writer forever to get to the point?
Jun 15, 2011 at 7:00 am rating: 1
#12
Nathan
Sorry to break it to the poor sap at Oxford University, but hygroscopy has nothing to do with Newtonian Physics, or even physics at all. It is a chemistry concept.
And the mention of chaos theory, and Henon mapping? Barely relevant. (Note the equations taken verbatim from Wikipedia).
Somebody at Oxford University has way too much time to google things, and a desperate need to sound smart.
Jun 15, 2011 at 7:17 am rating: 11
#13
Elmo
Real people don’t put sugar in coffee.
Jun 15, 2011 at 8:21 am rating: 5
#14
Lindsey
Aussie Note’s comment makes a good point. What ABOUT wet clean ones?
This seems like it would just be easier to offer people sugar packets instead. Community food is usually as gross as the community sharing it.
Jun 15, 2011 at 8:40 am rating: 4
#15
Canthz_B
Wet spooning is hot, hot, hot!!
Jun 15, 2011 at 9:09 am rating: 6
#16
Kate
I dislike the way it seems to have become acceptable to say sexist things against men now.
Why does it have to be a man?
Jun 15, 2011 at 11:39 am rating: 8
#17
James
This is why they invented sugar cubes. (The only drawback is that people get tempted to eat them as candy so more winds up being used.)
Jun 15, 2011 at 1:31 pm rating: 3
#18
berge
I don’t pour water out of the water cooler right; I don’t dry my spoons right – I’M DOING IT ALL WRONG! I had no idea!
Jun 15, 2011 at 5:19 pm rating: 4
#19
Seelie
Or dry your spoon after washing…
Jun 15, 2011 at 11:01 pm rating: 0
#20
Earl Hamsher
a wet spoon in sugar can ruin it by making it a solid lump. however, a wet spoon in coffee wouldn’t ruin the whole canister especially if the lady would just fling most of the water off first. additionally, it’s better to have a scoop specifically for coffee that stays in the canister, not a spoon.
Jun 16, 2011 at 2:00 am rating: 0
#21
Earl Hamsher
p.s.
i would be tempted to just scrawl the word “c$%t” in red marker across the lesson in newtonian physics
Jun 16, 2011 at 2:02 am rating: 2
#22
Iri
wtf is the Hénon map supposed to have to do with water in a spoon?
As that’s part of chaos theory, one can only suppose it’s a veiled slur on the behavior of his co-workers…
I.
Jun 16, 2011 at 7:11 pm rating: 0
#23
English 101
…inTO sugar…
Jun 17, 2011 at 5:56 am rating: 0
#24
barista lifer
huh. i was trying to think of a similar passive-aggressive note just today to put on our sugar bowl at work. people don’t give a crap about the clearly marked clean/dirty spoon containers. grrrr!
Jun 18, 2011 at 9:27 pm rating: 0
#25
Somebody Else
Reminds me of the great toilet paper debate: do you load it so that it comes over the top of the roll or so it hangs down along the wall?
Either solution will work, but the first note-writer (it could only be a female) clearly has a decided preference.
I love how she seems to think that insulting her audience will win their obedience … I’d like to see a graph showing the number of befuddled spoons over time … Bet you a nickel it increased after her thesis was posted.
Jun 18, 2011 at 11:19 pm rating: 0
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