Can you hack it?

June 20th, 2011 · 99 comments

Writes our submitter in Sydney, Australia: “There’s one guy in our office who comes from a cultural background where a good hearty cough/hack/spit is de rigueur, and he brings that little bit of culture to the office with him. I find it amusing, but apparently not everyone feels the same way.”

Please stop spitting and making loud deep throat noises in this bathroom. It makes me feel sick and is disturbing the work environment. Thank you for your understanding.

But wait, there’s more! Within a few hours of spotting the first note in the office men’s room, our submitter noticed a second one had joined it.

 Please stop making intolerant and culturally ignorant signs and posting them in this bathroom. It makes me feel sick and is disturbing the work environment. Thank you for your understanding.

Now if I only I could snap my fingers and get Mr. or Ms. Water-Cooler Wee-Wee transferred to this office…

related: What is up with the coughing?!

FILED UNDER: hygiene · message to all intended for one · noise · office · rebuttals · spitting

99 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Jessica

    In what culture is hacking and spitting so deeply important?

    Jun 20, 2011 at 9:55 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Guy

      Sounds like he might be Phlegmish?

      Jun 20, 2011 at 10:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   bec

      Possibly someone from South East Asia. It is a superstition that phlegm is evil/unhealthy & has to be expelled. It can cause a clash in cultures as most westerners find spitting the height of bad manners & do not understand the cultural background, in many Australian & New Zealand International Airports there are signs on the bins banning spitting.

      It is explained nicely in this thread.

      Jun 20, 2011 at 10:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.3   Ed Decatur

      During Ramadan, observant Muslims not only avoid eating and drinking during daylight hours, they also avoid swallowing their own saliva. They could carry around a cup to spit into, but more commonly just use the bathroom sink.

      If you work with Muslims and didn’t realize this, then you were culturally ignorant. Now you know better.

      Jun 21, 2011 at 4:00 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.4   OhJessie

      It’s still disgusting. That’s one of the dumbest cultural mores I’ve heard of.

      Jun 22, 2011 at 2:48 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.5   Ed Decatur

      I think all religious practices are dumb. However, I’m also aware that I live in a country with religious freedom.

      Jun 22, 2011 at 11:40 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.6   TheGnome

      Ed, if you’re not kidding, I’m not sure where you got that from. I’ve yet to see any Muslims carry around cups to spit in during Ramadan. Swallowing your own saliva is perfectly fine, swallowing someone else’s is not.

      Jun 23, 2011 at 1:26 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.7   Ed Decatur

      No, I’m not kidding. In my husband’s office, he has had coworkers who carry around spit cups. I haven’t seen that personally, but have seen Muslim women spit in the restroom sink during Ramadan.

      Jun 23, 2011 at 6:20 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.8   pony girl

      Wanting or needing to spit: Understandable
      Just spitting wherever: Rude

      I have phlegm sometimes. I quietly and discreetly spit into a tissue and discard it. Nobody sees me or hears me or sees my phlegm sitting in some public sink or waste bin or sidewalk etc. and they certainly don’t see me walking around spitting into a cup. gross.

      Nobody knows I’m doing it.
      That is as it should be.

      I don’t care where you’re from or what religion you are, keep your body fluids etc to yourself.
      Monkeys fling poo.
      We are not monkeys.

      ps – i grew up in Hawai’i. Lots of Asians spitting all over, usually visitor or elderly. The younger ones or ones born there knew that it was rude and unhealthy to just let fly with your bodily fluids. I always thought it was gross. it was illegal, and if caught they were fined.
      My friend’s grampa did it all the time, she was always so embarrassed.

      Jun 23, 2011 at 6:54 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.9   Iris

      Spend a day in Seoul, Korea and then see if you have the same question.

      Jun 24, 2011 at 9:50 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.10   TheGnome

      Ed, that’s very odd. I have never done or heard of this, and I have never met anyone who has (yes, I do live in an Islamic country). It’s just not part of it.

      Jun 27, 2011 at 5:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.11   livinginChina

      In China, it’s all they do. spit, slurp, and groan. Not even in the bathroom. Wherever they want. A grandmother holds her granddaugther to take a shit right at the exit of a subway car, not even to the side. Trust me, u dont want to have Chinese colleagues… u will be disgusted everyday.

      Jul 7, 2011 at 1:26 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   Mama Wrench

    Yeah, not sure I could cough up the nerve to stand for that, either.

    Jun 20, 2011 at 9:57 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   Sandee

    Oh, my. One wonders what culturally acceptable noises the original poster makes… in the BATHroom, for heaven’s sake.

    Jun 20, 2011 at 10:00 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   GiGi

      Yeah, I would post a note of my own that says “Please stop posting passive-aggressive notes in this bathroom. It makes me feel sick and is very disturbing to the work environment, plus I just want to laugh at you.”

      Jun 21, 2011 at 1:33 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   a-Arialist

      Precisely. If he was hacking and spitting into the bin at his desk I’d say the note writer had a point. The fact that he goes into the bathroom to do it? The notewriter can get stuffed!

      Jun 21, 2011 at 3:46 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.3   Candy

      There is a guy at my work that does this at his desk and it makes me feel sick and disturbs my work environment. As well as the loud deep throat noises and the subsequent spit there is then a soft splat as the expelled phlegm hits the bin. Gross

      Jun 21, 2011 at 10:04 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.4   lungbutter

      Well, Candy, if I could still smoke in the office, like we did for over 100 years in American workplaces until quite recently, then I could soothe my debilitating, painful lungs inside by smoking instead of clearing my airways. Then when I go on breaks I can still briskly walk the half-mile out (and back) to get outside to where I’d normally be allowed to smoke, but just enjoy the sunlight and hack up all the drippy, gooey grey/brown crap across the sidewalk.

      Jul 11, 2011 at 4:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   Seek

    At the risk of sounding culturally ignorant and intolerant, in which culture is it socially acceptable and polite to hack a loogey in a public bathroom?

    Jun 20, 2011 at 10:01 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Team Beasly

      As I propose below, the bathroom is exactly the appropriate place for this kind of biological necessity. So, the short answer to your question– American culture, I guess, and probably others.

      Jun 20, 2011 at 10:08 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   ptamom

      This poster is too sensitive. The bathroom is the place for this all other kinds of gross stuff. I hate going into a stinky bathroom, but am I going to put up a sign that asks others from taking such stinky dumps. I think not. lollollol

      Jun 20, 2011 at 11:09 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.3   FeRD bang

      @ptamom: Sure, but the fact that you wimp out, and don’t post your own notes about everything that bothers you about other people… that’s your weakness.
      It doesn’t diminish the accomplishments of these brave souls, who have the courage to demand that the world change to suit them! Notewriters like these should be celebrated by everyone!

      …In fact, I insist on it.

      Jun 21, 2011 at 1:58 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   liddy bang

    maybe he/she feels the culture of the bathroom was violated by using paper products other than toilet paper and hand towels. Or perhaps the note poster is citing the culture of the bathroom that is supportive of all loud, obnoxious noises in general that make other people sick when heard (don’t make me explain that, you know what I am talking about).

    Jun 20, 2011 at 10:02 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   Team Beasly

    I am just a white American gringo, but I got sneered at in the bathroom for a mucus-clearing session. I refuse to apologize. The bathroom is precisely the appropriate venue for the noisy and offensive expulsion of bodily waste products.

    Jun 20, 2011 at 10:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   puffin

      Your own private HOME bathroom is the only appropriate place for “the noisy and offensive expulsion of bodily waste products.” If you can’t do it quietly, you shouldn’t do it in a public bathroom.

      Jun 20, 2011 at 10:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.2   lagne

      Then, seriously, I’m not trying to be snotty, Puffin, but what do you suggest people do when they have some similar “issue” that needs to be taken care of in an office setting? I’m genuinely curious.

      Jun 20, 2011 at 10:29 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.3   TickleMyBambo

      Puffin, when your body hits a point of having to expulse offensive bodily waste products and you really have to relieve it. How do you handle that problem given your belief that expulsion of offensive bodily wastes is only a at home matter? You can’t just get up and leave work so you can do your buisness at home and to return to work like nothing happened. One gets fired for stunts like that.

      Jun 20, 2011 at 11:01 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.4   Rattus

      I think that my co-workers would be less pleased by my taking an hour a couple of times a day to cycle home, clear whatever cranial orifices need clearing, and cycle back to resume my duties rather than taking five minutes and making a little noise in a room that said co-workers can evacuate should they start coming over with the vapours due to the horrific honking and snorting emanating from the stall next to them.

      Jun 21, 2011 at 7:41 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.5   The Elf

      It’s a bathroom! That is why it is there!

      That is the absolutely appropriate place for biological necessities. If we could all do them all the time at home, they wouldn’t be necessities. Sometimes you just gotta poop, and sometimes that’s going to be stinky and/or loud. It’s just the way it is. Whatever. That’s why you’re in the bathroom and not the boardroom. Sometimes you catch a stomach bug and what started as a normal day became a vomit fest at lunch before you could face a drive home. And sometimes your lungs or sinuses have a little too much fluid and this needs to be cleared. All things considered, I’d rather see someone hawk a huge loogie in the sink (provided they rinse it down) than hear/smell either of the other two!

      The problem is not the biological necesseties. The problem is only when it happens OUTSIDE the bathroom. This PAN writer might have had my sympathy if he was talking about an ordinary cube farm. But a bathroom? It’s just silly.

      Jun 22, 2011 at 6:30 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   Megan

    So.. maybe I’m a bit naive but.. what does not wanting to hear spitting and throat noises have to do with being culturally intolerant?

    Jun 20, 2011 at 10:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   ptamom

      See post 1.2

      Jun 20, 2011 at 11:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.2   Rhoddy

      It’s still f— bollocks, I wouldn’t go to the UAE and eat a big mac in broad daylight in the middle of Ramadan.

      Jun 26, 2011 at 10:25 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   TickleMyBambo

    I don’t see how hacking and coughing in a bathroom could be considered disturbing to the work environment. Now if the guy was doing it in the actual office with everyone around to hear and get sprayed with spit than sure, tell the guy that it’s disruptive and gross and to go hack somewhere else.. But why get on his case fors being considerate to his fellow employees by keeping his cultural lung hacking rituals limited to the bathroom. I can safetly say that his culture probably encourages covering of the mouth and washing of hands afterwards.

    Jun 20, 2011 at 10:14 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   Will Tingle

    Erm… Is it not ‘culturally ignorant’ to move to a country / culture where something you deem ‘normal’ is thought of as disgusting, and yet continue to do it publicly?

    Why is it always the existing members of a society who are expected to be sensitive to cultural differences, and never the incomers?

    Jun 20, 2011 at 10:14 pm   rating: 91  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Charlie

      Since when is anything done in the bathroom considered public?

      Jun 20, 2011 at 10:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.2   puffin

      If its a public bathroom…what you do in there is not private.

      Jun 20, 2011 at 10:24 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.3   bec

      Just to be pedantic as you keep pushing the issue. It is not a public bathroom, it is in an office, therefore a private bathroom. I have seen many signs on office bathroom doors that state “This is not a public bathroom/not for public use” When you work 8/9 hours in an office what are you expected to do when you need to blow your nose, get rid of phlegm, expel gas?

      Jun 20, 2011 at 10:58 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.4   Rhamza

      @bec sarcastically: You are obviously supposed to swallow it or expel it outside in your own private space, namely your vehicle, and hopefully on the way home so you do not contaminate the work space with your lung clearing cultural behavior.

      Seriously: I am not sure what their problem is. When you re either sick, have allergies, or have some build up of mucus/phlegm I completely understand going to the BATHROOM and clearing it out in which ever manner you choose. And if a bathroom is not private, can anyone just open the stall door while you are going #2 to take some toilet paper? No. When the door is closed, it is considered private. Those of you who are talking down about this must have never been sick in your life…or maybe you can just stay home (i.e. no job or nothing important to do…or maybe you just do not give strong importance to those things…). Either way, it is kind of ridiculous…

      Jun 20, 2011 at 11:12 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.5   bec

      I catch the train to work , & I am definitely ruling out carpooling with you Rhamza, imagining the awkward notes now ; )

      Jun 20, 2011 at 11:20 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.6   Who passed out the Haterade?

      Why is it always the existing members of a society who are expected to be sensitive to cultural differences, and never the incomers?

      I’ll answer that if you’ll answer this… why do stories with this moral always seem to take place “here”, and why do stories with the moral of “don’t be such an elitist snob and pretend your culture is superior” always seem to take place “there”?

      Jun 21, 2011 at 5:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.7   Danny

      Just to be even more pedantic, the poster says “our office”, not “my private office and its associated private bathroom”, and therefore the bathroom is not private. What do we call something which is not private again?

      Jun 21, 2011 at 9:14 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.8   Who passed out the Haterade?

      Danny: My guess is “because we like to pretend that since we get to close the door while we’re in there and no one else comes in, that means it’s ours and no one else uses it.”

      It’s the same slightly-schizophrenic coping mechanism that lets us be freaked out that someone spat onto a surface we’re not touching, drinking from, etc… but not be freaked out over the fact that their bare butt has been rubbing up against the same seat we’re sitting on.

      Jun 21, 2011 at 11:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.9   The Elf

      Theoretically, Will Tingle, both sides move a little closer to each other. The newcomer sees that this or that cultural quirk isn’t practiced here and finds ways to tone it down. The residents of the adopted country extend a little social leeway to the newcomer. All is well.

      Jun 22, 2011 at 6:35 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   lagne

    In a previous office job, my office was directly across a narrow hallway from the mens’ room (joy). If you pay attention, you can figure out the offenders. When they go in, get up and close your office door momentarily. Or make that the moment when you run to the breakroom for some tea. Or plug in your iPod (or go buy one).

    I absolutely cannot handle loogey noises – I had to clench my jaw very tightly just to read this note and comments, haha – but if not in the bathroom, then where?

    If anyone has an idea, I’d also like to understand how this is a “culture” issue, ’cause I’m drawing a blank.

    Jun 20, 2011 at 10:17 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Danny

      I had a job where my private office shared a wall with the single-occupancy men’s room. There was a suspended ceiling, and the wall did not extend to the real ceiling.

      More offensive to me than anything was the aerosol cans of SomeRandomSpray that kept appearing in there. I would have to throw away a can or two of those a week; the only thing that smells worse than crap is crap *with about half a can of peachie springtime garbage sprayed essentially directly into my office.* At least the crap was a natural smell.

      I grew up raising cattle and hogs, so my tolerance for poo may be higher than normal. But I still did not seek to renew that contract. :) A couple of my friends there gave me a case of StinkyAirSpray as a parting gift when I left. Jerks. :)

      Jun 21, 2011 at 9:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.2   lagne

      I feel your pain… The spray provided by my office was strawberry-scented. We called it “strawberry poop spray.” I would rather smell straight-up crap than “strawberry” crap any day.

      Jun 22, 2011 at 8:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.3   Gladystopia

      That peach-and-methane combo is the worst thing EVER. I shared an office with 3 colleagues, and since our office was the one next to the single-occupancy bathroom, we got the Daily Miasma–no, that’s not Chicago’s other news tabloid, though it should be!

      Finally we disabled the spray can by confiscating the sprayer part of the can–the little plastic nozzle bit. Instant relief…

      …til the next day, when a new can appeared. Sigh.

      Jun 22, 2011 at 9:26 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   BunnyGalore

    At least the person is doing the gross noises in the bathroom and not in the office or lunchroom. That being said, there WAS a time when people came to this country and tried to fit in. Was that so bad?

    Jun 20, 2011 at 10:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Jessi

      Yes, people came to the U.S. and tried to fit in (“tried” being the operative word), but that didn’t stop others who already lived here from denying them jobs/sticking them in concentration (oops, sorry, “internment”) camps/denying them basic human rights/killing them.

      In addition, there WAS a time when Europeans discovered the Americas and attempted to wipe out the local population.

      Jun 21, 2011 at 5:52 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.2   Canthz_B bang

      Jessi, you got an “A” in Superficial History 100, didn’t you?

      As far a Europeans attempting to wipe out the local population of the Americas, that was mostly accidental {maybe if those devout Catholics had kept something in their pants some of the following wouldn’t have happened} and most Europeans were so sophisticated in germ warfare that they thought the Earth was flat (smallpox came over with Columbus, long before anyone knew of the danger, and most of the native population of North America estimated to have been about ten million I think [don't feel like Googling it, but feel free to do so...try "Pre-Columbian North American population"] was wiped out by that scourge before Europeans really entered the continent proper…before Europeans returned, which is why they thought they’d found a mostly virgin land), but by your revisionist history Native Americans tried to wipe out Europeans by exporting syphilis, right?
      Honestly, I don’t know how one with your point of view could even say Europeans “discovered” America while also saying there were already people here. Didn’t they discover it and Columbus just bumped into it on his way to the East Indies? We don’t need to talk about the Vikings, right? OK.

      You’d have to be more specific about “concentration camp” killings in the US if you’re referring to Japanese, might be semantics, but I find no references to organized killing of internees during WWII (because there were none, hell, if we’d killed them off, not that I think we should have, we would have not have paid reparations {because America is evil}..and all we wanted was 40 acres and a mule with which to work the land, you know, what we were promised and never got. a chance to build wealth for our descendants? they got cash money with no work, and you want me to give a shit for three or four years vs. a lifetime?! just a few years of hardship, not their children sold as chattel), though I know some Indian Agents allowed Native Americans to starve on reservations through their individual corruption many years ago. I don’t think any German or Italian internees were killed during WWII either (lots of people have never heard of those camps, that’s why we study history and try to learn real lessons from it), and certainly none of any national origin were systematically killed in the US, let alone millions of Jews, Gypsies, Soviet POWs and other “undesireables”.
      Are you certain you’re pointing your finger at the right country when making this point?

      The US was what it was, but today it is what it is and Barak Obama is the President of these United States at the current time. Is he in a concentration camp, or at Camp David?

      Learn from the past, try not to live in it.

      Jun 21, 2011 at 8:29 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.3   *snerk*

      Jessi didn’t say that anyone was killed in internment camps. Just that people were stuck there.

      The killing went both ways between the American Indians and European settlers. The romanticizing of the native population before and during the colonial period is just blind and silly. It is undeniable that some Europeans deliberately killed Indians, and that some Indians deliberately killed Europeans. And probably neither side would have minded if the other were wiped out.

      Jun 21, 2011 at 9:52 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.4   oi

      I am on Indians’ side. After all we share a name even though we are as different as North and South. Have bow down to name pride.
      -Indian but not the red one…

      Jun 21, 2011 at 10:37 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.5   Canthz_B bang

      Use of a period or full sentences vs. a slash would help in interpretation, I agree, but I specified the time period before the colonial period…long time between 1492 and 1620 or so (if we’re talking east coast and what we now call “Middle America”of the US, yes? What culture do you think built those massive burial mounds in the mid-west? The Egyptians?) There was one you know, a long time, and disease ravaged the population of continent in those 100 years.
      I’m not romanticizing a thing. just stating facts. I really couldn’t care less, but I think “Indians” killed Europeans because Europeans didn’t respect their rights to live, hunt and fish where they’d always lived, hunted and fished.

      Classic clash of cultures, not a blame game…just an objective view from afar. That and I hate to see history misinterpreted and used to make invalid points…like many despots have done…a lesson from history.

      Jun 21, 2011 at 10:42 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.6   passerine

      Okay, so Jessi (and possibly the rest of the people in this particular thread) fail at critical reading. Read the first sentence: “Writes our submitter in Sydney, Australia”. Why are you all debating immigrants coming to the UNITED STATES learning to fit in (and the various atrocities that were or were not committed as a result) when the post takes place in AUSTRALIA? Good lord…

      Jun 21, 2011 at 11:05 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.7   oi

      look, it’s an internet. It’s your fault if you expect anything other than fun of inane arguments.

      Jun 21, 2011 at 1:05 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.8   *snerk*

      Hey, CB– I didn’t mean to suggest that you were the one romanticizing the American Indians. I know better than that. Jessi’s post was much more in that vein, with the whole “White men ruin everything” vibe.

      But I was really making an editorial aside with that bit. I saw a show in college that suggested that everything wrong with the world was the result of Columbus and the wave of European explorers and settlers coming to the Americas; if not for that, everything would have been A-OK. That kind of thing was what I was thinking of as blind and silly.

      Jun 21, 2011 at 1:20 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.9   Canthz_B bang

      It’s all good, snerk. I’d die without my History Channel, so simple interpretations of a complex history seem to rub me the wrong way.
      Everyone screwed it up in some way, so why point fingers? Just take it for what it was and is. :-D

      Jun 23, 2011 at 2:46 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   Sigh

    In a lot of Asian countries the bathroom is where you deal with mucous. It’s better than having someone in the cubicle next to you hacking into tissues and throwing them into the bin. Now, that is disgusting.

    Jun 20, 2011 at 10:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   JetJackson

    The note writer must be an expat living in Sydney and just doesn’t realise that it’s culturally acceptable here to get deep-throated in the office bathrooms.

    Jun 20, 2011 at 10:28 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Jessi

      Oral sex is acceptable in Australian office restroom offices?

      Jun 21, 2011 at 5:54 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.2   Jessi

      Please forget the word “offices” exists in my previous comment, and pretend “restroom” is plural…

      Jun 21, 2011 at 5:56 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.3   Canthz_B bang

      Oral sex is acceptable (and greatly appreciated) in just about any, no…every locale, Jessi. :-P

      Jun 21, 2011 at 7:55 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.4   JetJackson

      It only becomes unacceptable if you get caught.

      Jun 21, 2011 at 7:01 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   iSnotamachine

    Until I had sinus surgery, I was doing the same. If I didn’t, I would literally choke on it. So, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. And I’m a (southern) lady!
    PS I think he may be referring to a redneck culture.

    Jun 20, 2011 at 10:32 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   Lauren

    Why is no one taking the obvious cheap shot and making jokes about loud deep throat noises?

    Jun 20, 2011 at 11:11 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   meri

      What do you mean, Lauren? I’m sure it would take All the Presidents Men to figure that out.

      Jun 20, 2011 at 11:26 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.2   Canthz_B bang

      You mean “The Big Lewinsky”? She should have just swallowed like a good little intern.

      That’s right, suck it up and move on, girl…if not, go to the local dry cleaners for cripe’s sake. A proper Presidential souvenir is a damned pen, but I’d feel kind of a glow inside if someone saved a little of my ejaculate…just for old time’s sake…as long as it’s not frozen, that could end up being for long time’s $ake.

      Jun 21, 2011 at 12:36 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.3   JetJackson

      I went for the cheap shot :D

      Jun 21, 2011 at 1:36 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.4   Canthz_B bang

      Bill went for the long shot and it was a swissshh, would have been a great shot too…were it not for that dribbling!! :-D

      Jun 21, 2011 at 2:57 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.5   Canthz_B bang

      Hey, Monica, wanna go out for shots after work?

      No, I’m going up to the Oval Office…I’m going to get a facial.

      You’ve been doing that a lot lately. Does wonders for your complexion, but they need to use a larger bib. Your dress is stained every time.

      Jun 21, 2011 at 3:04 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #16   Canthz_B bang

    If they’re coughing and hacking, they aren’t doing “Deep Throat” correctly, but practice makes perfect.

    Jun 21, 2011 at 12:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   bec

      It takes a lot of practice to turn off that gag reflex.

      Jun 21, 2011 at 12:44 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.2   Canthz_B bang

      LOL, I’m not even going to ask…but if you’re still working on it…!! :lol:

      Jun 21, 2011 at 2:51 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.3   The Elf

      I asked Woodward and Bernstein how they did it, but they wouldn’t tell me.

      Jun 22, 2011 at 6:41 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #17   Buck

    There are cultures where going to the bathroom outside is de rigeur because of lack of plumbing but I don’t think we want to encourage that behavior too. There is such a thing as taking “cultural sensitivity” a little too far.

    Jun 21, 2011 at 2:17 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Bec

      Yeah I don’t think that being poor & not having plumbing is a ‘cultural’ thing, I think it is an unfortunate circumstance that many people are born into, but not something they choose to do for ‘cultural’ reasons.

      Jun 21, 2011 at 10:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #18   Pam

    Maybe it’s a girl thing, but I have never felt the need to hawk, hack or spit up mucus. Not sure where I’d go to do it if I did, but I’d probably try to pick someplace out of earshot & view of others. I never got the “cultural” behavior of guys who feel they are tough if they hawk up a big loogie and spit it in the street in front of you. Yuck!

    Jun 21, 2011 at 2:48 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Canthz_B bang

      Are you insinuating my wife is not a woman? I’ve never heard such godawful sounds in the morning as when she clears herself of the nightly mucus orgies that must go on inside her sinus cavities!
      Some nights I can swear I hear the band playing in there, and know it’s going to be an entertaining morning! LOL

      Jun 21, 2011 at 3:14 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #18.2   The Elf

      I think you’re just lucky, Pam.

      Jun 22, 2011 at 6:42 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #19   Canthz_B bang

    Please stop taking baths at work.
    It makes me feel sick and is disturbing the work environment.

    Say what? There are no bathtubs in there?

    Never mind, damned lavatories!!

    Jun 21, 2011 at 5:00 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #20   Slerte

    It’s not necessary to make a lot of noise about it. It’s possible to clear your throat quite quietly if you try.
    (I may have learned that from a past life as a smoker)

    Jun 21, 2011 at 5:18 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Jorpho

      Yes indeed. I never make much noise when clearing my throat, and I don’t see how making an echoing call would improve the process.

      And indeed, some of those tiled bathrooms have astonishing acoustics when it comes to noises like this. The submitter might well be able to hear the noises from some distance from the restroom.

      Jun 21, 2011 at 9:31 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.2   Danny

      I like to make throat clearing noises when I take a dump. It’s all the same tube, after all, and the noise is just a show on either end.

      Jun 21, 2011 at 9:32 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #21   katie k

    Team First Note all the way.

    Jun 21, 2011 at 6:41 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #22   Nunavut Guy

    You office dwellers sure have a lot of issues.

    Jun 21, 2011 at 6:55 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #23   lettuce

    Agreed that the bathroom is the only logical place to do this.

    But it still can be annoying to the larger world, because most bathrooms aren’t soundproof.

    A few years ago, my office was right across the hall from the men’s room. I worked in the computer science department at a large university, and we had a ton of people from Southeast Asia around. Thus, guys were *constantly* hacking up a spitwad in the bathroom, and thanks to the great acoustics, I heard every. Single. Last. One. It really was very gross and very distracting.

    But I dealt with it by putting in earbuds, not putting up bitchy signs, obviously.

    Jun 21, 2011 at 9:33 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #24   Grumpy "Manners" McGrumperson

    Yanno, civilization tenuously exists through the tacit acceptance that certain things will be politely ignored. One such thing is bathroom noises.

    If someone cannot accept or deal with the social conventions necessary to peaceful cubicle coexistence, one should perhaps consider moving to a shack in the woods somewhere, where the necessities of others are no longer an issue.

    In other words, shut up and deal. My lord.

    Jun 21, 2011 at 9:46 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #25   Meh

    Funny how despite the notes being written by different people, they manage to be in the exact same font and font size. Just seems weird to me.

    Jun 21, 2011 at 10:48 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   *snerk*

      Deliberate, maybe? It’s not hard to figure out a font.

      Jun 21, 2011 at 1:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #26   poffles

    I personally HATE that noise. It literally makes me angry and although I know that’s quite an irrational reaction to a bodily function, I see it as unnecessary to be so loud about it. The bathroom is the correct place to do it, however as others have said before it’s quite easy to do it discreetly. Better yet, find out why you have an unusually high mucus build up and get it sorted. Offices aren’t always a winding labyrinth with the bathroom in a complete other realm of the office building; noise travels easily in tiled rooms and are likely to be heard by colleagues in the area, if it were me I’d be mortified if people could hear me doing that.

    I also don’t understand the references to cultural intolerance. Being from another culture doesn’t give you the right to be gross.

    Jun 21, 2011 at 3:26 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #27   Turkey Vulture

    It is super effing gross to hear somebody else hack up a gigantic lunger in your place of employment. And yes, bathrooms are often not soundproof. I think Original Note Writer has a good point. If this is going on all the time, it’s disruptive and icky. However, it’s happening IN THE BATHROOM, so what are you going to do? I think the best response from Note Writer #2 would have been, “Sorry, I can’t help it. Would you rather I did this at my desk?” instead of his jerky comeback about cultural insensitivity.

    Jun 21, 2011 at 4:24 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #28   berge bang

    Note writer needs to stop working in the bathroom.

    Jun 21, 2011 at 6:11 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   The Elf

      But he does his best thinking in there! Where else is notewriter going to be productive?

      Jun 22, 2011 at 6:43 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #29   Johanna

    Wait. So, when I go into this room put into place to accomodate the semi-private excretion of bodily matter, I’m not supposed to make any of the noises accompanying said excretion? I mean, jeez–coughing/hacking/spitting is way less disgusting than someone loudly and malodorously defecating, yet no one but a real straight-up a-hole would post a sign in a restroom asking others to refrain from crapping.

    Jun 22, 2011 at 11:54 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #30   sarah

    i live in seoul, south korea, and i hear this every day. it ranges from mildly offputting to once being so bad that, i was hungover, the noise was so repulsive that i actually vomited in my mouth. seriously. it is changing though, and it’s generally only really older people who do it. this is the absolute worst thing about the country, but i would hardly say this is ‘culture’, it’s just an accepted habit that thankfully is becoming less and less acceptable. nobody should have to hear that at work. i never do this and don’t walk around spending the day wishing i could cough up an 80 decibel loogie.

    Jun 28, 2011 at 9:04 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #31   Nola

    this is so gross -green face-

    Jun 28, 2011 at 6:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #32   Tim Drake

    That is the most disgusting fucking thing ever. I hate when people do this and would start a campaign of hate if that was what needed to happen.

    Intolerant and culturally ignorant because people need to stop fucking spitting in public areas? I think not.

    Jun 30, 2011 at 6:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #33   blart

    “culturally ignorant?” what a dumbfuck.

    Jul 1, 2011 at 2:56 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #34   Maryann

    This isn’t really about sensitivity to a cultural issue. It’s about sensitivity to a biological issue.

    And the place where we all take care of daily biological issues is the bathroom. Would he rather the guy do this in the office while he’s trying to work?

    Jul 18, 2011 at 10:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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