I’m probably more than a little biased when it comes to determining whether or not Alan in Seattle — the writer of the note below and self-appointed Lord of the Laundry Room — is, in fact, an ass.
For one, even though I know the scent of fresh laundry is actually thanks to evil chemical compounds and not “mountain breeze” or “spring rain,” I still kinda love it. Of course, I don’t live in an apartment directly above a laundry room. Instead, I live in an apartment surrounded by chain smokers. And while I hardly enjoy the smell of cigarettes, I’ve managed to deal without threatening to confiscate my neighbors’ Marlboros and replace them with bottles of bubble solution. (I also keep my windows shut.)
What say you, troublemakers? Is Alan wrong? Or is he just an asshole?
related: You’re not wrong, Walter
298 responses so far ↓
#1
47of74
Maybe I am an ass???? Computer says yes!
Jun 21, 2011 at 8:24 pm rating: 125
#2
Erin
Request a different apartment already! Jesus.
Jun 21, 2011 at 8:25 pm rating: 122
#3
angela
Alan’s lucky he’s NOT my neighbor.
Jun 21, 2011 at 8:26 pm rating: 39
#4
Lindsey
This would only make the child in me put 1 sock and 1 box of heavily scented (and cheap!) fabric softener in each dryer at 10:30PM. Better yet, maybe a box of fabric softener sheets and a can of tennis balls! Alan, you ARE an ass!!
Jun 21, 2011 at 8:27 pm rating: 211
#5
Sliverbane
Perhaps a ventilation duct is broken and needs to be fixed? Oops, wait its much easier to tell everyone in my building to not use products they bought on their clothes….my bad.
Jun 21, 2011 at 8:28 pm rating: 69
#6
Abby
What an asshole. He has no right to demand or throw away other people laundry detergent. Maybe he should ask his apartment manager if he can move to a different apartment when the next one is vacated. If he can’t handle scented laundry products he should not be living in an apartment with shared laundry.
Jun 21, 2011 at 8:30 pm rating: 111
#7
Tracy
Alan please move …. Oh and yes , you are an ass…. I will make sure I buy the most smelliest soaps and start my laundry at 9:55 pm ! Sincerely ….. Am I being an ass? Lol
Jun 21, 2011 at 8:33 pm rating: 27
#8
Jake
Um, yeah, it sure seems like moving would be in order.
Jun 21, 2011 at 8:33 pm rating: 13
#9
jenny
he’s an ass.
Jun 21, 2011 at 8:35 pm rating: 16
#10
Precious&Reckless
Sorry, he’s an ass. I for one love the smell of Gain laundry detergent. Sorry you don’t like it, I don’t like when my neighbors dog sh-ts on the tree in front of my apartment, leaves it there to bake in the sun, and allow the fumes to waft into my living room. But I deal with it as should you. You’re not allergic, the smell is not causing you to vomit or convulse or become short of breath so deal with it, Princess. Or, ask to switch apartments so you’re not above the laundry room. Get over it.
Jun 21, 2011 at 8:37 pm rating: 43
#11
Swaggyp
Yep. Hey asshole buy a house and you won’t have this issue.
Jun 21, 2011 at 8:37 pm rating: 21
#12
Dawn
Definitely an ass. He doesn’t own the launry room.
Jun 21, 2011 at 8:38 pm rating: 18
#13
j
wtf? he is out of his mind
Jun 21, 2011 at 8:38 pm rating: 10
#14
katie_2256
Pretty sure you can’t just throw away someone’s possessions, or shut off the dryer just ‘cos it’s bugging you. Definitely understand where he’s coming from, but I hate people who think they have the right to do jerky stuff back.
Jun 21, 2011 at 8:39 pm rating: 44
#15
Mark
Ass
Jun 21, 2011 at 8:39 pm rating: 7
#16
dissipatedfog
He’s an ass. If he’s the building manager, then he’s an ass who has a little bit of power that’s gone to his head. Actually he better be the manager if he thinks he can shut the laundry room at any time he wants. If you live in an apartment building you WILL be inconvenienced about something at some point and that’s life, so suck it up.
Jun 21, 2011 at 8:42 pm rating: 46
#17
jen
dude, you need to move to a different apartment.
Jun 21, 2011 at 8:44 pm rating: 4
#18
betsy
he’s an ass. he probably smells like ass as well.
Jun 21, 2011 at 8:44 pm rating: 20
#19
mennorose
I’m gonna go with “he’s an ass” unless he actually has chemical allergies that make him sick. (There are many people for whom that’s the case.) But if he has allergies, he should tell people that rather than just complain about the smell. And maybe not live above the laundry room to start with….
Jun 21, 2011 at 8:48 pm rating: 28
#20
anon
I would love to live in that apartment.. constantly smelling nice clean laundry smells. Like alot of the people I’d be pretty tempted to spend a few bucks on the cheapest most fragrant stuff and start up the laundry at 10:30 :p
Jun 21, 2011 at 8:49 pm rating: 19
#21
Mrs.Beasley
Wait… what??!!
Jun 21, 2011 at 8:49 pm rating: 3
#22
Divvitar
This ass needs to buy a house.
Jun 21, 2011 at 8:49 pm rating: 7
#23
tishi
he is an ass… and that is like moving in by train tracks, then being pissed that ppl have the nerve to take the train!
Jun 21, 2011 at 8:49 pm rating: 26
#24
MissKitty
Asshole
Jun 21, 2011 at 8:50 pm rating: 5
#25
AMoparGirl
I’d say put nothing but a whole box of dryer sheets in after 10. That’d be a quiet load.
Jun 21, 2011 at 8:52 pm rating: 35
#26
braedyn
Welcome to apartment living, alan.
(Who obviously doesn’t think highly enough of himself to capitalise his own name.)
Jun 21, 2011 at 8:54 pm rating: 14
#27
Chicon
He’s an ass. Full stop. I am allergic to the fragrance additive that’s in everything, so scented detergent/fabric softener is high on the list of things I avoid. I wouldn’t dream of asking everyone in my small complex to adjust their personal behaviors because of my problem. I would, however, consider not accepting an apartment over the laundry in the first place. Or explaining to management when signing the lease that I would need to move to the next open apartment as soon as one became available. This guy is ridiculous.
Jun 21, 2011 at 9:00 pm rating: 39
#28
Hannah
He’s so wrong. Laundry is not an offensive smell. Alan should seek psychological help.
Jun 21, 2011 at 9:03 pm rating: 7
#29
BunnyD
What an arrogant, whiny, pussified twerp. He needs a slap. He thinks he can throw out a ten dollar jug of Gain and not have someone retaliate? I am looking forward to his upcoming screed regarding unsolicited pizzas, magazines and flaming bags of poop.
Jun 21, 2011 at 9:05 pm rating: 27
#30
Emma
I also live in an apartment surrounded by chain smokers…and I am horribly allergic to cigarette smoke. But the whole complex smokes, practically, so I live with it by putting air purifiers everywhere and making sure my windows and doors are sealed properly. Get over it, Alan!
Jun 21, 2011 at 9:06 pm rating: 21
#31
Danny
That last sentence is not a question. Dumb + ass.
Jun 21, 2011 at 9:07 pm rating: 2
#32
George P
Definitely an ass.
If someone was doing laundry at three in the morning and the noise was loud enough to keep him awake, then, yes, he’d have a valid complaint. The smell of laundry detergent, when he lives above the laundry room? Sorry. Live with it or move.
Jun 21, 2011 at 9:15 pm rating: 8
#33
Seanette
And just when does he think second-shift workers among his neighbors would be able to do their laundry? It’s not at all uncommon for me to need to run a load at 11pm or later to accommodate something DH needs urgently (and he gets home at 10:30pm!), since I have to be at work at 8am, so can’t run it in the morning.
I also have the “neighbors who smoke outside and smoke gets in” problem. I use fans to blow it back out or close my window. I also have to deal with noise from upstairs and next door. This is called “apartment building life”.
Princess needs to suck it up and either grow a pair and learn to cope with reality or move. Wonder how many neighbors screamed to management about this note? (I certainly would!)
Jun 21, 2011 at 9:16 pm rating: 26
#34
Aylsa
I understand the not running the laundry after a certain time, most apartment buildings have a rule like that (for the same reason you’ll get yelled at if you have your music too high), but he definitely shouldn’t demand that people stop using the laundry detergent that THEY prefer (or can afford, as it would be in my case). Either way, don’t people usually leave their laundry soap in their own apartments? I know I did.
Jun 21, 2011 at 9:20 pm rating: 12
#35
anon
Majority rules. The entire apartment building shouldn’t have to accommodate one person’s scent preference. If he doesn’t like the smell, he should GTFO. Go buy a house, get a washboard and a laundry line, and live in your own fragrance-free paradise.
Jun 21, 2011 at 9:25 pm rating: 18
#36
haley
I’m not going to say he’s an ass. Sure the turning off the machine after 10pm is pretty self indulgent but the basic complaint regarding the smell is pretty understandable (think of all of those smells combines, ick). I don’t use scented things, so maybe I have a camaraderie with the guy. I would think he would be MUCH better served by contacting the landlord and requesting better ventilation in the laundry facilities.
Jun 21, 2011 at 9:36 pm rating: 5
#37
thelma
Chances are, he’s paying a bit less to live above the laundry room than the others are to not, so he really has no right to complain. If he didn’t figure out it was going to be a problem when he first looked at the apartment, then he should wait out his lease and move. Looks like the building manager needs to sit him down for a little chat.
Jun 21, 2011 at 9:37 pm rating: 10
#38
scott
I also can’t stand all those fragrances. Buy “Unscented.” Hard to believe that it’s unanimous here that he’s an ass, cause I’m on his side all the way.
Jun 21, 2011 at 9:41 pm rating: 8
#39
Dooble. D Dooble
I’d support Alan; that’d be really fu*king annoying to have sickly sweet laundry conditioner smell in your apartment all day long.
He’s asked a couple of times and is prepared to give people a couple of months to change….I think that’s a legit way to do things.
Commenters here are always gonna be against him – we don’t come to passiveaggresivenotes.com to see nice logical balanced messages – we come here to laugh at people so it’s not suprising to me that most people here think eh is being an ass. I bet that if we all had to spend a day in his place with that smell around, we’d be sick of it too.
Jun 21, 2011 at 9:42 pm rating: 7
#40
Maaaanda
Oh lord.. this reminds me of the neighbors that I had.. the wife always used that stuff that smelled like oven-fresh cookies AND lavender (or something like that). I hated it! The smells mixed and were so sickly sweet! And I didn’t even live above the laundry room.. I was across the courtyard! I didn’t complain because she was the one that had to wear/smell the atrocities. I just learned her schedule (Thursday I think) and reminded myself to never go outside during that!
Jun 21, 2011 at 9:49 pm rating: 6
#41
Garry
I have a feeling Alan is responsible for the smell getting worse since he asked multiple times. He should talk to the landlord about moving instead of just discarding products, lol…
Jun 21, 2011 at 9:57 pm rating: 12
#42
DS
He’s an a$$hat.
I want my clothes to smell like a hooker’s panty drawer and there’s nothing he can do about it… switch off my laundry or take my detergent/softener and I will pump a 55 gallon drum of it into your apartment…promise.
Jun 21, 2011 at 10:03 pm rating: 22
#43
Gabe
Seriously, I can’t help it. I’m violently allergic to artificial scents, and I would pour an entire bottle of scented detergent down his front door. What an ass.
Jun 21, 2011 at 10:04 pm rating: 33
#44
oi
Dear Alan,
Are you fucking kidding me? You fat, c0ckscka!
Sorry. Sopranos lingers longer than you’d think.
For the record you are an ass, dumb one at that!
Jun 21, 2011 at 10:06 pm rating: 4
#45
Assy McAsserton
The Asses have it!
Jun 21, 2011 at 10:07 pm rating: 7
#46
Nicole
Aye aye. I’d just love for him to have to read our comments.
Jun 21, 2011 at 10:14 pm rating: 6
#47
Jess
would anyone else be tempted to put a load on at midnight with nothing in the machine but cheap men’s deodorant as washing liquid and a tennis ball?
Jun 21, 2011 at 10:22 pm rating: 9
#48
Ashlee
I used to lived under these people with two little kids who stayed up really late and it sounded like they had the home version of Dance Dance Revolution and they liked playing it at 2am. But I didn’t leave them ass-hat-ish notes saying I was going to drug their children or throw them in the dumpster. Alan is an ass.
Jun 21, 2011 at 10:43 pm rating: 17
#49
FeRD
This note’s been near-universally flamed to death by now, but I’m still stuck on how he thinks it “does not seem too much to ask”! SRSLY?!?! (…But, of course, I know he is serious, because he assumes that he has to repeat the request only because, “some resist or forget and maybe I did not ask some newer members.”)
Along with the previous note, these are clearly people who have arrived at a completely different model of the social contract than I learned. I was under the impression we should all attempt to impose on others as little as possible.
People like Alan and bathroom-bitchy seem to think that rule only applies to other people, and not themselves.
Jun 21, 2011 at 10:49 pm rating: 24
#50
Rachel
I used to live in an apartment directly above the laundry room. I NEVER got any laundry smells in my apartment and I was NEVER disturbed by any noise. I worked midnights at the time, so I did my laundry in the middle of the night on my nights off and I never got any complaints about creating noise. Maybe that building was built better than Alan’s is, but really. And anyway, who leaves their detergent in the community laundry room? This guy is batshit insane!
Jun 21, 2011 at 11:32 pm rating: 7
#51
RavenMcCoy
Who died and made Alan laundry king? I’ve seen a TON of notes on here about people crowning themselves with completely bullshit power (throwing away co-worker’s mugs, that sort of thing) and it drives me INSANE. You are a fellow tenant (or in the case of the mugs, a peer) and you have zero power to do the things you’re threatening to do. You’re not a manager, custodian, landlord, or mommy. What you’re talking about is theft.
I agree that Alan is probably paying less to live in a less-desirable unit, so he can suck it up. I lived in the basement of my dorm two rooms from two laundry rooms, and I never found the melange of smells offensive. It really, altogether, just smells like “laundry” and I thought it was pleasant.
If he threw away my supplies, I would demand reimbursement and buy the same damn thing, or smellier, repeat. If he stopped my laundry, I would eventually tattle to the building manager and make it his problem — if Alan won’t listen to me, he’ll sure as Hell listen to his landlord when he is instructed to stop being a petulant five year-old and learn to live among other reasonable adults.
“I will give everyone two months…” ARE YOU SERIOUS, ALAN. You do not have the power for such demands. ASS.
Jun 21, 2011 at 11:57 pm rating: 22
#52
AuntyBron
Dear alan,
If you wonder if you’re being an ass you’re the biggest ass looking for a reason to be an ass.
Thank you
Your Mountain Fresh Neighbor
Jun 22, 2011 at 12:02 am rating: 8
#53
Lauri
Ah, exactly the kind of thing that makes me glad I own my own home. Other people’s noise, etc. used to drive me crazy so I did us all a favor and got my own piece of quiet, odor-free heaven where I can use my surround sound without fear.
Jun 22, 2011 at 12:04 am rating: 7
#54
jenthehen
OK, that letter would drive me to paper his door, hallway floor and walls with stinktastic dryer sheets. Then, I’d have to stalk Alan so I could watch when he did his laundry so I could put stinky stuff in it. I’d have to find his car and put some dryer sheets in the vents. Yeah, this guy is an asshole and sometimes you gotta fight asshole with asshole.
Jun 22, 2011 at 12:12 am rating: 14
#55
Earl Hamsher
I think everybody in the complex should complain about this guy turning off machines and stealing soaps even before he does it.
Jun 22, 2011 at 12:54 am rating: 14
#56
bmn
What an absolute cockbite. It would be so so so hard not to slip dryer sheets under his door, or mail some to him so that his mailbox smells like mountain spring pine rainfall, too.
And the one time someone took my laundry out of the machine it was in (and dumped it on the floor!) and left a note on there saying “what kind of asshole does laundry at 11pm?” was the time I got a free month of rent from my landlord, along with being reimbursed for both loads (the first money, wasted, and the second amount, to re-wash my clothes).
It’s a 24-hour laundry room, asshole. That means I can do my laundry whenever I damn well please. Don’t like it? Don’t live next to/above the fucking laundry room.
Jun 22, 2011 at 1:26 am rating: 32
#57
Buck
Sounds like somebody needs to find a little eviction notice on their door.
Jun 22, 2011 at 2:00 am rating: 5
#58
naomi
he’s an ass who should ask for a suite away from the laundry room.
Jun 22, 2011 at 2:23 am rating: 2
#59
Grant
He could do a bulk deal with Ecover or one of the other companies.
Jun 22, 2011 at 4:39 am rating: 0
#60
clivechristy
I am rarely spurred into commenting on the notes here, because mostly they are pissy and juvenile or smarmy and patronizing….but this one, well this one takes the cake. I live in a condo building, and part of that is accepting certain things. I don’t always like the food that everyone cooks or a variety of other things, but it’s none of my business and I accept it as part of the give and take of living with others…part of the social contract. This guy, is astonishing because not only is his message patronizing but it’s also bullying and threatening, like he is in charge of the laundry room because he lives above it. He has also left himself open to a future of pain and suffering because anytime laundry is stopped or liquid gone missing, he will be getting the blame. Antisocial dickweeds like this, think that somehow they have more rights because of proximity, but they forget that they are part of the same social contract we are all signed on to. He is an ass and a bully as well as presumptuous asshat.
Jun 22, 2011 at 6:01 am rating: 32
#61
poffles
The detergent smells must get tiresome after x amount of months/years of smelling them, but that doesn’t give him the right to dictate what other people do especially since they’re not actually doing anything wrong.
I’m sure it’s more likely he’d get kicked out of his apartment rather than making it the smell-free haven that he’s so hoping for. If I were a residential manager I’d be furious about one of my tennants threatening other paying residents, stealing their belongings and touching electricals that I’m guessing he doesn’t really have permission to do. When I had the displeasure of using a shared washing machine (just the one machine, not even a proper laundry room) I was pretty much disgusted by other people’s discard for simple hygiene but what can you do? They’re paying to use it too.
If I were his neighbour I’d complain about him until something was done either way, and carry on doing my laundry the same.
Jun 22, 2011 at 6:59 am rating: 6
#62
AnonyReader
Oh, he’s an ass, and an entitled one at that. It doesn’t seem to cross his mind that there are people who have a reason for using scented laundry products. My 11-year-old son is starting to smell like a man, and you can be darn sure I want that smell out of his clothes when I wash them – Alan be damned.
Jun 22, 2011 at 7:34 am rating: 6
#63
Ashley
Hmmm, as someone who is allergic to the scented stuff (and gets terrible headaches from the smell of it), I can’t help but applaud the Lord of the Laundry Room, ass or not!
Jun 22, 2011 at 7:46 am rating: 3
#64
Nope
Seems reasonable to me. Personally I have a few inconsiderate neighbors in my building. One of them likes to have their TV/computer/or whatever at ear-blasting volume all hours of the day (you can hear it as soon as you walk in the building). Another (who lives next door to them) smokes God knows what that is quite possibly one step away from smoking pure feces as it smells horribly awful and seeps into my apartment on a fairly regular basis. I have to spray down my entire apartment with air freshener when they smoke as it is that bad. They also insist on playing ear-blasting reggae music all hours of the day. The other one who lives on the other side of me has taken up the bass guitar apparently and seems to think that the whole building wants to hear him as he has it hooked up to an amp for hours at a time. Amps are for concerts, not for practicing in your paper-thin-walls apartment, jerk.
Jun 22, 2011 at 8:15 am rating: 5
#65
Gabel
He’s an ass hole. You live in an apartment.. Get a grip on reality. If you dont like it move, but thats part of livinfg in one.
Jun 22, 2011 at 9:16 am rating: 8
#66
havingfitz
I once shared an apartment wall with a woman who played the song “Sweet Dreams” over and over again all day, every day. While after a while I did have visions of hunting down The Eurythmics and stuffing them into a blender, I chose the less-aggressive option and moved. Alan has absolutely no right to dictate how or when people do their laundry: buy or rent a house if you can’t accept the fact that living in an apartment means living with things you don’t like or can’t control.
Jun 22, 2011 at 9:28 am rating: 10
#67
Dustycelt
maybe?!?!? MAYBE?!?!?!? Dude, it’s makes you a raging assclown!!! Maybe Alan should consider asking to move to a different apartment in the building. I’m sooo sorry that most detergents/softners/dryer sheets don’t live up to his “refined” sense of smell but he can just suck it! *walks away grumbling* the nerve of some people…..
Jun 22, 2011 at 9:42 am rating: 3
#68
Kim
The way he says “I’ve asked numerous times for all to comply . . but some resist” is really disturbing. This guy is a complete ass and is probably mentally imbalanced as well. If I lived there I would send a copy of that note to the apartment management. This guy is way out of line saying he is going to shut machines off and throw people’s detergent away and management needs to address that with him. He also needs to realize that using scented laundry products is the NORM. Most people like them and use them. Using unscented products is the EXCEPTION. He is the EXCEPTION and everyone should not have to accomodate his preference, as it is in the minority.
Jun 22, 2011 at 9:47 am rating: 22
#69
Canthz_B
TO ARMS!!! TO ARMS!!! THE BORG HAVE ENTERED SECTOR ONE!!!
“We have come to regulate your use of scented laundry products. Resistance is futile.”
Jun 22, 2011 at 10:04 am rating: 15
#70
Lynda
what an ass hat. I say superglue his doors and window shut while he is home and then wash massive loads of scented laundry…Or better yet, wait until he is washing a load and he leaves, then add some scented stuff to it (skunk mayhaps?) and finish the load.
Jun 22, 2011 at 10:33 am rating: 4
#71
Lori
The only thing I agree on is the time. I used to have a neighbor who did her laundry at 3:00 am! She also couldn’t balance a load to save her life. There should be some respect between neighbors. The whole smell issue is HIS problem. Shut your window, buy an AC. Shut the hell up.
Jun 22, 2011 at 11:16 am rating: 3
#72
Sammi
Ass. Ass. Mega ass.
If it’s such a problem for precious little Alan then why doesn’t he go out and buy new detergent for everyone?
Also, Alan, throwing away people’s property will either get you
a. a broken nose or;
b. a visit from the po-po
You’re not cute and your threats of stealing and destroying peoples’ belongings should be enough for your neighbors to have you kicked out by the building management.
Go shit in a hat.
Jun 22, 2011 at 11:41 am rating: 10
#73
Evie
I for one love my scented detergent. The smell of lavender or vanilla makes me feel happy. I honestly couldn’t give two sh*ts what a total stranger thinks about it; they’re my things, and I will derive as much enjoyment out of them as I can.
Alan – move, or buy an air purifier, or suck it up. Even if you have allergies, that is not my problem. I am not required to make myself uncomfortable or unhappy on your behalf. Especially when you are a raging douchewangler.
Jun 22, 2011 at 12:35 pm rating: 11
#74
OldPandaDayz
This guy is a total ass. I also happen to live near the vent for our building’s laundry facilities and the occasional scent of “spring rain” is the least of the problems I have when leaving my windows open. I prefer it to the general scent of exhaust fumes from the nearby intersection, or the smell of garbage which also gets dragged out by the building management through the basement door underneath my window. That’s all in addition to the usual sounds of urban living including the 10 or so police cruisers that fly down the road from the nearby police station every day. Get over it Alan!
Jun 22, 2011 at 12:42 pm rating: 6
#75
Yvonne
Mmmmmmmmm….Natures Garden’s Island Fresh Gain
Jun 22, 2011 at 12:44 pm rating: 0
#76
Kim
he should have written a polite note, not DEMANDING that anyone change and THREATENING to throw out their stuff but REQUESTING the use of non-scented detergents due to his allergies, etc. And then buy a couple of bottles of unscented detergent to leave in the laundry room for everyone to use which would be replenished as needed. That might actually work to an extent, and buying the special detergent for everyone to use to accomodate his preference would be a nice gesture of goodwill.
Jun 22, 2011 at 1:36 pm rating: 9
#77
Trish
I hope whoever took this photo took the note to building management.
Jun 22, 2011 at 1:47 pm rating: 6
#78
allergic2alan
I’m among the people who are highly allergic to synthetic scents like in most laundry detergents, too, but I have to agree with the “Alan’s an Ass” crowd. It’s not my right to tell others how to live just because I have a problem, it’s my job to figure out how to live with it. If I went anywhere NEAR as far as Alan, it would be a polite note explaining my allergy & my location & (again, politely) asking if people would consider using less stinky soaps.
If they didn’t want to comply, I’d ask to move as soon as another apartment were available. Other people do not exist to serve my needs or Alan’s. He doesn’t need to be a flaming douchebag about it.
Jun 22, 2011 at 1:50 pm rating: 17
#79
olive
That’s pretty rude. He should request to be moved to a new apartment.
Jun 22, 2011 at 2:08 pm rating: 3
#80
billybob
If this guy unplugged my washer at least I would know what apartment he is in so i can kick his ass.
Jun 22, 2011 at 2:15 pm rating: 8
#81
Anon
Ass might be a little strong, but he’s definitely delusional if he thinks he’s going to get people to give up their laundry detergent. Also, the reason they put those evil chemical compounds in there is that they work. People who use the lame-ass unscented and enviro friendly crap smell like B.O.
Jun 22, 2011 at 2:39 pm rating: 13
#82
Chesire Cat
Ass. Don’t live right above the laundry room if you are that sensitive to noise or smells.
Jun 22, 2011 at 2:55 pm rating: 4
#83
Anon
Wouldn’t spend a day in his place because I don’t hang out with ASSES (except real ones, of course – the kind that bray)
Jun 22, 2011 at 2:56 pm rating: 3
#84
Late Night Laundry
Alan’s lucky he doesn’t live in my building. I work odd hours; hours which force me to do ALL my laundry after 11 PM. I feel no shame whatsoever about this, and if an “Alan” ever walks into my laundry room intent on sabotaging my laundry, they can expect to have a bottle of fragrance-laden detergent upended over their head.
Jun 22, 2011 at 3:02 pm rating: 7
#85
Clumber
I really <3 the fabreeze-scented laundry soap.. i'd dive buck-nekkid into a pile of fresh laundry from that or some with regular scented Bounce. Homer Simpson donut-themed quote of your choice goes here
But… sighhhhh… but my dearly loved one is fabulously topically allergic to pretty much any sort of scented laundry product at all. So we don’t use any. So I guess what I am saying is.. umm.. alan, you Ass, may I rent a few hours in your apartment during the heavy laundry-use times please?
Jun 22, 2011 at 3:32 pm rating: 6
#86
Army of Words
Until today I had no idea that so many people hate the smell of scented detergents and such, so much that they would consider someone who does their laundry with them to stink. Do you people use scented deodorant? Shampoos? Does every artificial smell affect you in this way? How about perfume? I ask because I’m curious, not trying to be snarky.
Jun 22, 2011 at 3:39 pm rating: 5
#87
Amy
I’m pregnant and smells bothered me for a while. I got some of the unscented detergent and around that time I noticed that clothes were not getting clean at all. I thought maybe because it was spring, and kids are playing outside more, until I made the connection…that stuff sucks! You might as well just wash with plain water. So YES, Alan, you are asking too much. I’m not going to let my clothes get stained because you are a sensitive, entitled ass. Apartment living can be hard, deal.
Jun 22, 2011 at 3:56 pm rating: 6
#88
Kate
1) Get bent Alan
2) The laundry room was there before you were.
3) I’ll wash my laundry with whatever products I choose.
4) Get bent
Oh, and did I say to get bent?
Jun 22, 2011 at 4:04 pm rating: 14
#89
Kimberly
Eh, i think they’re not entirely out of line. The people in my complex who live next to the laundry room (which has a bunch of acoustic tiling to lessen the noise) complained so much, that you have to be OUT of the laundry room by 9pm, and if the neighbors complain, you get one warning, then evicted. I hate when the people who use the washer before me leave remnants of bleach around the edges or their scented dryer sheets around, as I’m highly allergic to that crap. But it’s hard to find one bedroom places with their own washer/dryer around here.
Jun 22, 2011 at 4:16 pm rating: 1
#90
unsatisfied
aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSssssssssssss
Jun 22, 2011 at 5:35 pm rating: 2
#91
Nunavut Guy
My oh my…..just like the office dwellers with a million issues,you folks sure are a sickly lot.I think a giant dose of peanut butter in the water supply followed by a crop spraying of Fabreeze should thin out most of you.
Jun 22, 2011 at 7:00 pm rating: 18
#92
Jenn
At least he saves a bundle on air fresheners
No but srsly, homeboy needs to move. If he gets a legit doctor note and shows it to the office, they’d probably let him transfer for free.
But he sounds like he’d find something to complain about no matter where he lives. And if some dude threw away my soap I’d probably shank him. If he wants me to go buy the “non cheap laundry soap” he better buy it for me, ’cause that isn’t coming out of my college student budget.
Jun 22, 2011 at 8:28 pm rating: 6
#93
suz
About the scent thing, he’s an ass. One can only assume he knew the laundry room was there when he agreed to rent the place, and if he was especially sensitive to scents, he shouldn’t have moved there.
The time request is more reasonable, I think, though it would definitely be better (and more effective) for him to go to management about that.
Jun 22, 2011 at 10:33 pm rating: 3
#94
easily distracted
Something tells me that when Alan tosses everyone’s stuff he’ll make up excuses to not reimburse them like he promised.
After reminding everyone that he warned them, he’ll insist they prove it was their stuff he threw out, then argue the detergents were used so he doesn’t owe them full price.
Jun 22, 2011 at 10:52 pm rating: 4
#95
fibrowitch
Hey Al –
Have a got a woman for you! She lives on the opposite side of the building from the laundry room. She lives in the back of the building, on the other side of the building as the smoking area. Yet on a regular basis when the mood hits her she will go unplug the laundry machines, or call management and complain that she can smell the smoke on the other side of the building. We live on a beach, she has complained about the smell of the ocean! I tried to point out to her one day that the ocean was here FIRST.
Jun 22, 2011 at 11:04 pm rating: 9
#96
Greg
Sheldon is real!!
Jun 23, 2011 at 2:16 am rating: 4
#97
Madrias
I’d be tempted to go into the laundry room, toss a ratty old towel in the washer, and dump not one, but 5 bottles of absolutely cheap laundry detergent in there. I’d also sit down there and make sure he couldn’t get in there to unplug or turn off my stink-wash. After it washes, I’d then dry it with no less than 3 boxes of dryer sheets. Of course, I’d have to pass it through the dryer a few more times to get all the soap dried out of it, then fold it nicely, pin it to his door, and write on it, “For the ass who thinks he owns the laundry room, I’d kindly recommend you to move to some other apartment. I will continue these towel washes until either you move or provide all the cleaning products for your totalitarian hostile takeover of the laundry room. After all, free stuff is good, and sharing your obviously non-vile cleaning compounds must make everyone’s clothes better. There’ll be another perfume bomb in 3 days. Thanks, the resident next door.”
Jun 23, 2011 at 3:24 am rating: 6
#98
CJ
No, he is most definitely, an ass.
Jun 23, 2011 at 8:46 am rating: 1
#99
sab
yes, he may be a ass BUT some of that cheap laundry stuff smells nasty! my downstairs neighbor uses the cheapest floral dryer sheets and everytime i walk out side and smell it i want to puke!
Jun 23, 2011 at 9:05 am rating: 2
#100
Languagegeek
Y’all 9:55-10:30 laundry starters have got to get it right — Washing tennis balls and pennies starts at 11:25 p.m. (early enough to wake someone up and be annoying, but late enough that the annoyed will have to lie in bed and debate for a few minutes whether it’s worth getting up to turn off).
And the games only begin once you are in possession to the key to the laundry room door. If there is no lock, someone needs to spring for one. Leave the laundry room unlocked during the day (up to 10:00 p.m.). Then give keys to everyone in the building EXCEPT him.
Mwah ha. Mwah hahahahaha. MWAH ha ha ha HA!
These are not the types of challenge you want to issue to me.
Jun 23, 2011 at 9:48 am rating: 9
#101
Kimberly
Whenever I walk down my street someone’s house always smells like laundry. It smells up the entire area. Unlike Alan, I love it and almost want to ask them what products they use so I can buy them.
Jun 23, 2011 at 10:15 am rating: 2
#102
Charlie
This reminds me of people who move next to an airport or sports complex and then complain about the noise. If Alan is senssitive to aromas, he should have done his due diligence on the apartment’s location before moving in.
I have no sympathy for his plight.
Jun 23, 2011 at 10:32 am rating: 4
#103
MargetheSarge
I seriously don’t even understand how so many people can be so wussified. What makes you all so sickly and allergic to everything? We used to call sickly, allergic types “strained through a blanket.” People like that were supposed to be weeded out of the population already!
Jun 23, 2011 at 11:43 am rating: 10
#104
bookworm
Here’s an easy solution for Alan that will make everybody happy! Why not move away from his apartment directly above a laundry room if he is so allergic to normal laundry room scents? Why move in above a laundry room in the first place?
Alan is not just an ass, he is an idiot.
Jun 23, 2011 at 11:52 am rating: 5
#105
KS
There’s no way around it, Alan is, unequivocally, an ass.
Why would anyone who loathes the scents that fill most laundry rooms (and waft into apartments that are above said laundry rooms), move into an apartment above the damn laundry room?!! Common sense should have alerted dear Alan to the fact that this particular apartment probably wouldn’t be the ideal one for him. Noooo, instead Alan feels he has the right to dictate to people how they can do their laundry. What laundry products they’re allowed, etc. Entitlement at it’s finest. Perhaps Alan should relocate?
Jun 23, 2011 at 12:14 pm rating: 6
#106
Miss Kitty Fantastico
I don’t think he’s necessarily an ass, but I’d say he’s more “wrong” than “right” in this situation. He’s being way too demanding of everyone else that lives in the apartment building.
People can’t be expected to always do their laundry around his schedule. Maybe they work nights and sleep during the day. Maybe they get home late and need clothes for the next day. Maybe their cat horked on the bed and they need to wash their sheets ASAP.
As for smelly detergent… I love the smell of fresh laundry. I hate using the scent free stuff, it takes away the tiny bit of fun I get out of laundry.
It does feel like Alan is trying to be a nice guy about it, but the requests are just selfish and unreasonable. If he had such serious allergies, he never should have accepted the apartment.
Jun 23, 2011 at 12:49 pm rating: 5
#107
Jason
Alan would probably try to kill me. I would do the opposite to spite him and make him come down to the laundry room. I’m 6ft7 and 330 lbs and if Alan had anything to say when he got to the laundry room he would most likely forget what it was.
Jun 23, 2011 at 1:28 pm rating: 9
#108
Lili
I didn’t read the other comments, but hopefully this is unanimous: he’s an ass.
I hate the smell of synthetic scents probably as much as Alan. That’s why, if I lived in his apartment, you know what I’d do?
I’d get an air filter or find another apartment.
I don’t care if he’s allergic. Get another apartment!
I don’t care if your kid is allergic. Get another apartment!
Jun 23, 2011 at 1:41 pm rating: 5
#109
mcsarah
You can’t shut if off because it’s bugging you, but every ‘shared laundry’ apartment building I have ever lived in had posted hours that you could use it. Usually ending at 9:30 or 10.
I am sorry for those that work late and need to wash clothes, but just as I am happy to tell this ass hat that he should think about moving if he can’t handle the smells of the restaurant/Chinese family/laundry room/hippy or whatever else might happen to be smelly below him, I am also happy to tell people who NEED to do laundry at 2am to move somewhere with private laundry. Shared living involves having some consideration for others, and that includes following the posted rules if they bother the tenants nearby.
I can guess that I would be VERY irritated if I lived above the laundry room and people did laundry at all hours of the night.
But regardless Alan is an ass and I happen to agree that overwhelming smells in general (hi to you ‘too much cologne wearing guy!) can be gross, although I do like Gain myself.
Jun 23, 2011 at 5:30 pm rating: 4
#110
Eileen
Hey Alan, if breathing in the scent of laundry is such a problem for you, why not just stop breathing? Do the world a favor. Unless you own this building, you do not have the right to control what other people do with their laundry. F*** off and die.
Jun 23, 2011 at 7:45 pm rating: 4
#111
Chris of Seattle
As a person who wears clothes and has used almost every single laundromat in the Greater Seattle area, I must rule that Alan in Seattle is – in fact – an ass.
Scented soaps aren’t that obnoxious – even if you do live above said laundromat. Hell, I live in an attic apartment located in a home that was built in 1912. Needless to say, the floorboards are in need of being sealed – and you know what? I don’t threaten to confiscate Ziplock baggies when my pothead neighbor lights up.
Sometimes we just need to suck it up and deal. Alan – just be happy that it’s ‘Mountain Mist’ & ‘Ocean Breeze’, and not ‘Back Alley Dumpster’ or ‘Urinating Crack Addict’. Also – if I ever use your laundromat and I find my soap missing, I’m coming to find you – and I’m not coming for a chat.
Jun 23, 2011 at 8:10 pm rating: 8
#112
Lauraei
He’s really just an ass. I used to live above a laundry room, and the smell doesn’t permeate that badly. Regardless, he doesn’t have the right to tell others what products people can or cannot use. The point about turning off the washer or dryer bugs me too; some people work funky shifts or work for jobs where they get orders at the last minute that they have to leave town the next day and have to do laundry (my husband was put in that predicament many times, which lead to washing clothes at midnight). I certainly understand asking people to keep the noise level down, but these requests are out of line.
Jun 23, 2011 at 9:21 pm rating: 2
#113
Antonia
The only way Alan is NOT an ass is if he moved to that apartment before they put the laundry room there. If he moved in knowing perfectly well what he was getting into, then he needs to either deal with it or move.
Jun 23, 2011 at 10:28 pm rating: 3
#114
BeQui
Why doesn’t he just buy a bunch of scent free detergent and ask people *nicely* to use that instead? It’d probably be cheaper than paying for replacements of everyone’s detergent, and I’d happily use the free unscented stuff to save a few bucks.
Do they make unscented dryer sheets? I’m not a fan of the smell, but some of my stuff is just super static-y when it comes out if I don’t use them.
Jun 23, 2011 at 11:39 pm rating: 1
#115
Brittany
I live above the laundry room in my apartment and have never heard or smelled anything from it? If I did I would deal with it or move…It is unreasonable to expect everyone to use non-scented laundry products just for one stranger.
Jun 24, 2011 at 12:52 am rating: 4
#116
Yuli
Given the contents of his letter, I think it is safe to assume that the laundry facility is open 24-7. This means that, regardless of Alan’s or anyone else’s laundry preferences, his neighbors are doing nothing wrong. Even if he does have allergies (which doesn’t appear to be the case), the noise/smell issue is definitely his problem, and by extension, management’s problem. If the management won’t do anything, then he needs to move.
So Alan, yes, demanding that everyone in your building change their laundry habits just to suit your whims and then threatening to interfere with those who don’t comply with your completely unreasonable demands does indeed make you an ass. In fact, I think your neighbors would be well within their rights to report YOU to the management. Shutting down people’s washers or dryers while they are in the middle of a cycle? You are the only one doing anything wrong here.
Jun 24, 2011 at 12:06 pm rating: 4
#117
Yuli
I should add that if the laundry facility DOES have posted hours, then yes, I think his after-hours complaint is totally legit. Since he didn’t mention official hours in his letter, I am inclined to think that the “after 10pm” thing is just another royal decree. I myself have never lived in a complex where communal laundry facilities weren’t open 24 hours.
Jun 24, 2011 at 12:19 pm rating: 1
#118
alicia
ok, alan, i am moving to your apartment, with my large load of tennis shoes, and i am goignt o make the washer(s) extermely unbalanced and load them up with all the different soap products i can find. and im going to run them at 11 sharp. and sit there while they do it so that you cant turn them off.
how do you like them apples?
Jun 27, 2011 at 1:43 am rating: 2
#119
wonderman
Alan probably speeds around in parking lots too.
Jun 27, 2011 at 3:59 pm rating: 1
#120
Scarlytte
Oh hey, sounds like midnight would be the perfect time to wash all the TA-50 for a TA-50 layout the following day after being in the field the week prior.
All that clanking, tumbling, and you have to use the strongest smelling detergent you can find or else it’ll smell like burnt rubber and corpse even after washing.
Yeah, I like that idea. Let him try to get all PA with military equipment.
Jun 27, 2011 at 9:47 pm rating: 1
#121
Bcteagirl
Alan,
Thank you for the written confession of crimes you are planning to commit. I have very carefully taken down your note (And I am assume fingerprint specimens?) as potential evidence.
I will be showing the super your threats and keeping the note in case the authorities need to be involved.
If anyone in this building finds their laundry detergent/fresheners missing or their laundry tampered with please contact the super (insert number here) immediately. We will then pass on the note to the authorities so that you can begin formally pressing charges.
Sincerely,
Apartment Dwellers Against Bullying
Jun 28, 2011 at 11:51 pm rating: 4
#122
Rebs
ASS. Really? People are fucking morons.
Jul 5, 2011 at 11:02 pm rating: 1
#123
Scott
What a big baby! So everyone has to switch their laundry products just to make this one crybaby happy? Everyone in the building should get together and find a way to throw this person out.
Sounds kinda like that pussy cousin of Kyle named Kyle on South Park. Always complaining and whining about everything, allergic to everything, can’t digest this and that kind of food. Hypochondriacs. These types are better off dead! LOL
Jul 6, 2011 at 7:49 pm rating: 0
#124
kristin
Way to rent the apartment above the laundry room and assume that at that point forward you are the king of laundry room conduct & usage.
Maybe next time you should consider the location of your unit prior to signing a lease… ASS.
Jul 8, 2011 at 9:39 pm rating: 0
#125
Jay
Dear Alan,
If you have such a problem with the delightful scent of Gain detergents and softeners, please GET OVER YOURSELF!! If you throw away my detergent, I will throw something of yours away, then “reimburse you so you can get something more neighbor friendly.” Also, if I have been at work ALL DARN DAY, and WORKED OVERTIME, and don’t get home before ten, I’m going to do my laundry, because I don’t particularly want to be fired for being at work naked.
Sincerely,
Jay
Jul 11, 2011 at 10:12 pm rating: 0
#126
zelmia
In fairness, it’s quite possible that when Alan took the apartment above the laundry room he simply didn’t know that the smell and the noise would be such an issue. After all, we can’t know what to expect in terms of noise – and certainly in terms of smells – until we actually live somewhere for a bit.
But having said that, even if this guy owns the building, it is completely unreasonable to expect everyone else to adjust their lives for him. He has to know this, hence the “Maybe I’m an ass___”.
Jul 16, 2011 at 3:40 pm rating: 0
#127
liz
Wow, what a dick. It’s usually not too hard to switch apartments in the same building. If he hates that placement so much, well, 1: he shouldn’t have taken the place, obviously. But regardless, now that he has and it’s a problem: Fucking DEAL with it, dude, or GTFO. Living with others is smelly. And noisy. And hell yeah people do my laundry late at night when no one else does; you expect everyone to revolve their lives around you? Grow up, seriously.
Jul 17, 2011 at 3:17 am rating: 0
#128
jennyrose76
I feel like no matter how he feels about scented laundry detergent, and no matter what the reason, he is an indeed an ass. Unless he owns the building, this note and its ultimatums to the other tenants is heavy-handed and cuntish. If you have a problem with your fellow tenants, and you have “asked numerous times for them all to comply” with no results, then go to management.
Grow up. You aren’t a special snowflake, and everyone doesn’t need to bow to your demands-I’m going to go out on a limb and say that he likely wasn’t polite or friendly when making the previous requests either. He doesn’t seem to understand that his needs, on mere merit of being HIS, don’t automatically trump the needs/wants of everyone else. Alan chose to live above a laundry room-if he is THAT sensitive to smells, be it because of allergies or just personal preference, then this was a pretty stupid move.
And just because you don’t like something does NOT give you the right to take other people’s things from a communal area. There are lots of things in my building that aren’t up to my own personal preferences-do I steal them or make unreasonable demands to my fellow tenants? Nope. I chalk it up to apartment living, which is what Alan needs to do. Either that or he needs to find a quiet cabin in the woods, where the smells of the world won’t impede his awesomeness and superiority.
I have nothing but sympathy for people with awful allergies-but I have no sympathy for Alan, or anyone else who thinks the world revolves around them. What a dick.
Jul 21, 2011 at 9:15 am rating: 1
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