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I’m not exactly sure what a “pre-warning” is, but it sure sounds serious.

June 22nd, 2011 · 54 comments

Roslyn in Houston found this note under her roommate’s windshield wiper just over a month after they both moved in. Puzzlingly, she says, “We do not own a rooster, nor have we ever seen or even heard one.”

(In that case, Roslyn, I’d tell your roommate’s boyfriend to pre-watch-out.)

This rooster is a serious problem!!! He is going to get hunted if someone doesn't get rid of him!! Pre-Warning!

related: Cock fight!

FILED UNDER: animal welfare · horses, cows, & chickens · Houston · neighbors · Oops? · warning

54 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Sandee

    Perhaps this will become clear when it’s an actual warning. This was more of a ‘watch’.

    Jun 22, 2011 at 10:36 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   maxswolfsuit

      Yes, the pre-warning is letting you know an official warning is coming. Look out!

      Jun 23, 2011 at 2:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #2   katie_2256

    Pre-warning? I’d say threatening to kill a non-existent rooster was indeed a warning.

    As a side note, does anyone other than me come back to their comment to see if it’s received any thumbs up? A very bad habit of mine, but I get a warm gooey feeling when it has :)

    Jun 22, 2011 at 10:38 pm   rating: 115  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   lagne

      *raising hand guiltily… ashamed of pre-rooster on my face*

      Hehe. My mind is doing dirty things to that phrase.

      Especially ’cause there’s a cock involved.

      Okay, stop it. ;-)

      Jun 22, 2011 at 10:49 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   TickleMyBambo

      This was indeed a pre-warning… A pre-warning for the note writer to start taking their antipsychotic medication, cause surely seeing a non existant rooster flocking about is a sign of help and the fact that this individual might be in posession of a gun to threaten said make believe rooster makes me seriously question the effectiveness of our countries gun control policy.

      Jun 23, 2011 at 12:24 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #2.3   katie_2256

      *basks in warm glow*

      Jun 23, 2011 at 4:27 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #3   Kay

    This is so random, I would have been delighted had I been the recipient! Perhaps I’ll spread some fun by printing out random threats to roosters and putting them on random cars.

    Jun 22, 2011 at 10:42 pm   rating: 40  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   *snerk*

      Let’s start a trend. Everyone print out a stack of notes pre-warning people about a non-existent problem and put them on random cars in your neighborhood.

      I claim hedgehogs.

      Jun 23, 2011 at 9:04 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   pony girl

      aaawwww, hedgehogs!
      okay, I claim platypuses.
      (even if I spelled it wrong)

      Jun 23, 2011 at 10:00 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #3.3   zamm

      LOLOLOL OMG, I claim Mormons.

      Jun 23, 2011 at 9:10 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

  • #4   John Mack

    Sounds like Foghorn Leghorn better head for the hills !

    Jun 22, 2011 at 10:51 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   shwo! bang


      Jun 22, 2011 at 11:05 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

  • #5   Sensible Madness bang

    This pre-warning is a test. The rooster hunters in your area in voluntary cooperation with the Federal Rooster Commission and other authorities have developed this system to keep you informed in the event of a rooster. Had there been an actual rooster, this note would have been printed on red paper with larger font and more exclamation points.

    This concludes this test of the Emergency Rooster System.

    Jun 22, 2011 at 10:53 pm   rating: 87  small thumbs up

  • #6   cindy

    isn’t “pre-warning” redundant?

    Jun 22, 2011 at 11:01 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Limeliberator bang

      I can understand their frustration. My in-laws’ neighbor has chickens and a rooster that he keeps inside a baby pen in his front yard. He moves them around at different times of the day so that they get just the right amount of sun. I’d like to ring their necks. Roosters don’t just crow at dawn if there are hens present, OH NO! They crow ALL THE TIME! And it’s not that they’re just loud..

      Jun 23, 2011 at 1:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #7   shwo! bang

    Now that’s a cock block.

    Jun 22, 2011 at 11:05 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

  • #8   Laura

    I like how the exclamation marks serve as a sort of grammatical countdown: 3 of them, then 2, then just the 1! Gotta admire the artistry in the punctuation.

    Jun 22, 2011 at 11:20 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

  • #9   boxes

    It’s a pre-warning because the recipient is pre-rooster. When they actually get a rooster, then they’ll receive actual warnings.

    Jun 22, 2011 at 11:33 pm   rating: 58  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Canthz_B bang


      Jun 23, 2011 at 12:43 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #9.2   *snerk*

      Put a feather in your cap, boxes.

      Jun 23, 2011 at 9:05 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #10   Leslie

    Never has there been a more inconvenient time to put a note on the wrong car. Obviously, this rooster is in mortal peril and the real owners won’t see it. What a cock of sh#$!

    Jun 22, 2011 at 11:45 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Limeliberator bang

      I really just hate the idea of birds as pets and want to “liberate” them all.. ;)

      Jun 23, 2011 at 1:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #11   Chicon

    I am dying to know what part of the city this was in!!!!!

    My gut response would be to print up several “rooster in peril” posters, complete with clip art – similar to a lost pet sign- and post them all over the neighborhood.

    Jun 22, 2011 at 11:51 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

  • #12   arecks

    You commenters always crack me up – comments are sometimes funnier than the content!

    Jun 22, 2011 at 11:52 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #13   TickleMyBambo

    Well this is just great! First those damn discussing pigs leaving piles of garbage around, and now we have a rooster strutting about in our complex cock a dooing about with the heckling hens from late at night until the wee hours of the morning rudely keeping everyone awake. When will the animal house of madness end?

    Jun 23, 2011 at 12:15 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Nahhh bang

      An ass came through yesterday, complaining about the fowl smell…

      Jun 23, 2011 at 1:13 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #14   Canthz_B bang

    That’s a lot of crap to take over a rooster they don’t even own…some will call that another of my cock and bull stories, but can I get a drumstick when this is over? ;-)

    Jun 23, 2011 at 12:37 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #15   Nanu

    They should be careful. Pre-warning can get them just as warned as full on warning. They should ensure they wear protection throughout all warnable contact.

    Jun 23, 2011 at 1:16 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

  • #16   EmKitteh

    Can’t wait for the warning

    Jun 23, 2011 at 2:08 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #17   Buck

    Perhaps the note writer is Pre-schizophrenic then.

    Jun 23, 2011 at 3:27 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

  • #18   FeRD bang

    Phantom roosters. Why, this note is simply Pre-Posterous!

    Jun 23, 2011 at 5:14 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #19   Kathy

    Note-writer on acid? My best guess.

    Jun 23, 2011 at 5:43 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #20   Lary

    The schizophrenia is a serious problem!!!

    Jun 23, 2011 at 6:00 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #21   Party in my pants

    This must be South Houston…. that is where are the cock fights are.

    Jun 23, 2011 at 6:21 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #22   se

    This is a perfect place to post a response that says:
    “Which rooster are you talking about? I’ve seen at least 4 roosters in this area since we moved in.” That may get an interesting reaction.

    Jun 23, 2011 at 7:42 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

  • #23   Clumber

    I dunno guys… really this note should have been done in clipped magazine lettering… at least the “ransom” font.

    Comes off as barely half-cocked to me.

    Jun 23, 2011 at 8:07 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #24   Roslyn

    This is my submission :) We haven’t had a ‘pre-warning’ since. By the way, this was in Friendswood.

    Jun 23, 2011 at 8:17 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #25   benstep11

    Yeah. They come to snuff the rooster. Oh yeah.

    Jun 23, 2011 at 8:22 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   The Elf

      You know he ain’t gonna die
      No, no, no, you know he ain’t gonna die

      Jun 23, 2011 at 8:44 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #26   Jorpho

    Surely “rooster” is some kind of euphemism for “early riser” ? Maybe the neighbor doesn’t like being woken up by the roommate’s noisy early morning departure?

    Or maybe I still have too much faith in a rational universe for some reason?

    Jun 23, 2011 at 9:24 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   ligercorn

      Or literally someone “roosting” where they should not be? Could be another “Bad Park, You” situation here. But with southern flavor, naturally.

      Jun 23, 2011 at 11:44 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #26.2   Jorpho

      Why, that’s brilliant! An insight worthy of CSI!

      Jun 23, 2011 at 4:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #27   Team Redhead

    You Can’t Kill the Rooster. David Sedaris. It’s nine minutes, but hilarious. His brother referred to himself as “The Rooster.”

    Jun 23, 2011 at 10:09 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #28   Tecboy

    It wasn’t a live rooster — it was the latest in annoying car alarms — This version is the “pre-warning system” for people who approach the car holding obnoxious complaint leaflets.

    Jun 23, 2011 at 12:18 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #29   ClearlyDemented

    Obviously, this is another victim of CrazyCock. I patented this years ago, but never quite got it off the ground. Here’s the script from my failed infomercial:

    Want to have loud sex but live in an apartment?
    *couple shaking head yes*
    Embarrassed when neighbors call management because of noise complaints?
    *half-naked girl answering door to rent-a-cop*
    Then you need CrazyCock! *showing stuffed rooster*
    *confused couple*

    Place CrazyCock at the adjoining wall, turn him on one of three volumes *squeezing jowls three times* and go at it. Not only will the noise confuse and annoy your neighbor, but also enhance the coitus experience for you and your partner.

    The best part is, you can easily get your neighbor evicted or committed as he talks to other neighbors, both in person and through passive-aggressive notes, about hunting fictitious fowl.
    *disheveled man in parking lot, ranting and scaring away neighbors, young and old, then falling to the ground in defeat as initial couple watches from window, turn to each other and kiss*

    Jun 23, 2011 at 12:56 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   Becky Jean

      See, that is EXACTLY what I thought may have been going on. The absence of a legitimate rooster was a dead giveaway.

      Jun 23, 2011 at 1:04 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #30   unsatisfied

    isn’t “pre-warning” kinda like “pre-boarding” for airline flights?

    Jun 23, 2011 at 2:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #31   Zeiger

    Would it be acceptable to pre-slap this guy?

    Jun 23, 2011 at 7:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #32   Eileen

    This reminds me of my vacation in Key West, several years ago. The island is a designated bird sanctuary, so you can’t kill them or hurt them in any way.

    After three days of listening to “cock-a-doodle-do” at five-thirty in the morning during what was supposed to be my vacation, I was ready to hunt the bugger down and kill it!

    I have no idea what to do for nonexistent roosters.

    Jun 23, 2011 at 7:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #33   Mel

    They have a non-existent mental state lol

    Jun 23, 2011 at 10:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #34   old man slang

    I think the writer could be trying to describe a jalopy that is started at the ass-crack of dawn every morning. That would piss me off too…

    Jun 24, 2011 at 12:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #35   Kenzie

    Having been plagued by a mystery neighbour’s rooster for months now, I have to say I really feel for this note-writer. The hellishly annoying early-morning sounds alone are enough to merit a little bit of crazy… but the amount of self-doubt that accompanies the period of time before coming to terms with the fact that you are, indeed, hearing rooster sounds in an urban setting (and not knowing exactly where they’re coming from!) is enough to make anyone snap.
    Trust me. *twitches violently*

    Jun 26, 2011 at 10:16 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   Canthz_B bang

      ♥ I know exactly what that’s like.

      Jun 26, 2011 at 11:07 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #36   Stephanie

    My coworker’s alarm on her cell is a rooster. I wonder if that is the mysterious rooster.

    Jun 27, 2011 at 9:29 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up


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