Death by a Thousand Puns

June 27th, 2011 · 39 comments

Relentless exposure to awful puns hasn’t yet been explicitly singled out as a form of torture, but employees at this office in Australia might be able to make the case that it qualifies as “extreme mental distress.”

Apparently the strategy here was that for every day the kitchen’s cutlery situation went unresolved, up went another note — with progressively groan-worthy puns each time. (It took until “Spatchalator” for someone to cry uncle.)

Please clean up your mess when you're done Thankyou! This includes SPOONS you forkers! Gee...that's not very knife.

Obviously cutlery offends. (I guess that's why my last note didn't last long.) It'd be knife if people started keeping the cutlery clean sometime spoon. Don't forket!!

A message from the spoon police to the sign police: You've been very bowl'd thus far, but things still haven't panned out the way they should have. Spooner or later you'll have to leave the sign here. Spatchalater. Signed: CLLF (Cutlery & Crockery Liberation Front)

related: This vending machine doesn’t work…it just sits around collecting unemployment.

FILED UNDER: Australia · cleaning · kitchen · most popular notes of 2011 · office cop · smartass · spoons


39 responses so far ↓

  • #1   nashley

    They must be sporking pot.

    Jun 27, 2011 at 9:50 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   liddy bang

      you mean sporking smot!!!

      Jun 29, 2011 at 8:48 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Pandora the Hamster

    I actually would enjoy these puns, and keep leaving things out of place just to see the next installment. How far would they go, I wonder?

    Jun 27, 2011 at 9:52 pm   rating: 48  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   park rose

      It’s not over until it’s done over easy, or until the fat ladle sings.

      Jun 28, 2011 at 1:03 am   rating: 73  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   The Elf

      Don’t keep on alert for new ones. A watched pot never boils.

      Jun 28, 2011 at 7:39 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   AuntyBron

      The puns would have been better if they hadn’t put them in bold print. Puns should be subtle and sneak up on you.

      Wait…what?

      Jun 28, 2011 at 11:09 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   Jessica

      They only bolded one…

      Were you trying to make a pun? Because I missed it.

      Jun 28, 2011 at 4:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Shane

    I sink this is terrible behaviour in an office environment. Just a bunch of wet rags.

    Jun 27, 2011 at 9:55 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   park rose

      I think the wet rags are necessary to counter the slopsism – the philosophical idea that only one’s own mess is sure to exist, or rather the art of not being able to clean up after yourself.

      Seem contradictory? Sure. But one mess is only a little mess and can be left to languish a while longer.

      Jun 28, 2011 at 1:13 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Dean Treadway

    Why did they not say “Spooner or plater?” Might as well go all out.

    Jun 27, 2011 at 10:07 pm   rating: 63  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   TippingCows

    T’would be best to exsponge these notes spoon or else some employees may wok out.

    Personally, I think it’s a crock.

    Jun 27, 2011 at 10:24 pm   rating: 32  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Seek

      A ladle courtesy goes a long way. You will acheese grater success in life by cleaning up after yourself. If you can’t respect this rule, we will enfaucet.

      Jun 28, 2011 at 2:43 am   rating: 50  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Valkyrie

    Fork you, fork you, and fork you! Who’s next?

    Jun 27, 2011 at 11:27 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   JetJackson

    Just so long as nobody says “Moving forkward” I promise not to go postal.

    Jun 27, 2011 at 11:29 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   spudmom

    It’s late…let’s table this dishcussion for another time.

    Jun 27, 2011 at 11:30 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   spoonman

    Pretty cleaver.

    Jun 27, 2011 at 11:52 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   ARM

    This is really rather brilliant.

    Jun 27, 2011 at 11:57 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   The Great Joe Bivins

    The Blue Raja got an office job? In Australia?

    Jun 28, 2011 at 12:49 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Mrs.Beasley bang

    These cut-ups should be kitchen hell for their crumby puns.

    Jun 28, 2011 at 4:27 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Unoccupied restroom

    Washer language!

    Jun 28, 2011 at 4:34 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   wow

    PA notes in well-kerned Helvetica with appropriate use of font weights? Been a while since I’ve seen that.

    Jun 28, 2011 at 5:54 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Nick

      I’m one of the two offenders who did these signs. I worked in the advertising department of a newspaper at the time as a designer… thus the typesetting!

      I’m so happy this finally got published!

      :D

      Jun 28, 2011 at 7:37 am   rating: 33  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   The Elf

    Puns are told for the pleasure of the teller, not the listener.

    Never has this been so apparant.

    Jun 28, 2011 at 7:40 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Rattus

    I’m Team Whoever-Tracks-the-Punner-Down-and-Gives-Them-a-Good-Smack.

    Jun 28, 2011 at 8:18 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Chesire Cat

    Oh dear….this was written by the corporate accounts payable Nina speaking lady from “Office Space” wasn’t it?

    Jun 28, 2011 at 8:35 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Harmy G

    That spoon was forking delicious!

    Jun 28, 2011 at 10:46 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Grant

    Careless form costs lives.

    Jun 28, 2011 at 10:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Jaybo

    Dunt. That is the most descriptive word for this poster. More of a contraction than a pun, but it is the most descriptive.

    Jun 28, 2011 at 5:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Pit Pat

    What’s the deal with the “instant boiling water” sign? How is it instant? Just add water?

    Jun 28, 2011 at 5:49 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   park rose

      Sure beats throwing soot in the sky. Though Moses wasn’t too hampered by a lack of modern technology.

      Jun 28, 2011 at 7:40 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   aaa bang

    Uggggghhhhh, so many puns… I think I feel my brain liquefying and dripping out my nose…

    Jun 28, 2011 at 9:23 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   park rose

      Tine after tine you tell us this, aaa . . .

      Jun 29, 2011 at 9:08 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.2   aaa bang

      *rolls around on the ground, foaming at the mouth*

      Jun 30, 2011 at 10:34 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   Squeaky Duck

    so all of you decide to PUNish us with your quips causing PUNdemonium here.

    Jun 29, 2011 at 11:33 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Kimmy

    Does somebody know the name of the lettertype? I really like it!

    Jun 30, 2011 at 10:33 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   seoek

    婆婆、媳妇、小姑,千年不变的三角关系

    Jun 30, 2011 at 10:50 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   The Elf

      Right back atcha, man.

      Jun 30, 2011 at 11:28 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   Cat

    Spatchalater, spatchalater….chicks don’t want to hear that shit, man!

    Jul 1, 2011 at 1:05 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Not Jen

    I want to work there. Badly.

    Jul 3, 2011 at 12:48 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     

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