Entries from June 2011
Jillian and her roommates in Massachusetts recently found this note — which goes from 0 to 60 in half a page — outside their apartment door. At the time it was left, says Jillian: “None of us were home except the dog, who apparently needs to lose weight.”
But hey, neighbor? Even if they had been home, ignoring a knock hardly seems grounds for jumping straight to burning the mail. Apparently it is not a good month for chilling the fuck out.
related: (Don’t Fear) The Creeper
Tags: martyr complex · Massachusetts · mistaken identity · most popular notes of 2011 · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · Oops? · WTF?
Roslyn in Houston found this note under her roommate’s windshield wiper just over a month after they both moved in. Puzzlingly, she says, “We do not own a rooster, nor have we ever seen or even heard one.”
(In that case, Roslyn, I’d tell your roommate’s boyfriend to pre-watch-out.)
related: Cock fight!
Tags: animal welfare · horses, cows, & chickens · Houston · neighbors · Oops? · warning
I’m probably more than a little biased when it comes to determining whether or not Alan in Seattle — the writer of the note below and self-appointed Lord of the Laundry Room — is, in fact, an ass.
For one, even though I know the scent of fresh laundry is actually thanks to evil chemical compounds and not “mountain breeze” or “spring rain,” I still kinda love it. Of course, I don’t live in an apartment directly above a laundry room. Instead, I live in an apartment surrounded by chain smokers. And while I hardly enjoy the smell of cigarettes, I’ve managed to deal without threatening to confiscate my neighbors’ Marlboros and replace them with bottles of bubble solution. (I also keep my windows shut.)
What say you, troublemakers? Is Alan wrong? Or is he just an asshole?
related: You’re not wrong, Walter
Tags: ellipses-crazed · laundry · neighbors · odor · Seattle
Writes our submitter in Sydney, Australia: “There’s one guy in our office who comes from a cultural background where a good hearty cough/hack/spit is de rigueur, and he brings that little bit of culture to the office with him. I find it amusing, but apparently not everyone feels the same way.”
But wait, there’s more! Within a few hours of spotting the first note in the office men’s room, our submitter noticed a second one had joined it.
Now if I only I could snap my fingers and get Mr. or Ms. Water-Cooler Wee-Wee transferred to this office…
related: What is up with the coughing?!
Tags: hygiene · message to all intended for one · noise · office · rebuttals · spitting
This indignant note nearly made Mike [sic] with laughter when he saw it posted in the lobby of his apartment building in Surrey, B.C.
(Oh, those Canadians — so hilarious! Even when they’re not trying to be!)
related: A note from Dirty Lady #2
Tags: bold-underlined-caps · exclamation-point happy!!!! · garbage · grow up · hygiene · neighbors · odor · public shaming · spelling and grammar police
While babysitting her sister’s kids, Allison in Pennsylvania found the card her nieces made for Father’s Day. (Knowing her brother-in-law, she says, “I can understand why they only love him sometimes.”)
related: “Dear Dad, I hate you less than I hate Mom.”
Tags: kids · Moms & Dads
Compared to the notes we usually see about food theft, Steven seems like a pretty reasonable guy. But isn’t “respectful stealing” still something of an oxymoron?
recent: That Outback bread was…
Tags: bread · food · roommates · Seattle · stealing · that's disrespectful
This physics lesson was posted in the communal kitchen of Oxford University’s department of psychiatry.
“You would think that these people would be masters of communication,” our submitter says. “Evidently, not so much.”
In Australia, meanwhile, it seems they prefer not to beat around the bush* — at least when it comes to wet spoons.
related: The Ph.D’s approach to air conditioning units
*bad pun intended
Tags: a little patronizing · Australia · coffee · college life · note wars · office · spoons · U.K.
If I worked at Steve‘s office, I would definitely be rallying the troops to launch a (non) silent 90° protest of round-the-clock water-glass-filling…and then place “out of order” signs on all the restrooms. (It would be lame, but not as lame as this sign.)
This is not a thing, people! I refuse to acknowledge this is a thing!
related: Is this a thing now?
Tags: a little uptight · clip art catastrophe · etiquette · noise · office · piss · water
Our submitter spotted this cheery notice during the “Going out Business” sale at a Blockbuster Video in Colorado. (Bankruptcy will do that you, I guess.)
related: Thanks for not shopping here — we’re closed FOREVER!
extra credit: Blockbuster goes bankrupt, Netflix shares soar
extra extra credit: “Borders: No Restrooms. Try Amazon.“
Tags: "customer service" · bathroom · smiley