Well, so much for “have a nice summer, see you next year”

July 4th, 2011 · 80 comments

Writes Roxanne in New Jersey: “When my niece, Diana, returned from a yearbook-signing party, she showed me this inscription from a girl who Diana says she hardly even knows. We’re both dying to know what those terrible warnings about her could have been (but of course, grateful that Leah apparently gave her a chance in spite of them.)”

Hey Diana! It was great getting to know you this year.  A lot of people warned me about you, but you're not so bad! heart, Leah.

related: 2good 2be 4gotten

FILED UNDER: heart · mean girls · New Jersey · schools & teachers


80 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Quite Contrary

    Hey Leah! Clearly, you haven’t met my friend, “tact.” I will introduce you. Love, Diana

    Jul 4, 2011 at 1:22 pm   rating: 43  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Vernon J

      Hello Quite Contrary,

      I’m the rep for ‘let’s be honest’ & ‘tact’. Let’s be honest isn’t that bad, tact just a fancy way of saying, I don’t wanna tell you how I really feel; because you meant be offended.

      Jul 11, 2011 at 8:06 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   spoko

      Or, it might be a fancy way of saying, “I’m going to refrain from throwing around random comments that will make you feel like crap and serve no discernible purpose.”

      Jul 11, 2011 at 9:01 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   mrazda71

    Wow… what a thoughtful inscription Leah… I’d hunt her down and find out …

    Jul 4, 2011 at 1:24 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   Rattus

    Leah seems to be lacking some social skills, but I’d be willing to wager that if people are dispersing free-ranging warnings about Diana, then Diana is a huge bitch. The thing about huge bitches is that often neither they nor their families seem to be aware of that fact.

    Jul 4, 2011 at 1:36 pm   rating: 51  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Who passed out the Haterade?

      Not necessarily… I’ve seen some who are vaguely aware of how they’re perceived and proud of it. (Based on the faulty assumption that the reason they’re perceived as a b#@&% is that they “don’t let other people run over” them.)

      Jul 4, 2011 at 2:05 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Persephone

      Gee, that’s. . . quite a leap of logic, Rattus. You’ve nailed down Diana’s character based on one ambivalent year-book comment. Remind me to never submit anything here concerning my kids, nieces and nephews, or other young relatives.

      Jul 4, 2011 at 2:27 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Rhamza

      @ persephone, if you cannot handle the flames then get out of the fire I suppose… in internet terms it means never post anythign on the internet ever,ever,ever,ever,ever,ever,ever,ever. I hope I got enough evers in there to get my point across.

      Jul 4, 2011 at 3:42 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   kermit

      That’s a really classy response Rhamza.

      I suppose that’s your solution to all hateful comments people make anywhere? People should just suck it up and deal instead instead of speaking out?

      Gee, why didn’t we think of this sooner so that lawmakers wouldn’t be bothered with writing civil rights laws, anti-discrimination laws, libel laws, etc.

      Jul 4, 2011 at 4:45 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   Rattus

      Not that ambivalent, Persephone. She said she had been warned by “a lot” of people. My lengthy experience on this planet has been that if “a lot” of people are giving warnings about someone, it is probably best to view that someone with a wary eye. And you will note that Leah said that, despite all the warnings, Diana wasn’t “so bad”. Hardly a ringing endorsement.

      Jul 4, 2011 at 6:07 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   kermit

      Well if you’re too lazy and/or incapable of actually thinking for yourself and forming your own opinion, I suppose that mob opinion is a good substitute.

      (Un)fortunately, it’s precisely that kind of mentality that allows people like Madoff to screw many people over. Anyone with half a brain and a critical eye doesn’t fork over their life savings to a guy that secretive just because all their friends say great things about them.

      Jul 4, 2011 at 9:08 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.7   Canthz_B bang

      Kermit, it seems that some people feel more comfortable when they roll with the crowd rather than forming their own opinions.
      Not too lazy and/or incapable of actually thinking for themselves…just afraid to stand on their own and, in need of the safety of numbers, they wet finger and test wind before speaking out.

      Let’s just say they’re cautious to a fault. That fault manifests itself as a yellow streak down the middle of their backs, the cowards.

      Jul 5, 2011 at 1:58 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.8   The Elf

      Conversely, (and assuming that Leah was in fact warned by “a lot” of people and that it is not a joke) it could be that Diana is a bit of social pariah and the warnings were that Leah’s own popularity would suffer if she hung around Diana.

      Jul 5, 2011 at 7:04 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.9   Rattus

      It would seem that Leah DID take upon herself to get to sort of know Diana despite the warnings, and determined that she wasn’t “so bad”.

      If you are actually referring to me in a passive aggressive manner, kermit, you will be relieved to know that the opinion of my husband means the world to me but I genuinely don’t give a rat’s ass about anyone elses.

      Jul 5, 2011 at 8:09 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.10   bookworm

      Oh, they know. It’s called “denial.”

      Jul 5, 2011 at 10:33 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.11   kermit

      At the risk of offending your apparent persecution complex, Rattus my comment wasn’t passive aggressive. Given that I replied right under your comment, I think that it’s quite obvious I was responding to your statement My lengthy experience on this planet has been that if “a lot” of people are giving warnings about someone, it is probably best to view that someone with a wary eye

      And by the way, a more appropriate analogy would be if you would still have dated and eventually married your partner if you found out that the gossip mill was saying mean things about him. According to your statement, you would not have bothered to know him and form your own opinions of his character.

      Jul 5, 2011 at 6:38 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.12   Rattus

      Well, kermit, they did say things about him, and I did marry him anyway. However, none of those things were warnings. If I had been warned by a number of people, for example, that he was a wifebeater (like the asshole a friend of mine married) or a murderer (like an asshole I dated before I met my husband), I would have been an idiot to dismiss those warnings out of hand.

      By the way, I don’t think that your level of comprehension is quite as acute as you think it is.

      Jul 5, 2011 at 7:56 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.13   Lindsey

      The submitter was from Jersey… I would assume that she knows EXACTLY how bitchy she is…

      Jul 5, 2011 at 9:46 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.14   kermit

      You’re right Rattus there’s a really big difference between a warning and the rumor mill

      gossip: OMG, did you hear from B that A did thing C? I know I’m not surprised because of this other thing I also heard from D.

      warning: I heard from B that that A did thing C. What, no I don’t actually have any evidence of it, but I thought I would warn you just in case ’cause you never know.

      Jul 5, 2011 at 9:49 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.15   Chesire Cat

      I agree that it could be that she is a social pariah and she was warned not to hang around her or suffer your own popularity falling. I was one of those people in middle school. I actually could be okay to hang around with and many popular kids enjoyed being with me on a one on one basis when their buddies were not around. So we would talk in class but I didn’t count as cool enough to sit with them in the lunchroom or be invited out with them. I would have guys be attracted to me too but never would ask me out because I was not popular enough. I knew they found me hot though because I caught them staring at my boobs or butt enough times.

      Jul 6, 2011 at 6:25 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Kay

    Translation from teenese:

    Hey, Diana!

    You’re very popular and I am not. Your yearbook circulated too far in class / the cafeteria / at the party and wound up in my hands. What can I write to make you feel like the loser that I am?

    <3 Leah

    PS No one warned me about you, silly, because no one talks to me.

    Jul 4, 2011 at 1:55 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Lin

    Seems like the person writing this was trying to make a joke. Not a very funny one, but scan it again for sarcasm.

    Jul 4, 2011 at 1:59 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   AuntyBron

      Honestly! Didn’t you people have yearbooks where you came from? It was an attempt at humor from an andolecent girl who doesn’t have our rapier wits. Don’t be so horsh on the poor child.

      Jul 4, 2011 at 3:52 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Melissa

      This sounds like it MIGHT be a lame version of ye olde “I don’t care what anybody says, I think you’re swell!” joke that has been written in yearbooks since time out of mind.

      I’ve also found that kids from this “self-esteem” generation (especially “only” children) are hyper-sensitive to any perceived slight. This type of joke goes right over their heads. If you’re not telling them how outstanding, special, talented and gifted they are, they think it’s an attack. They have no humility or modesty. They use self-deprecating humor to fish for compliments, but if someone else makes a similar comment, they’re dumbfounded.

      Jul 4, 2011 at 7:12 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   kermit

      If you’re not telling them how outstanding, special, talented and gifted they are, they think it’s an attack. They have no humility or modesty. They use self-deprecating humor to fish for compliments

      Well, aren’t you a peach to be around. Shouldn’t you be busy yelling at the “self-esteem” generation to get off your lawn and turn down their devil music?

      Jul 4, 2011 at 9:58 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   Canthz_B bang

      No, she shouldn’t. That’s my job. I hate the little snot-nosed , entitled little bastards who think the world owes them respect they’ve never earned. Pathetic prigs who think self-esteem is something others should instill in them, only seeing “esteem” while ignoring “self”, never understanding that self esteem comes from within oneself not from without.

      Them and their crappy little participation trophies…because that’s what expecting every yearbook comment to be a positive one is (points of jokes missed aside)…a participation in our class of whatever year trophy, no matter what the person really thinks of them.

      Jul 5, 2011 at 2:05 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.5   Jimmy James

      I *wish* the kids today listened to devil music. I grew up on devil music, and it was fucking awesome. Kids listen to plastic robot hologram music, with vocals from some Disney-owned over-sexualized underage girl or castrated underage boy.

      Jul 5, 2011 at 8:42 am   rating: 30  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.6   Oh Geeeee

      Almost worse than the “self-esteem” generation are the old geezers who think they deserve respect because they have, somehow, managed to age without dying along the way. Here’s a thought – why not treat everyone with a presumption of respect whether they are 12 or 62 until they have done something to prove themselves unworthy of that respect. ;-) Just saying.

      Also, anticipating friendly comments in your yearbook is not a “self-esteem generation” thing. I’m pretty sure we didn’t originate “if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

      Jul 5, 2011 at 8:44 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.7   Canthz_B bang

      “Old geezers who think they deserve respect because they have, somehow, managed to age without dying along the way” suck farts too.

      Respect is not given automatically just because one exists, age 12 or age 62. Respect is earned and one should never expect it otherwise.
      Between respect and disrespect we find open acceptance. How we behave dictates which direction (towards respect or disrespect) others perceive us.

      Jul 5, 2011 at 9:02 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.8   Oh Geeeee

      Ahh, CB – I find that I must respectfully disagree. :-D Sorry, couldn’t help it.

      Jul 5, 2011 at 9:46 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.9   Canthz_B bang

      I can respect that, but I don’t. Mere existence does not merit respect (see Tonya Harding), respect is earned or should not be given. ;-)

      Respect isn’t the same thing as acceptance. Everyone deserves some level of acceptance sight unseen, but respect is a higher bar.
      Just like I may accept your comments without respecting your opinion.

      Jul 5, 2011 at 10:11 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.10   Oh Geeeee

      Ahh but would you rather be over inclusive or under inclusive? There are only so many Tonya Hardings in the world, and many more people deserving of some amount of respect. I would rather show respect, even to those few who do not deserve it than fail to show respect to those who do deserve it while waiting for them to prove themselves to me. I can always stop showing respect once someone has proven themselves unworthy. I can’t go backwards and treat someone more respectfully if they do deserve it.

      Jul 5, 2011 at 10:24 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.11   Canthz_B bang

      There’s our difference, that being that I don’t expect people to “prove” they deserve my respect, but I can see right away when they do not deserve it.
      It comes down to how we conduct ourselves.
      Unlike you, I can go back and treat someone more respectfully if they do deserve it. Otherwise, what was the point in their proving they deserve to be respected in the first place?
      That’s not going backwards, that’s going forward…growing as a person. Letting go of pre-conceived notions and acknowledging the present conditions of the interpersonal relationship.Damn, now I sound like fucking Dr. Phil. :-P

      Anyway, I stick by my point that respect is not given. Respect is earned.
      Ever heard the phrase “Give credit where credit is due”? Same goes for respect, give it where it is due.

      Jul 5, 2011 at 10:35 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.12   Oh Geeeee

      Actually I think our big difference is this: I think that the default is that respect is deserved and can only be lost, once lost then it must be earned back, whereas you want to see someone earn it from the get go (although you don’t expect them to prove anything to you).
      I also think that granting or withholding respect solely based on initial interactions with someone and first impressions on how they conduct themselves can result in a pretty shallow analysis. I’m not saying that you engage in a shallow analysis, just that it would be difficult for me to make decisions on whether someone deserves respect “right away” without engaging in a shallow analysis.

      Most of the reasons I can think of to lose respect are based on actions, so yes conduct, but these actions are not necessarily apparent on first glance. Furthermore, there may be those who I would tend to prejudge based on their preference for a certain style of clothing, music style, or even limited interaction, who are entirely deserving of respect. This danger is especially apparent when I interact with someone who may have grown up in a different cultural setting with different values. If I did not default to a standard of showing everyone respect I may make a mistake and end up costing myself what could have been a productive and beneficial relationship, no matter how short that relationship was destined to last. Then again, I fully admit to an inability to “see right away when they do not deserve [respect].” Maybe if I could do that I would shift to your method of analysis. Overall, it is generally not my place to either give or withhold credit, whether due or not. I will leave those decisions to folks smarter than myself. In the mean time I will cover my ass, so to speak, and show respect to everyone unless they affirmatively act in a manner that causes me to lose respect for them.

      Jul 5, 2011 at 11:23 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.13   Rattus

      A big thumbs up to ya, OG. I couldn’t count the number of people deserving of respect that I have encountered in my life who would have undeservedly lost my respect if my first impression of them had been attained during one unfortunate moment in their lives.

      Jul 5, 2011 at 11:58 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.14   Witera33it

      I thing the difference here is that “respect” refers to a level of honour or admiration, by definition is earned. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/respect
      Acceptance is positive, but relatively neutral.
      I do not believe that everyone is deserving of honour, admiration or to be looked upon with high esteem or affection, I do believe everyone is deserving of acceptance.

      Jul 5, 2011 at 5:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.15   kermit

      The problem with the whole “respect needs to be earned” thing is that it eventually falls apart. There is nothing worthy of respect in whiny, crying and shitting infants. The thing is that you clean them up and respect their likes/dislikes anyway because they’re your kids.

      Even though they’re too young to actually “prove” that they’re worthy of respect, you still buy them the crap that they like for their birthday. You just wait for the teenage years to complain that they don’t respect you and don’t appreciate how hard you work to keep a roof over their ungrateful heads.

      In short, at some point you do have a baseline level of respect, even if it’s only with your kids.

      Jul 5, 2011 at 6:49 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.16   Oh Geeeee

      I do believe everyone is deserving of some form of admiration – everyone on this planet has a personal attribute or area of knowledge in which I am deficient. I respect (admire) these traits. But, I understand that not everyone has that point of view so I’ll play the game:

      Respect: “polite or kind regard; consideration”; “to have an attitude of esteem towards others”; “to show consideration for; treat courteously or kindly.” http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/respect (yeah, classy, I know – but at least it isn’t wikipedia :-D )

      I think that everyone deserves to be addressed with an “attitude of esteem” and to be treated courteously and kindly. If you’re really lucky, or perhaps unlucky, I may even address you with a steamy attitude ;-) ;-) which is nothing like an attitude of esteem. So we’re back to the beginning… I feel that everyone deserves respect (see above definition) until they affirmatively take some action to lose that respect. CB advocates for mere acceptance until respect is earned. To each his own, and I respect his different opinion.

      P.S. CB compared being accepting to people as opposed to respecting them as being like the way he accepts arguments without respecting them. Now maybe he just meant mine, but if you’d seen us go round before you would realize that that is no way to treat a stranger. No positive connotation there… nope, nuh uh.

      Jul 5, 2011 at 6:49 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.17   Canthz_B bang

      Kermit, you don’t care for your baby (change diapers and buy rattles and teething rings) out of respect. You do it because it’s your obligation as a good parent and because you love them and take your responsibility seriously.

      Jul 6, 2011 at 12:07 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.18   kermit

      CB, the point is that an infant has done nothing to earn your love or be deserving of it. You have absolutely no idea what their personality is like because they’re too young to have developed one.

      When a parent takes into account that their infant has preferences for a certain toy or playtime game or whatever, they do buy them that toy or engage in the activity that the kid likes because they respect’s the kid’s preferences. If they didn’t they’d pay no attention to what the kid actually likes.

      And while you personally may care for a child because you feel “obligated”, want to earn karma points or don’t want CPS after you, that’s not necessarily the case for other people.

      Jul 6, 2011 at 5:22 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.19   Canthz_B bang

      Kermit, I’m sorry, but where did I EVER say a child needs to earn love?
      No, we don’t buy our children their preferred toys and the like because we respect their preferences. We buy them because we understand their preferences and want to get them something that fits with their likes, not something they will not enjoy. Not respect, common sense. Being considerate. My son was into He-Man and Skeletor, an interest I didn’t have to respect in order to buy him every action set he wanted.
      Having an obligation and feeling obligated are NOT the same things in any way, shape or form.
      Having an obligation has no negative connotation, feeling obligated somehow implies reluctance.
      We sure as hell don’t change our babies diapers because we respect them. We do that because that’s what responsible parents do. To not do so would not be disrespectful as much as it would be neglectful.
      Please don’t play word games with me, I’m not as stupid as I look, and it smacks of disrespect. ;-)

      OG, no, no negative connotation there. I can accept an argument whilst seeing holes in it which make it an invalid point to my mind, thereby allowing me to not respect said argument. There’s nothing negative about not agreeing with you. Just a simple difference of opinion. Sometimes there is no right or wrong, just differing opinions.

      Jul 6, 2011 at 8:50 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.20   kermit

      To me, being considerate of someone’s preferences is a sign of respect more than love. I have to know someone’s personality before I love them, and sorry but newly born infants don’t have one.

      I was not playing word games with you. At first I thought you were kidding about people having to “earn” your respect, but your subsequent comments showed me that you were indeed serious.

      The only reason I even engaged in this conversation was to find out the rationale for how an African American – who in past comments described terrible injustices he experienced on a bus – would even think that someone has to “earn” his respect.

      I guess that you honestly don’t see that you didn’t “earn” or deserve the shoddy treatment that bus driver gave you and your siblings. Or that if that bus driver had a modicum of respect for people – instead of expecting that they should “earn” his respect, you would have traveled without incident.

      Anyhow, I think it’s pretty obvious by now that I agree with OG. I really do not want this to turn into a shit storm in the comments, so I will not comment further on the subject.

      Jul 6, 2011 at 6:31 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.21   Canthz_B bang

      We’re playing a race card game now? Racism is about non-acceptance and prejudice, and I’ve said that at the very least we all deserve acceptance.
      We didn’t need, ask for or expect the driver’s respect (there was a time when children were seen but not heard and were expected to respect their elders…not treated like small adults, and comparing the adult/child relationship to the adult/adult relationship is comparing apples to oranges), just to be accepted and treated like any other paying customers.

      I honestly don’t see why you have a problem with an African-American expecting that his respect should be earned. I really don’t, as I’ve spent a lifetime earning the respect of others. I don’t see why mine should be given away willy-nilly.

      Jul 7, 2011 at 9:22 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.22   Oh Geeeee

      Because respect isn’t a zero sum game. Instead, the more you give the more you receive. Hah, if you sounded like Dr. Phil earlier, I’m turning into a mix between Barney and a care bear. Oh well, can’t be helped.

      Jul 7, 2011 at 12:43 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.23   Canthz_B bang

      Agreed. The more you give the more you receive is a great way to earn respect.

      Thanks. ;-)

      Jul 8, 2011 at 1:01 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Jon

    This is the sort of thing I would write as a joke. How is it not clearly a joke? It’s a joke.

    Jul 4, 2011 at 2:00 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   FeRD bang

      Well, it’s clearly not an effective joke, because joking around with someone in that manner requires that you have some sort of actual relationship with them.

      The difference between that, and writing these things to a complete stranger, is the difference between humor and sociopathy.

      Jul 4, 2011 at 2:18 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Nick

    Clearly trollin’.

    Jul 4, 2011 at 2:43 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   aquapt

    Hey, at least she uses “you’re” correctly…

    Jul 4, 2011 at 2:45 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Katta

      Next thing you know, people will learn that ellipses indicate the omission of words, not, “I’m bored with periods.”

      Jul 4, 2011 at 3:10 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   aquapt

      (words omitted)

      Jul 4, 2011 at 4:33 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   TippingCows

      I’m bored with periods, but it’s a hell of a lot better than getting menopause early.

      Jul 4, 2011 at 8:58 pm   rating: 36  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   Oh Geeeee

      I dunno, but I am pretty sure that according to the Chicago Manual of Style ellipses may be used stylistically to indicate confusion or trailing off. If we really want to go nuts we could debate the proper spacing of the ellipsis, that is my idea of a good time . . . right up there with menstruation, in fact.

      Jul 4, 2011 at 10:04 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   Katta

      “Pretty sure” isn’t good enough, soldier! The punctuation police are always on the job. Perhaps you are thinking of an aposiopesis, which is rarely used correctly except by The Three Stooges, “Why, I oughta…”

      Jul 4, 2011 at 11:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.6   Canthz_B bang

      Hey, at least she uses “you’re” correctly instead of writing “your”.

      Could those be the omitted words in this case? Just asking, because it’s well known that I’m not a master of grammar around these parts.

      I’m also puzzled by “I’m bored with periods.”
      Wouldn’t that be more properly demonstrated by a lack of periods than by an excessive number of them? Or are the quotation marks misplaced and “I’m bored” with periods. is what was meant?

      I hate that I suck at grammar.

      Jul 5, 2011 at 2:17 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.7   Oh Geeeee

      @Katta Wow, aposiopesis is not in the Chicago Manual of Style (or at least not in the index) which means you sent me to my fall back resource, Wikipedia. While you are correct, that was definitely what I was referring to, I’m not quite ready to concede the point that an aposiopesis can also be referred to as an ellipsis. I don’t know why I would rely so heavily on the CMS, given that it let me down once this morning already, but I’m going to quote rule 11.45 “Ellipsis points may be used to suggest faltering or fragmented speech accompanied by confusion or insecurity.” Then again, that whole section of the CMS is discussing dialogue so it is not directly applicable to a situation where a writer uses an aposiopesis in a non-dialogue prose sort of narrative, thus using it stylistically rather than to indicate a third party speaker’s confusion. How then should I indicate my own confused and fragmented thought process on this matter? Perhaps this is where the em dash comes in? Alas, I have not as of yet perfected appropriate use of the em dash. Alright, you win, I concede.

      Jul 5, 2011 at 11:05 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.8   Katta

      Oh Geeeee, you were turning me on until you conceded! ;)

      Jul 5, 2011 at 6:41 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.9   kermit

      Anyhow, I think I can vindicate your suspicion, OG http://grammar.about.com/od/ab/g/aposioterm.htm If you have a flair for Latin but not for Greek, you can call it an interruptio or an interpellatio, but definitely not an ellipsis.

      Jul 5, 2011 at 7:06 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.10   Oh Geeeee

      Haha Katta – I conceded because grammar is certainly not my thing. However, I’m going to retract my concession; I wouldn’t want to disappoint you, after all.

      According to this absolutely random word blog I found by googling aposiopesis and ellipsis (http://cjewords.blogspot.com/2009/08/ellipsis-and-aposiopesis.html) it appears that an aposiopesis is the name for the pause or trailing off in and of itself whereas an ellipsis can be used to indicate the pause in writing. Similarly on point, “[a]n aposiopesis is often created through the use of a dash (-) or ellipsis (…) to imply an idea which cannot be or does not necessarily need to be finished by the speaker.” http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-aposiopesis.htm. In fact, asposiopesis is Greek for “for an apostrophe and ellipsis mixed–a punctuation mutt–meaning silence.” http://blog.tomeubanks.com/2011/01/19/elipsis-periods-the-pause-that-refreshes.aspx. I recommend that last source because it also has helped to clarify my confusion regarding the use of ellipses and em dashes.
      So in the end, the words asposiopesis and ellipsis are not synonymous as Kermit has already established. However, my original contention that an ellipsis may be used to indicate faltering thought or trailing off appears to be ok. Even if it isn’t, I am (referring to the discussion above) absolutely of the “self-esteem” generation and therefore I feel I deserve praise and cookies for somewhat shoddy work bolstered by limited knowledge and extensive use of google.
      Kermit – thanks for your help. Unfortunately neither Greek nor Latin is my thing. I am absolutely abysmal with languages. It’s too bad too because knowledge of either would have come in handy more times than I can count.

      Jul 5, 2011 at 8:24 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   TippingCows

    Perhaps they were warning Leah about Diana’s tendency to gnaw on the necks of dead squirrels she found in the courtyard. Or perhaps Leah is part of a church that pegged Diana and her family as the anti-christ due to loud parties, children out of wedlock, and being absent from church on Sundays.
    Or maybe Diana’s the type of kid that keeps to herself, doesn’t take shit from people, and doesn’t feel the need to please anyone in order to gain their favor. People like that aren’t exactly considered “kosher” in society …
    /speculation

    Jul 4, 2011 at 3:03 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Pay The Piper

    Niiiiice….Love it.

    Jul 4, 2011 at 11:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Canthz_B bang

    Here’s what’s sure to be a controversial idea: Give your yearbook to people with whom you’ve forged a bond and not to perfect strangers for comments.
    The people who sign your yearbook are supposed to be people you actually know and who actually know you.
    Yearbook friends are not the same as Facebook friends, the comments are supposed to remind you years later of times shared with friends in your salad days. They are not a scorecard. Numbers don’t count, sentiment does. Sometimes you get a few surprises, as I found out I’d forged more bonds than I ever knew I had. This may be one of those cases. One of those times we’ve touched someone we never even knew we’ve touched. Take it for what it’s worth, and pay more attention to the people around you, because some of them may be paying attention to you.

    Jul 5, 2011 at 2:33 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   The Elf

      It was a yearbook signing party! All the yearbooks got passed around and everyone signed everybody’s.

      I think this is a hamfisted attempt at humor, but if you don’t know the girl well enough to write a joke she’ll actually get, just sign it “Good luck! Leah, 2011″ Save the bad jokes for the people who know you tell bad jokes.

      Jul 5, 2011 at 7:09 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   Adriana

      I learned that lesson the hard way.

      In my freshman year of high school, I took choir. The best singer in the choir was a senior and she didn’t associate with the likes of me. In fact, we never spoke once the entire year.

      At the end of the year, I decided that I should ask her to sign my yearbook. She was going off to a fancy school to study music and I thought she might become famous one day or something silly like that.

      When I got my yearbook back, I was kind of horrified at what she wrote: “Adriana, you always have a frown on your face. Why are you so depressed? You should smile more! Life is too short to be upset all the time.”

      I am not a depressed person. I have a naturally downturned mouth and I’ve been getting comments like that from strangers as far back as I can remember. So, after that, I only asked people I knew well to sign my yearbook.

      Jul 5, 2011 at 7:23 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   Canthz_B bang

      Elf, my point exactly. Yearbook signing parties just to pass your yearbook around to have it signed are pathetic attempts to get numbers, not true sentiments.
      What? They’re too lazy to find their real friends and hand them their yearbooks in person?
      Then getting messages from people they profess not to know is what they deserve.

      That’s what happens when you take shortcuts and eschew the personal touch.
      If you don’t know the person, don’t put pen to paper in their yearbook. If you don’t know the person, don’t pass your yearbook to them. What’s a disingenuous “Good Luck to the guy/girl I don’t even know” worth these days anyway?

      Jul 5, 2011 at 8:46 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   The Elf

      Yes, but what do you expect from the generation that got awards for participation and brought cupcakes to the entire class so no one would feel left out?

      Jul 5, 2011 at 9:12 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.5   Canthz_B bang

      My point exactly, Elf. Accolades without achievements equals self-entitled attitudes.

      I guess faint praise is better than no praise these days, but I wouldn’t want any.

      Jul 5, 2011 at 10:55 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.6   Nunavut Guy

      A friend of mine has kids that play in a soccer league that doesn’t keep score.That way no one loses……….oh and you can’t have peanuts on the bench.

      Jul 5, 2011 at 12:48 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.7   Team Redhead

      CB, I’ll always remember our salad days. You have touched me in ways I never knew I could be touched.

      Jul 5, 2011 at 1:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.8   The Elf

      Redhead, can you show me where he touched you on this doll?

      Jul 5, 2011 at 1:29 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.9   Chesire Cat

      What Elf said about during a yearbook signing party or even in class etc the yearbooks get passed around from one person to the next so it is very possible she did not ask or even care if that person signed her yearbook, she just did. I had people not close to me sign mine or only semi close and I signed theirs too. Sometimes I asked them and sometimes they asked me. I preferred the nicely written sweet notes from my friends, but didn’t mind other messages from others either. It was considered cool to have a popular kid sign your yearbook and if they flat out did not refused you that was a small triumph! LOL!

      Jul 6, 2011 at 12:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   bookworm

    In another few years, Diana will have forgotten all about this. Who seriously opens for anything other than receiving comments?

    Jul 5, 2011 at 10:39 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   divaandwriter bang

    I vote for the bad teenage joke. I think the note writer was just being snarky.

    Jul 5, 2011 at 10:59 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Jimmy James

    I’m going to bypass the whole “bad joke or simply tactless” debate, and suggest that Diana is actually a vampire, and that’s why all the other kids warned Leah about her.

    But there was something mysterious about Diana that drew Leah in, despite the warnings. An air of confidence, of power, of being wise beyond her years, and not giving in to other people’s expectations of her. And a piquant dash (just a dash) of bitchiness. Little did she know she had barely scratched the surface of her strange new friend- she thought that yearbook signing party would be the last they saw of each other until September, but one night Diana showed up, hovering outside Leah’s window and on the run from the Frankenstein Gang. Leah unlatched the window and let her friend in. “I didn’t know where else to turn,” Diana said, breathless. “Yours was the kindest thing anyone wrote in my yearbook. Do you know how many variations on ‘You suck!’ an unpopular vampire girl is subjected to? And none of them are funny.”
    Just then, the still early summer night was ripped apart, by the sound of the Frankensteins’ Hellbillly Hot Rod burning rubber around a corner.
    “Oh Leah,” said Diana, “Let’s run. Let’s run and never look back!”

    Jul 5, 2011 at 11:49 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Chesire Cat

      I think you just wrote the next “Twilight”

      Jul 6, 2011 at 9:00 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   meeper

    This is giving me flashbacks of high school when people I barely talked to asked me to sign their yearbooks. I must not have written anything offensive because years later they’re awkwardly friending me on Facebook where we still don’t talk to each other.

    Jul 5, 2011 at 3:21 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   orange dog

    “Hi, um, Leah. We barely, like, know each other, but could you, like, sign my yearbook?”

    “Um, yeah, sure. I don’t want to write, like, anything boring or cliche, like, ‘good luck’ or anything. I try to be funny. You would know that, like, if you got to know me better.”

    Jul 5, 2011 at 4:31 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Paul

    I wish I had thought to write that in, like, EVERYONE’s yearbook. Brilliant.

    Jul 7, 2011 at 7:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   4u2c bang

    2/3 in the thread and we have transversed to: pride… Our integrity, boundaries as well thoughts of rejection to some degree.

    (SKIP TO CONCLUSION- for me if keeping it simple)

    Who knows if these girls are fb friends as well as if the act of sufficing a question reciprocated in Leah’s direction may be necessary for the inquiring mind down the road.

    I have wanted to challenge so many point since starting to read this then falling asleep and now at five thirty- my time- able to mis-match some working thoughts to get in the game.

    As these yearbook signing are not just mean’t for friendships whereas you interact on a daily or even weekly basis one might want to take in these little malnourished, non-convoyant ideas and let them grow within one’s mind or ASK what their significance is.
    Questioning is a tough set-back but is better than having an idea of what one’s intentions were when the answer well could possibly be a few clicks away.

    One should be savvy enough to compensate their levels of acceptance and respect as not necessarily very guiding. They can both be contradicted with actions… Unless some of the people in this world have a great simplistic (for the detainee of your examination) ways of showing how much each one of their moves have up’ed or down’ed your ante of acceptance/ respect.

    Conclusion:

    Try not to pass judgement too quickly.

    Jul 8, 2011 at 10:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Kelsey

    Why would you say that in someone’s yearbook?!

    Jul 31, 2011 at 8:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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