Writes Carolyn in Brooklyn: “My youngest daughter, Annisa, clearly had a problem with her recalcitrant tooth fairy. This is a series of letters, including an envelope, that I saved from her early years. I have no doubt that her finely tuned negotiating skills were developed as a result.” The best part? Annisa, who just turned 31 on Saturday, is now — no joke — a Director of Human Resources.”
(I really didn’t think this tooth-fairy letter could be topped, but in terms of sheer precociousness — not to mention determination — I think we have a new winner.)
related: Look, Tooth Fairy, here’s the deal.
117 responses so far ↓
#1
Caitlin S
I think the bossy little “don’t correct my spelling” bit at the end of the second note is the best part.
Jul 10, 2011 at 6:45 pm rating: 90
#2
Jorge Barnes
Wow. I can just see her threatening the hourlies:
“It is now July 10th. The strike has gone on 2 weeks longer than I said it could. The next day you are on strike you will lose your dental plan. Don’t mean to be hard, but I need my executive bonus this quarter.”
Jul 10, 2011 at 6:47 pm rating: 91
#3
LizzyBean
What an annoying little brat! I bet she’s just as hard on her employees now. Fine honed negotiating skills my ass. If I were her “tooth fairy” I would have yanked them all out.
Jul 10, 2011 at 6:48 pm rating: 91
#4
Rachel
ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That just made my day.
Jul 10, 2011 at 6:49 pm rating: 90
#5
skezix22
Best tooth fairy notes I have EVER seen. Awesome!
Jul 10, 2011 at 6:55 pm rating: 90
#6
fakespotter
Fake as all get out, but kinda funny.
Jul 10, 2011 at 6:56 pm rating: 90
#7
Jorge Barnes
Stamp says 1980. If she turned 31 she was born in 1980. Earliest I’ve heard of a kid losing a tooth is age 5.
What I’m getting at is… Who holds on to stamps for 5 years???
Jul 10, 2011 at 7:00 pm rating: 90
#8
Jynical
I kinda love her.
Jul 10, 2011 at 7:01 pm rating: 90
#9
Kelster
Only New Yorker would be so brash.
Jul 10, 2011 at 7:15 pm rating: 91
#10
kermit
I’m with Jorge, somethin’ s fishy here.
If the letters are real – well, this just confirms that HR people start jerk training from a very early age.
Jul 10, 2011 at 7:19 pm rating: 90
#11
Malice
I’m kind of amazed at everyone saying what a bitch she is. She was a little kid. Who calls a little kid a bitch?
I think the notes are adorable and funny.
Jul 10, 2011 at 7:39 pm rating: 90
#12
Dj_Sarabi
My letter to the Tooth Fairy went:
Dear Tooth Fairy,
Are you real?
[ ] yes
[ ] no
Mom, of course, kept it for laughs.
Jul 10, 2011 at 7:40 pm rating: 90
#13
Caroline
Jorge Barnes, it’s a 5 cent stamp. We’d get 1 and 5 cent stamps as “change” from stamp vending machines, as I recall. We never had any use for them, but throwing them out was like throwing out money, so they knocked around in the bottom of desk drawers for years on end. My parents probably still have some in the back of a drawer somewhere.
That’s probably why her parents let her stick it on a letter to the Tooth Fairy, too. They wouldn’t have let her waste a real stamp.
(BTW, first class postage in 1985 was 22 cents. By ’88 it was 25 cents. So the 5 cent stamp is purely for show.)
Furthermore — Google informs me that the reason it says GRENADA on it? Is because it’s a stamp from Grenada — this one is a 1980 Christmas stamp with Snow White on it. God knows where they got a hold of a Grenada stamp in the first place.
Jul 10, 2011 at 7:49 pm rating: 90
#14
Get on your bikes and ride
Brazen hussy.
Back in my day children showed the proper respect to their Toothfairy. Who would want to tick off a mystical being of unknown size and demeanor with a penchant for fangs who also had the knowledge of where you live and knew the exact day you lost a tooth, and who had the power to slip into your room unseen in the wee hours of the night. Not I.
Jul 10, 2011 at 8:21 pm rating: 90
#15
it's naptime
I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!
Jul 10, 2011 at 8:53 pm rating: 90
#16
Jaybee
I want my two dollars… TWOOO DOLLLARS!! Heh, this post cracked me up. And yeah, she was definitely a little demanding biatch in training. Hope she mellowed with age.
Jul 10, 2011 at 8:56 pm rating: 90
#17
Kostia
I’m a few years older than Annisa and I collected stamps as a kid. Stamps from foreign counties with Disney and other American characters on them, and specifically stamps from Grenada, were ALWAYS included in the mixed-up bags of stamps kids could buy from mail-order ads.
Jul 10, 2011 at 9:20 pm rating: 90
#18
KST
If this was my child, I would slap the shit out of their self-entitled ass.
Jul 10, 2011 at 9:44 pm rating: 90
#19
Mrs.Beasley
Sorry, but I’m on Team Hateful. If these notes are legit (along with others, I have my doubts), I think a chat with Mom and Dad regarding good manners was in order at the time. Over juice/tea/cookies, naturally.
Jul 10, 2011 at 10:15 pm rating: 90
#20
Melissa
She’s all, “BITCH BETTA HAVE MY MONEY!”
She even started the juice by doubling the principal plus 25% for payment by tomorrow morning! Next she’ll send her bag man to break that fairy’s kneecaps. As in, “Joey Bag-a-donuts will be over for “juice and tea” at 7 AM!” I don’t know in what circles this is considered cute (apparently NY/NJ).
Jul 10, 2011 at 10:45 pm rating: 90
#21
shat
Should this be renamed Passive Aggressive Notes and Aggressive Comments? Lighten up, people.
Jul 11, 2011 at 12:28 am rating: 90
#22
Dolly
Well, I’d like to speak to Annisa’s mum about this! Why were the tooth-fairy’s payments late repeatedly? And maybe she could also explain where her daughter picked up on imposing penalty interest and demanding to speak to someone’s boss etc!
Jul 11, 2011 at 3:42 am rating: 90
#23
Grant
Dear Annisa,
A word of advice – don’t fall asleep with your head under the pillow.
Love,
The Toothfairy.
Jul 11, 2011 at 3:44 am rating: 90
#24
Canthz_B
Two bucks?! Kids must have unionized, because we got 25¢ for a tooth in the 60s.
Jul 11, 2011 at 4:30 am rating: 90
#25
frankenmouse
@ 24, 24.1 I was a kid in the 80s/early 90s and I still got only 25 cents for a tooth. With the exception of the two that were extracted; the parents ponied up a buck a piece for those suckers.
(whoops, comment nesting incident)
Jul 11, 2011 at 8:16 am rating: 90
#26
Helen
Whoa, there’s a lot of harsh comments on this. Did no one but me notice that the first note indicated the “tooth fairy” had yet to show up three weeks after the girl lost her tooth? That’s a really long time when your a kid to wait and keep putting a tooth under your pillow. I can remember hoping out loud, in front of my parents, that the tooth fairy would give me extra money for having taken so long, and I promise I’m not a selfish jerk.
The boss thing however has to be modeled after mom.
Jul 11, 2011 at 9:39 am rating: 90
#27
Aim
My tooth fairy was a cheapskate by today’s standards. My teeth fell out in the late ’70s, early ’80s and I remember looking forward to that quarter under my pillow. I may have gotten 50 cents for a molar, but it was never an entire dollar. ‘Course, this tooth fairy was also in the same union as my Dad, who had a habit of charging me and my sister 10 cents for every half hour we left a light on in a room that we weren’t inhabiting…
Jul 11, 2011 at 10:08 am rating: 90
#28
Sensible Madness
This kid’s mom needs to get her act together. It really, really sucks for a kid to put a tooth under their pillow and see that same tooth still there in the morning. For a kid waiting on something, overnight is an eternity. Having to wait three weeks had to be torture.
Jul 11, 2011 at 10:24 am rating: 90
#29
Pers
I’m on team Kid for this one.
Hey mom, just do what you’re supposed to with a little kid and just put some money under her pillow. I just picture this kid waking up with hopes dashed after looking under her pillow for weeks breaks my shrivelled childfree heart.
When you have a kid, you have to do stupid stuff like put money under the pillow for the Toothfairy. It comes with being a parent. I think the mom is the passive aggressive one in this story. Team Kid all the way.
Jul 11, 2011 at 11:04 am rating: 90
#30
scoutinny
Cute, but everyone knows that HR staff are the absolute lowest rung on the ladder of any staff – the equivalent of the short bus. I can see how that fate was determined for this gal in her childhood.
Jul 11, 2011 at 11:17 am rating: 90
#31
finette
My tooth fairy note just said I KNOW IT’S YOU MOM.
I was always a skeptic and am now, believe it or not, an atheist.
Jul 11, 2011 at 11:22 am rating: 90
#32
oi
I think mom was having fun too. It obviously looks like she replied to her letters as a tooth fairy sans payment. Something of increasing fury and interest rate and mention of sit down tells me not only that the other adult was involved in this war fare for extracting (heh) payment from tooth fairy but mom/toothfairy’s replies were molded (heh) to fuel this fire.
Jul 11, 2011 at 11:24 am rating: 90
#33
chandie
I always got a quarter for my teeth (80′s) and then my mom would take it back to do the laundry. Thanks, Mom.
Jul 11, 2011 at 12:59 pm rating: 90
#34
Mike
Fake notes are fake.
Jul 11, 2011 at 1:52 pm rating: 90
#35
Jenny
I want to know where she got the address. Atmosphere, Milky Way and Galaxy I get, but the street address of 2103 and the zip code of 21091 is what’s cracking me up.
Jul 11, 2011 at 2:20 pm rating: 90
#36
FeRD
/me gigglebraxes all over #16.1 Melissa, now that she’s given away that it annoys her!
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!
Jul 11, 2011 at 4:36 pm rating: 90
#37
LiquidHotMegma
It’s her FIRST FANG! So young, so self-aware…
Jul 11, 2011 at 7:02 pm rating: 90
#38
Canon
This kid acts way too entitled and everyone thinks it’s cute because she’s young.
How about this:
kid: ‘fuck you!”
adults: aww *chuckle*
Jul 11, 2011 at 7:11 pm rating: 90
#39
ISpy
Suggesting that kids write a note to air their grievances is a time-honored parenting method.
I love this kid. I wish she was mine. Mine just keep complaining instead of doing something about it.
My guess is it went something like this:
Mom/Dad: I don’t know why the tooth fairy hasn’t left you anything for that tooth. Why don’t you write a note and leave it under your pillow?
Annisa: That’s a great idea! I’ll run up to my room and get right on it.
Mom/Dad: Holy Crap. She’s really going to do it.
Quick, see if there’s any change in the couch!
Jul 11, 2011 at 11:02 pm rating: 90
#40
trillium
I don’t personally find the bratty kid notes cute either, but whatever.
I’m wondering why her parents kept stringing her along like this though, was it for their own personal amusement? Just give the kid the tooth money already. Teasing kids to the point of frustration isn’t funny, it’s mean.
Jul 11, 2011 at 11:41 pm rating: 90
#41
Katelawnmower
“You owe me $1 not to be hard but I need money”
the best.
On a more serious note (lawl), the second one is totally fake, but I believe the first and third/fourth. It’s obviously written by a different person (probably the mom like a week ago). The handwriting is sooooo painfully obviously not the same.
Jul 12, 2011 at 1:35 am rating: 90
#42
Lhyzz
If I were her mother, I’d write back… “Dear Annisa, I quit. I wish you luck in finding a suitable replacement. Yours, Tooth Fairy”
Jul 12, 2011 at 4:32 am rating: 90
#43
LeahP
I feel so sorry for the servers/cashiers/service reps that Mom must have constantly berated within lil Anissa’s earshot. Kids don’t just come up with “I’m going to tell your boss that you were goofing off.”
Jul 12, 2011 at 8:02 am rating: 90
#44
Mean with a G
FAKE
Jul 12, 2011 at 1:40 pm rating: 90
#45
Carolyn
As the mother and submitter of these, I can assure you with 100% certainty that they are NOT fake. I can also assure you that she has grown into a wonderful, respectful and respected adult. Despite her negligent tooth fairy.
Jul 12, 2011 at 2:19 pm rating: 90
#46
Netta
It is kind of mean to string her along like this… but the notes are soooo worth it. Awesome.
Jul 12, 2011 at 6:15 pm rating: 90
#47
Nami
Aww these are one of the best PA notes on here! I was ROFL when it said “talk over cookies’. Too precious!
Jul 13, 2011 at 11:41 am rating: 90
#48
Nami
“Dear Toothfairy, It is day 30. I will now report you to your toothfairy boss and have you resign from your position immediately, with a fine of 2 chocolate chip cookies, and a glass of lemonade.
Yours truly, your toothless customer.”
Jul 13, 2011 at 11:46 am rating: 90
#49
Zhopka
I’m sorry, I can’t help it… I simply don’t see anything ‘cute’ or ‘precious’ about a little girl with such an over-inflated sense of entitlement. These aren’t ‘adorable’ by any means. Oh, and she isn’t a bitch or a jerk, either. She’s just a little kid I sure as h*ll wouldn’t want to babysit, or even to know. Just sayin’.
Jul 13, 2011 at 2:32 pm rating: 90
#50
Margaret
This note only shows determination. I would love for her to work for me.
Jul 13, 2011 at 7:36 pm rating: 90
#51
Memi
Anissa sounds full of awesome.
‘don’t correct my spelling’ has me howling ROFL
Jul 14, 2011 at 1:34 pm rating: 90
#52
Scott
Well, umm.. Mom, didn’t you realize that there is no tooth fairy and that YOU are really supposed to be the tooth fairy?
She should never have had to resort to writing letters. Why didn’t she get the money the first night?
Scott
Jul 16, 2011 at 10:41 am rating: 90
#53
Cynthia Kahane
If you want to add a little magic to the Tooth Fairy experience I highly recommend this website http://www.mytoothfairypictures.com. I used it with each of my children and they were overjoyed to find a picture of themselves with the Tooth Fairy the morning after they had lost a tooth. I had a great time making these photos, and an even better time watching the smiles on my kids’ faces when they discovered them.
Jul 18, 2011 at 10:23 am rating: 90
#54
Ev
Wow, people, c’mon, it’s a little kid. They are like this, whether their parents are trying to knock some sense into them or not. It’s funny, and most of them grow out of it. My cousins, all raised by different types of parents, and kids of friends, can all be like this. Even the smart, well raised ones.
It isn’t like she is having a fit in a grocery store because she can’t have a candy bar, or saying this to some adult and being disrespectful. She is writing a note to some imaginary person, asking “Hey, where is my money?” After all, don’t we tell children they will get money from the tooth fairy?
Plus, some parents forget, haha. Or they don’t have the money at the moment. I pulled all my teeth out, one after the other, and my mom just gave up. Perhaps they thought it was funny! A six year old doesn’t exactly *need* money, and some parents like to play games like this, right or not.
I found these hilarious, and could imagine a frustrated little girl looking under her pillow and finding her tooth yet again, and writing these.
Jul 21, 2011 at 8:54 pm rating: 90
#55
Adrian
“Don’t correct my spelling”
(but… prepaprd!)
Well, it is her first fang…
Jul 24, 2011 at 4:45 pm rating: 90
#56
Duncan
“If you don’t give me what I want I will find another Tooth Fairy” – EPIC. How did the kid learn this? Young enough to believe in the tooth fairy but old enough to threaten to hire rival contractors.
Jul 25, 2011 at 7:49 am rating: 90
#57
cyberthug
fake.
Jul 29, 2011 at 5:35 am rating: 90
#58
Erin
Oh wow. This is hysterical! If my child had penned such lovely notes, I would definitely have kept them.
I love how Annissa directs the Tooth Fairy to not correct her spelling, but to focus on the real heart of the matter of getting her damn $ to her. STAT.
And I love how Annissa is going to speak with the higher ups of mom & boss before going to another Tooth Fairy. She really wants to give this Tooth Fairy an opportunity to course correct.
Absolutely hilarious!
Jul 29, 2011 at 8:58 am rating: 90
#59
Kelsey
It is so awesome you kept these.
Jul 31, 2011 at 8:44 pm rating: 90
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