It’s not just God who’s watching you…

July 17th, 2011 · 35 comments

While admiring a “very nice” church in Edinburgh, James was only slightly discomfited by this notice about the measures being taken to ensure his comfort.

SMILE, you are on camera. For your safety and comfort there are 9 security cameras monitoring the premises. If you are not here to pray - it's not just God who's watching you!

related: He died for your clip art

FILED UNDER: clip art catastrophe · God · Scotland

35 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Scott

    At least they’re NOW informing you that you’re being filmed while taking a piss.

    Jul 17, 2011 at 10:29 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Nunavut Guy

      Where does it say anything about the cameras being in a washroom?

      Jul 18, 2011 at 12:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   Scott

      It doesn’t. But you’ll know when you find yourself a star over at “”, “” or something like that.

      Jul 18, 2011 at 2:43 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.3   Scott

      Not to mention somebody just got busted for a urinal camera:

      You never know where you’re being filmed. Somebody was doing the same thing in the unisex bathroom at Starbucks, getting the camera back and uploading in his car once every hour.

      Jul 19, 2011 at 1:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   obtuse

    which one is god?

    Jul 17, 2011 at 10:35 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   Leftorious

    The missing final touch needed is…

    “Jesus loves you and forgives, so put it back and you just might make it to heaven, you heathen!”

    Jul 17, 2011 at 10:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   unsatisfied

      Jesus loves you….everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.

      Jul 18, 2011 at 10:23 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   Sesquipedalian

    “Install our security system and your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil!”

    Jul 17, 2011 at 10:57 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   havingfitz

    Look, I know for a fact that God is busy watching over refrigerators and smiting Hot Pocket thieves. (And possibly Dave…)

    Jul 17, 2011 at 11:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   Buck

    So, I’m assuming they don’t want people stealing and what not. Which seems strange for a church because Jesus said all that hippie kinda stuff about stealing a coat and giving the guy your cloak too. But, hey, why let the actual spirit of the Bible get in the way of policing your church gold and silver.

    Jul 18, 2011 at 12:47 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   kmd

      Jesus said if a man ASKS for your cloak give him your shirt also. And forgive those who hurt you.

      Jesus didn’t teach that human beings should be a-ok with someone stealing from them.

      Jul 18, 2011 at 6:19 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.2   EyeHeartA2 bang

      Sweet….can you cite the verse about coat stealing for us?

      Jul 18, 2011 at 7:39 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   Divvitar

    I think this is just a scary reflection of society, but not really PA.

    Jul 18, 2011 at 12:47 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   boxes

    Because anybody who isn’t being ostentatiously faithful must be an untrustworthy scoundrel.

    Jul 18, 2011 at 5:05 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Sensible Madness bang

      The ones who are particularly ostentatious about their faith are usually the ones you really have to watch your wallet around.

      Jul 18, 2011 at 8:54 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   The Elf

    It’s not just God watching you, it’s also the priest. And Father Chester likes what he sees…..

    Jul 18, 2011 at 6:32 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   Adriana

    There are nine cameras; eight of them are in the church bathroom – for your comfort.

    Jul 18, 2011 at 7:47 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   Jas

    Sadly, I can see the need for this. A church in my hometown was broken in to and vandalized – the people broke the baptismal font, took all the food out of the fridge and used it to smear the hymnals and hangings, knocked over and dented or broke a lot of the brass…I think the church sustained $30,000 worth of damages, and since they lost most of their food stash they had to shut down their lunch program for the homeless for a few weeks.

    Jul 18, 2011 at 8:21 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   divaandwriter bang

      Our church was also broken into recently, and money stolen from the poor boxes. Another church that I used to attend had a break-in and the thieves actually stole the tabernacle from the small side chapel. They had to install a security camera after that. Why anyone would want to steal a tabernacle, I don’t know, unless they thought it was valuable. There was a time when even thieves wouldn’t think of stealing from a church, but not anymore.

      Jul 18, 2011 at 9:31 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.2   Scott

      Leaving your loose money out in your bedroom at home is one thing, but why would anyone leave cash out where it can be stolen pretty easily? Did they not invest in at least a small heavy fireproof safe (not the “business suitcase” style)? I’ve helped move one before and they’re heavy and would take a short while to get out. Just leaving the money in a desk drawer or something would be like leaving your cash on the bed in your college dorm – come and get it!

      Jul 18, 2011 at 2:53 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   Sensible Madness bang

    This note is more PA if you imagine it’s actually directed at God.

    “Since we hired God to handle security, we’ve been broken into 6 times. As a result, we’ve installed security cameras to help God do his job properly.”

    Jul 18, 2011 at 8:57 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   The Elf

      It’s not God’s fault. He can’t be everywhere all the time! Do you expect him to know everything?!


      Jul 18, 2011 at 9:14 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   Canthz_B bang

    Consequence number one of the Protestant Reformation.
    In the old days God would have told the Pope who’d transgressed, and they’d have been taken into custody straight away.
    Now they need cameras.

    Jul 18, 2011 at 9:37 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   orange dog

    Team God.

    Taking the whole Bible’s counsel, there are times to be open and trusting and there are times to be wise and cautious. Also, being in Scotland, it may be a Presbyterian church. Traditional Calvinists believe in the total depravity of man.

    Having said that… the sign is a little creepy. A committee ought to be formed to rewrite it. They could call it the New Revised Standard Passive Aggressive Security Sign.

    Jul 18, 2011 at 10:14 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   Kathleen

    Nice of them to give fair warning, I suppose. Depending on what you’re doing, ceiling cat might be involved.

    Jul 18, 2011 at 10:20 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #16   Bob

    So, if you ARE there to pray, you don’t show up on the security cameras?

    Jul 18, 2011 at 10:29 am   rating: 91  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   The Elf

      Not since the Presbyterian Church has been taken over by vampires, no.

      Jul 18, 2011 at 12:42 pm   rating: 91  small thumbs up

  • #17   senoy

    Our church got hit last year, but it was by anti-Christian and racist vandalism. They broke in and spray painted swastikas and anti-Christian and anti-black messages. It’s odd because our church is 90% white, but I guess hate isn’t rational. We didn’t install security cameras afterwards though. We just cleaned up and repainted.

    Jul 18, 2011 at 1:29 pm   rating: 91  small thumbs up

  • #18   Tech42

    If your church was broken into, then you’re obviously worshiping the wrong god; the right one would have proteced you!

    Jul 18, 2011 at 2:25 pm   rating: 91  small thumbs up

  • #19   bizzle

    I think I saw this sign at St. Giles Cathedral when I was in Scotland a couple years ago, which is one of the main stops on the Royal Mile in Edinburgh, making it quite a tourist attraction, so you can only imagine the unsavory types they get in there. It is a beautiful church, too.

    Jul 18, 2011 at 4:13 pm   rating: 91  small thumbs up

  • #20   Eileen

    Our church had to stop buying gold chalices because they kept getting stolen. Now it’s ceramic, and it’s ugly. Thanks a lot, thieves. God’ll get you in the end.

    Jul 18, 2011 at 6:38 pm   rating: 91  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Nunavut Guy

      Those fake gold chalices make my lips turn green.

      Jul 19, 2011 at 12:49 pm   rating: 91  small thumbs up

  • #21   matt

    That’s just creepy.
    Cameras for safety: ok, fair enough; but cameras for my comfort: wtf?? How the hell am I supposed to gain comfort from a security camera, or is there somehow a ‘special’ way you are meant to comfort yourself using this camera?

    Jul 24, 2011 at 6:58 am   rating: 91  small thumbs up

  • #22   Update

    N.B. God and Walter had a falling out – that’s just how it goes some time – so he got fired, and the new security guard is called Frank. So if you could change the signs ‘Frank is watching you’ or something. I heard God is now doing security at the Princes Street Shopping Centre, but that sounds a bit quick. Maybe it’s all the same security company and he was just rotated out and the stuff about Walter is rumours. Anyway, I don’t know – do you want a hot pocket?

    Jul 25, 2011 at 7:43 am   rating: 91  small thumbs up

  • #23   Beulah

    At least it didn’t say “Smile, YOUR on camera,” the way these signs almost invariably do.

    Jul 27, 2011 at 8:51 pm   rating: 91  small thumbs up


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