Amy and her cousin were enjoying a casual stroll in Toronto when they noticed this note in a neighbor’s garden — a note which Amy says left her with far more questions than answers.
I’d have to agree with Amy that the stand-out line here is the one towards the end about whether the tomato thief ever makes racist or ageist remarks. (Because…huh?)
Adds Amy: “The lack of grammar made me think that ‘young people’ were a new racial group. And why does the note-writer beg the thief to at least return ONE of the stolen tomatoes — because it’s so precious? And is the last line a threat of being infected by Asian lily beetle poison? I don’t get it!”
related: People of Philadelphia, these tomatoes are not for you!
44 responses so far ↓
#1
Rattus
Hey. I’m in Toronto. Their tomato thief is probably the same asshole who stole my first ripening Polish Lingua tomato last week. And lucky thief, my tomatoes are not infected by anything.
Aug 2, 2011 at 3:31 pm rating: 9
#2
Quite Contrary
Methinks the tomato planter has been smoking too much Asian lily beetle poison.
Aug 2, 2011 at 3:34 pm rating: 18
#3
Adriana
I was really sympathetic until the third paragraph. After that I was just confused.
Aug 2, 2011 at 3:44 pm rating: 51
#4
Mr. Squirrel
I’m sure the squirrel that took them feels really guilty now.
Aug 2, 2011 at 4:06 pm rating: 69
#5
berge
Would a tomato splattered on the sign be too much?
Aug 2, 2011 at 4:23 pm rating: 35
#6
kelly
Aren’t they asking the thief to leave the one that is left on the plant…not return one?
Aug 2, 2011 at 4:35 pm rating: 37
#7
kelly
Also, it’s funny that Amy has a lack of grammar in the sentence where she makes fun of lack of grammar.
Aug 2, 2011 at 4:36 pm rating: 10
#8
Jenn
Probably raccoons that got them.
Aug 2, 2011 at 5:44 pm rating: 5
#9
Chad
Those tomatoes were fucking delicious.
Aug 2, 2011 at 6:28 pm rating: 20
#10
Sally
I think there is one tomato left, and the writer is asking permission to eat it herself. The writer doesn’t make it easy to figure out.
Aug 2, 2011 at 6:29 pm rating: 9
#11
Cubie
I was in Toronto last year and noticed a similar note. Maybe it’s the same garden!
Perhaps years of having their tomatoes stolen have driven them to insanity?
Aug 2, 2011 at 6:35 pm rating: 4
#12
Kathleen
How do they know it wasn’t an animal? That happens pretty regularly.
Aug 2, 2011 at 6:43 pm rating: 2
#13
farmer ted
when you decide to grow food and you put a lot of time, money and effort into seeing results, but somehow, despite all your best efforts, you are thwarted, it tends to make you a little crazy, yes.
So I empathize here, but I must admit, I have never displayed a sign like this. I get my release by throwing rocks at the squirrels.
Aug 2, 2011 at 7:22 pm rating: 25
#14
LGH
Makes me realise I should have left a passive aggressive note out for the scrub turkeys that demolished my veggie patch just as everything was almost ready to harvest. They waited for stuff to ripen, I can imagine them dropping in every day while I was out assessing their future meal readiness & critiquing my gardening skills. I could have written something pithy about Asian Lilly Beetles & deterred them…
Aug 2, 2011 at 7:32 pm rating: 11
#15
This or That
I feel like I’m reading one of those signs written by someone who speaks English as a second language, and not very well. Maybe they wrote this whole thing out in their native tongue and then translated it to English using Babblefish. That’s the only logical explanation for this bizzarity.
Aug 2, 2011 at 9:19 pm rating: 2
#16
havingfitz
I have this uncontrollable urge to steal the last tomato and write a big, cheery “Nope!” on the sign next to her request to keep it.
Aug 2, 2011 at 10:02 pm rating: 7
#17
Canthz_B
I feel so bad for the second-generation tomatoes who’ll read this sign.
They’ll know for sure the first-born is always the favorite.
Aug 3, 2011 at 12:43 am rating: 22
#18
Grant
Here’s a corn cob to shove up your ass.
Aug 3, 2011 at 3:41 am rating: 2
#19
startup
You win this round, Mr. Bond. Until we meet again I suggest you begin a quest for Asian lily beetle poison antidote. Mwwaahaha!
Aug 3, 2011 at 10:27 am rating: 5
#20
Army of Words
When I was growing up, my dad was an avid gardener and I was amazed at how much of it was stolen. One morning I left the house to go to school and saw a woman reach over the fence and pluck a watermelon up and go on her merry way.
Aug 3, 2011 at 2:03 pm rating: 10
#21
kermit
From the handwriting, I think this person may have lived in Montreal at some point.
The Montreal note didn’t complain about stolen tomatoes, but was directed at dogs. Written in both English and French, it went something like,
“Dear dog, please don’t pee on me. The acid in your urine is killing me. Love, the plant”
Aug 3, 2011 at 5:18 pm rating: 2
#22
Queen Bee
Maybe I should leave a sign like this on my apple tree; my neighbors are constantly taking apples off it in the fall. I sort of figure that them taking them while they are still green is it’s own just desserts though. [It is NOT a Granny Smith tree; they're just not ripe yet. A fact which my neighbors don't seem to know.]
Aug 3, 2011 at 9:12 pm rating: 1
#23
Lindsey
I find it strange that a person making a point to not speak ill of other races complains about an Asian lily infestation…
Aug 3, 2011 at 9:55 pm rating: 2
#24
hogsatemysister
Tomato thieves are the scum of the universe. And uber intense tomato growers are to be feared.
Aug 3, 2011 at 10:54 pm rating: 2
#25
s
i *think* the plea to save the ‘last tomato’ was for the seeds… but, i don’t understand the racial/young people bit..
Aug 4, 2011 at 2:30 am rating: 5
#26
anonymouse
Right after the note writer rants about making racist remarks, s/he starts in on Asian lillies!
A bit of pot calling the kettle dark grey, don’t you think?
Aug 5, 2011 at 1:16 pm rating: 0
#27
Dorjän
What’s ironic is that I find kelly’s grammar wanting as well!
Aug 8, 2011 at 9:45 am rating: 0
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