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And what’s the magic word?

August 4th, 2011 · 27 comments

From a frat house in Denton, Texas…

STAY THE FUCK OUT Please

to an alley in Sydney, Australia…

Do not throw rubbish here [fucker!!!] PLEASE

back to a dorm room in Richmond, Virginia…

Please - DON'T SLAM THE FUCKING DOOR -thanks :)

…the notion of “minding your manners” takes a few somewhat compromising turns along the way.

related: Please, body hair is unsanitary (source: webmd.com)

 

FILED UNDER: college life · door-slamming · fratboys · garbage · pleasantries as afterthought · pointlessly self-censored profanity


27 responses so far ↓

  • #1   JetJackson

    Fuck just doesn’t have the same punch anymore.

    Vogue magazine says Cunt is the new Fuck.

    Aug 4, 2011 at 10:01 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

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  • #2   JetJackson

    When I lived in Dublin the Irish would often say Feck, which was totally inoffensive. Fecking this, fecking that. Even in the workplace I would hear the manager speaking to clients on the phone how situation x was fecked.

    Change the eh to uh and you open a can of worms. The Irish get all Uh-uh-No you didn’t!

    P.s. I hope my original comment gets approved, I think dropping the C-bomb is an uh-uh-no you didn’t in the PAN world.

    Aug 4, 2011 at 10:08 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

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    • #2.1   Zsa

      We do the same with “flipping” in my family. It fools no one- not even my 7 year old nephew. And really, how can you tell a 7 year old not to say “I hate that flipping neighbor!” when they argue “but it’s NOT a bad word…” Sigh. I’m determined to just cuss. That way my kids know for sure what words will get their mouth washed out with soap.

      Aug 5, 2011 at 12:10 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       

    • #2.2   Rattus

      Another site I post at has an absolute no swearing policy, but having a mouth like a truck driver, I need an alternative, so freakin’ it is. I don’t know why the people over there don’t understand that, for all intents and purposes, “freakin’” and “fucking” mean exactly the same thing. And trying to have a conversation with any one of a number of pursed mouth prudes over there regarding fuck/copulate, piss/urinate, shit/defecate, and how they’re willing to use the latter but not the former, even though their meanings are identical, is an exercise in frustration.

      Aug 5, 2011 at 8:47 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       

    • #2.3   divaandwriter bang

      Here in New York City we often use “freaking” as a substitute for “fucking.” This is ironic, because New Yorkers are not exactly known for holding back when it comes to personal expression in speech.

      Aug 5, 2011 at 8:58 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       

    • #2.4   Jimmy James

      Sometimes I like to go the Monty Python route and use “intercourse” to make things little absurd. “Augh! I hate this intercoursing traffic!” But mostly I’ve made myself kid-friendly since my high school and college days by using 1890′s prospector swear words like “dagnabbit” and “consarn it.”

      Aug 5, 2011 at 9:38 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       

    • #2.5   Canthz_B bang

      Oh, shoot, this whole thing has gotten me discombobulated.

      Aug 5, 2011 at 10:11 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       

    • #2.6   The Elf

      I guess we can strike “fuck” from the seven words you can’t say in a PAN.

      Aug 9, 2011 at 8:10 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
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  • #3   Quite Contrary

    You don’t have to say please to get me to stay out of a frat house in Texas.

    Aug 4, 2011 at 10:48 pm   rating: 53  small thumbs up

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  • #4   snee

    mind your fucking manners!

    Aug 4, 2011 at 10:57 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

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    • #4.1   Lindsey

      Someone didn’t say “please”…

      Aug 5, 2011 at 8:21 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
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  • #5   Canthz_B bang

    “I’m really pissed off, but I’m still a really nice person, Motherfucker.”

    Yeah, that works. I’ll put this sign up just like this

    Aug 5, 2011 at 1:56 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

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    • #5.1   bowloftoast

      …with a hammer and nails, no less.

      Aug 5, 2011 at 10:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
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  • #6   Grant

    Pretty please, with sh***** sugar on.

    Aug 5, 2011 at 5:33 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

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  • #7   Megan

    I was once stage manager for a play at our local community theatre. I kept getting complaints from the director (who was sitting in the audience during rehearsals) that whispering and laughing could be heard coming from backstage. So I kindly said: “Hey, please be quiet.” One of the actors said that I need to just yell “SHUT THE F*** UP!” Not being the sort of person who uses such forceful language I loudly whispered “Shut the f*** up…please?” Thankfully they found it so funny (pathetic?) that they obeyed.

    Aug 5, 2011 at 8:07 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

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    • #7.1   divaandwriter bang

      Stage managers in professional theaters don’t have to worry about cussing or not cussing. Professional actors know that the stage manager is the boss backstage. One withering look and a sharp word or two of command, with or without four-letter words, are all that are needed to keep order.

      Aug 5, 2011 at 8:46 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
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  • #8   Team Redhead

    These are honestly my favorite fecking PANs in a long time. They say so much with so little.

    Aug 5, 2011 at 8:56 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

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  • #9   berge bang

    That first one is clearly missing a smiley face.

    Aug 5, 2011 at 11:59 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

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  • #10   shepd

    I want more life, fucker!

    Aug 6, 2011 at 12:58 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

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    • #10.1   it's naptime

      I ain’t done, yeah.

      Aug 6, 2011 at 1:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
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  • #11   shwo! bang

    I assume the fucking door is green…

    Aug 6, 2011 at 9:46 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

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  • #12   matt

    Please do not slam the fucking door. Disobey this notice and you will be crucified to this door with the notice pinned onto your body as an example to others, thanks : )

    Aug 7, 2011 at 7:50 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

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  • #13   nocturnesthesia

    Heh… college PA notes are the best. Especially the ones on the female communal bathroom, they were all fancy gel-pen colors and asterisked swears and “please” “thx” “xoxo” …

    Aug 7, 2011 at 10:45 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

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  • #14   Matt!

    I was immediately reminded of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GV_gdLLZPj0

    Aug 7, 2011 at 11:37 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

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    • #14.1   FeRD bang

      :shock: OMG! That…
      …is the MOST. AWESOME. THING. EVAR!! :eek:

      Aug 8, 2011 at 12:15 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
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  • #15   Ruby

    The last “fucking” one immediately takes me back to Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist and Squigglevision.

    Aug 8, 2011 at 12:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

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  • #16   bizzle

    I’m really glad Denton was represented. It’s nice to see our hipster PAness on the interwebs

    Aug 9, 2011 at 3:31 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

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