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So, Mom, what you’re telling me is to cover up with a latex catsuit?

August 7th, 2011 · 34 comments

Joy’s mother is the type who says things like, “Joy! CLEAVAGE is not going to get you a JOB!” In one her more subtle moves, Joy says, “My mom clipped this ‘article’ out of her favorite nutjob newsletter and mailed it to me —with annotations to be sure I didn’t miss the point.”

JOY, read please.

Thanks for the new role model, Mom! Because, as everyone knows, Michelle Pfeiffer’s career has been propelled more than anything else by her “prudishness.”

related: Grandma’s advice: Be more like Bieber.

FILED UNDER: a matter of taste · Moms & Dads · Mother-daughter notes

34 responses so far ↓

  • #1   katie_2256

    So glad I don’t have a mother like this!

    Aug 7, 2011 at 7:16 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

  • #2   Jessi

    this is America… women who aren’t f**kable are invisible… therefore yes, Joy, cleavage will get you that job!

    Aug 7, 2011 at 7:17 pm   rating: 55  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Oh Geeee

      And I thought my current unemployment was a result of the bad economy. Ya know, my mommy says I am very pretty… It’s just all on the inside.

      Aug 7, 2011 at 9:45 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   Jimmy James

      What about Sue Storm from the Fantastic Four, who is both?

      Aug 8, 2011 at 10:56 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #3   Quite Contrary

    Well, duh. Look how far being prudish got Kim kardashian and Paris Hilton.

    Aug 7, 2011 at 7:28 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   park rose

      I think Paris Hilton’s money got her noticed. She’s got a nice bod and behaves outlandishly, but without the money, how few would care, or even do care now?

      Aug 8, 2011 at 5:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #4   Nonworkingmonkey

    Me, I keep my modesty under my fez

    Aug 7, 2011 at 7:35 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   zenvelo

      you mean you don’t shave the fez from your naughty bits?

      Aug 7, 2011 at 7:42 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #5   Kay


    Hidden treasure?
    Lost treasure?
    Sunken treasure?

    Aug 7, 2011 at 7:47 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #6   Me

    There’s a huge difference between a plunging neckline and someone’s cooter out for the world to see.

    Not this site’s best work. I rate it a 7/10.

    Aug 7, 2011 at 8:34 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Hmmm

      There’s a huge difference between sideboob and “modesty”.

      Not the best comment I’ve seen. 6/10.

      Aug 8, 2011 at 1:09 am   rating: 70  small thumbs up

    • #6.2   Angela

      I gave it 3/10. The judgmental attitude and use of the word “cooter” caused point detractions.

      Aug 9, 2011 at 8:34 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

  • #7   Joshua

    Hollywood modesty is graded on a curve. This looks incredibly tame compared to any Maxim shoot all the kids are doing these days.

    Aug 7, 2011 at 9:05 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   The Elf

      Two curves, I’d say.

      Aug 8, 2011 at 11:47 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #8   Divvitar

    There’s a huge, gaping chasm between being modest and being a prude.

    Aug 7, 2011 at 9:22 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   mamason bang

      I’d make a joke about a huge, gaping chasm here, but I’m much too modest.

      Aug 8, 2011 at 2:24 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

  • #9   kermit

    What’s the name of this nutjob newsletter?

    My favorite part of the ‘article’ is how it makes it sound like Pfeiffer worked for a supermarket and then stopped because she married a successful TV show writer/producer.

    Aug 7, 2011 at 9:26 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   pony girl

      It looks a lot like The Watchtower.

      My grandma was a Jehovah’s witness, and she used to send those to me, with items underlined, and little notes in the margins.

      Aug 7, 2011 at 10:32 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

  • #10   iola

    Holy crap, I had to double check to make sure this wasn’t sent in by my sis-in-law. She’s named Joy, and everything about this gal’s mom sounds EXACTLY like my mom-in-law, right down to the “nutjob newsletters”, clipping and mailing, the notation and handwriting. Seriously spooky.

    Aug 7, 2011 at 9:47 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #11   Adriana

    I’m a little prudish by nature, but the more people tell me that I should be prudish, the more I wish I were a huge slut.

    And I second the “glad my mother isn’t like this” post.

    Aug 7, 2011 at 11:09 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Rattus

      I have to admit, not having standards is remarkably freeing. Wheeeeee!!!!

      Aug 8, 2011 at 8:05 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

  • #12   Juniper

    Pray for her???

    Aug 8, 2011 at 4:12 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Lauren

      To be less prudish?

      Aug 8, 2011 at 4:57 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #12.2   Nahhh bang

      Maybe it’s meant like “Pray for rain,” as in, “I want rain,” or “Dear god make it rain or I’ll shoot up the neighborhood.”

      Aug 8, 2011 at 8:15 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #12.3   Seitz

      Ya know, I’ve spent most of my life NOT praying for Michelle Pfeifer, and it seems like she’s done pretty well without my help. I’m pretty comfortable continuing my tradition of not praying for her. I think she’ll manage.

      Aug 8, 2011 at 2:44 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

  • #13   Luke

    “Hollywood star she is.”

    Who wrote this? Yoda?!

    Aug 8, 2011 at 8:36 am   rating: 32  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   The Elf

      Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the sideboob, and a powerful ally it is.

      Aug 8, 2011 at 11:49 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

  • #14   procrastinating

    Michelle Pfeiffer’s cleavage didn’t get her a job, either, unless it was the lack of it. Maybe she’s telling her daughter to invest in breast reduction?

    I say this in a semi-proud, ‘dont-need-the-bra-for-the-support-either’ kind of way.

    Aug 8, 2011 at 8:51 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #15   mutzali

    Pray for Michelle Pfeiffer? Like “Oh, God, give me Michelle Pfeiffer for my birthday!”???

    Aug 8, 2011 at 1:11 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

  • #16   brad

    So, the girl’s mom wants her to do something other than stripping..? What does she do that would prompt her Ma to send the article in the first place?

    Aug 8, 2011 at 11:04 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #17   BBB

    There’s nothing wrong with being prudish or modest. Is Michelle Pfeiffer the best example of that? Meh, that’s clearly up for discussion. But still, the general concept of keeping your body private is not a bad idea. Once upon a time modesty was in vogue and sluts were outcasts.

    Aug 9, 2011 at 8:49 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Rattus

      And once upon a time blacks and whites couldn’t drink at the same fountain/ride on the same end of the bus/marry. What’s your point?

      Aug 9, 2011 at 9:06 am   rating: 33  small thumbs up

  • #18   hohum

    Ugh modesty.

    Yet another tool in the many to keep women under control, and under the scrutiny of the society, pardon, mindless gossipy mob.

    Funny how men’s bodies are viewed in a non-sexual, functional way without their value being diminished by how much skin area they show or not.

    But be a woman, and that’s all you’re reduced to. Your morals and value being related to skin.

    Like seriously I don’t want to sound like a frothing feminist but gag me with a spoon.

    Aug 9, 2011 at 11:31 am   rating: 33  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Rattus

      Right on sister man/brother woman…sorry, can’t determine the gender, so going for baroque.

      Aug 9, 2011 at 11:37 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up


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