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Closed due to impending anarchy

August 10th, 2011 · 44 comments

No, the London riots aren’t really “funny,” but Rachael wasn’t the only one who found the note of gallows humor in this notice — from a U.K. Subway sandwich shop — to be worth a second glance.

Due to the imminent collapse of society we regret to announce we are closing at 6pm tonight.

Coincidentally, on the very same day, Rebecca in Cincinnati snapped a photo of this sign — which seemed to me like something straight out of The Handmaid’s Tale. Despite the dramatic wording, Rebecca says the chaos at hand here was actually a missing replica T-Rex tooth from a display at The Creation Museum (where she was guilt-tripped into going by her less irreverent extended family).

Temporarily out of order. (We live in a fallen world) We will restore order here as soon as possible.

related: Are you ready for your Rapture party?

 

FILED UNDER: Cincinnati · don't blame us · U.K. · WTF?


44 responses so far ↓

  • #1   knine22

    i sent in the links to the DailyMail image of this sign and the article…
    ¡ɥɐǝʎ ɐoɥM

    … and this is my first first! ЯAWK!

    Aug 10, 2011 at 8:38 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

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    • #1.1   JetJackson

      Oh, I want to BE you!

      Aug 10, 2011 at 10:11 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       

    • #1.2   unsatisfied

      I want to know how knine22 got that R to go backwards….you know, just like Toys R Us.

      see, I can’t do it….

      Aug 11, 2011 at 11:29 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
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  • #2   katie_2256

    I think the facebook group sums it up nicely … “Smashing up your own city because you have the IQ of a ham sandwich”

    Aug 10, 2011 at 9:26 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

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    • #2.1   spoko

      People who smash up cities other than their own, though, have high IQs? Bwuh?

      Aug 16, 2011 at 7:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
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  • #3   Danny

    I’ve thought about going to the Creation Museum. But then I realized that giving that much money (admission is like $18 a person) to those religious nuts can only lead to bad things. So, instead, I just go to the mall across town.

    Aug 10, 2011 at 9:28 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

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    • #3.1   Rebecca

      It’s actually $25 for adults … I’m very glad I wasn’t paying. That’s also not including any “shows” you want to see on the subject …

      Aug 15, 2011 at 5:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
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  • #4   Canthz_B bang

    Ah, The Creation Museum.

    The only creation that’s true within its walls is that its walls have been created.

    Its Curator needs to find a cure for ignorance and self-administer. :roll:

    Aug 10, 2011 at 11:38 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

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    • #4.1   philulz bang

      Aaaah the zealous atheist. Such a pitiable creature.

      Seriously though, make the judgements when you’re dead already. There are plenty of secular museums, no reason why there shouldn’t be non-secular ones too.

      Disclaimer: Nope, I’m not some mad religious dude, just think that people on both sides of the fence are too narrow minded.

      Aug 11, 2011 at 7:39 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       

    • #4.2   Kayte

      Eeeexcept the museum is a blatant hoax that says cavemen road dinosaurs like Fred Flintstone and passes that off as genuine fact.
      It’s the result of one nut job who’s trying to live out the futility of “Inherit the Wind”.
      Ergo, it’s like trying to take the Westboro gang seriously. You only get two steps in the door before you piss yourself laughing. (And, like Westboro, the curator has just about the same amount of respect for any who disagree with him (Christians included): I HAET YOU ALL!)

      The guy’s nuttier than a ball of walnut cheese spread.

      Aug 11, 2011 at 8:26 am   rating: 38  small thumbs up

       

    • #4.3   Rattus

      Whether one believes in god or not is not the issue with Creationism or “Intelligent” Design. While I am a staunch atheist, I have no quarrel with those who choose to believe in some sort of invisible puppet master. However, anyone who believes that the world is six thousand years old and that humans once lived with dinosaurs is, quite simply, a fucking idiot.

      Aug 11, 2011 at 8:36 am   rating: 57  small thumbs up

       

    • #4.4   Canthz_B bang

      philutz, Secular Humanists are not the same as atheists but we have one thing at least in common…we both believe that in order to be called a Museum an institution should preserve and educate about the truth.
      Exhibitions of what we’d like to believe in spite of the truth are more properly called Circuses.

      Aug 11, 2011 at 10:31 am   rating: 30  small thumbs up

       

    • #4.5   *snerk*

      Secular museums are about expanding the mind. The Creation Museum requires that you check yours at the door.

      Aug 11, 2011 at 10:43 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       

    • #4.6   Canthz_B bang

      Far from being narrow-minded, seular museums change as our understanding of the truth changes. They’re based upon the facts as we come to know them.
      the Creation “Museum” is based upon immutable fact which is a backward concept which would have us ignore anything new we have learned contradictory to that which we happen to believe at any given time.

      Welcome back Dark Ages. What would we do without you?

      Aug 11, 2011 at 11:01 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       

    • #4.7   kermit

      In all fairness, “museum” is a pretty loose term when there are such things as wax museums and museums of old timey oddities. These kinds of museums don’t claim to educate the public on any kind of truth, but call themselves museums anyway.

      Aug 14, 2011 at 12:17 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       

    • #4.8   Rob

      Kayte, I am certain that if cavemen did ride dinosaurs, they would have preferred to have roads on which to ride them. Then they would have rode dinosaurs on the road.

      Aug 15, 2011 at 12:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       

    • #4.9   Canthz_B bang

      kermit, wax museums preserve the images of actual people. Museums of tiny oddities preserve the memory of actual tiny oddities. Neither present an opinion about faith. Museums present, preserve and educate about facts, not faiths.
      As facts change, museum exhibits change. Since faith cannot change, faith museums are stagnant. You can’t learn anything by remaining stagnant.

      Perhaps this may be of help to you, perhaps not: Museum…A building, place, or institution devoted to the acquisition, conservation, study, exhibition, and educational interpretation of objects having scientific, historical, or artistic value.

      You will note there’s nothing in that definition about telling people what they want to hear or about making money off of telling them what they would like to believe.

      Aug 16, 2011 at 10:40 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
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  • #5   boxes

    What, the world is fallen? Can’t someone just, y’know, prop it back up?

    Aug 10, 2011 at 11:58 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

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    • #5.1   emcd

      Nope – it’s fallen and it can’t get up!

      Aug 11, 2011 at 8:44 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
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  • #6   Canthz_B bang

    Subway, eat fresh…until 6PM tonight when society is due to collapse.

    Aug 11, 2011 at 12:12 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

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  • #7   Canthz_B bang

    Subway, your Last Meal Deal!!

    Free super-size…if you have time to eat it before the apocalypse.

    Aug 11, 2011 at 12:14 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

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  • #8   The Elf

    So, are riots the exact opposite of a PAN?

    Aug 11, 2011 at 6:35 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

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    • #8.1   emcd

      Team Active Aggression?!

      Aug 11, 2011 at 7:46 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
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  • #9   emcd

    I hear the price for a replica T-Rex tooth on the Christian black market is just about a pound of flesh.

    Aug 11, 2011 at 7:50 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

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  • #10   TAG

    Only 3 attempts at wit? Come on Canthz, you can do better than that!

    Aug 11, 2011 at 8:02 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

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    • #10.1   Nunavut Guy

      And zero attempts for you.Probably the best you can do.

      Aug 11, 2011 at 7:51 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
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  • #11   The Elf

    I’m not the only one who sings “Anarchy In The UK” whenever the news comes on, am I?

    Aug 11, 2011 at 8:04 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

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    • #11.1   Rattus

      I wanna beeeeeeeee…..anarchy

      Aug 11, 2011 at 8:40 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       

    • #11.2   emcd

      Get pissed – DESTROY!!!!

      Aug 11, 2011 at 8:42 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
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  • #12   Jimmy James

    Due to the imminent collapse of society we will stop selling sandwiches at 6 PM. We will reopen at 8 PM to sell gasoline, water, canned food, firearms, and spiky leather outfits to make you look like extras from The Road Warrior. No cash or credit- barter only.

    Aug 11, 2011 at 8:44 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

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    • #12.1   Canthz_B bang

      The entrepreneurial spirit will survive the fall of society.

      – Add-Ham Smith

      Aug 11, 2011 at 10:40 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       

    • #12.2   The Elf

      Who run London town?

      Aug 11, 2011 at 11:28 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
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  • #13   *snerk*

    I’m actually impressed that a Subway employee spelled “imminent” correctly.

    Aug 11, 2011 at 10:48 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

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    • #13.1   Jimmy James

      They’re much more educated than burger flippers- they’re sandwich artists!

      (Now make like The Persistence of Memory and melt my provolone!)

      Aug 11, 2011 at 11:36 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
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  • #14   *snerk*

    Also, I’ve just been watching a lot of back episodes of Doctor Who, so the first sign, in particular, seems perfectly reasonable to me.

    Aug 11, 2011 at 10:48 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

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  • #15   Daivd

    Eugh, why are you giving the Mail expsoure?

    Aug 11, 2011 at 12:43 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

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  • #16   Rachael

    LOL i sent in the first sign! :D

    Aug 11, 2011 at 12:43 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

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  • #17   Lucy

    You read the Daily Mail? No wonder society’s going down the shitter.

    Aug 12, 2011 at 1:05 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

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  • #18   kermit

    Maybe I’m over-thinking this but if you anticipate that rioters are going to break into your store anyway, wouldn’t you just keep the store open and maybe bribe them with sandwiches?

    All the sandwiches they could eat wouldn’t cost as a much as new windows/furniture.

    Aug 14, 2011 at 12:22 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

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    • #18.1   The Elf

      There’s an employee safety issue to consider, too. It isn’t just about material destruction.

      Aug 15, 2011 at 6:32 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
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  • #19   fieryscotslass

    At the risk of being considered parochial, I’d just like to point out that despite the Daily Fail’s headline they weren’t UK riots, but were English riots.

    Aug 14, 2011 at 5:28 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

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  • #20   Baby Games

    That is very interesting,cool

    Aug 17, 2011 at 12:00 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

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  • #21   Chrissy

    That sign was in Manchester, not London.

    Aug 18, 2011 at 3:43 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

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  • #22   unfortunate fact

    That sign also appeared on a broken toilet in the ladies’ room at the Creation Museum when I was there in November. They also have little plaques that say “Thou Shalt Not Touch! Please!” on some of the displays.
    Needless to say, my visit there was one of the most scarring experiences of my life.

    Aug 26, 2011 at 11:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

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