Writes an office worker in Alabama: “A co-worker attends a weekly cooking class in town, and this week they made a Cinnamon Roll Casserole. The co-worker decided to bring it in to work and share it with the office.” The nerve of some people!
related: Loose lips shrink hips
175 responses so far ↓
#1
KST
Someone needs to tell Jeff “eat me, instead of the casserole, you sanctimonious a-hole.”
Aug 14, 2011 at 4:13 pm rating: 90
#2
Angela
I hope never to be invited to one of Jeff’s dinner parties.
Aug 14, 2011 at 4:13 pm rating: 90
#3
jellydonut
Jeff, how about you learn some self-control instead of blaming everyone around you for your own problems? Fuck off.
Aug 14, 2011 at 4:14 pm rating: 90
#4
Molly
I would never last in this workplace considering my love of sharing “special” brownies and rum soaked ladyfingers. They are all so fortunate, though, to have Jeff looking out for their wellbeing. Apparently they cannot self-manage without his wise direction…
Aug 14, 2011 at 4:16 pm rating: 90
#5
astounder
Um, this is one of those things that I would probably take to HR, and I am a big fan of letting ridiculous bullshit slide.
Aug 14, 2011 at 4:17 pm rating: 90
#6
David Larsen
the blatant disregard of spelling and grammar is most offensive to me.
Aug 14, 2011 at 4:19 pm rating: 90
#7
anonymouse
Apparently Anorexic Jeff has not mastered the concept of controlling moving his hand to his mouth.
Aug 14, 2011 at 4:20 pm rating: 90
#8
Bex
Well, I would think Brining the food would also make it somewhat salty as well as high in calories. Salt is a killer, people!
Aug 14, 2011 at 4:20 pm rating: 90
#9
Zinnia
I would have no part of a cinnamon roll casserole soaked in brine; trying to watch my sodium intake.
Aug 14, 2011 at 4:21 pm rating: 90
#10
WickedSteppMom
#1-Now I’m going to have to Google “Cinnamon Roll Casserole” b/c that sounds awesome!
#2-How can Jeff eat anything with his head that far up his own a*s?
Aug 14, 2011 at 4:22 pm rating: 90
#11
Jenn50
SO….FREAKING….ANGRY!!! Hey JEFF! Don’t worry, that delightful food wasn’t for you anyway. I don’t need some self-appointed food cop telling me what EVERYONE in the office can and cannot eat. GAHHHH!
Aug 14, 2011 at 4:22 pm rating: 90
#12
Elocin
Some women In my office tried to tell me what I could have for lunch after they joined weight watchers. My words to them – it’s about your self-control, not controlling others. And these chips are FUCKING DELICIOUS! Nom Nom Nom!!
Aug 14, 2011 at 4:23 pm rating: 90
#13
Dee
Uh-oh, don’t tell Jeff but after reading this, I really want that Cinnamon Roll Casserole recipe!
Aug 14, 2011 at 4:33 pm rating: 90
#14
Stacey
I kind of want that recipe.
Aug 14, 2011 at 4:42 pm rating: 90
#15
Lori
“As you know”??? What a jerk!
Aug 14, 2011 at 4:47 pm rating: 90
#16
Alexis
Dear Jeff,
Go suck an egg.
Aug 14, 2011 at 4:49 pm rating: 90
#17
Jen
Did he really call the casserole baker “fat and unhealthy?” What a dickweed. Yeah, next time bring his primal eating hipster ass some locally harvested dandelion greens.
Aug 14, 2011 at 4:49 pm rating: 90
#18
mrazda71
Either A, Jeff didn’t get a share B, Jeff is on a diet and cant control HIMSELF or C, Jeff doesn’t like Cinnamon … Either way … Stop being a party pooper Jeffery Weffery!
Aug 14, 2011 at 4:50 pm rating: 90
#19
Buck
One reason I could never work in an office setting ever again. I’m afraid that I would neglect my work to make Jeff my special project and since I’m a very good cook and specialize in desserts and sweets each day there would be a “high calorie” party outside his door or cubicle. Of course, it sounds like Jeff is one of those people who probably has joined Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers. There is no bigger ass than the “converted” who feel the need to police the rest of the world.
As for the Cinnamon Roll Casserole… count me in on the recipe too! That sounds… amazing.
Aug 14, 2011 at 4:52 pm rating: 90
#20
Callyn
I suddenly not only want that recipe, but I’d like to force feed it to every Jeff I know in hopes that I might be shoving it down this self-righteous asshole’s fat-loathing throat.
Aug 14, 2011 at 4:52 pm rating: 90
#21
Debalina
I demand “satistifaction” (my new favorite word) in the form of cinnamon-roll casserole immediately!
Aug 14, 2011 at 4:56 pm rating: 90
#22
Smokey
I would spend whatever it takes to have the break room wall to wall desserts.
Aug 14, 2011 at 5:02 pm rating: 90
#23
Buck
I found this recipe for Cinnamon Roll Casserole. Sounds interesting but I think I can improve on this out of the can stuff.
http://berealmom.blogspot.com/2009/06/cinnamon-roll-casserole.html
Aug 14, 2011 at 5:03 pm rating: 90
#24
El Jefe
Tigers love pepper. They hate cinnamon.
Aug 14, 2011 at 5:22 pm rating: 90
#25
Get on your bikes and ride
How very thoughtful of Jeff to give J– an option to continue his sinful pursuit of sharing cinnamon roll casseroles, just so long as J– wishes others to be fat and unhealthy. I would be good with that.
Aug 14, 2011 at 5:27 pm rating: 90
#26
Adriana
I’ve been on a low-carbohydrate diet for three years and I’ve dropped 85 pounds as of today. There’s no bigger convert to the “stop eating so much fucking sugar if you want to be healthy” lifestyle than I.
That being said, I never go around giving unsolicited advice, preaching the virtues of my diet like I have it all figured out. Ultimately, we’re all responsible for our own choices. If someone brings in unhealthy food to your workplace, the decision to eat it lies with you. It’s not someone else’s responsibility to help you fit in your skinny jeans. So, Jeff, kindly suck on my girl balls.
Aug 14, 2011 at 5:30 pm rating: 90
#27
Kim
Wow. I am a long-term member of Weight Watchers (lost and kept off 30 lbs for 3 years now) and I would never in a million years try to dictate my food preferences on others. Unbelieveable. Do you know how many cake parties I had to sit through at my last job? About 2 per week. Big deal. I just didn’t eat cake. Even when people pressured me I still didn’t eat it. I would just stand around with a cup of coffe and chat with everyone while they had their cake. If you have that much of an actual food addiction that you can’t handle being around some cake, then get some professional help and learn how to deal with it because life will continue to go on around you and the vast majority of people enjoy cake. Either that or go live in a cave by yourself somewhere.
Aug 14, 2011 at 5:34 pm rating: 90
#28
RedDelicious
I say keep bringing in everything you want to bring in with a special bowl marked “Jeff” (or Supreme Dick, whichever won’t get you fired) in which something entirely healthy and probably unappealing resides (i.e., celery sticks and the like). Therefore, you’re not being discriminative. In fact, you’re giving him the opportunity to exercise self control and you prove your point.
Aug 14, 2011 at 5:41 pm rating: 90
#29
SamIamurai
Someone needs to force feed this guy some drugs and alcohol.
Aug 14, 2011 at 5:46 pm rating: 90
#30
boxes
The submitter ought to bring in donuts or something, and write this on the box:
“WARNING TO JEFF: SUGAR INSIDE: RESIST TEMPTATION”
Aug 14, 2011 at 6:30 pm rating: 90
#31
havingfitz
I work in an office full of happily fat people, myself among them. Anyone who brings in ‘healthy’ food runs the risk of possibly being eaten themselves.
Seriously, is Jeff actually using the ‘mini-skirt defense’ on Cinnamon Roll Casserole? “The ***** was asking for it, coming on to me like that, dripping with frosting! It’s not my fault!”
Aug 14, 2011 at 6:30 pm rating: 90
#32
Jimmy James
Thankfully we don’t have a Jeff in our office. I love bringing cookies (and the occasional cake, pie, or bread) to work. It’s good because I like baking and trying new recipes, but I don’t want to eat a whole batch by myself. Although I like the mental image of bringing something other than a dessert, if that’s what would make Jeff happy. Just imagine pulling out a pot and some tongs, and asking your coworkers, “So, who wants spaghetti!?”
Aug 14, 2011 at 7:45 pm rating: 90
#33
Yeah
$10 says Jeff has a “good excuse” for not being in a counseling program. He cannot force everyone to accommodate him and ultimately his lack of self-control will catch up with him.
Aug 14, 2011 at 7:54 pm rating: 90
#34
jennyrose76
Wow. I will never understand what gives people the impression that unsolicited “advice” is welcome and/or appreciated. “Dear Jeff, if you do not want the noms, you can just not eat them. Other people like goodies. So stop acting like the food police and nibble on a carrot stick or whatever. Sincerely, The Office.”
Aug 14, 2011 at 8:52 pm rating: 90
#35
kimbo
Is Jeff any sort of authority figure at this job? If not then I would promptly show up the next morning with another rich decadent treat for my co-workers to partake of. Nothing like a silent stfu to start the day.
Aug 14, 2011 at 9:54 pm rating: 90
#36
AnnT
I have a thin co-worker bring the same thing up in a weekly meeting.
I never ate the stuff that I made because I was on a low-sugar diet, but I love baking. She whined about me bringing homemade ice cream, rum soaked honey bun cakes, carrot cake, brownies, etc and it being bad for us even though she ate it too.
The entire office was mute.
The next week, I brought in some quinoa cooked in no sugar added apple juice and dried fruit. They were so pissed AT HER. She never spoke up again and I commenced my baking.
Aug 14, 2011 at 10:21 pm rating: 90
#37
oi
Hey! Some us of like to eat unhealthy food and live a little, you sugar nazi twat. Go eat your spinach soup under the rock and live us alone.
Aug 14, 2011 at 11:36 pm rating: 90
#38
Lucy
My colleague (and friend) has a little chart in Excel with all her calories and protein and all that bollocks that she fills in after every meal. She goes to the gym twice EVERY DAY and has lost a shitload of weight. What pisses me off though is that every time I eat something that’s not fruit or raw vegetables she goes on at me about how many calories there are in it and how I could eat 50 of for that amount, and hell she’d have to go to the gym for like TWO HOURS if she wanted to eat it…
So Jeff? Go fuck yourself. We don’t need anymore food police thanks.
Aug 15, 2011 at 1:05 am rating: 90
#39
beav
How about getting an email from a co-worker with the subject, “Quick Satisfaction”?
Aug 15, 2011 at 1:07 am rating: 90
#40
Dr_Know
That dude is captain of the S.S.Douche
Aug 15, 2011 at 4:47 am rating: 90
#41
Ivie G
I bet when she/he saw the subject line, they thought it was sexual! I would have!
Lucky for me, I guess, all my friends are skinny! So when I wanna dulge out on a cake, they are there for me! And when I decide that hitting 200 pounds is not good, they are there for me then too! SO no matter what I have their support and can talk to them about calorie intake or how I really wanna make sunshine cake for friday night!
On and Jeff… fuck off!
Aug 15, 2011 at 6:53 am rating: 90
#42
katie k
Woah, the main page is so overrun with ads that the content isn’t even visible. Oh, and one just popped up over this comment box as I typed. I’m guessing this is something the ad provider is doing and not you, so I thought I’d let you know. It’s pretty bad.
Aug 15, 2011 at 7:15 am rating: 90
#43
Wilma Jo
How can you dictate what food(s) to bring and/or share with others? What is this, Russia? Keep your opinions to yourself, eat your muesli and leave other people alone! What a turd! Bet no one wants any of his damn Grape Nuts…
Aug 15, 2011 at 7:17 am rating: 90
#44
Claudia
I wanted to read this, but couldn’t because there was a deodorant ad over top of it. Sounds like Jeff is a real doucher though.
Aug 15, 2011 at 7:40 am rating: 90
#45
jill
I once worked with a person who had major control issues (not only did she try to tell me how many calories were in my Chick-Fil-A sandwich, she also told me that I was on my phone too much and that I needed to stop wearing that color shirt because it didn’t “go”) and even she wouldn’t try to tell someone else to not bring in sugar and good stuff. This Jeff guy sounds like a real douche.
Aug 15, 2011 at 8:05 am rating: 90
#46
Slobber
My coworker is slowly killing himself with a junk food addiction. Diabetes, heart attack in the office, walking around on crutches because of foot ulcers.
But yeah, all you angry fatties are totally right, we have no right to withhold donuts from him, chastise him for sneaking candy, or discourage others from bringing in sweets that he won’t be able to resist. How dare we! We just get to watch as he destroys himself, as his body slowly quits on him and he leaves his child fatherless.
This is America, land of the freeeeee!! You’re not the fucking boss of me!
Aug 15, 2011 at 9:18 am rating: 90
#47
Zeee
Dude’s a self-righteous a-hole.
I’ve lost 138 pounds in the last two years, mainly by not eating sugar and chips. Sugar is MY issue – not my co-worker’s issue. Most of the people I know eat sugar. I don’t begrudge anyone (regardless of their size) for eating what they want. God knows I ate piles of sugary, fattening foods to get to my top weight. I ate it until I was ready to stop.
I am responsible for what I eat; my co-workers and my employer are not. If someone wants to be generous and bring in something yummy to share with everyone, that’s nice. I don’t have to join in the eating, but I can join in the party.
Aug 15, 2011 at 9:49 am rating: 90
#48
Yolanda
Wow, that workplace is gonna see an upsurge in tasty baked goods this year!
Aug 15, 2011 at 10:12 am rating: 90
#49
bookworm
Dear Jeff: If staying away from high-calorie foods is such a struggle for you, you may as well end it now, because the rest of the world is only going to continue eating delicious high-calorie foods.
Aug 15, 2011 at 10:24 am rating: 90
#50
Starfish
I just love the fact that Jeff is associating cinnamon-rolls with crack. And – I love the poster above who thinks that anyone who doesn’t want to be treated like a petulant child by co-workers in a professional work environment is obviously “an angry fatty.”
And – if he truly is turning into the King Henry VIII look-alike you make him out to be, not really sure what do say. You can’t give someone willpower by reinventing the world around him Truman Show style and trying to pretend the tempting foods don’t exist.
And – I’m gluten-free and won’t piss a stink in the office and demand no one ever have sandwiches or bring treats I couldn’t eat. Would I respectfully mention for party-planning I’d be bringing my own dish to share, not to be rude, but because I had to, sure. But would I send mean emails about all the meanies not eating my fruit salad, no.
AnnT – for me that quinoa dish sounds great – not for a dessert, but for a side dish at dinner – did you find the recipe online?
Aug 15, 2011 at 11:03 am rating: 90
#51
birdmommy
I don’t mind people bringing high calorie sweets into work – I just wish they’d quit bringing in alcohol and drugs… and sinning outside my cubicle.
Aug 15, 2011 at 11:36 am rating: 90
#52
Boiing
Yeah, it’s because of all those stores that have alchohol in plain sight that people drink so much, right? Or they take heroin because people sell heroin, right? People like Jeff have no self control and blame everyone but themselves for troubles of their own making.
Aug 15, 2011 at 12:00 pm rating: 90
#53
Fred
Dear Jeff,
Instead of whining about food you don’t have to eat, perhaps you should get life so you can live that instead of running everyone else’s. Of course, that would require growing a penis, so it may take a while.
Love, Fred.
Dear Mar,
Once Jeff grows that penis he can share it with you so you can finally relax.
Love, Fred.
Aug 15, 2011 at 12:58 pm rating: 90
#54
Becky
Im a recovering alcoholic and almost every type of event I go to (family gatherings, get togethers with friends, dinners, holiday parties ect.) there is a substantial amount of drinking. Iwould NEVER send an email like this. The world doesnt revolve around me and my issues.
Aug 15, 2011 at 1:02 pm rating: 90
#55
CardiFan
When my office did our own little version of Biggest Loser, all the participants tried to sabotage one another by bringing in delicious baked goods and leaving them in the break room.
As a non-participant in the competition, I have to say, I won.
Aug 15, 2011 at 1:18 pm rating: 90
#56
LCB
I’m just guessing, but from the wording in the email where he mentions “pursuits you might consider as sin” that maybe, just maybe, the baker in Jeff’s office has maybe been somewhat judgmental about other behaviors – like drinking alcohol.
I have to admit, I’d feel the same way. I’m a regular gym-goer, runner, healthy eater, etc, and I usually live and let live. But I also like the occasional drink or three, and there are people in my office who believe even just one is a sin – and they’re not shy about letting you know. Maybe Jeff has some similar officemates and is just tired of having their beliefs shoved down his throat, and he’s fighting back in a less-than-desirable way? I’m just saying – there could be some background here.
Aug 15, 2011 at 1:18 pm rating: 90
#57
Rattus
I don’t know what ads everyone else is getting, but my sidebar is for “Private Luxury Rehab”. I may like (okay, looovvve) my baked goods, but I don’t think that rehab is required just yet.
Aug 15, 2011 at 1:29 pm rating: 90
#58
Coworker
This iS my office and first off J has never been judgmental towards Jeff. This is actually par for the course for Jeff. It took about 30 minutes but we finally convinced Jeff this was very rude so here is his email from later that day.
From: Jeff
Sent: Wednesday, August 10, 2011 2:03 PM
To: J
Subject: apologies
Hey J,
I apologies for my comments earlier. It is none of my business what you do. I should not of got in to your business and I apologies. Please forgive me.
Thanks,
Jeff
Aug 15, 2011 at 1:39 pm rating: 90
#59
TKD
Brilliant! Jeff just guaranteed that the whole office would want to bring in tasty treats just to spite him. I am going to send that same note to my whole office!
Aug 15, 2011 at 1:55 pm rating: 90
#60
libertarian girl
If someone wants to eat a fat casserole they can eat any kind of godamn fat casserole they want. If someone wants to eat a poison cake…they should very well be able to eat a godamn poison cake. Who the eff does Jeff think he is….everyone’s MOMMY? Piss off, Jeff and gimmee my fat casserole.
Aug 15, 2011 at 2:57 pm rating: 90
#61
amazon
Alcohol is a sin? Didn’t Jesus turn water into wine?
Aug 15, 2011 at 3:58 pm rating: 90
#62
caroline
The main thing I got from this post: What is a cinnamon roll casserole and where can I get some????
Aug 15, 2011 at 4:59 pm rating: 90
#63
Allan Jones Sucks
Dear Jeff:
Go f#ck yourself.
Love,
Your Office
Aug 15, 2011 at 5:32 pm rating: 90
#64
DarkSock
I peed in a horse once.
Aug 15, 2011 at 11:12 pm rating: 90
#65
Daniel
Dear co-worker,
Sending out poorly edited notes only fuel some people’s addiction to ignorance and illiteracy, much the same way notes with egregious spelling errors and subject/verb agreement problems do. Please try to communicate with the same level of usage as the average 12 year-old, or risk the consequences of being mocked by everyone. Thanks,
Aug 16, 2011 at 1:07 am rating: 90
#66
Karl
Jeff sounds like the kind of douchebag that stands at his desk all day to burn a few extra calories, when he could jog and burn a lot of calories. It’s not his fault he doesn’t like to run, it’s hot outside.
As the great Garfield once said, “I’m not overweight, I’m under tall.” This guy sounds like he never met a fat free lasagna he didn’t like. Must be a blast at parties.
Aug 16, 2011 at 9:16 am rating: 90
#67
mondrago
Jeff needs a bitch slap. a few people at work bring things in from time to time. a fav of some of the guys is a tuna noodle casserole. i don’t like tuna. i am not going to fire off an angry email to the guy about his wife’s choice of food. i just don’t eat it. kinda simple. everyone gets a free lunch except me. but that is on ME, not on the guy or his wife who took the time to make it.
Aug 16, 2011 at 9:57 am rating: 90
#68
Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff
Team Jeff all the way. He seems like a massive douche bag who enjoys imposing his will on people and gets a thrill from denying people things that give them pleasure. I like that.
Aug 16, 2011 at 10:46 am rating: 90
#69
Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff
Also; ‘Cinnamon Role Casserole’….is that a thing now?
What a fascinating, modern age we live in.
Aug 16, 2011 at 10:49 am rating: 90
#70
Lili
Does cinnamon roll casserole sound a lot like bread pudding to anyone? I do like bread pudding.
This makes me think of what I’m teaching my daughters at the table. “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Try it, and then quietly move it to the side of your plate. If you can’t swallow that small bite, cough politely into your napkin. Don’t mention it and if someone asks if you liked it, say what you liked more. Someone worked hard to prepare that food, someone grew it, you could at least have the courtesy to keep your mouth shut.”
I am thrilled to say that it is actually working on the older one, finally. The little one is more like Jeff but we are working on her so that by the time she is working, she will be munching baby carrots from a tiny Ziploc in her pocket.
Or more likely, if she takes after me, gorging on cinnamon roll casserole. But if she doesn’t, she knows to shut the fuck up.
Aug 16, 2011 at 11:04 pm rating: 90
#71
HAHA
Of course the note wasn’t really passive as he did sign his name….makes it much easier to hold him down and shove one down his throat. sanctimonious asshole that he is.
Aug 17, 2011 at 12:15 pm rating: 90
#72
Marie
I’d totally spend a month making a dessert-a-day for the office after a note like that! Just wait ’till Jeff ole boy gets a gander of my Bacon Candy. Mwaahahaha
Aug 17, 2011 at 5:04 pm rating: 90
#73
Allie
I haven’t read ALL the comments because there are a lot of them (this is clearly a passion-inducing issue), but I’m surprised there are very few comments on the fact that Jeff is borderline illiterate on top of everything else. I’d say he’s got a lot bigger problems than fatty snacks.
Aug 18, 2011 at 2:54 pm rating: 90
#74
Starfish
@Allie Yeah, that just kind of adds insult to injury, doesn’t it?
Aug 18, 2011 at 8:11 pm rating: 90
#75
Kreaper
Dear Jeff,
I will continue to eat sugar until I hallucinate. You cannot stop me.
Thanks,
Kreaper
Aug 18, 2011 at 10:23 pm rating: 90
#76
Duke
A couple women in our office complex decided to raise money for a charity by baking and selling cupcakes. We told them of course we’d buy some. The company upstairs told them they were on a company-wide “wellness program” and they would not be allowed to sell the cupcakes to their employees…
Aug 21, 2011 at 6:56 pm rating: 90
#77
Fred
I live in Alabama, and when I read this note all I could think was, “you’re not from ’round here, are you jeff”. There are some judgmental people here I admit-and that’s bad, but judging people for eating yummy food is just not something we do. We love food. Obesity is a problem, but it’s a personal problem. I can’t believe this idiot is complaining about cinnamon bun casserole and calling it a ‘sin’ ! moron
Aug 21, 2011 at 10:32 pm rating: 90
#78
wd
I work with a lot of overweight people who are NOT happy about it but continue to eat crappily. I’ve packed on a bit myself so I’ve gone back to a low-carb, almost vegan diet which I actually like. They roll their eyes at what I eat and say shit like “I’d rather be fat than have to eat that!” I have never once said anything about anyone’s eating habits at work–including the diabetic lady who sneaks into the breakroom to eat handfuls of any birthday cake or cookies left about. I’m not one of those dieters who yammers on about it or claims to have all the answers…so why is it okay for the non-dieters to berate my choices??
Aug 29, 2011 at 7:52 pm rating: 90
#79
agree with jeff
sorry. i’m a fatty w/o much will power. this note is VERY appreciated. why would i want to go to an office where everyone’s fat and getting fatter. why enable us. i’ve noticed that it’s the people w/o weight issues that bring in the crap – and they never eat the crap they bring in. PASSIVE AGRESSIVE INDEED.
Sep 1, 2011 at 10:51 am rating: 90
#80
TimPundit
Instead of blaming “enablers” why don’t you express some will power?
Why are we attempting to curtail the happiness of others because a few people cannot control themselves. IN this situation, Jeff is a buttinski and should mind his own business…and his own waistline.
Sep 1, 2011 at 3:05 pm rating: 90
#81
Crabby K
Jeff needs to take some diet pills, exercise, and stop telling other people how to take care of themselves.
Sep 7, 2011 at 11:23 am rating: 90
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