Wrath of the Ancients™ 2.0

August 22nd, 2011 · 47 comments

At Summer’s office in Austin, there are a few known “soakers” who constantly leave their dirty dishes in their sink. Apparently, the office soothsayer has had about enough of this practice.

(click the image below to enlarge)

Do not leave dirty dishes in the sink. The wrath of the ancients will fall upon your head. You will be cursed and misery will accompany you for your remaining days. You will constantly trip over things that are not there. The IRS will audit you. Your dog will run away at the sight of you. Your shoelaces will not stay tied. Mysterious clowns will seem to always be watching you. Rabid squirrels will invade your home. Your food in the work refrigerator will mysteriously spoil (and only yours. No one else's.) Your car  will start making the expensive knocking/tapping sound and NO ONE WILL TALK TO YOU AT PARTIES EVER AGAIN.

P.S. I kinda have a crush on this sign.

related: Things not to flush down the toilet: your hopes, your dreams…your sweaters

FILED UNDER: Austin · dishes · most popular notes of 2011 · not-so-veiled threats · office · smartass


47 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Wayne

    Sounds just like being at Bloodstock Open Air festival to me…

    Aug 22, 2011 at 6:07 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   Suzi

    I have nothing but love. I also have the urge to call them Team PA-RP in light of the roleplay of awesome, but that says ‘parp’…

    Aw hell, GO TEAM PARP! <3

    Aug 22, 2011 at 6:09 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   looney

    Wow, I wonder if I can reuse this curse?

    There are a few folks I’d sure love to see looking over their shoulders for rabid squirrels and mysterious clowns.

    Aug 22, 2011 at 6:10 pm   rating: 41  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Brian

      Let’s just hope there are no rabid clowns. The threat of that would be enough to stop me from doing just about anything.

      Aug 22, 2011 at 6:19 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   juju_skittles

      There’s nothin’ scarier than a clown!!

      Aug 22, 2011 at 11:46 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   The Elf

      We all float down here!

      Aug 23, 2011 at 6:37 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Jake

    The ladies where I work tell me that there is a habitual dish soaker at our workplace. The strange thing is that she soaks them in the bathroom sink. How gross is that? The really odd part is that we have a sink and faucet complete with dish soap on the opposite end of the room.

    Aug 22, 2011 at 6:36 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   The Elf

      We don’t have a kitchenette in our office, so everyone washes their dishes in the bathroom sink. Kinda gross, but it is the only option.

      Aug 23, 2011 at 6:40 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Danny

      Gross for the washer, or for other people? ‘Cause I don’t quite follow how getting your hands near something that someone else was going to *ingest* – and doing so in a place where it’s pretty easy to wash said hands – is particularly gross. I can, however, see how washing your dishes with poop fingers would be gross. But I’d guess that doesn’t happen.

      Aug 23, 2011 at 9:39 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   notolaf

      You have a combination kitchen/bathroom? Dishes in the “bathroom” sink are the least of your worries.

      Aug 27, 2011 at 11:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Tesstarosa

    I’d just tell them I’m throwing their dishes away and follow through. (Although, if I like the Tupperware, I might just keep it for myself — but THAT would be stealing. (:p) )

    Aug 22, 2011 at 6:48 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Nelklen

    This is one of the best notes ever. I want to be the notewriter’s drinking buddy.

    Aug 22, 2011 at 7:02 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Soothsayer

    I posted the sign. I just got sick of people leaving dishes in the sink all the time, to the point the room has a funky smell all the time. Curses on those bastards.

    Aug 22, 2011 at 7:21 pm   rating: 49  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   The Elf

      It’s PAN brilliance. I applaud you.

      Aug 23, 2011 at 6:38 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   SilentPsycho

      Definitely. I want your babies now!

      Aug 23, 2011 at 2:42 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   pony girl

      @Silent Psycho,

      Take a number.

      ;)

      Aug 23, 2011 at 6:14 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   MnDina

      I don’t know about everyone else but I, for one, applaud you and your impeccable spelling, grammar, and punctuation. It gives me renewed hope for civilization. :-)

      Aug 25, 2011 at 4:58 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   James L.

    I vote for just throwing away any dishes at the end of the work day that are still left soaking in the sink.

    Aug 22, 2011 at 7:38 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Sabine

      Hard core. I’m in.

      Aug 22, 2011 at 9:59 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   unsatisfied

    if that sign were a drug, I would crush it up and snort it.

    Aug 22, 2011 at 7:44 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   ElbieSee

    I want to marry this sign.

    Aug 22, 2011 at 8:38 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Lila

    I want to have ten thousand of the note writers babies…

    Aug 22, 2011 at 9:05 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Sabine

    I want to have ten thousand of the note writer’s babies. . . . then actually raise them.

    Aug 22, 2011 at 10:00 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   pony girl

      My bad.
      I’ll be sure to eat a rat and tell my mother I’m so fat.

      ;)

      Aug 22, 2011 at 10:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   aaa bang

    I want to do obscene and unholy things to this sign. <3

    Aug 22, 2011 at 10:13 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Soothsayer

      Why? Do you leave dishes in the sink?

      Aug 22, 2011 at 10:17 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   pony girl

      I want to marry this sign and have its babies.

      Aug 22, 2011 at 10:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   aaa bang

      I already impregnated the sign. You can watch the video online.

      I suppose you can have its babies once it’s done having my dinosaur babies.

      Aug 22, 2011 at 11:03 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.4   sleeps

      The note’s a hermaphrodite then?

      Edited to add: The reason for the universal love/lust/desire to impregnate this note has to be the correct use of the possessive “s” in ‘no one else’s’.

      Aug 23, 2011 at 9:12 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   pony girl

    Bad Soak You!

    Aug 22, 2011 at 10:47 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Get on your bikes and ride bang

    While I may have no interest in impregnating or being impregnated by this sign, I think a nice gilt edged frame encrusted with rhinestones would not be out of place on this one. Flawless. My favorite thus far.

    Aug 22, 2011 at 11:47 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Kathy

    This is awesome. And it is only right. Dish soakers are the worst. Just last week, I was working in my satellite office when I remembered leaving a soaking plate in the sink at my main office the day before. The weekend was upon me, and I didn’t want it soaking for two more days.

    I called my coworker there and barely got out “Can you do me a favor?” when she said “I already got it. The plate, right?”

    No clowns for me.

    Aug 23, 2011 at 5:34 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Jorge Barnes

      Do you….do you work aboard the Satellite of Love?! Say hi to the bots for me!

      Aug 23, 2011 at 7:14 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   emcd

      …she didn’t do a good job cleaning up her plate
      so her bosses didn’t like her
      and they shot her into space!!!!!

      Aug 24, 2011 at 7:57 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Beesus

    I wish the rabid squirrels and the clowns were one. Aaaaaand now I’m imagining a squirrel caaarefully applying pancake makeup. EVERYBODY WINS!

    Aug 23, 2011 at 9:32 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   pony girl

      gaack, I’m imagining that with Send in the Clowns playing in the background.
      Thanks a lot.

      Aug 23, 2011 at 10:29 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   TKD

    That’s why the clowns are following me? It was one dish, three years ago. I got the message when Casey in Human Resources spoke to me. It was driven home after elaine and Thx, Sandra left their batshit crazy notes. Seriously, can we call off the clowns? Please?

    Aug 23, 2011 at 9:40 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   divaandwriter bang

    This is the best! I laughed out loud when I read this. I am Team Note Writer all the way.

    Aug 23, 2011 at 9:58 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   loser

    Passive-agressive… LIKE A BOSS!

    Aug 23, 2011 at 11:27 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Pit Pat

    What would the curse be for people who put a can of pop in the freezer . . . and then forget? Not that I ever did that. At work.

    Aug 23, 2011 at 1:45 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   bookworm

    She should be ecstatic! She works in an office where people bother to soak their dishes instead of leaving them covered in food to collect mold.

    Aug 23, 2011 at 1:49 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Soothsayer

      ‘She’ is a he. I just checked.

      Aug 23, 2011 at 7:36 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   blinker

    Besides the fact that soakers must have no regard for their coworkers, since they think that their dish is more important than everyone else’s need to use the sink (not to mention the precious 1 minute it would take to just wash the dish instead of letting it soak), what I can’t understand is: Do you really want to leave things you eat from in that sink?

    I don’t know about most offices, but I’m pretty sure the sinks in mine haven’t been scrubbed since they were installed, ~13 years ago. Plus other people use the sink for heaven knows what while your dish is there, collecting the ickiness–as well as the hate.

    Aug 23, 2011 at 9:03 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   chemgal

    Why do I have a sudden urge to go watch Monty Python’s Holy Grail?

    Aug 23, 2011 at 10:24 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Clive

      Because that is another set of once-amusing lines that have been killed by repetition and now serve only to highlight the unoriginality of whoever quotes them?

      Sep 16, 2011 at 1:14 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   alnemsmom

    I plagiaiarized this today, but gave credit to PAN. Thank you for the bit of awesomeness that now hangs above the sink in our work breakroom!

    Aug 24, 2011 at 1:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Hank

    That is stupid. You have to leaves your dish to soak! What are we supposed to scrub them till our fingers bleed!

    Aug 27, 2011 at 8:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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