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Now, if we could all just take our own advice…

August 27th, 2011 · 69 comments

Really, some people are just better off living alone.

Presented in order of appearance:

If you used the last piece, throw this away and put a new roll on.

 If you see the roll done, don't write a note. Just fuckin replace it bitch.

[Roommate 1:] If you see the roll done, don't write a note. Just fuckin replace it bitch. [Roommate 2:] You just did the exact opposite of what you wrote.

related: What’s harder than changing the toilet paper roll?

FILED UNDER: most popular notes of 2011 · note wars · roommates · toilet paper

69 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Kathryn

    Why can I never find a pen when I need one?

    Aug 27, 2011 at 11:41 am   rating: 35  small thumbs up

  • #2   Suzi

    How did Mr. TP-user know that she didn’t write that on the tube of all their TP stash and then re-wrap the paper over it, hmmm?

    Aug 27, 2011 at 11:41 am   rating: 32  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Rhamza

      omg! that was hilarious, thank you for the good laugh Suzi!

      It sounds like a good idea to me…

      Aug 27, 2011 at 2:13 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   notolaf

      That’s what I assumed.

      Aug 27, 2011 at 11:20 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #2.3   Mel

      New business idea: sell toilet paper on tubes that say “please replace roll” in big red letters.

      If I didn’t think the BF would find it so funny he’d leave the roll unchanged just to show off the toilet paper tube, I’d start that myself.

      Aug 28, 2011 at 9:00 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

  • #3   Quite Contrary

    While you think some people are better off living alone, don’t presume the PA notes on toilet paper rolls stop.

    Aug 27, 2011 at 11:49 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #4   shwo! bang

    That’s no way to respond to your mother.

    Aug 27, 2011 at 11:53 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

  • #5   grammar nazi

    do these people just walk around carrying pens with them?

    if not and they had to go get one to carry on this PAN-iness, then why not just use that energy for good instead of evil and grab a fucking roll of TP instead?

    Aug 27, 2011 at 11:54 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #6   derp

    The handwriting looks too similar. I believe we have a case of multiple personality disorder here folks. Like in the Allan Poe story where this one guy meets this jew he dislikes, then invites him to his winecellar with the intent of walling him in, and IT WAS ONE PERSON ALL ALONG!

    Aug 27, 2011 at 12:02 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Sesquipedalian

      They only look similar in that they are legibly formed letters.

      Aug 27, 2011 at 1:04 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #6.2   FeRD bang

      Yeah, they’re really nothing alike. Compare the “t”, “f”, and “y” forms, especially.

      It does appear they may have all been written with the same pen, which raises the question: Who keeps a pen in the crapper!?!

      Aug 27, 2011 at 10:03 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #6.3   Jessi

      People who do the morning crossword in the crapper?

      Aug 27, 2011 at 11:41 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #6.4   None More Black

      I’m going to go with different pens- the ink in the third note looks somewhat darker than the sceond note, which has almost a reddish tinge compared to the other.

      Aug 28, 2011 at 2:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #6.5   The Elf

      Who keeps MULTIPLE pens in the crapper?

      Aug 28, 2011 at 4:01 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #6.6   farcical aquatic ceremony

      Who touches pens left/found in the crapper?

      Aug 28, 2011 at 6:56 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #7   me

    I wonder what the e.coli count is on this poor little piece of cardboard….

    Aug 27, 2011 at 12:21 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

  • #8   KT

    The offender/responder seems VERY hostile. The original author of the note wasn’t like that at all. I think he needs some anger management and household etiquette therapy.

    Aug 27, 2011 at 12:26 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   AuntyBron

      Really, KT? You found “You just did the exact opposite of what you wrote.” much more hostile than “Just fucking replace it, bitch.”?

      Aug 28, 2011 at 1:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   jadefirefly

      Um. “Just fuckin replace it bitch” IS the responder / offender.

      Aug 28, 2011 at 8:49 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

  • #9   Leonna

    I wish I took a picture of the note I left my boyfriend after I used the last roll. “Sorry babe, but it was a midnight poo and I’m too lazy to find another roll but not too lazy to write this on the empty roll. PS: GOOD MORNING!”

    Aug 27, 2011 at 12:31 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

  • #10   TRT

    S’gonna take more than TP to get them corn cobs out them asses.

    Aug 27, 2011 at 12:40 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Danny

      If you have a corn /cob/ in your ass, you need to either find a new hobby of quit passing out around your jerk friends.

      Aug 28, 2011 at 10:40 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #11   Get on your bikes and ride bang

    This could simply be a case of “One conservationist’s last piece is another person’s empty roll”.

    Aug 27, 2011 at 12:51 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   The Elf

      If you can use that narrow strip of glued-on tp left on the roll, then more power to you. It’s not even a full square. The fact that the roll appears wet on both sides does make me wonder what the toilet user did use to wipe, though.

      Aug 29, 2011 at 8:33 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #12   ged

    Anyone else notice the edge of the roll is wet in the last two photos? Ewwww!

    Aug 27, 2011 at 1:13 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Clumber

      11.1 , The Elf, did.

      Aug 29, 2011 at 12:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #13   ezpzlemonsqueezy

    i ALWAYS replace TP rolls. just want to make that clear.

    Aug 27, 2011 at 1:29 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #14   Divvitar

    Funny how this got to three notes and STILL hasn’t been replaced.

    Aug 27, 2011 at 1:35 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #15   kermit

    Clearly the next step in this argument is which way the roll should face: in or out?

    Aug 27, 2011 at 1:47 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   AuntyBron

      If I’m changing it, it’s facing out. If you want it facing in, you should’ve fucking changed it when you had the chance.

      Aug 28, 2011 at 1:49 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #15.2   kermit

      I agree. Unless you have cats, there’s no reason the roll should face in. I do draw the line at folding the little triangle thingy.

      Actually, if you have cats the best idea is to hide it the roll in the medicine cabinet or put it anywhere but in the toilet-paper holder.

      Aug 30, 2011 at 12:29 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #15.3   The Elf

      Or close the bathroom door. I have to really make sure mine is shut, because the little boy will hit the door with a running start and headbutt it open. He hits it so hard the door slams against the wall. I often wonder if there’s anything in that little head to hurt.

      Thankfully, he leaves the toilet paper alone and contents himself with merely drinking from the toilet and emptying the trash can.

      Aug 30, 2011 at 7:30 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #15.4   The Elf

      Um, I should clarify that this is a little boy CAT we’re talking about, not a little boy HUMAN. Heh, heh. Okay, you can stop dialing CPS now.

      Aug 30, 2011 at 12:00 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #15.5   Fred Evil

      Actually, my cats could care less about the paper, it’s my 21 month old who stands gleefully in a pile of TP up to her knees, as she listens to the cardboard roll sliding across the spindle as she smacks it over and over and over.
      The cats are usually the ones who report her….
      And for the record, the paper should come over the top.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 2:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #16   MARY

    I can’t help visualizing these guys standing there, drop trow, with no tp to wipe with yet they are writing notes?

    Aug 27, 2011 at 2:17 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   FeRD bang

      “Guys”? It’s true, the use of “bitch” to refer to one’s antagonist isn’t out of the question even when it’s one guy communicating with another. But it still seems like a leap to assume there can’t possibly be a girl involved in the exchange. Very enlightening, my good woman! Very enlightening indeed! ;)

      (Unless, of course, you were using “guys” in the general, gender-agnostic sense, much the same way that “bitch” can be. Then — withdrawn!)

      Aug 27, 2011 at 9:54 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #17   bookworm

    Like either of those clowns would bother replacing the t.p. if they did live alone.

    Aug 27, 2011 at 2:52 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #18   jetjackson

    If I happen to be able to time it perfectly so that my ass is clean with the very last piece of TP then that is MY victory! I will take my spoils of my victory as the emancipation from TP roll replacement responsibilities and I’ll be damned if anyone is going to take that away from me!

    Aug 27, 2011 at 3:31 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #19   Anon

    For the love of all things good, why couldn’t the first note writer just replace the roll themselves? Is it really that hard?

    Aug 27, 2011 at 4:51 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   TheGnome bang

      I sympathize with original notewriter. It’s no big deal the first few times, but it gets annoying replacing the roll because the person who should have done it is too damn lazy and you don’t want to enable them.

      Aug 27, 2011 at 5:11 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

  • #20   Kate

    I have never understood why people get their balls in a knot over this.
    So long as the spare roll is left in the bathroom then what’s the beef?
    The last person to wipe their ass is fine, why should they replace it, they don’t need it.

    Aug 27, 2011 at 5:13 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Nat

      There’s this thing called common courtesy.

      Aug 27, 2011 at 7:02 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #20.2   Emma

      The truly PA thing to do in this situation would be for the note writer to start carrying his own personal roll of toilet paper into the bathroom each time so the other person would be forced to change the roll.

      Aug 27, 2011 at 9:17 pm   rating: 32  small thumbs up

    • #20.3   Kate

      I agree that it is common courtesy Nat, but so many people seem to carry on like they have punched your kids rather than not change the toilet roll.

      Aug 28, 2011 at 6:48 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #20.4   w00t

      The problem is when it happens every single time.
      I lived with two other girls this past year, and one always seemed to be the one to finish off the paper, and NEVER replaced it. Seriously, never. It’s remarkably unpleasant to not realize that you have nothing to wipe your ass with until you’re in the middle of a messy poo, and the extra TP isn’t really within reach.

      Not cool.

      Aug 28, 2011 at 6:10 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #20.5   Kate

      When the extra paper is in the next room or something then fair enough.

      Aug 29, 2011 at 5:13 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #20.6   i regret NOTHING

      it does make you wonder how can bother to write on bogroll but not to replace it.


      Aug 29, 2011 at 8:05 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #20.7   The Elf

      Kate, I imagine if someone punched their kids, it would warrant more than a PAN. So, with that in mind, TP user 1 got off light!

      There’s something about TP that really does bring out the worst in roommate disagreements. It’s right up there with not doing the dishes and eating meat in front of the vegan.

      Aug 29, 2011 at 8:37 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #20.8   TheGnome bang

      Kate, my family like to use my bathroom often and never replace the roll. It’s no great mystery where the rolls are…They are in a container RIGHT NEXT TO THE TOILET. It doesn’t even require getting up, and they still don’t do it. So yes, it is aggravating that they have no trouble using it but replacing it is apparently just too hard.

      Aug 30, 2011 at 12:34 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #21   Nat

    Totally agree with the original note writer. If you finish the roll, have some manners and put some paper there for the next person. Lazy jackasses.

    Aug 27, 2011 at 7:01 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

  • #22   Eden

    What would they do if they ever bought those new rolls without the cardboard inside?

    Aug 27, 2011 at 8:31 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #23   Neeners

    They could use the post-its as tp.

    Aug 28, 2011 at 1:22 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #24   Adriana

    If I were the one who had to keep changing out the empties, I’d be really tempted to make Mexican for my roommate and then move all the toilet paper to a closet outside the bathroom after finishing off the one roll left.

    Aug 28, 2011 at 7:44 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #25   Danny

    I carry an empty roll around with me so I can replace full rolls with the empty one. Then I hide the full roll.

    Aug 28, 2011 at 10:43 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

  • #26   Simon



    Aug 28, 2011 at 4:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #27   Morgan

    No toilet paper, but I always bring a pen with me while sitting on the toilet…

    Aug 28, 2011 at 8:34 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #28   Who passed out the Haterade?

    I vote for scratching out “don’t write a note” and writing “In other words:”

    Offender/responder would get his knickers in such a twist that anyone would dare talk to HIM that way that it might cause testicular rupture, doing the gene pool a favor.

    Aug 29, 2011 at 10:45 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #29   QBALL

    Sometimes to get even, I just replace the spindle after taking off the cardboard roll, then they have to replace it, nothing worse than having your drawers by your ankles and not having “single square” (Seinfeld ref)

    Aug 29, 2011 at 11:35 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   Who passed out the Haterade?

      Personally, I’d rather waddle to the cupboard under the sink than use a single square… one square is much too porous to keep “stuff” from seeping through to your fingers. (Ew.)

      Aug 29, 2011 at 12:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #30   unsatisfied

    when I read the last pic and saw mention of the opposite, constanza came to mind.

    Aug 29, 2011 at 12:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #31   Clara

    I kind of think that I was the original note-writer, but I can’t remember for sure. Can someone tell me where this picture was taken? I’m 99% sure that I would be self-righteous enough to write on the roll, and I almost always have a pen. This is probably the appropriate forum to apologize for my passive aggression…nahh, not feeling it.

    Aug 29, 2011 at 12:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #32   Amy

    For all those who have commented about “What have these note-writers used to wipe their asses with?” my suggestion is this: TP.

    The bathroom may be set up like mine: with a basket in front of the toilet that houses a couple bath towels and a bunch of TP rolls. Or, there may be additional TP rolls in a cupboard adjacent to the toilet. In either case, my guess is, the first note-writer took offense to the fact that no one replaced the roll, took out a new roll and purposely left it on the adjacent counter so that the offending TP roll non-replacer would be shamed into doing the conscientious thing.

    It’s a total waste of time if you ask me … try living with kids. They never replace the TP roll.

    Aug 29, 2011 at 2:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   Clara

      Way to go, Amy! If the original note was mine (see above), I think there’s a window sill just out of the frame with more rolls sitting on it. You can even see the end of a spare roll hanging down from the sill at the top left. I have SOME consideration, unlike the roll-finishing offender.

      Aug 29, 2011 at 3:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #32.2   The Elf

      *adds this to the list of reasons to not have kids*

      Aug 30, 2011 at 7:32 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #33   redheadwglasses

    My ex would leave me stranded without TP. I begged, pleaded, asked, ordered, nagged. Nothing helped. Finally, I started taking the TP out of the bathroom and just taking it in with me when I needed to go.

    Being stranded twice was all he needed to learn to get a frickin’ clue.

    Aug 30, 2011 at 11:53 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #34   k

    I think these are my two roommates. Not really. But… was this by any chance in Queens?

    Aug 31, 2011 at 6:34 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #35   James

    This is set up. The 2nd and 3rd notes, purportedly done by two different people, have the same exact wet spots on the roll.

    Sep 4, 2011 at 5:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   Uh...

      The 2nd and 3rd photos were taken at the same time. Notice that they look nearly identical (same lighting, etc.), and the top of the “t” in “exact” can be seen at the bottom of Photo 2.

      Sep 5, 2011 at 12:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up


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