Entries from September 2011
“My supervisor posted this notice in the ladies’ restroom in the lobby of our office,” says our submitter in Louisiana, “but it was directed solely at me.” (One of the more vocal anti-air freshener employees on staff, our submitter’s desk happens to be located immediately outside the restroom.)
Despite the fact that, as our submitter put it, “that Summer Breeze crap smells like a giant migraine,” her boss declared that “Lemon Peel is a ‘masculine scent’ more suited for the men’s room.” Adds our submitter: “I still haven’t figured out the identities of all these people who are lamenting the absence of the Summer Breeze.”
related: Please spray your corpses BEFORE placing them in the restroom
extra credit: “How ‘fresh’ is air freshener?” [Time.com]
Tags: a matter of taste · bathroom · Louisiana · message to all intended for one · odor · office · smiley
September 28th, 2011 · 31 Comments
The sign to the left was posted by the boss at an office in Oneonta, New York. (Adds our submitter: “He claims the spelling was autocorrected by Word.”)
Without even getting into the finer points of what might constitute a “hostile work environment,” I think it’s safe to say that encouraging your employees to commit suicide isn’t the best management technique.
(Of course, some managers might disagree.)
related: Signs you might be stuck in a soul-sucking job
Tags: a little insensitive · crazy boss · die bitch die · more aggressive than passive · New York · now that's management · rebuttals · recycling · spelling and grammar police · that's irresponsible
September 27th, 2011 · 35 Comments
“My friend and her mother have little exchanges like this via Facebook all the time,” says our anonymous submitter. “It’s always lovely to get these little peeks into their relationship.”
related: Best wishes, godless heathens!
Tags: Facebook · guilt trip · Jesus · Mother-daughter notes
September 26th, 2011 · 41 Comments
Q. When is a door not a door?
A. If you ask a 10-year-old with a joke book: “When it’s ajar.” Otherwise…whenever somebody says so.
Exhibit a) from Trent in Melbourne, Australia:
Exhibit b) from Michael in North Carolina:
Exhibit c) from Laura in Greenville, South Carolina:
Exhibit d) from Shannon in Albany, New York:
Exhibit e) from Summer in Austin, Texas:
And lastly, a straight-up Magritte shout-out:
related: The existential crisis of a water fountain
Tags: questionable logic · WTF?
September 25th, 2011 · 58 Comments
If it wasn’t obvious, Lorah in NYC says the response note here was most definitely a total lie. (The residents of 4B are musical theater actors, and sing-and-dance-a-thons are not uncommon events in their apartment.)
related: If you don’t read this, the terrorists win! Do you hate America?
Tags: heart · neighbors · New York · noise · non-apology apology · oh no you didn't · smartass · that's disrespectful · xoxo
September 23rd, 2011 · 59 Comments
Melody in Schenectady, New York says her 7-year-old daughter, Emma, is constantly writing little stories and whatnot, which inevitably end up all over the house. As Melody was picking up some of Emma’s latest scraps, she found this note addressed to her 4-year-old sister.
related: S is for sibling rivalry
Tags: kids · New York · siblings · signed with love
Option a) “Hey, Iva, could you buy some TP? We’re out.”
Option b) Several weeks of seething funneled into eight six colored markers’ worth of heart exclamation point smiley THREAT heart heart.
And the winner is…
Gee, Bell, that IS funny, cuz you really threw me off with that “I hope you had a nice day!! <3 ” shit. (I’M ACTUALLY KIDDING. I WILL CUT YOU.)
related: One sure sign your roommate situation isn’t working out?
Tags: heart · mean girls · not-so-veiled threats · rainbow-colored · roommates · signed with love · smiley · toilet paper
September 20th, 2011 · 38 Comments
“One of our local parks has a busy tea shop that’s popular with walkers, cyclists, families and people exercising their dogs,” says Clive in Brighton. “I don’t blame them for getting fed up with demanding dog owners, and I suppose a note is one way to communicate, but in rhyme? And, worse, rhyme this bad?”
related: A polite notice to the owner of this marvelous vehicle
Tags: "customer service" · "polite notice" · dogs · don't blame us · martyr complex · pure poetry · restaurant · U.K.