Take it from Whitney, kids: “Crack is whack.” (And it makes you an easy scapegoat for pretty much anything and everything.)
From Akron, Ohio:
![The crackhead theives [sic] have been busy stealing our stuff, inside + out. Please report all crackhead sightings to SPD [phone number redacted]](https://farm4.static.flickr.com/3580/3415824265_91d8a70b6e_o.jpg "The crackhead theives [sic] have been busy stealing our stuff, inside + out. Please report all crackhead sightings to SPD [phone number redacted]")
From Toronto:
From New York City:
From Pueblo, Colorado:
From Phoenix:
From Seattle:
And lastly, from South London:
related: So if I start selling drugs I can drive an Escalade, too?
56 responses so far ↓
#1
Quite Contrary
Dear Seattle,
With a fucked up font like that, do you blame me?
Kisses!
Crackheads
Sep 6, 2011 at 3:01 pm rating: 91
#2
Hobotang
Go back and replace “crackhead” with “squirrel” in the notes for extra laughs.
Sep 6, 2011 at 3:09 pm rating: 90
#3
QBALL
why would a crackhead leave their beer?
Sep 6, 2011 at 3:33 pm rating: 90
#4
not_me
The crackhead probably can spell paranoia.
Sep 6, 2011 at 3:51 pm rating: 91
#5
J.
Based on the spelling on that first sign, I think this was an example of crackhead on crackhead thievery.
Sep 6, 2011 at 3:52 pm rating: 91
#6
Smokey
Is anyone else worried about those squirrels in London? They could get mean if they need a fix!
Sep 6, 2011 at 3:54 pm rating: 90
#7
Suzi
I would totally steal Ohio’s sign.
Sep 6, 2011 at 3:55 pm rating: 90
#8
unsatisfied
if you write a sign that goes off on crackheads for doing something that you think that a crackhead did but you can’t spell correctly, you’re probably a crackhead.
Sep 6, 2011 at 3:56 pm rating: 90
#9
Guadalisá
Do “normies” know that crack makes you impotent and paranoid or do some of these people have personal experience?
Just curious.
Sep 6, 2011 at 3:58 pm rating: 90
#10
Divvitar
Are we supposed to report the Crackheads to Space Patrol Delta? I didn’t know the Power Rangers were involved in the “War on Drugs?”
Sep 6, 2011 at 4:02 pm rating: 90
#11
Michele
It’s THIEVES* …not theives.
Sep 6, 2011 at 4:07 pm rating: 90
#12
CaptainC
Will no one think of the meth?
Sep 6, 2011 at 4:17 pm rating: 90
#13
Joe
I think if you switch “crackheads” with “the blacks” in these you can see what these people are really trying to say.
Sep 6, 2011 at 4:31 pm rating: 91
#14
gladystopia
Looks like Warren Zevon, may his soul rest in peace, missed a bet:
“He’s that bushy-tailed rat
Stealing money from your flat
Lately he’s been going ’round the pawnshops.
You better stay away from him
‘Cuz he’s a crackhead, Slim
(He’s also got the rabies.)
“AOOOOOOOOOOH! Crack squirrels of London
“aOOOOOOOOOOH!”
Sep 6, 2011 at 4:36 pm rating: 91
#15
a
it’s really hard to get samshed out of car windows, so I can feel the pain in NYC.
Sep 6, 2011 at 4:44 pm rating: 90
#16
shwo!
Hail, hail Paronia! Land of the brave and free…!
Sep 6, 2011 at 6:08 pm rating: 90
#17
Divvitar
The NYC note is really a metal song called “Crack Kills.”
Sep 6, 2011 at 9:25 pm rating: 90
#18
Canthz_B
Why would anyone complain about free beer? Hell, my insurance will cover a new car window, and I can’t sweat about a premium increase while I’m drinking free beer.
Sep 7, 2011 at 2:44 am rating: 90
#19
Canthz_B
Let’s get real…there’s no such thing as a “crackhead sighting”.
Those suckers are much too fast to be sighted.
‘Why they’ll slip the laces out of your shoes while you’re in mid stride!!
You’d need a high-speed camera set up by Urban Wild Kingdom to gain a glimpse of one in its natural habitat.
Sep 7, 2011 at 2:49 am rating: 90
#20
havingfitz
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84JuAy0_4Q8
Sep 7, 2011 at 3:37 am rating: 90
#21
anonymous
STEPHEN ROOT IS A KLINGON!
Sep 7, 2011 at 9:37 am rating: 90
#22
divaandwriter
I think the New York note writer is the winner here. I wonder if he/she knows a good window samshing service.
Sep 7, 2011 at 9:37 am rating: 90
#23
rainbow brite's boyfriend
If you want to do crack, pull down your pants.
Sep 7, 2011 at 10:19 am rating: 90
#24
Dannidoo
No one suspected
MI5′s plan – drug lords foiled
by covert squirrels.
Sep 7, 2011 at 12:33 pm rating: 90
#25
Lily
One of these days these crackhead notes have got to invoke Intervention. It would have been fitting for the NYC note: “Crack kills. I’m going to send the Intervention TV crew after you” or “Crack kills – get on that show Intervention and get some help”
Sep 7, 2011 at 1:13 pm rating: 90
#26
Eileen
Samshed: a small outbuilding where your vertically challenged groundskeeper stores his equipment
Paronia: a country in Central America, full of nervous people who insiste they are all under surveillance
Sep 7, 2011 at 6:46 pm rating: 90
#27
Get on your bikes and ride
Not only does it appear that the Seattle note is done in a 60′s comedy font*, it even looks like it could have made a decent movie title considering the times.
*
http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/197027.1020.A.jpg
Sep 7, 2011 at 11:49 pm rating: 90
#28
Christina
So proud to call Akron home.
Sep 8, 2011 at 1:43 pm rating: 90
#29
Balabusta in Blue Jeans
“There was a Santa here, but some crackhead took it.”
This makes me sad, and it also makes me laugh like a hyena.
Sep 10, 2011 at 8:41 pm rating: 90
#30
HunterJE
I want to know what the other 17/24 of the staff think of the crackheads on heroin taking video cases.
Sep 16, 2011 at 8:15 pm rating: 91
#31
melissa
To the person who wrote and posted the sign from New York, LEARN TO SPELL.
Sep 18, 2011 at 3:37 pm rating: 90
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