Spotted by Helen in the window of a shop in Haworth, West Yorkshire.
(It was closed.)
related: A not-so-subtle clue that your co-worker isn’t up for cubicle small talk
FILED UNDER: "customer service" · let me stop you right there · retail hell · small talk · U.K.
Who would even deign to go into that store after seeing that sign?
Well, except for those of us who would go in to ask all of those questions listed, that is.
Sep 7, 2011 at 1:09 pm rating: 46
Sounds like they don’t know anything.
Sep 7, 2011 at 1:32 pm rating: 11
I’m with the sign – I would go for lack of trivial chitchat.
Sep 7, 2011 at 1:38 pm rating: 19
That’s a whole lot of bother for a shop that’s closed anyway–and admits as much on the sign…
Sep 7, 2011 at 1:42 pm rating: 6
* NO, I DON’T GIVE A SHIT
Sep 7, 2011 at 1:44 pm rating: 6
I love it. I also love it when Brits say “crap” instead of “crappy.” It just sounds cooler. As in “I’m a crap correspondent.” (an example taken from an email a Brit sent me) I’m trying to bring it to America but it’s going to take a while by myself so if anyone wants to help, please do.
Sep 7, 2011 at 1:58 pm rating: 30
I don’t know, KT. Without the British accent, the cool factor goes down considerably.
Sep 7, 2011 at 2:10 pm rating: 15
Everybody where I live (New Brunswick, Canada) says crap instead of crappy *shrug* Might be the French thing, though…
Sep 7, 2011 at 3:56 pm rating: 3
Crap is the word here in Australia except we would just say Shit… because we are just convicts after all.
Sep 7, 2011 at 4:08 pm rating: 32
I guess this makes me a crap commenter.
Sep 8, 2011 at 11:31 am rating: 2
I would go in this store just to use the restroom. They’d really love that.
Sep 7, 2011 at 1:58 pm rating: 18
I would use the store AS a restroom.
Sep 7, 2011 at 4:24 pm rating: 5
You could try. But since few shops in the UK have toilets, you would probably find the process awkward at best.
Sep 7, 2011 at 5:13 pm rating: 15
Why be courteous to your customers when you can just write a rude and condescending note instead? I know that if I owned a business and had to close down, I’d be really upset if people kept asking me when they could start giving me money again.
Sep 7, 2011 at 2:06 pm rating: 15
I’m presuming this is Haworth, not Howarth. I’d love to know which shop this is since it’s such a friendly village!
Sep 7, 2011 at 2:08 pm rating: 3
I would expect this sign in France, not England.
Sep 7, 2011 at 3:44 pm rating: 1
I’m going to go out on a limb and conclude that you’ve never been to England. Leastways, you’ve never been here in the north of England.
Sep 7, 2011 at 5:12 pm rating: 8
ha i live 20 mins from this place! closest to home ive seen and ive actually seen this sign!
Sep 7, 2011 at 4:21 pm rating: 4
From the zodiac chart visible in the window, this appears to be some type of psychic shop. Is it any wonder why people choose to ask them all their questions?
Sep 7, 2011 at 4:33 pm rating: 14
This is clearly the work of Lancashireman.
Sep 7, 2011 at 5:11 pm rating: 1
Dr Northern Pedantic
Or, possibly a Lancastrian!
Sep 12, 2011 at 7:34 am rating: 0
To give people proper context; this sign is in a shop in Yorkshire. People in Yorkshire are famed for their gruff manner and no-nonsense straight-talking.
Perhaps this short educational video will explain things;
Sep 7, 2011 at 5:16 pm rating: 14
Is that an astrology symbol in the reflection? Does that mean it is a psychic’s store front? If it is, that makes it all the more funny.
Sep 7, 2011 at 7:03 pm rating: 3
I can just picture people walking briskly up to the door, poised, ready to enter. They stop and read the sign, mid stride. They sigh, their hand drops from the door, their should shoulders drop. They turn and leave, dejected. Clearly, there would be no small talk today…
Sep 7, 2011 at 9:11 pm rating: 10
I lost my way once going to a campground in Maine. I finally saw a shop and I walked in to ask directions to Acadia. The shopkeeper told me there was a sign outside…..I walked out and on the front of his shop was a sign that read, “No Directions Given.”
Sep 8, 2011 at 2:03 am rating: 11
You can’t get there from here.
Sep 12, 2011 at 1:37 pm rating: 1
Ha ha ha! I love it.
And Yorkshire is usually so friendly. But it’s true they don’t go in for small talk much, unless it’s (a) gossip or (b) about whippets.
Sep 8, 2011 at 4:08 am rating: 1
This is why retail does not suit me. I hate small talk, and I hated it when I worked retail too. I love this sign. I would probably put up this sign if I owned a business. I would probably go out of business if I attempted to run one.
Sep 8, 2011 at 6:12 am rating: 8
Hell, I put off haircuts solely because I hate the forced small talk… damn hippie!
Sep 8, 2011 at 8:27 am rating: 5
I like *some* small talk with a hair salon employee and have found that 2 out of 3 stylists are good at maintaining a perfect amount of small talk so that we’re friendly without being overdone and thus stressing me out. But when it comes to those chatty stylists, I can’t even enjoy my time at the hair salon, something I consider a huge treat, because they yammer on and on. GAH!
Sep 14, 2011 at 6:12 pm rating: 0
I recently had to spend a more than the usual amount of time in a hair salon after my husband walked off with my wallet. Whilst waiting for him to come back so I could pay, multiple customers came and went and after each one the stylists would tell the whole shop what they had talked about.
Sep 14, 2011 at 7:19 pm rating: 1
I could so put up a similar sign at work saying “no we’re not closing” I don’t mind the small talk, but getting asked the same question 50 times a day (literally), maybe even more some days, gets incredibly annoying. I can understand exactly how they feel to put up the sign.
Sadly we actually do have signs explaining why we have no stock and that we aren’t closing…. about a hundred of them… doesn’t work. They are just more diplomatic. I would opt for more the tone of this sign here.
Sep 8, 2011 at 1:34 pm rating: 1
I don’t live a that far from Haworth. I remember (a few years ago!) as a 16 year old going into a petrol station (with my school uniform on) and buying a Mars bar (or something). The frosty women said, “£20.50″. I said, (the Yorkshire cry) “How much?”, “For the Mars bar and petrol” she snorted. I said “I don’t drive” (I thought the uniform and bus pass in my hand made that obvious), which she replied “You could have told me.” So I now have to tell her what I hadn’t bought? Never understood that… !!!
Sep 12, 2011 at 8:50 am rating: 7
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