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An artistic phallacy

September 9th, 2011 · 51 comments

Says Michael, of this note from the bulletin board of his college dorm: “It pretty much speaks for itself.”

TO THE INDIVIDUAL OBSESSED WITH DRAWING PENISES: Rest assured that you are the only personal who finds humor in this. While I am glad you are so open in expressing yourself, it is rather distasteful to be depicting to your desires in such great detail on everybody's doors. If you care to enjoy your phallic artwork alone in your own place of residence, that is perfectly fine by me. However, there are a number of students who fail to appreciate your unique style of expression on their property. The next time time you feel the urge to create penises, do it on canvas and take it to an art show. Maybe you'll make some money out of the deal.

related: Body hair is unsanitary!

extra credit: A brief survey of blatantly phallic art []

FILED UNDER: art · college life · graffiti · most popular notes of 2011 · RA

51 responses so far ↓

  • #1   The Elf

    That’ll show ‘em.

    Sep 9, 2011 at 9:17 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #2   Silence

    That’s awfully cocky.

    Sep 9, 2011 at 9:44 am   rating: 108  small thumbs up

  • #3   divaandwriter bang

    Since the artist is a dick, that must be a self-portrait.

    Sep 9, 2011 at 9:46 am   rating: 64  small thumbs up

  • #4   unsatisfied

    what a dick.

    Sep 9, 2011 at 9:49 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Smokey the Cat

      This is my favorite!

      Sep 9, 2011 at 4:18 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #5   Grant

    But… every door needs a knob.

    Sep 9, 2011 at 9:56 am   rating: 70  small thumbs up

  • #6   AuntyBron

    To all you guys out there – is it normal for one ball to be much larger than the other? Inquiring minds want to know.

    Sep 9, 2011 at 10:00 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

  • #7   Kittymama

    “great detail”? Has either of these people ever seen a penis?

    Sep 9, 2011 at 11:41 am   rating: 35  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   aaa bang

      I think Dick Drawer has only seen their own penis and are unaware that having horrible, two-dimensional, scrawly dick isn’t the norm. As for Note Writer, I’m guessing that the only dick they’ve seen is that of Dick Drawer. What we’re really seeing here is yet another passive aggressive argument in the tumultuous romantic relationship between Note Writer and Dick Drawer. They’re done keeping their angst and rage to themselves and are unleashing it upon the residents of the dorm in an attempt to gain supporters.

      Sep 9, 2011 at 3:32 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #7.2   Kittymama

      At least supporters would cover them up.

      Sep 11, 2011 at 3:34 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #7.3   park rose

      @Kittymamma. The detail is all in the nine pubic hairs.

      Sep 11, 2011 at 10:21 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #8   Ryan H

    The writer of that note should have seen that, um, coming.

    Sep 9, 2011 at 11:45 am   rating: 64  small thumbs up

  • #9   TKD

    That artist is certainly a stand-up guy.

    Sep 9, 2011 at 12:12 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   TKD

      Maybe we should erect a monument to him.

      Sep 9, 2011 at 12:13 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #9.2   unsatisfied

      eh, they’ll probably end up giving him the shaft.

      Sep 9, 2011 at 1:35 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

  • #10   Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

    Team Penis. Crudely drawn penises are hilarious.

    Sep 9, 2011 at 12:12 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

  • #11   aaa bang

    I think I’d cry if my nonexistent dick looked like that.

    Sep 9, 2011 at 12:30 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Deezer

      For that matter, what does your nonexistent dick look like?

      Sep 9, 2011 at 1:25 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #11.2   gladystopia

      Hers must be super-lame. My nonexistent dick is WAY more gnarly and unattractive than THAT.

      Sep 9, 2011 at 3:05 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #11.3   The Elf

      Freud would love this thread.

      Sep 9, 2011 at 3:06 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #11.4   aaa bang

      My nonexistent dick is smooth and has nice curves like a pretty lady.

      Sep 9, 2011 at 3:24 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #11.5   Nunavut Guy

      Your nonexistent dick sounds really gay.Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

      Sep 11, 2011 at 6:16 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #12   Melodie

    I keep all my drawings of dicks in my Ghostbusters lunch box.

    Sep 9, 2011 at 1:19 pm   rating: 36  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Deezer

      Like.. man-dicks?

      Sep 9, 2011 at 1:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #13   jetjackson

    Are you sure it’s not just a mushroom growing out of a potato?

    Sep 9, 2011 at 2:54 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

  • #14   Dalamara

    Normally, I would totally agree with the note writer, but the irony of it is just too delicious.

    Sep 9, 2011 at 3:26 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   park rose

      It’s heady!

      Sep 11, 2011 at 11:15 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #15   Me

    Seems half-cocked.

    Sep 9, 2011 at 4:04 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #16   Smokey the Cat

    You have to admit, it does take balls to express yourself like that on everyone’s door.

    Sep 9, 2011 at 4:14 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #17   Adamius

    We need to give vast deference to artistic expression.

    Sep 9, 2011 at 5:10 pm   rating: 76  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Kieron

      Best comment so far.

      Sep 9, 2011 at 5:42 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #17.2   Adriana

      It’s certainly a high-brow penis joke if there ever were one.

      Sep 9, 2011 at 6:03 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #17.3   jadefirefly

      I thought I’d seen all the jokes one could wring out of this topic, but this one takes the cake.

      Well played.

      Sep 10, 2011 at 12:24 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #17.4   lyx bang

      Nah. We can milk it for at least one more.

      Sep 11, 2011 at 12:12 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #18   Adriana

    4/10 – The ball hair leaves much to be desired.

    Sep 9, 2011 at 5:34 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #19   Earl Hamsher

    “asking for it”

    Sep 10, 2011 at 3:23 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #20   BoyNamedSue


    Sep 10, 2011 at 3:19 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #21   Nunavut Guy

    Try reading this very well written tirade as you look over the red sketched penis and don’t laugh….or bust a smile.

    Team cock sketcher

    Sep 10, 2011 at 5:02 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

  • #22   Red Beans

    This has really brought the matter to a head.

    Sep 11, 2011 at 12:50 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #23   Walker, "Tex" (a stranger)

    It’s just a bit of harmless college humor. No reason to get teste about it.

    Sep 11, 2011 at 1:50 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

  • #24   Español

    I thought it was hilarious when the picture just shown. But now you have to click the text, and the picture appears in all its HD magnificence. Laughs increased by 200%!!

    Sep 12, 2011 at 5:22 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #25   Daniel

    Bad Dick You!

    Sep 12, 2011 at 2:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #26   923

    @The Elf
    “Freud would love this thread.”

    You are all that is WIN.

    Sep 13, 2011 at 4:27 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #27   NoctemOut

    Bah, it’s a college campus. For that reason I’d have a hard time taking the “rest assured you are the only person that finds humor in this” comment seriously.

    Sep 15, 2011 at 6:39 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #28   Katter

    For me as someone who worked in a dorm, when people drew dicks on the bulletin boards and info posters I was much less upset by the fact that they’d drawn a dick than by the fact that they’d drawn a dick on something I’d had to spend an afternoon making, and was obligated to keep presentable until it was time to do a new one the next month. Student workers aren’t made of free time. It’s not that I even had enemies out to sabotage me; there were just drunken yobbos who thought it was funny to draw dicks everywhere and didn’t think about the fact that it was causing someone extra work.

    Draw dicks on each other’s whiteboards (and passive aggressive notes) all you want, but leave the goddamn bulletin boards alone.

    Sep 16, 2011 at 1:19 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #29   Eliz

    Someone is a closet case and is trying to work through their denial.

    Sep 18, 2011 at 11:20 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #30   lolsuz

    I was in college in the 80′s, and Garfield the cat was massively popular as decorations in the women’s dorms. I fucking LOATHED Garfield, however, and would go around in the middle of the night on a highly regular basis, drawing dicks on all the Garfield write-on/wipe-off boards on the doors. I’d draw all kinds of dicks, from tiny fat stumpy ones to hard throbbin ones to long snaking expended-firehose ones. My faves were the enormous vein-covered floppy cocks with huge hairy puddling balls, though. Ahhhh, good times. I still can’t abide Garfield and would relish the opportunity to dickishly deface one any old time.

    Sep 29, 2011 at 7:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up


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