The needy little dishwasher

September 12th, 2011 · 43 comments

Dear poor, neglected automatic dishwasher: have you considered therapy? (Adds Ben in London: “God help us if somebody pisses off the kettle.”)

The DISHWASHER is sad! He rarely gets fed properly, so please feed him as soon as you have finished with your cup, glass, breakfast bowl, plate or cutlery. He will clean it at the end of every day and poop it out fresh and sparkling. If he is full he has a big brother and sister on the 2nd floor. The SINK is angry! She is fed up having dirty cups, glasses, breakfast bowls etc left in her which look messy, smell and get in the way for  other people using the sink. By all means use her to rinse your items which makes her happy, but please do not leave things sitting in the sink. Together we can make this kitchen a happier place if we all work together! Please help us, The Kitchen Appliance Care & Appreciation Society (KACAS)

Meanwhile, in Texas…

Oh Michael! I want you* inside me. Turn me on** and then fill me up***! *to put the dirty dishes **to the standard washing cycle ***with whatever is in the sink

related: When dishwashers speak

FILED UNDER: anthropomorphism · clip art catastrophe · dishwasher · double-entendre alert · kitchen


43 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Grant

    Jeez! Dry up will ya!

    Sep 12, 2011 at 7:25 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   madrugada

    The acronym “KACAS” is appropriate for the first note-writer, ’cause they are full of it (them?).

    Sep 12, 2011 at 7:26 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   emcd

      Definitely a fecaphile vibe here – I had never really thought of a clean load of dishes being “pooped out” before.

      Sep 12, 2011 at 7:37 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   JetJackson

      “Please help us…”

      If you are part of KACAS I think you are beyond help.

      Sep 12, 2011 at 10:23 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Receptionitis14 bang

      Better listen to them or that society may re-form as a union…

      Sep 14, 2011 at 2:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   AuntyBron

      And we’re actually expected to eat off something that got “pooped out” by an anthropomorphized kitchen appliance? Ew

      Sep 14, 2011 at 11:47 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Nahhh bang

    There’s a Disney World in London?

    Sep 12, 2011 at 7:45 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   e

    The second one is clearly some text superimposed on a photo of a blank dishwasher. Not really a “note”, right? More like some lolcat crap.

    Sep 12, 2011 at 8:50 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   taosaur

      Unless said item was printed out and affixed to a surface, such as the dishwasher, or even emailed to Michael…

      In which case it would be a kind of ostensibly humorous missive that in fact conveys latent hostility… what could we call something like that?

      Sep 12, 2011 at 9:15 am   rating: 31  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   AuntyBron

      Lookes like the ol’ Bait and Switch to me. And, you know, most people “read between the lines” to make something suggestive, not clean it up.

      Sep 14, 2011 at 11:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   applianceless

    nothing encourages use of the dishwasher quite like associating it with defecation. Suddenly, I’m glad I hand wash my dishes. You can all keep your dish-pooping machines.

    Sep 12, 2011 at 8:53 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   unsatisfied

    wow. after reading the one from texas, it sure makes me wish that my name was michael.

    ooooooohh…..ahhhhhhhhh…..

    Sep 12, 2011 at 9:11 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   divaandwriter bang

      Isn’t there a law against dishwasher abuse?

      Sep 12, 2011 at 9:38 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Charlie

    The only way to keep an office kitchen free of dirty dishes is to have a policy that they will be thrown out. As an office manager, I tried every which way to get people to clean up after themselves. After discovering the sink was being kept clean by stashing dirty dishes in the cabinet underneath, I put this throw out policy into effect. When I started following through, the dishes got washed.

    Sep 12, 2011 at 9:45 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Jan

      You sound like a jerk to work for.

      Sep 12, 2011 at 4:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   tinkerbell2

      Are you kidding? Charlie asked them to not leave dirty dishes in the sink so they put them in the cabinet? THEY sound like jerks and I’m glad Charlie made his/her point so effectively. Once the dishes ran out they must have soon realised they’d better pull their weight. TEAM CHARLIE.

      Sep 14, 2011 at 7:55 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Quite Contrary

    I’m still gasping over the thought of multiple dishwashers in the same office building. I work in a four story building and not only do we not have any dishwashers, we have one breakroom on the ground floor with drinking water. (The bathroom faucets are temp and sensor controlled.)

    Sep 12, 2011 at 9:50 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   lilmrsmchenry

    Actually, I’m kind of in love with the second one, lol. If I didn’t have so many little kids that know how to read I would put it up in my kitchen for hubby.

    Sep 12, 2011 at 10:03 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Andrea

      I’d be right there too, if it weren’t for the same reasons. I loved it.

      Sep 12, 2011 at 7:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Kim Robson

    Actually, the dishwasher looks *bored*.

    Sep 12, 2011 at 10:33 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   pony girl

      That’s because it hasn’t been turned-on lately, nor filled-up.

      Sep 12, 2011 at 6:10 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   qwsiqerfoirqoi

    I just don’t understand the sheer laziness of people. Let me give you some perspective;
    I grew up in a home without a dishwasher. All dishes had to be hand washed. I grew to despise washing dishes, and dreamed of a day when I could have that electro-mechanical wonder known as a dishwasher. Fast forward, at the age of 35 I finally got a dishwasher. I am so filled with glee that I run the damn thing EVERY OPPORTUNITY I HAVE AND SMILE MY FACE OFF AT THE PROSPECT OF LOADING IT UP.
    I cannot understand why it is so hard for soemone to put dirty dishes in a dishwasher as opposed to a sink Really, it’s the same effort, it’s not like you have to wash the damn things…

    Sep 12, 2011 at 12:20 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   The Elf

      Because the dishwasher is full of clean dishes that I haven’t gotten around to unloading yet.

      Sep 13, 2011 at 1:06 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Kyle

    I kind of want to smack the author of the first note in the face.

    Sep 12, 2011 at 1:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Quite Contrary

    The “happy” dishwasher looks a little manic to me. What did they put in the soap dish?

    Sep 12, 2011 at 1:25 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Lisap

    Not gonna lie, I would continue to not put dishes in the dishwasher to see how much more entertaining the notes would get.

    Sep 12, 2011 at 1:46 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   dwasifar

    Turn it on and THEN fill it up?

    Sounds a little sloppy.

    Ordinarily I fill the dishwasher first, and turn it on after it’s full.

    Sep 12, 2011 at 2:52 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Allie

    The first not is just damned annoying on so many levels, from the anthropomorphism to the pooh. The second makes no sense. Shouldn’t you fill the dishwasher up before you turn it on?

    Sep 12, 2011 at 3:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Allie

    Sorry, that should say “the first note,” not “the first not”

    Sep 12, 2011 at 4:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Smokey

    I am bored by this………

    Sep 12, 2011 at 4:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   wright1

      But not too bored to comment, apparently… how passive-aggressive! Well played, Smokey!

      Sep 12, 2011 at 11:02 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   MsJules

    The second post appears to be a washing machine and not a dishwasher, which would make more sense becasue you turn the machine on (ie so it can start filling up with water) then you fill it with clothes…. I think the labeling on the first one is off.

    Sep 12, 2011 at 5:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   pony girl

      You mean the photo of the machine with the logo dishlex on it?

      Sep 12, 2011 at 6:08 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Jesse

    Did THX Sandra get a new job here?

    Sep 12, 2011 at 5:16 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   The Elf

      No hats. Can’t be her.

      Sep 13, 2011 at 1:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   mchz

    “poop it out fresh and sparkling” is not a phrase i ever thought i’d hear.

    Sep 12, 2011 at 5:25 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   MD bang

      Alas, you have scorned unicorns.

      They only defecate glitter and rainbows.

      Sep 12, 2011 at 10:37 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   butt

    The happy face is Yes Man from Fallout: New Vegas, hah

    Sep 12, 2011 at 10:44 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   wright1

    What a two-faced slut that dishwasher is… does she seriously expect Michael to believe they’re in an exclusive relationship when she admits she likes being filled with whatever is in the sink??

    Don’t let her break your heart, Michael! You deserve better!

    Sep 12, 2011 at 11:12 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   MD bang

    The dishwasher doesn’t look ‘sad’.

    The dishwasher looks like it just witnessed a sudden and violent decapitation.

    Of a family member.

    Sep 13, 2011 at 5:50 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   PANs_Labyrinth bang

    Writing “for” an appliance, tool, pet, part of a building etc. in first person is by far the tackiest form of passive-aggressiveness, and always makes me cringe in embarrassment for whoever wrote the crap.

    Sep 13, 2011 at 8:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Angie

    I am so team note-writer on the first one. It amazes me that grown adults will leave dishes in a sink for other people to put in the dishwasher.

    I’m the first person into the office most mornings so I unload it most of the time, and I don’t mind that, but I hate rinsing someone else’s dirty dishes.

    Sep 13, 2011 at 9:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   Receptionitis14 bang

      I totally agree with you, in fact many of my past jobs I was the one doing the office dishes and we didn’t have a dishwasher. I would have killed for a dishwasher however upon arrival at my new job I have come to find the best solution to the problem is no sink at all.

      The only thing that really bothers me is the whole KACAS deal and represenatation of inanimate objects. It’s just plain annoying.

      Sep 14, 2011 at 2:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     

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