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The old “wipe & walk” trick

September 21st, 2011 · 117 comments

Option a) “Hey, Iva, could you buy some TP? We’re out.”

Option b) Several weeks of seething funneled into eight six colored markers’ worth of heart exclamation point smiley THREAT heart heart.

And the winner is…

Dear Iva, I hope you had a nice day!! :) When I moved in, I bought 6 rolls of TP & a giant tissue box. Heather bought 6 more TP rolls & the paper towel box. Unless for some reason you do not shit, pee, or wash your hands, you have used all of those things.  THEY ARE GONE. Please replenish these items by Thursday latest. If you don't, Heath & I will continue buying those things, but we will keep them in our rooms for when WE would like to pee. That sounds really funny and everything but I'M ACTUALLY NOT KIDDING. We appreciate it!! heart heart Bell

Gee, Bell, that IS funny, cuz you really threw me off with that “I hope you had a nice day!! <3 :)” shit. (I’M ACTUALLY KIDDING. I WILL CUT YOU.)

related: One sure sign your roommate situation isn’t working out?

FILED UNDER: heart · mean girls · not-so-veiled threats · rainbow-colored · roommates · signed with love · smiley · toilet paper

117 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Rhamza

    I only see 7 different colors of marks there, where did get 8? just wondering…

    Sep 21, 2011 at 10:11 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Ravvie

      I only see 6 colors of markers there, where did you get 7? Just wondering…

      Sep 21, 2011 at 10:29 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   Rhamza

      there are two different colors of green, or that is what I see at least.

      Sep 21, 2011 at 10:36 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #1.3   Sarah

      I see 6.

      Sep 21, 2011 at 10:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #1.4   Kerry bang

      Yeah, I can’t count.

      Sep 21, 2011 at 10:50 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #1.5   JetJackson

      I see 3 greens, 2 at the top, 1 of which is used in the bottom half again. ‘Please replenish these…” is written in a 3rd green, not used elsewhere in the note.

      I think it is crucial we get the count right.

      Sep 21, 2011 at 11:24 pm   rating: 83  small thumbs up

    • #1.6   Boo Diddly

      two different shades of green.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 2:20 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #1.7   Grant

      Never mind. We luvs ya anyway Kerry!
      This is very nearly the epitome of PAN leaving.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 3:49 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #1.8   Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

      The real test of passive aggressiveness is the number of colour changes, not the number of colours. That requires going to the effort of putting your marker down and picking up a new one. I count 9 of those. I wasn’t counting the 2 shades of green, because I suspect that it was the same marker but it was drying out then she licked it or something to get it going again. Something like that anyway; maybe she was holding it at the wrong angle first or something.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 4:30 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #1.9   The Elf

      That’s because only wizards and witches can see the octarine. It’s at the bottom, next to the signature, and it says “Don’t make me cut you!”

      Sep 22, 2011 at 8:03 am   rating: 45  small thumbs up

    • #1.10   TeamRedhead

      I see dead people….

      Sep 22, 2011 at 9:29 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #2   wow


    Sep 21, 2011 at 10:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   FeRD bang


      Sep 22, 2011 at 5:06 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   park rose

      you sure are

      Sep 23, 2011 at 2:40 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #3   JetJackson

    Come 2032 we will have the 3 seashells and this problem will be redundant.

    Sep 21, 2011 at 10:26 pm   rating: 36  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Kelly

      I can’t imagine a world where we won’t use handfuls of wadded up paper to wipe our bums. Oh wait, I guess I can…. But how do you use those 3 seashells?

      Sep 21, 2011 at 11:05 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   JetJackson

      I don’t know… a friend of mine is doing a masters in water treatment and they were discussing in a lecture the other day about what various cultures use to wipe their asses with – which is important in deciding on what sanitation chemicals to use that can break down said items. These items include;
      - Corn cobs
      - Stones – yes stones!
      - Sponges
      - Sticks
      - Rags
      - Leaves

      Apparently corn cobs work really well.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 12:59 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #3.3   The Elf

      Gives new meaning to “corn hole” doesn’t it?

      Sep 22, 2011 at 8:07 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #3.4   El Jefe

      Elf, would you settle for “repeats the old meaning”?

      Sep 22, 2011 at 9:28 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #3.5   The Elf

      Lol, yes! That’s what I meant, but I was low on caffeine when I wrote that post. The bakery I go to didn’t fill their self-serve coffee urns, and for some reason the baker got all upset when I screamed “YOU’RE OUT OF COFFEE!!! OH MY GOD, YOU’RE OUT OF COFFEE!! HOW CAN YOU BE OUT OF COFFEE!?!” whilst pounding the counter as hard as I could. I thought he was going to burst a blood vessel in his head, he was so mad! I had to get out of there, and I just wasn’t thinking straight when I made that post. Thankfully, a lot of other places sell coffee and I was able to get my fix there, so I’m feeling fine now.

      Just fine….. (twitch)

      Sep 22, 2011 at 11:51 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

  • #4   Tara

    People like this are so creepy. They think they’re sparing their roommate’s feelings but snitty little messages like this are so much more telling of a person’s true character than if they just straight up said “it’s your turn to buy the toilet paper this week, thanks.”

    We ran out of toilet paper in my apartment this week and, guess what, my roommate nicely asked me if I could buy it this time and I said sure, no problem and promptly did! Maybe I’m just living in a parallel universe where people are normal and civil to each other? I swear guys, such a place exists.

    Sep 21, 2011 at 10:32 pm   rating: 89  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   shwo! bang

      I’m sorry, I couldn’t follow your story because it was only written in one color.

      Sep 21, 2011 at 11:02 pm   rating: 165  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   Singh

      I agree with Tara. Just tell them straight to their face like it is! And if they get annoyed, that’s their problem.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 7:55 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #4.3   FeRD bang

      Ohhhh, I don’t believe notewriters like this yahoo have any illusions about sparing the roommate’s feelings, nor do they even give two shits about the roommate’s feelings. It’s nothing so magnanimous (if misguided) or charitable.

      No, they write notes in this “cheery facade” fashion purely for the sake of their own feelings, and nothing else. (And, in fact, do everything they can to ensure that the recipient hears the (as Kerry tagged) “not-so-veiled threat” loud and clear. I bet the notewriter would be utterly delighted to learn that receiving this sort of transparently-dickish screed actually made the recipient feel worse than a direct and honest confrontation would.)

      My suspicion is that people who write notes (or interact with others) using such a forced, exaggeratedly-cheery tone are doing it because they’ve convinced themselves that’s what being happy is.

      They think, if they face the world sounding cheerful and carefree and bright and happy, then obviously they must really be happy. If they can do it even in tense or potentially-unhappy situations, then they didn’t let it get to them — they must really be very happy! Sweet 6-color Christ, That’s Some Primo Happy!!

      Which makes me worry that, deep down inside, they’re stuck wondering what actual happiness must feel like. :(

      Sep 22, 2011 at 5:34 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #4.4   Amy in Toronto

      “Which makes me worry that, deep down inside, they’re stuck wondering what actual happiness must feel like”. Apparently, it feels like wiping one’s butt with a corncob! :)

      Sep 23, 2011 at 1:04 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #4.5   ellie

      but… then again… why is it so hard for ppl to realize that it’s their turn to buy TP?
      why does it have to get to a place where you have to leave a note?

      my roommate didn’t buy TP for 6 months. so I didn’t leave a note, I just hid my personal stash.

      I swear to god, it took another week for him to finally realize there would be no more free TP. at what point is the a-hole who doesn’t realize it’s their turn?

      I have live successfully with other folks on and off in my life, and we wordlessly understood when it was one’s turn to cough up the TP.

      the jury finds in the favor of notewriter

      Sep 26, 2011 at 7:48 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #5   Melissa

    Is Heather and Heath the same person?

    Sep 21, 2011 at 10:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   shwo! bang

      No, Heather is more Heath than Heath.

      Sep 21, 2011 at 11:02 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   bored@work

      But, not quite as Heath as Heathest.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 8:12 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #5.3   emcd

      How did Heath Ledger get dragged into this?

      Sep 22, 2011 at 9:15 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #5.4   park rose

      I’ve only noticed that Heath Ledger and Heathcliff kind of share the same name – the second part, that is (if you cut the ‘r’ from Ledger). Don’t push me, cos I’m close to the (l)edge . . .

      All that Heath has to do is give Iva a wuthering look, and s/he will spring into action. Bet you could work “Brokeback Mountain” into it somehow too. You know, bare-bum wiping (with stones). I throw down the allusions gauntlet! Anyone game enough to pick it up? (It hasn’t been used in lieu of toilet paper. Promise.).

      Sep 23, 2011 at 2:50 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #6   shesajem

    wow she really took the time to use different colours and also be an asswhole.

    Sep 21, 2011 at 10:59 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Jimmy James

      Asswhole? Well, I suppose taking the time to use different colors isn’t half-assing it.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 8:39 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #6.2   unsatisfied

      yes, bell definitely used the whole ass.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 9:54 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

  • #7   shwo! bang

    Each personality gets its own color.

    Sep 21, 2011 at 11:03 pm   rating: 78  small thumbs up

  • #8   Mel

    I hate both of these type of roommates. Try to avoid writing a stupid/rude note with markers like you’re some primary education major. For the other type of roommate: if possible, try and help out! Contribute by helping to buy basic items like tissue and toilet paper–or buy your own! Simple as that. Or wipe your butt with this note. THAT would be hilarious.

    Sep 21, 2011 at 11:45 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   shwo! bang

      And it would be another color!

      Sep 21, 2011 at 11:53 pm   rating: 43  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   PermaFrog

      Um, try not to assume that elementary/primary education majors do this. That’s not true at all. I hate the people that assume that we like to write name tags, cut out shapes, and color stuff. At university, no less. More often than not, it’s sorority girls writing like this with many colored markers, making an effort to color code stuff. I have come across more sorority girls doing this than el.ed. majors doing this. Thanks.

      Sep 29, 2011 at 4:56 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #9   galesburgbrat

    I can understand the concept – I share a bathroom with the person in the next apartment over… and I have written a note asking that he not use MY toilet paper. But the situation is a bit different than this one, as we don’t dwell in the same living area and I don’t see him every day (or at all, even). Plus my bum is special and refuses to tolerate Dollar Tree type TP so I buy the expensive stuff and get pissy when it’s used by those not in my family! In this situation, as someone already pointed out, a simple “your turn to buy” is all that’s really necessary!

    Sep 21, 2011 at 11:47 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Serenity

      where do you live that you have to share a bathroom with someone you don’t know? I mean, you said apartment, not dorm, so that seems odd to me. I wouldn’t like that.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 12:03 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #9.2   CS

      I’ve seen videos of old apartment buildings (one in Manhattan, I think) that have a set-up like that. It does seem a lot like dorm living in some ways, but without all the rules and hopefully without so many idiotic kids drunk on their own freedom. But it’s supposed to be pretty cheap, I think.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 11:06 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #9.3   amanda

      @ Serenity — I was apartment hunting in the last month and came across a building that had two shared bathrooms per floor. I’d never heard of it either but it does exist!

      Sep 24, 2011 at 12:10 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #10   dejahthoris

    How much you wanna bet Iva will have to wipe her ass with that note

    Sep 22, 2011 at 12:14 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #11   tch tch

    When I was a kid we used gum leaves if we were out in the never never. Young green leaves are best – old ones can get a bit scratchy.

    Sep 22, 2011 at 1:16 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #12   TinyBallOfLight

    Well, I’m sorry, but Bell is a huge hypocrite. She leaves nasty notes for Iva saying she hadn’t contributed, but apparently Heath hasn’t contributed yet either. You don’t see Heath getting nasty notes from Bell and Heather. Only Iva is being threatened. Hmph. Favoritism.

    Sep 22, 2011 at 3:14 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   T

      It says right in the note that Heather also bought TP and paper towels

      Sep 22, 2011 at 5:09 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #12.2   twhit

      But what did Heath buy? NOTHING. (yes I know it’s the same person and I’m guessing TinyBallOfLight knew that too)

      Sep 22, 2011 at 11:39 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #12.3   TinyBallOfLight

      Yes, exactly. You’re my new favorite, twhit. =)

      Sep 22, 2011 at 5:28 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #13   Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

    Wait…do girls wipe after they pee? I mean, now that I think about it, it makes sense. I’ve just never thought about it before, because the male anatomy makes it unnecessary. This post has opened my eyes anew.

    EDIT: I mean that he male anatomy makes wiping after peeing unnecessary, not that the male anatomy makes thinking unnecessary.

    Sep 22, 2011 at 4:28 am   rating: 44  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Grant

      If you don’t wipe your member after peeing, you get water on the brain. Just remember that.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 5:09 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #13.2   The Elf

      Your inexperience with women has just become blatantly obvious.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 8:13 am   rating: 45  small thumbs up

    • #13.3   Clumber

      I like the implication pre-EDIT better, myself.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 9:10 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #13.4   Zorin

      Unless a guy is into watersports, they typically don’t watch their SO pee.

      So it’s no surprise that a guy wouldn’t know this, regardless of how many women he’s dated.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 2:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #13.5   Sarah A

      Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff,
      Please enlighten me as to how the male anatomy makes wiping after urinating unnecessary! When my boyfriend and I are relaxing at home and he’s just in his boxers…the front always has a little wet pee mark when he comes back from a trip to the toilet. Drives me insane. :(

      Sep 22, 2011 at 2:51 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #13.6   sleeps

      Ok, as an old married lady, I have to say that a. the male anatomy does not make wiping after a pee unnecessary, as evidenced by the drips and dribbles around and on the toilet seat after my husband is done, and b. I have been peeing with a general disregard to whether my husband was or was not present in the bathroom since about 6 months in to our relationship (maybe less), and while I have to say that he doesn’t watch me pee (unless it’s a pregnancy scare), I’m sure he’s aware that I wipe every time I sit down.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 3:52 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

    • #13.7   SkinnyBish


      If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be sweet and wipe the seat.

      A married woman who has stuck around despite the alarming number of times she’s discovered a bare cardboard tube where the toilet paper should be.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 5:24 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #13.8   Angie

      I absolutely refuse to pee in front of anyone (when I’m in the bathroom the door is shut and stays shut. My officemate told me that her family comes in and pees while she’s in the shower and I was like “OH HELL NO.”

      So I can imagine that someone could not know that women have to wipe after they pee, if they’d been with women who, like me, consider the bathroom “private time”.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 8:31 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #13.9   park rose

      Oh come on Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff. No need to qualify. The male anatomy is the be all and end all of masculine intellect, isn’t it?

      Sep 23, 2011 at 3:06 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #13.10   Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

      My wife decided to go back to university last year, at the age of 29. I have noticed now that I use about a quarter as much toilet paper now that she lives in university accomodation instead of at home with me. This explains it.

      Sep 23, 2011 at 9:16 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #13.11   Mrs.Beasley

      OK, Doc – at the risk of getting WAY too technical, another reason why the female of the species tends to use up more TP than the male involves dispatching what are euphemistically referred to as “feminine hygiene products” by wrapping them in a bit of TP prior to disposal in the waste bin.

      I suppose not every female takes this extra step, but suffice it to say that skipping it can result in a waste basket spectacle at which you would no doubt be aghast. I mean, if it never occurred to you that ladies must dab after each pee, it probably never occurred to you that even more complicated ablutions are going on, either.

      Sep 23, 2011 at 10:50 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #13.12   jdaniel

      I thought that was the purpose of going Brazilian…

      Sep 25, 2011 at 12:01 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #13.13   Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

      I’ve been married for 10 years, Mrs Beasley. Believe me, I know all about that sort of thing. It was specifically the wiping after peeing that was a revelation to me.

      Sep 25, 2011 at 5:20 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #13.14   anglophile

      OK, look, do we really have to Google for you? When women piss, there’s a lot of surfaces that can get in the way of the stream and get urine on them. Women, apparently unlike you, don’t like walking around with pee on them. Thus they wipe. Maybe next time you should open your eyes when you go down on your wife, then you would see something like this. (NSFW, unless you work in a gynecologist or urologist’s office)

      Sep 25, 2011 at 7:11 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #13.15   The Elf

      That link deserves a thumb.

      Sep 27, 2011 at 6:19 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #14   emcd

    Note writer only mentions pooping, peeing and hand washing in the note. Will there be a separate note concerning snot and use of the tissues from the “giant tissue box”? I can only hope!!

    Sep 22, 2011 at 9:20 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Eileen

      The giant tissue box was used when the TP ran out. I would hope they didn’t use paper towels as TP — ouch!

      Sep 22, 2011 at 6:29 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #14.2   Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

      Paper towels would be better than actual towels.

      Sep 23, 2011 at 9:17 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #15   Cognitive Dissenter


    Sep 22, 2011 at 9:21 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #16   Laura

    Sorry, but I’m on team PA-note-writer. If you’ve ever had roommates, you know how infuriating it is when they try to be cheap bastards and refuse to buy common use items just so that they don’t have to spend the money on it. And how infuriating it is when you tell them to buy their shit several times and they don’t listen.

    Sep 22, 2011 at 9:32 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Kim

      I would have reminded them verbally a couple of times when the last roll is on the holder that it was their turn to buy. If no new TP appears by the time the roll is done, I would just start bringing my own TP in and keeping it in my room. With no warning. Guaranteed the problem is solved within 24 hours.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 10:56 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #16.2   twhit

      It’s not about the fact that Iva needs to buy TP, and she is an ass for needing to be told. Being passive-aggressive doesn’t mean you’re wrong, it just shows that your communication skills are immature/lacking.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 11:43 am   rating: 35  small thumbs up

    • #16.3   Lucy

      I have been in Bell’s situation many times and have managed to refrain from writing PA notes. But I’ve been tempted. Not replacing bog roll (as we call it in the UK)* is pretty lazy.

      *If you’re not posh.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 1:51 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #16.4   Zorin

      @twhit If your life is busy, it’s very easy to forget to buy supplies, especially if someone else keeps replenishing them. Trust me on this.

      This is why reminders like this need to be gentle, unless it’s a pervasive and continuing problem.

      “Hey, next time you’re in the store could you pick up some TP? We’re low and it’s your turn to buy.”

      That’s all you need. No stupid notes, no threats, no drama. Just ask. Any reasonable person will say

      “No problem, sorry for forgetting”

      and buy the damn TP. And if they don’t, you need to find better roomies. :)

      Sep 22, 2011 at 2:13 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #16.5   park rose

      Just how sorry are you though, Laura?

      Sep 23, 2011 at 3:08 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #16.6   Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

      When I was at university about a thousand years ago, I lived in a house with three other chaps and two girls. I had my own stash of toilet paper, which I used and never used anyone elses. We had never had a discussion in which it was decided that we would share, so I assumed everyone had their own.

      Eventually the two girls left a snarky note on the bathroom door about how they were fed up of buying all the toilet roll.. Turns out that the two girls assumed we’d all be sharing and all the boys assumed we’d just use our own. None of us had used the girls’ toilet paper at all.

      Just goes to show; if you write a snotty note without first speaking to your housemate to get all the facts first, you’re a dick.

      Sep 23, 2011 at 9:21 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #16.7   Kim

      I think it’s odd that you boys bought your own TP. So every time you had to go you picked up your roll and brought it with you and ignored the roll that was on the holder?

      No offense intended, it just sounds like an odd thing for roommates to do.

      Sep 23, 2011 at 12:17 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #16.8   Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

      There wasn’t actually a holder. The girls’ rolls were on the window ledge. When you move into university accommodation you generally don’t know the people you’re moving in with; you just get assigned a room, so to me it seems pretty odd to assume you’d be sharing things with these total strangers who you only have contact with because you share a kitchen and bathroom but who are otherwise completely separate from you.

      Sep 25, 2011 at 5:05 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #17   Murpedo

    She only uses black when she wants to print in block capitals. Black is the SERIOUS COLOUR.

    Sep 22, 2011 at 10:30 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

  • #18   unsatisfied

    iva, heather/heath and bell?

    what the hell kind of names are these?

    Sep 22, 2011 at 10:31 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   anglophile bang

      They live at Cold Comfort Farm with Elfine and the rest of the Starkadders.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 3:08 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #18.2   unsatisfied

      elfine and starkadders?

      what the hell kind of names are these?

      Sep 22, 2011 at 3:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #18.3   sleeps

      Sep 22, 2011 at 3:55 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #18.4   kantiankitten

      as the person who submitted this, i can tell you that “bell” is short for “isabel”

      Sep 22, 2011 at 5:03 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #18.5   TinyBallOfLight

      Well then Iva…you should know that it’s apparently your turn to buy supplies such as TP, paper towels and a “huge box of Kleenex.”

      Oh, and if you want to score a few brownie points, you might want to go the extra mile and throw in a bottle of dish soap/dishwasher detergent and hand soap. Those things can be purchased at the DOLLAR STORE. Do you have a few dollars? Just sayyyying…

      Sep 22, 2011 at 5:37 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #18.6   kantiankitten

      hahaha, i am none of the people mentioned in this note. i just (very) casually know the girl who wrote it.

      Sep 22, 2011 at 8:47 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #18.7   TeamRedhead

      They’re obviously vampires, which makes the need for TP that much more confusing….

      Sep 22, 2011 at 9:38 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #18.8   park rose

      Hells Bell!

      Sep 23, 2011 at 2:57 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #18.9   unsatisfied

      @sleeps — thanks for that. but, my question was more, shall we say, rhetorical.

      @kantiankitty — if her name is isabel, should it not be “bel”?

      Sep 23, 2011 at 8:12 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #18.10   The Elf

      In these days of “creative” spelling, we should be happy she doesn’t go by B’ylrle (pronounced Bell, of course).

      Sep 23, 2011 at 9:35 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #18.11   kantiankitten

      @unsatisfied… I think she likes to pretend her name is “isabelle” instead because it’s prettier looking or whatever.

      Sep 23, 2011 at 12:37 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #18.12   Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

      I know a Bell Jar. Seriously. I assume that her parents were massively pretentious.

      Sep 25, 2011 at 5:08 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #19   Kate

    Back up there.
    It is inferred in this note that they are drying their hands on paper towels.
    That is just massively wasteful.

    Sep 22, 2011 at 12:17 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

      I don’t understand that either. Why would anyone dry their hands on paper towels when there are perfectly good front-of-your-jeans they could be using?

      Sep 23, 2011 at 9:31 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

  • #20   Brian H

    I understand being peeved with someone not chipping in or what but to cart your roll fm room to bathroom? That’s too much, just ask the person to steal the TP from the university library like everyone else.

    Sep 22, 2011 at 1:40 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   jadefirefly

      I’ve totally stored TP in my room and brought it with me when I went to the bathroom. I had a roommate for whom neither polite requests, polite notes (she was always ‘too busy’ to be home during normal hours of the day) and snarky notes failed to elicit any response at all.

      I don’t just mean she didn’t buy it. I mean she flat ignored it.

      So I bought my own and didn’t share it. She ponied up REAL fast after that.

      Sep 23, 2011 at 12:39 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #20.2   jdaniel

      I just take bathroom sessions at the office.

      Sep 25, 2011 at 12:08 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #21   unsatisfied

    these guys think they have problems?!??

    facebook just changed its layout!!!

    it’s chaos, I tell ya!

    Sep 22, 2011 at 3:12 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   FeRD bang

      And, apparently, the chaos is contagious. Most distressful.

      I recommend instituting emergency quarantine procedures immediately. Protect the PANoply!

      Sep 22, 2011 at 5:41 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #22   Sidney

    I hate all three people living in the house just based on that note.

    Sep 22, 2011 at 7:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #23   Poison

    Some people are just naturally clueless and don’t realize/remember who bought what or when it is their turn. I had a roommate like this. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to contribute – but she would forget. It was nothing to get upset about. Usually we’d just say, “Hey —-, can you get (dish soap) on your way home.” No big deal.

    At the same time, however, I did live with an infuriating roommate who made our lives a living hell. And she was VERY passive aggressive. In fact, I wish I would have known about this website two years ago so I could have posted all the weird notes she would leave lying around – much like this one! I just used to write, “F—- you” on them and leave them on her bed. If she couldn’t come and talk to us about it, I didn’t listen to her. When she would come home, I would tell her, “I left your note on your bed. I told you that I wasn’t going to read them if you couldn’t be an adult and come and talk to us about these things. So, what did you have a problem with?”

    One problem was stuff like this.We all agreed to share common things like milk and eggs to save room in the fridge. Bitchy Roommate (BR) would ALWAYS use all of the milk and not replace it. It got to the point where my other roommate and I were each buying a gallon a week.

    We brought this up to BR. Just asking her if she could buy some milk… that’s it! She then said, “I bought it last time!” We had to correct her. She sulked. Then she started counting and measuring everything to an obnoxious degree. Toilet paper was one thing. She’d buy a huge pack of toilet paper – and then refuse money when we’d offer to help with the cost. It made her feel “superior” that SHE bought the toilet paper. Then she’d throw it in our faces when we would tell her that it was her turn to buy milk or something. Or complain, loudly, on the phone to her boyfriend that WE never bought the toilet paper – when the huge pack that she bought had lasted the entire month.

    We finally just started buying everything separate because she was making us want to rip our hair out with her passive aggressive games.

    …There was much much more. Horrible memories… I think I’m still a little psychologically scarred from living with her (not just over toilet paper and milk). My other former roommate and I still talk about the outright crazy stuff that she did to us.

    Sep 22, 2011 at 9:15 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   park rose

      Whenever I lived in shared housing, we had a kitty. Everyone would contribute a certain amount each week, and would take turns to do the grocery shopping and so on. It usually worked out fine, but I know it doesn’t work that way all the time.

      Sep 23, 2011 at 3:13 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #23.2   Grant

      We had a kitty too, until it died of starvation when one person refused to go down the shop to buy kitty food.

      Sep 23, 2011 at 4:47 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #23.3   park rose

      Ah, you get all the thumbs, Grant, but it’s an easy joke (NTTAWWT). At least you didn’t mention various synonyms.

      Sep 23, 2011 at 7:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #23.4   SilentPsycho

      Oh god, the memories. I had a housemate just like this. Unfortunately, I’m of the clueless type, and his method of reminding me was to scream that I was a retarded child.

      I survived a year with him, mainly by just staying up in my room and almost never coming out.

      Sep 24, 2011 at 4:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #23.5   TinyBallOfLight

      That’s so sad! Glad you got out of that after only 1 year…

      Sep 24, 2011 at 9:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #23.6   Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

      Sharing can be complicated. One place I lived we agreed to share milk and things, which was fine. But I used to buy a really expensive fancy full-cream brand of milk as a special treat for myself ( – it’s awesome!).

      I would also buy a large container of regular milk from the supermarket as my contribution to the household.

      I thought I was being quite reasonable, but my housemates insisted on considering the fancy milk to be community property as well as the regular milk.

      I think it would be so much simpler if everyone just had their own stuff and didn’t touch anyone else’s stuff, but if you say that to people you seem churlish. It doesn’t really make sense to me, because by suggesting that people don’t share you’re not being selfish because you’re denying yourself access to other people’s stuff just as much as you’re denying them access to yours, so it all balances out.

      Sep 25, 2011 at 5:15 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #23.7   Susan

      Absolutely. I just wrote about a similar experience. I suspect that people who think this note was heinously out of line might be the kind of people who never buy the toilet paper, milk, etc.

      Oct 2, 2011 at 1:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #24   Lorel

    Why all the happy faces and hearts? is Bell trying to pretend she’s not a bitch?

    Sep 23, 2011 at 7:21 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #25   The Elf

    Why is it that whenever I read this note, I hear it in the voice of GLaDOS? Next she’ll offer us cake and tell us of the day she saw a deer.

    Taking a dump without TP: now you’re thinking with portals.

    Sep 23, 2011 at 9:39 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #26   Amy in Toronto

    @ The Elf: I love you for that comment.

    Sep 23, 2011 at 1:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #27   Anygirl

    Just a thought for all of you out there who seem to been quick to jump the gun on the note writer here. It’s very easy in this situation to critisize her for being harsh or snippy with her breif note but you have to take into account that there are people and i know some for sure who simply CHOOSE NOT TO RESPOND to even the nice or persistant but kind reminders. Almost everyone seems to be assuming that “Bell” just decided to sit down and write a note like this because they didnt have any TP left and she thought it would get the job done. Sure she and “Heather” could have bought there own stuff and kept it but thats not really the point obviously that is going to be the outcome either way. What people fail to give her credit for is the fact that this roomate could be completely unbotherd by the fact that the other girls pay for everything and she could very well have just been useing what was there and not giving two shits that the other girls probably told her a couple times they were running low on the bathroom nessesities.

    Sep 26, 2011 at 12:30 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #28   Anygirl

    What if in this case Iva is in fact being increadibly selfish maybe in this instance she is finally geting the respose she deserves and coincidentaly the one she might have egged on “Belle” into giving her. There are lots of individuals who can make even the happiest most level headed person insane and frusterated with ther inability to cooperate or pitch in.

    Sep 26, 2011 at 12:39 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   yawn

      Shhh, Bell, its ok. Don’t start worrying about what the rest of the world thinks now! You bought SIX WHOLE ROLLS of toilet paper. AND a giant tissue box! AND she MADE YOU use up several different color markers!!! That b—- Iva can rot in colorless, paperless hell!

      Sep 26, 2011 at 9:34 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #28.2   Susan

      $10 says Yawn is Iva.

      Oct 2, 2011 at 1:11 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #29   Anygirl

    Ah yes because im aparently the only other indovodual whos been in this situation i must in fact be the writer of the note. Fortunately im not, ive had to deal with a similar situation thankfully it was only for a breif period of time.

    Sep 26, 2011 at 11:24 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #30   YAR


    Oct 1, 2011 at 5:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #31   Susan

    Gotta say — while I don’t get the six shades of magic marker, my sympathies are more with the person who left the note than with the person who received it. Haven’t we all lived with the person who never, ever, ever bought the jointly used supplies like toilet paper? Sure, the note-leaver could have spoken directly to the jerk who never buys toilet paper. But out of the two evils, the jerk who never contributes is by far the worse. It should be *obvious* that you buy toilet paper once in a while. No one should have to point it out.

    I may be extra sympathetic because I did try to directly confront a roommate who never did any cleaning and never bought toilet paper and paper towels. To top it off, she had a cat and never changed the litter box. When I confronted her, she insisted that it wasn’t true that she never cleaned or bought stuff. I challenged her to name the last time she’d done either. She couldn’t. We had an enormous fight. I moved out as soon as I could afford the first month/last month rent on a new apartment.

    The moral is — when someone is jerk enough to do something that is obviously wrong, or not do something that is obviously right, confronting them politely often doesn’t do a damn thing. That only works when you’re dealing with a nice person who genuinely wants to be inoffensive and cooperative.

    Oct 2, 2011 at 1:06 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up


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