“My supervisor posted this notice in the ladies’ restroom in the lobby of our office,” says our submitter in Louisiana, “but it was directed solely at me.” (One of the more vocal anti-air freshener employees on staff, our submitter’s desk happens to be located immediately outside the restroom.)
Despite the fact that, as our submitter put it, “that Summer Breeze crap smells like a giant migraine,” her boss declared that “Lemon Peel is a ‘masculine scent’ more suited for the men’s room.” Adds our submitter: “I still haven’t figured out the identities of all these people who are lamenting the absence of the Summer Breeze.”
![To whomever is removing the Staples Summer Breeze Dry Air Freshener and replacing it with the Staples Lemon Peel Dry Air Freshener: Please stop doing this immediately; it seems as though [?] prefers the Summer Breeze. Several have complained about it disappearing. Thank you in advance.](http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6166/6176059038_c8e8f1d597.jpg "To whomever is removing the Staples Summer Breeze Dry Air Freshener and replacing it with the Staples Lemon Peel Dry Air Freshener: Please stop doing this immediately; it seems as though [?] prefers the Summer Breeze. Several have complained about it disappearing. Thank you in advance.")
related: Please spray your corpses BEFORE placing them in the restroom
extra credit: “How ‘fresh’ is air freshener?” [Time.com]
121 responses so far ↓
#1
Nick
The supervisor accidentally a word in there.
Sep 29, 2011 at 6:43 pm rating: 80
#2
Luke
This just reinforces the idea that 90% of managers have no idea how to manage.
Sep 29, 2011 at 6:43 pm rating: 60
#3
rebekah
Carcinogens that smell like Douches ? Or Carcinogens that smell like Citrus. The choice is just So Hard.
HIDE the damn things, As Many Times as It Takes, till the Mgr gives up and stops putting them in there.
Sep 29, 2011 at 6:53 pm rating: 69
#4
Katie
My favorite part of this note is the use of the registered trademark symbol on STAPLES!
Sep 29, 2011 at 7:08 pm rating: 65
#5
Dannemund
Why not try those in-bowl fresheners? It works great for me and the husband, and he’s the foulest bathroom user in the history of foulness and bathrooms, respectively.
They don’t really smell like anything, either (unless it’s lemon-scented, those are gross).
Sep 29, 2011 at 7:18 pm rating: 8
#6
tch tch
Install an industrial strength exhaust fan that’s set to a timer and automatically comes on if the “depositor” has been in restive contemplation for more than 2 minutes.
Sep 29, 2011 at 7:23 pm rating: 5
#7
Amanda
Isn’t “Summer’s Breeze” a brand of douche?
Sep 29, 2011 at 7:36 pm rating: 9
#8
pony girl
In this day and age, she should be able to get a doctor’s note that would get the air-fresheners banned and a desk elsewhere.
She could throw in a fake peanut allergy just to fuck with everyone, as well.
Sweet, sweet (non-carcinogenic summer breeze/lemon) revenge.
Sep 29, 2011 at 8:26 pm rating: 23
#9
garicgymro
I think the use of “whomever” instead of “whoever” and the trademark symbol after Staples both say something similar about the person who wrote this.
Sep 29, 2011 at 8:35 pm rating: 20
#10
Hane
Because everyone knows that men naturally smell just like lemons.
Sep 29, 2011 at 8:36 pm rating: 43
#11
Carrie
I think that Summers Eve is the douche. But hey, close enough!
Sep 29, 2011 at 9:02 pm rating: 2
#12
Blake
‘It seems as though prefers…’
WHO? WHO? For the love of all that is good, tell me WHO prefers…?
Or to summarize: MAKE COMPLETE SENTENCES.
Sep 29, 2011 at 9:46 pm rating: 18
#13
litchic
She’s right — it does smell like a migraine. People don’t realize how easily some things trigger migraines (and the asthmatic coughing I would be doing that would ruin everyone’s peaceful environment).
Sometimes I would like to have the power to transfer my migraine to someone who’s never had one — just for like 3 minutes or so. Enough time for them to start begging for their mommy and bargaining with God to make it stop. That would be cool.
Sep 29, 2011 at 9:47 pm rating: 44
#14
Old Uncle Toe
My mind wanders to the people who prefer the summer breeze flavor. Do they stay in there and bask in the aroma?
In my world, if the room needs a spritz, I’m out of there too fast to form an opinion of the air freshener.
Sep 29, 2011 at 9:55 pm rating: 32
#15
looney
I’m so sorry, and yet so grateful, I’m not the only one who has experienced odor-induced migraines.
Nobody I come into contact with on a regular basis seems to understand my aversion to
* air “freshener”,
* an incense-choked room (especially “dragon’s blood” ick),
* heavily perfumed elderly folks, AXE body spray, or
* the laundry products aisle in any store.
Sep 30, 2011 at 12:51 am rating: 27
#16
Somebody Else
A lady near the room of rest
increasingly came to detest
the spritz of the Summer
(it gave her a bummer)
so she purloined all cans with much zest.
Sep 30, 2011 at 1:42 am rating: 33
#17
Somebody Else
A boss man who dropped words with ease,
thought noses far and wide he would please,
when he posted a jibe
on behalf of the tribe
who yearned for their foul Summer’s Breeze.
Sep 30, 2011 at 2:00 am rating: 29
#18
AZB
As a dear friend once put it as he was spraying air freshener in the bathroom like crazy: “It did just smell like sh*t in here. Now it smells like someone took a sh*t in a rose garden!”
Sep 30, 2011 at 4:00 am rating: 28
#19
The Elf
I don’t get the air freshner in a bathroom anyway. These bathrooms have exhaust fans, right? Run the fan. Don’t make the bathroom smell like flowers AND shit.
Sep 30, 2011 at 7:02 am rating: 3
#20
havingfitz
They keep putting a fake strawberry one up at my work. Most days it smells like Strawberry Shortcake is having some severe intestinal issues.
Sep 30, 2011 at 7:36 am rating: 32
#21
Canthz_B
Seals and Crofts removed the air freshener. Copyright infringement.
♫ “Summer breeze
makes me feel fine
blowing through the jasmine in my mind.” ♫
Sep 30, 2011 at 7:41 am rating: 12
#22
Joe
A former boss used to put the Summer Breeze AND Strawberry AND Pine AND Coconut AND Bay Leaf scented candles in the rest room! The fumes coming out of there would have given SUPERMAN a headache!
p.s. The paper towel dispenser caught fire one day.
Sep 30, 2011 at 7:48 am rating: 31
#23
Marina
I especially like how she was diligent about using the (R) after Staples. Very responsible. HA!
Sep 30, 2011 at 8:05 am rating: 2
#24
littlething
“I still haven’t figured out the identities of all these people who are lamenting the absence of the Summer Breeze.”
Allow me to solve that mystery for you: It’s your boss. Just her.
Sep 30, 2011 at 9:01 am rating: 18
#25
Terry
Bitch, sounds like you’re lucky to even have a job. Just remember, that summer breeze shit is completely replaceable. So are you. Put the stupid air freshener back and be glad you all you have to do for your job is sit at a fucking desk.
Sep 30, 2011 at 9:15 am rating: 5
#26
divaandwriter
Who is “It Seems as Though” who prefers Summer Breeze air freshener? Is that some kind of 1960s hippie name?
Sep 30, 2011 at 9:21 am rating: 3
#27
Jami
Why would you steal an air freshener? It doesn’t cause cancer and I’d rather have the migraine of summer breeze than the vomit inducing smell of feces.
Though I do wish my coworkers would stop buying the “Fresh Linen” scent. I prefer the ones that neutralize odors rather than cover them up then leave a nice, light floral scent behind.
Sep 30, 2011 at 10:58 am rating: 2
#28
QBALL
A truly masculine scent will always be an odoriferous interlude featuring a Beef and Bean Burrito delicately scented with Broccoli, with a slight aftertaste of Cheeto’s and beer, harmoniously intertwined with the scent of sour cream and onion dip and pork rinds
Sep 30, 2011 at 11:19 am rating: 14
#29
Matilda
I have never in all my many years of working, lamented to my boss about the “air freshener” in the loo.
But I did hide the “apples & cinammon” ones my former boss with a bowel problem stuck all over our tiny office in a vain attempt to cover up his horrible, horrible diarrhea.
Sep 30, 2011 at 12:17 pm rating: 4
#30
redheadwglasses
We have a small bathroom near my work area, and my boss will stink it up in there and then make it worse by spraying horrendous amounts of air freshener. I finally put a sticky label on the spray can and wrote “please use sparingly.” She asked who put the label on there.
“I did. If I can smell it from my desk, you’ve used too much.”
She still uses it.
Having work with MANY women over the years… no one stinks up a bathroom like 50+yo overweight women. Their diets suck.
Sep 30, 2011 at 12:58 pm rating: 13
#31
susieq
as someone who gets migraines from strong floral/perfumey scents, i can completely understand where submitter is coming from. i would throw that crap away every time it shows up in the bathroom. she can actually go to HR about the smell and force the manager to never put those kinds of scents in there ever again.
Sep 30, 2011 at 1:11 pm rating: 6
#32
RP
Some odor neutralizers work pretty well. They can also get those things that auto-spray an air freshener so that there’s only a small spray every 36 minutes instead of 1/4 of a can every time someone uses the bathroom.
Sep 30, 2011 at 1:48 pm rating: 4
#33
Amy in Toronto
@ redheadwglasses
Way to generalize and stigmatize. You can’t possibly know a person’s state of health just by looking at them, gauging their weight, or by the stink that comes from the bathroom.
My 5 month old nephew has a diet of strictly breast-milk and his poop stinks like a grown man. Most meat-eating people generally have poop that stinks more than our vegetarian or vegan friends. I don’t know which category you fall into, but I’m pretty sure that whatever comes out of your ass doesn’t smell like strawberries and cake.
Don’t try to mask your hateful ageism and sizeism by claiming a health-based argument.
Personally speaking, chemical-based air fresheners scare me because of their potential to do neurological damage. If I know I’m gonna be taking a dump in a public restroom, particularly at the office, then I’m all for “pity flushing” to help remove the offending stink before it has time to settle in the bowl.
Sep 30, 2011 at 3:39 pm rating: 19
#34
skinnyyoungthang
geez, you must be, like, 80 years old and 400 pounds if your stink is so bad it can infiltrate the porcelain !
p.s. i’m kidding.. please don’t hurt me!
Sep 30, 2011 at 6:01 pm rating: 0
#35
Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff
Team Nobody. Although if forced to pick a side I’d go with Team Air Freshener Replacer because he/she put a smiley face on their reply.
Oct 1, 2011 at 4:06 am rating: 3
#36
Nunavut Guy
You city people are just plain fucked up.Issues over an air freshener?
Pathetic.
Oct 1, 2011 at 7:51 am rating: 5
#37
Charlie
I would think any air freshener sold under the Staples brand would be pretty rank. On the other hand, the submitter, whose desk is just outside the restroom, should be glad the restroom patrons are at least using something.
Oct 2, 2011 at 1:44 pm rating: 1
#38
TheOnlySanePersonInTheWorld
@ Canthz B: It’s not necessarily that either odor is more acceptable, they’re both unpleasant. As someone who suffers from this problem myself, I’ve been in situations like this where, it’s not really as cut-and-dry as everyone likes to think. For some people its worse than others, depending on varying health factors, like asthma, or breathing problems in general, as well as chemical sensitivities. I’m one of those people that can’t even walk down the air freshener aisle at WalMart without feeling like I’m about to pass out. And not only that, in 2004 a study was done actually VERIFYING that most of the air fresheners on the market at this time contain what at least 14 countries deem to be “unsafe” amounts of pthalates which can cause negative effects in both male, and female reproductive systems. Just read the extra credit link provided by PAN. And imho, I’d rather smell someones fart for 30 seconds than have to feel like I’m slowly choking and dying until the 6lbs of air freshener wafting out of the bathroom dissipates. All in all, it really comes down to personal preferences unfortunately. The point that I’m trying to make, however; is that I appreciate the fact that my previous workplace made an effort to keep this problem in check, and I was literally THE ONLY ONE who had an issue with it out of almost 200 employees. Take that, Terry. lol. I find certain fresheners less offensive than others, but they’re all pretty terrible. I mean, c’mon. Do YOU even like the way they smell? Or do you just like it better than somebody’s smelly feet/a**. More importantly, the total lack of WINDOWS in any of these situations leaves way too much to be desired. That would solve the whole issue in its self.
ps. Exhaust fans are fairly inexpensive, last time I checked at work you could buy one for less than 100$ CAN. Installation is beyond easy if you know what you’re looking at. Problem solved.
Oct 3, 2011 at 12:28 pm rating: 4
#39
Clarence
Or using too much cologne:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/massive-tag-body-spray-slick-spreading-from-jersey,2048/
Oct 4, 2011 at 5:19 am rating: 0
#40
Earp
Hey I don’t blame him, after all– Summer breeze makes me feel fine blowin’ with the jasmine in my mind
Oct 6, 2011 at 4:36 pm rating: 0
#41
Gary
At times this was a very funny thread, at others VERY disgusting.
Oct 6, 2011 at 5:15 pm rating: 0
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