Option a) “Hey, Iva, could you buy some TP? We’re out.”

Option b) Several weeks of seething funneled into eight six colored markers’ worth of heart exclamation point smiley THREAT heart heart.

And the winner is…

Gee, Bell, that IS funny, cuz you really threw me off with that “I hope you had a nice day!! <3 ” shit. (I’M ACTUALLY KIDDING. I WILL CUT YOU.)

related: One sure sign your roommate situation isn’t working out?

“One of our local parks has a busy tea shop that’s popular with walkers, cyclists, families and people exercising their dogs,” says Clive in Brighton. “I don’t blame them for getting fed up with demanding dog owners, and I suppose a note is one way to communicate, but in rhyme? And, worse, rhyme this bad?”

related: A polite notice to the owner of this marvelous vehicle

While on vacation in New York City, Christine came across this sad little sign in the window of an indie cafe in the East Village.

Luckily for the shop’s current/future proprietors, this year’s G20 summit is in France. So don’t worry, passively-anti-corporate New Yorkers: soon you’ll almost certainly be free to fret over your Frappuccinos without fear of finding shards of broken glass in your whipped cream.

related: Remember that the cheese loved you more than you loved it!

related: Raging against the little guy

David spotted this oh-so-charming scene while cycling through the well-to-do area of Hampstead, London.

Adds David: “The completely knackered fence is in front of an overgrown plot and right next door to a well looked-after house (possibly owned by old folk who are convinced the neighbourhood has gone to ruin.”)

Meanwhile, Alison was a bit perplexed by this note (and the seemingly undisturbed hedge below) in West Hampstead. “I stared at the hedge for ages trying to work out what was wrong with it,” she says. “Finally I just took a picture and ran away.”

related: An eye for an eye, an eyesore for an eyesore

extra credit: An American’s Guide to Britishisms [effingpot.com]

When Shelby‘s third-grade son was having trouble with his homework assignment (two paragraphs of creative writing a day), her suggestion was to just write about what came to mind first. As she realized later when she found the page in a stack of old school work: “He did not hold back.”

related: “Drunk Mommy”

extra credit: “Don’t Write What You Know” [theAtlantic.com]

“My kids take swim lessons at Tyler Junior College, and we have to go through the women’s locker room to access the pool,” writes Jennifer in Texas. “Something tells me that some of the ladies here in the Bible Belt don’t appreciate seeing their fellow females displaying the full glory of God’s creation, if you get my drift.”

And a shot of the whole scene…

related: “Do Not Leave Bathing Suit in the House” (and other pool rules)

extra credit: The horrors of locker-room nudity [Salon.com]

While on her first trip to Bergen, Norway, Den from London was strolling a residential side street when she came across across this note taped to a large window where, just inside, several cats were dozing the day away.

The cutesy clip art is a nice touch, Den says, but she was particularly tickled by the idea of this person rounding up cat-lovers from across the Internet to bark manically at THE PATHETIC MAN WHO DO NOT EVEN HAVE BALLS the next time he strolls by with his dog.

related: My cat-shit crazy neighbor

You might think that the writer of nearly a dozen couplets on toilet etiquette would include at least one variation on the sprinkle/tinkle theme, but apparently the poet at work in this Nassau County government building doesn’t go for in that sort of cliché.

But wouldn’t you know it? As Nicole from New York City reports, “The toilet seat in question was covered in ‘sprinkle‘ and absolutely disgusting.”

related: Toilet Paper Poetry Slam