Entries from October 2011
Writes Heather in Kentucky: “I keep a basket of candy on my desk, but after having my candy basket completely cleaned out during the night shift on several occasions, I started locking it in my boss’s office overnight.”
A few mornings later, she arrived at her desk to find this oh-so-thoughtful note from one sugar-deprived night-shift worker.
related: This is a candy-optional office
Tags: "helpful" advice · candy · Kentucky · office · your/you're
Halloween: smashing children’s dreams, one pumpkin at a time. (Sigh)
(Spotted by Toby in the U.K.)
related: Another four-year-old gets wise to the cruel, cruel world we live in
Tags: CAPS LOCK · guilt trip · Halloween · U.K. · vandalism · Won't somebody think of the children?
Ashley in Ohio has no complaints about the English skills of her Japanese pen pal, but this “thank you” card left her feeling like something must have gotten lost in translation. “Although I’ve been sending her e-mails and cards for every tiny holiday, this apparently hasn’t been enough to satisfy her,” Ashley says. (Ouch.)
related: Please don’t sit with me ever again.
Tags: Clearly a non-native English speaker · painfully polite · thanks (but not really) · way harsh
Sometimes it takes a village to raise an obese cat.
Sam spotted this somewhat presumptuous notice while house-hunting in South London. “We looked everywhere for the monster cat,” he says, to no avail. (Perhaps if you’d tried slipping a few opened tins of tuna fish in your pockets?)
related: To whom that wanted to be a superhero and take my cat to the pound
Tags: cats · food · neighbors
Dave‘s eight-year-old daughter is a huge of the Beatles…and at this moment, a not-so-huge fan of her father.
Dave, perhaps in a few years she’ll appreciate that, if nothing else, at least you spared her the unibrow gene?
related: Abbey Road idiots
Tags: Father-daughter notes · kids · most popular notes of 2011 · New York
Apparently the “this will damage elevator” meme is the most exciting thing to happen around this Cincinnati cubicle farm in a long time.
(According to our submitter, the photos below represent only a fraction of the variations that have popped up all over the office.)
related: Death by a Thousand Puns
Tags: CAPS LOCK · Cincinnati · elevator · exclamation-point happy!!!! · office · smartass
Writes our submitter: “Last year Zaky changed the date of his birthday on Facebook just to test if anyone actually knew his real birthday. Nobody did, probably because he pulls crappy mind games like this. He did it again this year and it still didn’t work.”
I think Melissa (below) probably said it best: “Whatever, Zaky, as if anyone actually cares when your birthday is?”
related: It’s my pity party and I’ll whine if I want to
Tags: Australia · birthday · Facebook
Writes Daniel in Oakland: “I love the tension between the ‘student of the month’ sticker on top and the totally passive-aggressive ‘every child is honored’ sticker below it.”
related: The car you drive can say a lot about you as a person.
Tags: car · Moms & Dads · Oakland · schools & teachers
At least with this job, you know exactly what kind of misery you’re signing up for if you decide to “enquire within.” (If only all bosses let their true characters shine through so obviously at this stage of the game.)
related: My sadistic dungeon-master won’t let me call in sick
Tags: Canada · casual sexism · crazy boss · help wanted · now that's management
At the local art exhibit of the Utah State Fair: a smug reminder of what we already know, thankyouverymuch. As our submitter wrote, “We’re not animals, after all!”
related: Signed, R. Mutt
Tags: art · Salt Lake City · touching