Don’t be an ash-hole! Love, Mom

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October 3rd, 2011 · 155 comments

“My friends’ mom has four cigarette-smoking daughters under one roof,” says our submitter in Cleveland. “She had to reach her breaking point eventually.”

related: Love, the Landlord

FILED UNDER: Cleveland · heart · Mother-daughter notes · signed with love · smoking · unnecessary "quotation marks"

155 responses so far ↓

#1 Quite Contrary

Too many hearts. Even from Mom.

Oct 3, 2011 at 6:26 pm rating: 90

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#2 Ana

that’s just creepy. if my mom wrote that i would be sooooo afraid

Oct 3, 2011 at 6:32 pm rating: 90

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#3 BandanaMama

Team Mom. If you’re gonna smoke in Mom’s house, at least be considerate enough to use the ash tray!!

Oct 3, 2011 at 6:45 pm rating: 90

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- #3.1 The Elf
  
  That’s what I don’t get. I’m not a smoker, so maybe I’m missing some mystery here, but wouldn’t it be the default to use an ash tray when smoking in the house? For fire safety, if no other reason!
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 6:56 am rating: 90
- #3.2 bookworm
  
  Mom may be asking them to be more careful when using the ashtray, since the ash won’t always land in its “designated spot” even when you try.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 4:52 pm rating: 90
- #3.3 Susan
  
  I’m with ya!
  
  Oct 5, 2011 at 8:05 pm rating: 90
- #3.4 turnedoffTVgrey
  
  Yes obviously if you’re smoking in the house, you’re going to use an ashtray, but I think she’s talking about some kind of porch or sundeck or something like that that the girls might not be so worried about getting ash on, but would still be tiresome to clean all the time. Also, depending on the brand of cigarette, sometimes the ash will fall off unexpectedly, making it hard not to get a little ash on the floor even if you’re trying to be good and use an ashtray. In that case, tit would be nice for them to sweep the floor after they smoke.
  
  Oct 9, 2011 at 7:24 am rating: 90
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#4 Erk

Look what has happened to adult’s handwriting in the span of just a few decades.

Oct 3, 2011 at 6:47 pm rating: 90

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- #4.1 dz
  
  * adults’
  
  Oct 3, 2011 at 7:51 pm rating: 90
- #4.2 M. A.
  
  Yeah, but check out your grandmother’s word processing skills…
  
  Oct 3, 2011 at 7:56 pm rating: 90
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#5 Adriana

My passive-aggressive father used to drop ashes on the floor and burn holes in the couch and blankets when he was angry. My parents are no longer married. These teenagers would be well advised to heed mom’s warnings.

Oct 3, 2011 at 7:02 pm rating: 90

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#6 flawedlogic

yuck, people still smoke in the house?

Oct 3, 2011 at 7:15 pm rating: 90

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#7 SeeYouInTea

Jesus Christ, four smokers in one house? I’d die in that house. Forget complaining about ash, I’d try to get them to quit.

Oct 3, 2011 at 7:15 pm rating: 90

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- #7.1 Smart a
  
  I smoke and I couldn’t stand it. Who still smokes in the house? These four, I guess.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 7:57 am rating: 90
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#8 babyka

How passive ash-gressive.

Oct 3, 2011 at 7:17 pm rating: 90

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#9 Sabine

. . . as Momma lights her 63rd Marlboro of the day.

Oct 3, 2011 at 7:18 pm rating: 90

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- #9.1 Jimmy James
  
  Mom just dips snuff, like any refined lady.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 9:29 am rating: 90
- #9.2 tessa
  
  …No. mom is in the back yard smoking a joint!
  
  Oct 7, 2011 at 6:22 am rating: 90
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#10 FunChefChick

Epic. Mom. Fail.

She raised 4 daughters who:
a) still live at home when they are old enough to smoke
b) SMOKE
c) are not considerate enough to NOT smoke in the house?

Boundaries, people. Boundaries! Also, GROSS.

/rant
/lungcancerintheirfuture

Oct 3, 2011 at 7:46 pm rating: 90

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- #10.1 Jenn
  
  They could just be living there to help each other with bills. They could be in college/grad school. They could be from a culture where girls tend to stay at home until they’re married or something similar.
  
  That being said, yeah, if one of them (including mom) doesn’t get lung cancer within the next ten years I’ll be shocked.
  
  Oct 3, 2011 at 8:01 pm rating: 90
- #10.2 FunChefChick
  
  I’ll grant you the living together to save on bills; lots of families are doing it in this tough economy. Absolutely nothing wrong with it.
  
  That being said: 4/4 adult children still at home? That seems . .. excessive.
  
  4/4 adult children smoking? In this day and age? Maybe if they all quit spending that money on smokes they could afford to move out!
  
  Also, in case I failed to mention it: GROSS. I cannot imagine the air quality in that house. Or the stench on the furniture, carpets, the dog, etc. One smoker is bad; FOUR?! Bleh. Ptooey.
  
  /JudgyMcJudgerson
  /FineWithItThough
  
  Oct 3, 2011 at 8:15 pm rating: 90
- #10.3 Grant
  
  If they are there to help out, they’d be sweeping the floors not leaving mother to do it. Ass holes.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 4:25 am rating: 90
- #10.4 cough
  
  @funchefchick:
  
  You don’t sound like much fun. You sound rather judgmental, in fact. What do you care if they smoke in their own house? And how do you even know that the daughters are all adults?
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 9:12 am rating: 90
- #10.5 Canthz_B
  
  I’m sorry, but did it say anywhere that mom herself does not also smoke?
  Everyone seems to think mom is a put-upon non-smoker for some odd reason.
  
  Strange.
  
  There’s no anti-smoking sentiment expressed there. Just a “Don’t be a slob about it” message.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 9:22 am rating: 90
- #10.6 Canthz_B
  
  Actually, Jenn, there’s no need to be shocked if none of them get lung cancer in the next ten years. Though smoking is a proven cause of lung cancer, as cancers go lung cancer is pretty rare.
  
  They’re more likely to get skin cancer first…or any number of other types of cancer that non-smokers seem to think will not affect them. Like stomach, pancreatic or colon cancer…you get those from what you eat…and we all eat.
  
  Of course, breast cancer is linked to genetics, so there’s not very much not smoking can do for you if you carry defective genes unless you can live without genes.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 9:31 am rating: 90
- #10.7 North
  
  Actually only about 5 to 10 % of people with breast cancer have the genetic marker. That’s a dangerous misconception.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 10:40 am rating: 90
- #10.8 Terry
  
  @FunChefChick
  
  /OMG
  /StopWithTheStupidFuckingTags
  /YouAreNeitherFunny
  /NorFun
  /IfIHadToSpendTimeWithYouI’dPrayForLungCancer
  /And
  /IfYourMotherDidSuchAGreatJob
  /WhyAreYouSuchAnInsufferableTwit?
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 10:51 am rating: 90
- #10.9 Canthz_B
  
  North, I didn’t say all…I said linked. Smoking is linked to lung cancer also, care to provide a statistic as to what percentage of smokers get lung cancer?
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 10:53 am rating: 90
- #10.10 GhostWriter
  
  Smoking Risk Tool Link:
  example calculation: A 50 year old women who smoked two packs a day for the past 35 years has a 4% chance of developing lung cancer in the next 10 years.
  
  Of course, lung cancer isn’t the only cancer that smoking causes, and cancer isn’t the biggest health risk from smoking, anyway.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 11:40 am rating: 90
- #10.11 Canthz_B
  
  True. Nor is smoking the only thing that causes lung cancer. I will admit that I don’t know of any cancer other than that of the lungs which second-hand smoke has been linked to, but it’s not something I’ve studied in any case, and Jenn specified lung cancer so that’s what I addressed…not emphysema, COPD, mouth cancers, etc.
  
  Are there still two pack a day smokers? I suppose so, but I don’t know how they find the time unless they don’t work or are self-employed in some capacity.
  
  Either way, we should be surprised 96% of the time then. And, it’s a lower percentage than quoted above for breast cancer patients who also have the genetic marker. LOL
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 9:00 pm rating: 90
- #10.12 Canthz_B
  
  So let me get this straight.
  
  If a 50 year old woman has smoked 511,000 cigarettes over the past 35 years (and will smoke 146,000 over the next 10 years) she has a 4% (Greater chance? Greater than what chance? Or just 4% of those smokers? Not sure.) of contracting lung cancer and folks are worried about simply smelling smoke on occasion?
  And I didn’t even consider the extra 2 packs (40 cigarettes) every 4th year to take into account leap years! That’s what?…11 leap years over the course of 45 years? That’s an additional 440 cigarettes.
  We can be reasonably sure they were asked how many pack they went through in a day, but did they ask how deeply they inhaled? How often they took a drag on their average cigarette (which goes to how much they smoked rather than how many cigarettes they burned per day)? How many cigarettes they gave away to others? How many cigarettes they really only smoked half of and tossed away? How often they smoked “borrowed” cigarettes?
  You see, it’s a very dicey thing to try to determine just how much smoking the average smoker actually smokes by simply asking how many packs a day they go through.
  
  Can you even imagine how many groups of smokers you’d have to walk past to equal inhaling 657,440 cigarettes worth of smoke! LOL
  
  Hell, by the time you did that, and got yourself to a 96% chance of not getting lung cancer, you’d probably have died of old age!! ROTFL.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 10:20 pm rating: 90
- #10.13 Canthz_B
  
  An analysis of the stats shows that it’s either a misunderstanding of what the stats mean leading to an irrational fear, or just plain old not liking the smoking habit at work here.
  
  Either one is OK by me, but please don’t mix the two.
  
  If the risk of lung cancer were one in a million and smoking increased that risk by 100% (which it doesn’t) the risk would be 2 in a million.
  
  Not bad odds at all…of course, many of us are aware that there are lies, damned lies and statistics, and I don’t know the sample sizes of most of these studies, so I cannot really make any sound conclusions from them…and neither should anyone else who doesn’t have enough information to draw a conclusion. Statistics are as slippery as greased pigs, that to me is the most important thing to take away from this.
  
  Oct 5, 2011 at 12:30 am rating: 90
- #10.14 Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff
  
  I thought kids could drive cars from the age of 16 in the USA with a permit(?) So the most we can really say for sure is that at least one of these daughters is over 16 and has a car. How have you drawn the conclusion that they’re adults?
  
  This may shock you, FunChefChick (if that even IS your real name), but teenagers sometimes do things they’re not technically allowed to do. I know! Awful, right!? I’ve even heard rumours that some teenagers drink alcohol and have sex! Sometimes parents even grudgingly accept that their teenagers do these things because they’ve realised (rightly) that there’s nothing they can do to stop them.
  
  Oct 6, 2011 at 5:30 am rating: 90
- #10.15 Canthz_B
  
  Re: Driving at age 16 in the USA
  
  It depends upon the State. Driving age is State law, not Federal.
  
  Here are Ohio’s rules… http://bmv.ohio.gov/graduated_dl_teen_laws.stm
  
  Oct 7, 2011 at 3:21 am rating: 90
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#11 dejahthoris

Yeah smiley face heart I would never let my kids smiley face heart xoxoxo smoke in my house. They can move out and do that xoxxox

Oct 3, 2011 at 7:47 pm rating: 90

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- #11.1 Chesire Cat
  
  I can’t thumbs up this statement hard enough. I can’t control my kids when they are older about whether or not they smoke, but if they smoke they are certainly not doing it in my house or with my money.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 6:44 am rating: 90
- #11.2 The Elf
  
  Exactly. My house is a no-smoking house, and I don’t care who you are and why you are smoking. Go outside. It’s my house and the foot is down on that subject.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 6:57 am rating: 90
- #11.3 Chesire Cat
  
  Yep and I detest the smell of smoke if it is overpowering so if they come into my house reeking of it, they are going to be kicked out or in trouble. I don’t want to have to do their laundry and smell it or have it stinking up my house. I really don’t want them smoking so basically I cannot stop them from smoking but I can make it so difficult for them if they do smoke that they will probably just figure it is easier not to smoke in the first place or quit.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 3:54 pm rating: 90
- #11.4 The Elf
  
  A few of my friends and relatives smoke, and I’ve never noticed the smoke-smell from them linger in my house after they leave, even when they spend multiple days here. They smoke outside, at my request, and that’s the end of it.
  
  Making things unnecessarily difficult for them so that they’ll quit is a little passive aggressive!
  
  Oct 5, 2011 at 7:13 am rating: 90
- #11.5 Chesire Cat
  
  I don’t know man. Whenever I came back from my friends house who smoke like chimneys my clothes would REEK! I had to wash them the minute I got home or they would stink everything up!
  
  Oct 5, 2011 at 3:12 pm rating: 90
- #11.6 The Elf
  
  Maybe your nose is just more sensitive than mine.
  
  After nights out at metal concerts, where cigarette smoke (plus pot smoke) is common and spilled beer is inevitable, my clothes reek. But then I just toss them in the dirty clothes hamper until I recover enough to do laundry and only the hamper stinks. When my smoker friends come over, I notice that their clothes have that smoke smell, but my entire house doesn’t reek because of it. Chain-smoking father-in-law stayed over for 3 nights, and I had no problem with the house or furniture smelling because of his smoking.
  
  I think you’re being overly harsh, and the “subtle” push to your smokers comes off as passive-aggressive.
  
  Oct 7, 2011 at 7:26 am rating: 90
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#12 Nick

I guess Mom won’t be getting cremated.

Oct 3, 2011 at 8:00 pm rating: 90

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#13 Ashley

I’ve been called “Ash-Hole” (and other similar names that play on the word) since I was in Junior High and I’ve never smoked anything in my life!

Oct 3, 2011 at 8:04 pm rating: 90

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- #13.1 Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff
  
  It’s a real conundrum.
  
  Oct 6, 2011 at 5:32 am rating: 90
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#14 Big Sexy

Good for mom. House is a cancer factory.

Oct 3, 2011 at 8:17 pm rating: 90

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- #14.1 Jessi
  
  But, I love House!
  
  Oct 5, 2011 at 1:54 am rating: 90
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#15 RR

0% effective…MESSAGE =EPIC FAIL
1) Pink marker
2) Hi All!
3) J/K
4) hearts

Oct 3, 2011 at 8:35 pm rating: 90

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- #15.1 The Elf
  
  That’s what makes it so beautifully passive-aggressive.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 6:58 am rating: 90
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#16 x-smoker

Wait! People still smoke?!
And these “smokers” smoke in their own houses? Don’t tell me they smoke in their cars too?!

Oct 3, 2011 at 8:51 pm rating: 90

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#17 JLP

I can’t believe all of this blatant discrimination. Smoking is a personal choice, and it may be a vice but everybody has them. I don’t go to McDonald’s and call everybody fat disgusting gluttons. So please stop calling us down like we’re pieces of Sh*t and maybe focus on your own imperfections

Oct 3, 2011 at 9:17 pm rating: 90

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- #17.1 JetJackson
  
  My vice is discrimination. I discriminate against smokers because despite it being a ‘personal choice’ it also has external effects on people not making the choice to smoke – including health problems caused by second hand smoking and an increased burden on the health system resulting in higher taxes and health insurance premiums.
  
  Oct 3, 2011 at 9:48 pm rating: 90
- #17.2 nick
  
  oh snap!
  
  Oct 3, 2011 at 9:52 pm rating: 90
- #17.3 AW
  
  When involving smokers, I only have issues with people that: smoke too closely to others; smoke within 10 feet from an entrance to a building; don’t bother to cover up or mask their horrible smoke B.O. No discrimination here, I just don’t prefer to smell or inhale the disgusting stuff.
  
  Oct 3, 2011 at 9:52 pm rating: 90
- #17.4 havingfitz
  
  Let’s see…Mom doesn’t mind them smoking in the house. She does mind them not being adult enough to clean up after themselves. That’s not discrimination: that’s saying “I respect that you are an adult and I respect your right to smoke. Please respect my home and use an ashtray.” Contrary to popular belief, it is not ‘discrimination’ when someone asks you grow the hell up.
  
  Oct 3, 2011 at 10:26 pm rating: 90
- #17.5 Audrey
  
  Sorry to say it, but I am going to hate any smoker near me. I have to carry an epipen because of that smoke. Your choice does affect others, and I can happily say that I was one of the one of the voters that banned indoor smoking in CO.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 12:24 am rating: 90
- #17.6 kermit
  
  @ Jet -
  
  [smoking] has external effects on people not making the choice to smoke – including health problems caused by second hand smoking and an increased burden on the health system resulting in higher taxes and health insurance premiums
  
  The same could be said of fat people because everyone’s health insurance premiums go up, not just those of of fat people. And I’m pretty sure that nobody enjoys being forced to effectively give up half (or more) of their seat if the person next to them happens to be fat.
  
  People know the health risks involved with smoking and over-eating crap food. And they also have a right to make choices. I’m not trying to defend/promote smoking (or obesity) here, but come on. People make choices that affect others every day.
  
  @ JPL – Sorry, it’s not discrimination to ask that someone use an ash tray in your house. Just like it’s not discrimination if they ask you not to fart or belch at the dinner table. It’s simply being courteous and considerate of the other people living in the house. If they don’t like it, I’m sure “mom” wouldn’t object to them moving out.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 3:12 am rating: 90
- #17.7 Chesire Cat
  
  You can eat at Mcdonalds and not be fat first of all.
  
  Secondly, smokers get a bad rap because most of them are ash-holes about it in general. So you need to recognize that fact and then understand that even if you are a considerate smoker that because so many are not, smokers have a bad rap. They throw butts out the window and litter. They smell badly. They stand right outside of the door so you have to walk through a cloud of smoke just to get into a building. They whine about not being allowed to smoke in other’s homes. They whine pretty much anytime they are told they can’t smoke in a restaurant, bar, club, store, hotel room, etc.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 6:47 am rating: 90
- #17.8 Chesire Cat
  
  Oh yeah not to mention the many smokers who are parents and happily smoke around their children in their home or car or while pregnant. They happily poison their children’s lungs. Yet we are not allowed to be disgusted when we see that?
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 6:49 am rating: 90
- #17.9 The Elf
  
  That argument fails when you realize that the location where they are smoking is a private residence. The owner of the property (presumably Mom) has a right to set up whatever rules she wants, “discriminatory” or not.
  
  As far as rules go, “use an ashtray” is a pretty simple and easy one.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 7:01 am rating: 90
- #17.10 kermit
  
  Chesire Cat, you can be disgusted by whatever you want, but I don’t see any rational basis for you vilifying people who smoke more than fat people. If you think it’s disgusting that people smoke around their children I don’t see how it’s NOT equally disgusting that people take their kids to fast food places.
  
  The regulars at McDonald’s are fat people, period. (And I’m not just basing that on 2 years worth’ of night shifts). Some fat people are assholes and smell bad just as some smokers are assholes and smell bad. And just like some non-smoking “normal” sized people are assholes and smell bad.
  
  And by the way, I don’t smoke and have never smoked in my entire life. I do think it’s ridiculous to ascribe a unique set of asshole characteristics to smokers alone. Some people are just assholes, period. A subset of these people smoke.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 7:15 am rating: 90
- #17.11 Canthz_B
  
  Disgusted? No. Disappointed? Yes. Some people are stupid and do stupid things, but that doesn’t necessarily make those things disgusting.
  
  As far as lungs being poisoned, you don’t need cigarettes to do that…just inhale. The air of the planet is full of pollutants…or does your car have no exhaust pipe, your home no chimney, your electrical grid no power stations?
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 8:05 am rating: 90
- #17.12 Canthz_B
  
  No, CC, most smokers are not assholes about it in general. You will rarely see a smoker smoking in a non-smoking area. Non smokers are far more likely to be assholes when near a smoker in a smoking allowed area and a smoker lights up.
  
  I really wish you would not overgeneralize, CC, because I smoke. I don’t whine about where I can and cannot smoke. I do not stand right in front of doorways forcing others to partake in my chosen vice, and when I book a hotel room I book a smoking room or go outside and smoke. It’s really no skin off my nose to be polite.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 8:11 am rating: 90
- #17.13 zomboid
  
  i think JLP was referring to all the people clutching their pearls in horror at the mention of smoking, not to the mom’s note…
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 8:12 am rating: 90
- #17.14 jetjackson
  
  @Kermit.
  
  Firstly, I don’t think you can passive eat and get fat because the person next to you is eating fast food.
  
  Secondly, smoking is non an act that is required to sustain life. Eating on the other hand is required to sustain life and fast food, albeit compounding the obesity issue still provides calories to burn. So it serves a purpose, certainly more of a purpose than smoking does.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 8:34 am rating: 90
- #17.15 jetjackson
  
  @Kermit.
  
  Firstly, I don’t think you can passive eat and get fat because the person next to you is eating fast food.
  
  Secondly, smoking is not an act that is required to sustain life. Eating on the other hand is required to sustain life and fast food, albeit compounding the obesity issue still provides calories to burn. So it serves a purpose, certainly more of a purpose than smoking does.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 8:35 am rating: 90
- #17.16 Canthz_B
  
  Yes, Jet, but as to increased taxes and health care costs, obesity is more expensive than smoking. Smoking doesn’t contribute very much last I read to Diabetes (a real long-term cost driver), but obesity does.
  Leading cause of death in the US is heart disease, and both smoking and obesity contribute to that, so if we’re arguing costs, bringing up obesity is a valid point…especially since there are far more morbidly obese people than there are smokers these days.
  
  Personally, I’d love to see the day they outlaw smoking. I’ll quit that day and watch everyone cry about their increased taxes as the States lose all of those lovely cigarette tax dollars. You know? The tax dollars that are supposed to pay for the increased cost of health care caused by smoking? Who’s taxing “fat food”?
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 8:42 am rating: 90
- #17.17 Canthz_B
  
  In fact, some years ago the State I lived in had a surplus of over $10,000,000 in cigarette tax money they’d levied to pay for increased health care costs due to smoking. Did they give that money to the hospitals? Lower the cigarette tax to more accurately reflect the health care costs of smoking? No…they gave that money to the State Parks.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 8:56 am rating: 90
- #17.18 divaandwriter
  
  Smoking might be a personal choice, but the person who just happens to be standing within wafting distance when someone decides to exercise that choice around other people gets nothing but whiffs of unwelcome stink and nicotine. That person’s only choice is to get up and move away or confront the smoker. Getting up and moving away is not always possible or convenient, and confrontations have the potential of turning ugly.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 9:55 am rating: 90
- #17.19 The Elf
  
  Ours did too. Cigarette tax money, said to be for offsetting health costs, went into the general fund.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 9:55 am rating: 90
- #17.20 K
  
  Yes Canthz, and between obesity and smoking, obesity definitely is more of a problem. Not to mention that smoking increases your metabolism and is used by some people to manage or lose weight. Obesity on the other hand contributes to hypertension, heart dz, T2DM, dyslipidemia, hypercholesterolemia – the whole metabolic syndrome.
  
  May I also add that smoking actually reduces the risk of certain cancers like breast ca, decreases peptic ulcer risk, helps protect against Parkinson’s (due to the nicotine), among others. Hmmm… wonder why so many med students have that habit, esp. around exam time?
  
  Yes we need food to sustain life, Jet, maybe we could make some healthier choices other than fast food maybe? Like boil some pasta in the same length of time you’d spend waiting in a food line. And don’t contribute to burdening others and the health-care system and wasted/inefficient productivity in the workplace, economy, etc.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 9:58 am rating: 90
- #17.21 Canthz_B
  
  Yes, the choice is either to get up and move if you smell a mere whiff of cigarette smoke, stay put, confront the smoker…but why should the smoker have to move if in an area where smoking is allowed just because YOU don’t like it? Get up and move to a non-smoking section and allow others their space.
  
  Rocket science…I know…but a “whiff of smoke” is not the definition of “second-hand smoke”.
  If merely smelling cigarette smoke could kill you, why the hell aren’t smokers who inhale dead within hours or seconds of directly inhaling cigarette smoke rather than getting COPD when they’re 65 or 70 years old?
  GOD! I’m tired of commercials showing old-ass motherfreaks in their 70′s and 80′s crying about how smoking gave them emphysema. You got your three score and ten, STFU.
  
  Grow up and stop living in fear of that which you obviously do not understand.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 10:04 am rating: 90
- #17.22 The Elf
  
  FWIW, I hate the smell of cigarette smoke. I think it is an awful habit, and ever since my grandmother had to have part of her tongue and all of her larynx removed from smoking-related cancer, I’ve truly abhored it. Seeing such a vibrant woman silenced was actually worse than her death a few months after that. (Age 68, in case you were wondering).
  
  But I’ve also never run into a situation where I couldn’t leave when someone lit up in a smoking approved area. Good example: my previous boss smoked. As we left the building to go to a meeting or something, he’d usually light up. This is perfectly legal. And I’d wrap up whatever conversation we were having and tell him I’d meet him there or see him tomorrow or whatever. Then I’d leave.
  
  Smoke if you want. Don’t smoke if you don’t want. I don’t care. Just don’t smoke in non-smoking places (i.e. inside office buildings) and don’t smoke in my house/car. And if you’re in this lady’s house/garage, use an ash tray. If you don’t like smoking, don’t hang around people who are smoking. It really is that simple.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 11:35 am rating: 90
- #17.23 redheadwglasses
  
  I’ve never smoked a cigarette in my life, although my parents smoked and so did my friends. And I have found that if someone is being an asshole about smoking, it’s far more likely to be a nonsmoker than a smoker. Smokers tend to go out of their ways to keep their cigarette out of the way of others, blow their smoke away from the group, etc. I’ve seen and heard a nonsmoker approach an area where there are smokers, then complain about the smokers. As in, do this just to have something to complain about.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 11:46 am rating: 90
- #17.24 Coprophiliac
  
  I can’t believe all of this blatant discrimination. Eating and rolling around in poop is a personal choice, and it may be a vice but everybody has them. I don’t go to McDonald’s and call everybody fat disgusting gluttons. So please stop calling us down like we’re pieces of Sh*t and maybe focus on your own imperfections.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 12:52 pm rating: 90
- #17.25 kermit
  
  @ Jet –
  
  Firstly, I don’t think you can passive eat and get fat because the person next to you is eating fast food.
  
  Actually, you can. There have been plenty of studies of childhood obesity that show a strong correlation between unhealthy eating habits of parents and unhealthy eating kids. Life-long eating habits and cooking skills are learned at home. If the parent don’t know how to cook and/or don’t teach them they inherit those habits.
  
  Smoking on the other hand, shows no such correlation because smoking is used to relieve stress. Ask any modern day kid whose parents smoke if they want to smoke. I highly doubt you’ll find any one of them eager to smoke after seeing the effects. Then ask any fat kid if they want to eat the same crap food their parents made them eat at home. I highly doubt you’ll find a kid that will criticize the crap food his parents made him eat.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 1:03 pm rating: 90
- #17.26 Assilem
  
  Not to mention the litter that affects us all.
  
  (affect? Effect?)
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 1:38 pm rating: 90
- #17.27 jetjackson
  
  Regardless, obesity is still a separate issue and you cannot negate my arguments on smoking re: passive smoking/cost to health system simply because they also apply to obesity.
  
  @ Kermit – fair point then, people can adopt eating habits. Still, if there is such thing as passive eating it doesn’t make passive smoking any less harmful.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 3:10 pm rating: 90
- #17.28 Maria
  
  Interesting article about Denmark taxing on saturated fats in an effort to make people healthier.
  
  http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/ezra-klein/post/will-a-fat-tax-make-denmark-healthier/2011/10/04/gIQA3D5nKL_blog.html
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 3:20 pm rating: 90
- #17.29 Chesire Cat
  
  Okay bull. I DO or DID know many smokers and they were all pissy about it in one way or another. Like my stepdad who threw his butts on a sand dune where endangered sea turtles lay their eggs at the beach house we rented. We rented a non smoking house because my son has asthma which he said he was okay with smoking outside and disposing of his butts properly. But when it came to the tiny extra bit of effort to throw the butt away properly, he just decided to litter.
  
  Or my friends who never wanted to visit us at our house because God forbid they have to step outside to light up since we don’t allow smoking in our home. Basically they chose smoking over friendships.
  
  Or the 100s of people I notice driving down the street throwing butts out every where I go. Or the pregnant women I see smoking. Or the parents with a cigarette in one hand and a baby in the other.
  
  Or the people I see smoking in no smoking areas.
  
  I admit that SOME smokers will follow the rules all the time. But so so SO many do not follow the rules ever or at least not all the time and therefore that is why smokers in general get a bad rap. You cannot sit there and honestly say that it is only the exceptional smoker that does the above. I would say from my experience it is the polite smoker that is the exception.
  
  and ps- I eat at Mcdonalds regularlyish and I am not fat. I am in my proper BMI and weight/height ratio. I go there for fries, mcflurries, and their breakfast sandwiches at least once to twice a week. My son eats the fries about once a week. He is also of a healthy weight. So I call bull on that.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 4:03 pm rating: 90
- #17.30 Chesire Cat
  
  Some more bull about kids not wanting to smoke when they see their parents smoke. Just about every smoker I know had parents who smoked and who pretty much allowed their children to smoke. My stepdad a lifetime smoker was given cigarettes at 14 by his mother whom was also a smoker. My best friend and her brother were also allowed to smoke in their home when they were in high school because their parents smoked and didn’t want to be hypocrites. Her father also liked bumming cigs from her.
  
  Plus there have been studies confirming that if the parent smokes the kids are more likely to smoke too. I think women who smoke while pregnant actually can have babies who get nicotine withdrawal once they are born.
  
  Kids do what they see. So if they grow up seeing their parents smoke, they are probably going to smoke too. Plus it is easier to obtain cigs before you are old enough to buy them if you can steal them from your parents.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 4:10 pm rating: 90
- #17.31 bookworm
  
  I regularly see smokers standing in groups under a giant “No Smoking” sign.
  
  That said, asking somebody to take responsibility for their personal choices while they are living under your roof is not discrimination.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 5:00 pm rating: 90
- #17.32 Canthz_B
  
  CC, just because your step-father is/was an asshole doesn’t mean all smokers are.
  
  As far as your “friends” not wanting to come to your home, well there could be reasons other than smoking rules to account for that.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 9:20 pm rating: 90
- #17.33 kermit
  
  CC – Again, quit it with the hypocrisy already. No wonder people don’t want to come over to your house.
  
  You are an exception to the “rule” that McDonald’s patrons are fat. Sorry, but there is overwhelming data – not just personal experience – that regular fast food patrons are fat and/0r obese and have shitty eating habits, period. If you want people to take your “exception” into account, you also have to take into account that some smokers are considerate people.
  
  And by the way, I don’t know where you live, but most of the smokers I see obey smoking laws and none of the smokers I know smoked when pregnant.
  
  In short, consider the possibility that it may just be regional/cultural thing. In certain places in Europe (like the French areas) smoking is still popular and socially acceptable to be done just about everywhere. So if you hate smoking, chances are you can’t impose your wishes for consideration on others. In other places, like the non-French/Quebec/Cajun parts of North America, smoking is not socially acceptable and smokers are extremely considerate.
  
  Oct 5, 2011 at 6:19 am rating: 90
- #17.34 Chesire Cat
  
  I live in the US South if that makes any difference/
  
  Oct 5, 2011 at 3:22 pm rating: 90
- #17.35 Chesire Cat
  
  I said multiple times by the way that I know they are very considerate smokers out there. I just don’t know too many of them personally. In my experience it is the exception rather than the rule for a smoker to be considerate. Could by the area I live in or maybe I just notice inconsiderate smokers more. So it is wrong to say that most smokers are inconsiderate when that is what I have seen firsthand, but not wrong to say most Mcdonald’s patrons are fat?
  
  Oct 5, 2011 at 3:24 pm rating: 90
- #17.36 pepperann
  
  You are soooo right. Everyone can point the finger at me, “filthy smoker, boo, hiss” but when I see the super obese person having just one more serving, it is against the law (you know, not the done thing) to point and say “surely that’s enough fatty”.
  
  Oct 5, 2011 at 9:41 pm rating: 90
- #17.37 Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff
  
  In the UK it is now illegal to smoke in an enclosed public space – and rightly so. Only 24% of adults in the UK smoke.
  
  Smokers are often keen to play the “freedom of choice” card. Since only 24% of adults smoke, and when we are talking about enclosed public spaces a conflict exists between the freedom of choice of smokers and the freedom of choice of non-smokers, it is right and proper that the larger group be favoured – since it is impossible to protect the freedom of both groups.
  
  If you smoke in an enclosed space, you force everyone around you to smoke too, whether they choose to or not.
  
  The issue of passive smoking is neither here nor there; if I’ve chosen not to smoke, you have no business forcing me to. Even if you could prove that smoking has health benefits and will make my penis twice as big, it’s still up to me whether I choose to smoke or not.
  
  However, that said; feel free to go outside, or smoke in your own home. I won’t judge you for that.
  
  Oct 6, 2011 at 5:39 am rating: 90
- #17.38 zomboid
  
  so…you’re pointing out how there’s a law preventing smokers from making you breathe their smoke, and then bitching about it anyway, even though it’s now impossible for anyone to make you do it…i see
  
  Oct 6, 2011 at 12:04 pm rating: 90
- #17.39 chesire cat
  
  LOL Pepperann: Not sure but last time I checked making fun of people was still legal. If you just do it once at least it would not be illegal. Maybe if you did it daily they could consider it harassment or if you do it at school it might be bullying. However, I have had random people make fun of me in public for various things and I didn’t know I could get them arrested. I doubt the cops would appreciate me calling them to complain about the woman who made fun of my outfit.
  
  Oct 6, 2011 at 11:12 pm rating: 90
- #17.40 Angeline
  
  chesire cat: “Some more bull about kids not wanting to smoke when they see their parents smoke. Just about every smoker I know had parents who smoked and who pretty much allowed their children to smoke. My stepdad a lifetime smoker was given cigarettes at 14 by his mother whom was also a smoker.”
  
  However did you escape the scourge? If it’s inevitable that smoking is contagious, shouldn’t we have pity upon its victims?
  
  Oct 7, 2011 at 1:43 am rating: 90
- #17.41 Canthz_B
  
  I think you’re looking at that correlation wrong. While many smokers have/had parents who smoke/smoked, many others smoke when their parents did not.
  That smoking behavior is influenced by the behavior of others (smoking) is about the only conclusion which should be drawn, because a statistically significant number of the children of smokers do not smoke.
  
  Furthermore, smoking is not the only human behavior influenced by the behavior of others. When the behavior is deemed right and good we call it socialization. When it’s deemed bad or harmful we call it peer pressure.
  
  Really, we could just call it Human Nature…one curse of being a social animal species. People tend to do that which other people do. This can be seen clearly by the fact that as fewer people smoke in a society, the act of smoking becomes more stigmatized. The higher the percentage of smokers in a society, the more acceptable smoking tends to be within said society, so if smoking is prevalent in a child’s community, that child has a greater likelihood of becoming a smoker whether or not her parents smoked.
  
  Now, to say that smokers are usually assholes is to say very little, because in my experience, people are usually assholes (like people who get a feeling of superiority because they do not smoke and are in the majority group, for example), and smokers are still people no matter what anyone says.
  
  Oct 7, 2011 at 3:45 am rating: 90
- #17.42 Chesire Cat
  
  Angeline: For me personally my stepfather did not live with us till I was 14. Which is the prime age for someone to start smoking. I didn’t like him much back then though so definitely no want to emulate him. I did try smoking and started it up around 16 for a couple months. I was a dancer. First time I could not catch my breath while dancing I said “Screw this smoking bull” and never smoked another one. I loved dance too much.
  
  Oct 7, 2011 at 9:29 pm rating: 90
add to this thread
#18 Ash-ley (j/k)

Team Mom, except for the epic loophole: what is she going to do to the one – who obviously exists – that doesn’t have a nice purse or car?

xoxo Ash-ley (j/k)

Oct 4, 2011 at 12:39 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #18.1 plainbeliedsneetch
  
  She’s gotta have a bed, doesn’t she? Clean socks would also be an option.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 1:46 am rating: 90
- #18.2 Chesire Cat
  
  or her shoes, or into her makeup bag, or on her clothes. Imagine the possibilities!
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 6:51 am rating: 90
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#19 NutellaIshMehName

This could be a song with all the strategically placed ♡’s, ash-threats, the ‘Don’t be an “Ash-Hole”!!’ and the ‘I ♡ U!’.

Oct 4, 2011 at 7:48 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
#20 Nack

Welcome to it, friend. It’s the Obama nation. Unless you’re sinning in the way the State allows/bails you out for, you’re not allowed. And by the way, you’re Evil.

The “dangers” of secondhand smoking haven’t yet been scientifically proven, and the “weight” of smokers on the healthcare system isn’t nearly as heavy as the drinkers. People like to say smokers are inconsiderate, (because they smell? Really?) but at least they don’t freaking drive and kill people! I think many here are an “ash-hole”, of the ignorant and judgmental kind.

Oct 4, 2011 at 9:30 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #20.1 Canthz_B
  
  OBAMA? Really? You know he’s been known to smoke, right?
  
  Surprising as it may be to some, Obama is not the source of all ills.
  
  If you’re upset about smoking rules, a better place to put your blame is on Henry Waxman or C. Everret Coop.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 9:42 am rating: 90
- #20.2 cough
  
  Oh lordy, here we go…
  This site won’t be much fun if people start with the political jabs…
  Thought Obama smoked anyway…
  But WHO CARES.
  
  I thought the note was funny. I do, however, wonder why she put “ash” in quotation marks…Did she intend to indicate a different meaning than the one usually associated with the word “ash”?
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 9:46 am rating: 90
- #20.3 Canthz_B
  
  ass
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 9:49 am rating: 90
- #20.4 cough
  
  Oops that reply was for Nack, not CB. I’m with CB on this one….
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 9:49 am rating: 90
- #20.5 cough
  
  so, she meant “if you ass on this floor”?
  
  hmmm….makes the note more interesting, indeed!
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 9:51 am rating: 90
- #20.6 Canthz_B
  
  LOL, Oops, I didn’t bother to go back up to the note! ROTFL
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 9:59 am rating: 90
- #20.7 cough
  
  and now I have a curious mental picture regarding what she meant by “ash tray”
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 10:04 am rating: 90
- #20.8 Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff
  
  Wait…smokers don’t drive?
  
  Oct 6, 2011 at 5:41 am rating: 90
add to this thread
#21 cough

A poll..

What is more annoying?
1. people who smoke in their own house

2. people who use the words “epic fail” to describe EVERY tiny little thing that falls short of their lofty ideals?

Oct 4, 2011 at 9:34 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #21.1 Susan
  
  People who use the term epic fail are way more annoying.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 9:33 pm rating: 90
- #21.2 Canthz_B
  
  Epic success.
  
  Oct 6, 2011 at 12:59 am rating: 90
- #21.3 bookworm
  
  The smokers. People who say “epic fail” won’t claim to be addicted to it.
  
  Oct 7, 2011 at 8:51 am rating: 90
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#22 The Elf

Oh, this is going to be one of THOSE threads.

Oct 4, 2011 at 9:57 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #22.1 Canthz_B
  
  GOD! I really hope so! LOL
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 10:14 am rating: 90
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#23 North

Unless Mom has a peg board in the house, it looks from the photo as if that sign is hanging in the garage.

Oct 4, 2011 at 10:44 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
#24 redheadwglasses

Four smoking daughters in the house? Either some teens are smoking, or mom needs to cut the cord already and kick a few kids out to live independently.

Oct 4, 2011 at 11:40 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
#25 ansco

My granny died from cancer, she lost both breast and it still spread. But she never smoked or chewed. Go figure

Oct 4, 2011 at 12:16 pm rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #25.1 TinyBallOfLight
  
  Sorry for your loss. I was not directing my comment at you, but rather at some of the earlier whiny comments. =)
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 1:43 pm rating: 90
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#26 TinyBallOfLight

I have to say it, the comments on PAN are not nearly as funny as the comments on YSAC. Sorry, but a lot of the commentators here seem really whiny. Where’s the snark?? PAN used to be so deliciously snarky!

Lighten up people, we are supposed to be making fun of passive-aggression in the NOTES posted, not proving how passive-aggressive WE ourselves can be in our commenting. Sheesh.

p.s. Not minimizing cancers of any kind, as I have lost loved ones to cancer. But, really we’re supposed to be concentrating on how silly, childish, and non-intimidating, yet bizarrely creepy mom’s note is.

Oct 4, 2011 at 1:42 pm rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #26.1 Susan
  
  I didn’t find the note to be any of those things. I thought it was rather adorable, and I’ll bet her daughters did, too.
  
  Oct 4, 2011 at 9:35 pm rating: 90
- #26.2 TinyBallOfLight
  
  *headdesk*
  
  Oct 5, 2011 at 1:48 am rating: 90
- #26.3 The Elf
  
  “Adorable” might be part of Mom’s problem here. People don’t take “cute” and “adorable” seriously. Now, if she had used black ink and not so many hearts, (or even had told them outright in no uncertain terms instead of leaving a kinda creepy note) maybe her daughters would start using a damn ash tray already.
  
  Oct 5, 2011 at 7:06 am rating: 90
- #26.4 Canthz_B
  
  For real. What kind of pyromaniacs did she raise in the first place who walk around flicking ashes indoors?
  
  Oct 5, 2011 at 7:53 am rating: 90
- #26.5 TinyBallOfLight
  
  The Elf — Exactly. I mean, what’s wrong with simply confronting her daughters and saying: “use a damn ashtray, I’m not your maid.”
  
  It’s straightforward, it’s confident and doesn’t send mixed signals. If I were to read the note literally, I wouldn’t feel very threatened, and would wonder if Mom’s “heart” was really in it. =)
  
  Oct 5, 2011 at 12:58 pm rating: 90
- #26.6 The Elf
  
  If all the Moms did that (and roommates, and co-workers, and neighbors), this would be a very boring site.
  
  Oct 5, 2011 at 2:04 pm rating: 90
- #26.7 TinyBallOfLight
  
  I totally agree. I’m glad there are passive aggressive notes in the world, but some are better than others.
  
  Oct 5, 2011 at 2:19 pm rating: 90
- #26.8 Susan
  
  So… you think a note from one family member to another to remind them to use ashtrays should be “intimidating” and “very threatening”? Huh. And here I was thinking she was just trying to be lighthearted and not a bitch about her really quite reasonable request. I’m sure she’s told her daughters about the ashtray before, and they just keep forgetting. Just like I kept forgetting to take my shoes off before walking on my mom’s new carpet. She’s got a note in the foyer, and now I don’t forget. Problem solved! Sometimes a note can do a better job of correcting an absent-minded habit like spilling ashes around, especially if it’s memorable (as this one is). I’m not a big fan of quotation marks, pink ink, and hearts myself, but seriously? I really don’t see a damn thing that’s either “creepy,” “childish,” or “passive aggressive” about this note. It’s silly, yes, but it’s obviously intentionally silly.
  
  Oct 5, 2011 at 8:04 pm rating: 90
- #26.9 Canthz_B
  
  TBOL, generally PAN is about making jokes about the notes. Around here we will, on occasion, express our opinions and engage in debates over issues inspired by the notes.
  
  I don’t know what they do over at YSAC, but that’s sort of how PAN works. For some reason, sometimes we like to think about things.
  
  It serves no purpose to compare the two…they are not the same site.
  
  Oct 6, 2011 at 1:27 am rating: 90
- #26.10 TinyBallOfLight
  
  Susan, so what you’re saying is that this note should have been featured on the “perfectly reasonable and justified but funny and cute notes” site, rather than “PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE notes” site? You know, because it’s NOT passive aggressive? Is that what you mean? Just checking… <3 <3 <3
  
  Oct 6, 2011 at 2:34 am rating: 90
- #26.11 park rose
  
  TBOL, why don’t you say that to her face? ♥
  
  Oct 6, 2011 at 7:20 am rating: 90
- #26.12 TinyBallOfLight
  
  Well, I am sort of wondering if Susan is the submitter — the friend of the 4 smokers. It sort of fits… =)
  
  Oct 6, 2011 at 1:32 pm rating: 90
- #26.13 Canthz_B
  
  TBOL, some suggested reading for you:
  
  http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/wtf/
  
  …It’s barbed criticism disguised as something else — helpful advice, a funny joke, simple forgetfulness. After all, as Dr. Scott Wetzler, a clinical psychologist and author of Living with the Passive-Aggressive man, observed: “A joke can be the most skillful passive-aggressive act there is.”
  
  You’re welcome.
  
  Oct 7, 2011 at 6:35 am rating: 90
- #26.14 bookworm
  
  “This website sucks! My other website it better! You guys complain too much! Whingewhingewhinge!”
  
  If you like the other website better, why are you wasting your time here complaining about how much we suck? Go to your “better” website and be done with it!
  
  Oct 7, 2011 at 8:51 am rating: 90
add to this thread
#27 GhostWriter

Are you for real, TBOL? I doubt the very existence of anybody who prefers YouSuckAtCraigsList to our adorable PAN. YSAC is a juvenile site focusing on spelling errors, emoticons, *actions in asterisks*, and the at-least-once-per-post obligatory comment, “Awesome!”. If that’s your idea of funny, well- head on back to YSAC and live the dream.

Dear God- PAN wins the competition on song parodies alone. Have you familiarized yourself with Anthony’s Song (Movin’ Out) yet? …then stick around to witness my favorite: Take Her Honey and Run.

As for memes- it should be clear to any decent commenter that a superior meme such as The Unitard is head and shoulders above drivel such as “Not A Lion”. Seriously- Not A Lion??? The whole thing because somebody mistakenly called a tiger a lion? Again, if that’s your idea of funny, you know what to do.

I am also quite confident that PAN could easily triumph over YSAC in a game of Ultimate Frisbee- if you guys are brave enough to even try (I didn’t think so).

Oct 5, 2011 at 9:14 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #27.1 Canthz_B
  
  To be fair, it’s a self-proclaimed tiny ball of light.
  
  Oct 5, 2011 at 9:26 am rating: 90
- #27.2 redheadwglasses
  
  Canthz, you crack me up!
  
  Oct 5, 2011 at 12:40 pm rating: 90
- #27.3 TinyBallOfLight
  
  Ha ha. Um, wow.
  
  Oct 5, 2011 at 12:54 pm rating: 90
- #27.4 funky "eMonkey" monkey
  
  Monkey please!!!!!!!!
  
  Oct 5, 2011 at 2:31 pm rating: 90
- #27.5 funky "eMonkey" monkey
  
  *peck peck peck on monitor*
  
  Howdy, friends! Come on over to YSaC. We got coffee slices, we got Lola’s flask, we got bees and puppys and llamanuns.
  
  You want parodies? Have you not heard my version of “Jesus Loves Me”? Or my tribute to white 90s rappers, “Mice Mice Baby”? Whaaaa?
  
  By the way, GW (can I call ya GW?), your links were a fail. They took me nowhere. Sure would like to hear what kind of competition you might offer. Oh well.
  
  Oct 5, 2011 at 6:41 pm rating: 90
- #27.6 awesomesauciness
  
  “and the at-least-once-per-post obligatory comment, “Awesome!”.
  
  Hey, GW…I resemble that remark!
  
  You also neglected to mention the YSaC crowds incredibly high intelligence, prolific writing skills and general high-brow snarking.
  
  That’s okay, though, we forgive you. Not everyone can be a genius and funny at the same time.
  
  *looks around*
  
  That’s quite obvious.
  
  Oct 6, 2011 at 6:31 am rating: 90
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#28 Bombdude

I’m down for some Ultimate Frisbee!! *Picks up gauntlet*

Oct 5, 2011 at 3:20 pm rating: 90

reply to this comment
#29 LimeLolly

I love to play frisbee…. let me get this last puff and stub out my cig.

:runs to end of field:
*wheeze, huff, puff, wheeze*

Okay, I’m ready.

:faints:

Oct 5, 2011 at 5:11 pm rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #29.1 funky "eMonkey" monkey
  
  *gives CPR to Limelolly*
  
  Damn it man, not on my watch!!!
  
  Oct 5, 2011 at 6:42 pm rating: 90
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#30 funky "eMonkey" monkey

To make it easier for the cerebrally impaired (that means you, GW, old buddy old bean old pal):

http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/

When you get here, ask about Windy’s backrubs. And tell ‘em old Funky Monkey sent ya.

Oct 5, 2011 at 6:56 pm rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #30.1 Canthz_B
  
  That monkey was fucking delicious.
  
  Oct 5, 2011 at 9:32 pm rating: 90
- #30.2 funky "eMonkey" monkey
  
  Hey Canthz. If you’re gonna be eating monkey you might otter buy somebody dinner. Just saying.
  
  Oct 6, 2011 at 8:52 am rating: 90
- #30.3 Canthz_B
  
  You’ve obviously never seen Faces of Death, and that makes my comment ever so much more fucking delicious!
  
  It’s probably on YouTube, just search “Faces of Death monkey brains” (I don’t do searches for others). Now, it’s probably rated as mature content, so you may not be able to view it.
  
  *shines memebeams*
  
  Oct 7, 2011 at 4:06 am rating: 90
- #30.4 funky "eMonkey" monkey
  
  Of course I’ve never seen Faces of Death. I have a soul and don’t want it tainted by the unspeakable. No, thanks, I won’t Google nor youtube that.
  
  You’re just trying to cover up the fact that you still ain’t bought me dinner. Cheapskate.
  
  And don’t flatter yourself, I’m not flirting.
  
  Oct 7, 2011 at 8:36 am rating: 90
- #30.5 bookworm
  
  I’ve seen Faces of Death. Know why? Because I’m not some pussy whose soul’s purity depends upon my ability to pretend the world is a wonderful place that smells like roses and kittens.
  
  Oh, and Monkey? If anybody wanted to look at your shitty website, we’d be there instead of here. Kisses!
  
  Oct 7, 2011 at 8:48 am rating: 90
- #30.6 Canthz_B
  
  Just like a monkey to see no evil, hear no evil, speak no…oh, never mind. The whole thing failed in the end.
  
  Oct 10, 2011 at 6:36 am rating: 90
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#31 kermit

Hey site admin dude –

Can we have a “flag” button or a way to report spam comments? It would be one thing if this monkey person would pimp his site once and leave but evidently he’s decided to stick around and flame-bait the readership of this site.

I’m quite sure that if we wanted to go read a site about Craigslist ads, we would be able to find it.

Oct 7, 2011 at 8:33 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #31.1 LimeLolly
  
  Apologies to ya’ll. It will stop.
  
  Oct 7, 2011 at 12:13 pm rating: 90
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#32 TinyBallOfLight

Oookay, looks like this got out of hand. I apologize for starting it. I actually really do like PAN, and I’ve read many of the past entries without commenting. I have also commented on a few of the funnier ones. The tea shop in England complaining about dogs, for example.

I used to laugh out loud at the well-timed comedy in the notes. But, I had noticed as of late, that the comments had gotten more serious, less funny and I’m sorry, but a bit boring.

I was trying to pump some life back into the comments and inspire you with a little friendly competition, but I guess it didn’t work. I’ll leave you alone now.

I’ll probably still read the notes from time to time, but not the comments. I don’t have much time in the day, and what I read on a comedy website needs to be funny and entertaining, otherwise it’s not worth it. Take care. =)

Oct 7, 2011 at 1:55 pm rating: 90

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- #32.1 Canthz_B
  
  Funny is in the mind of the understander.
  
  Almost everything here is funny (at the very least entertaining) to someone, even if not to me, I don’t say it’s not funny or entertaining just because it doesn’t happen to tickle or otherwise interest me. I just allow the world to go ’round. You cannot impose your values upon others.
  
  PAN is not always a humorous website, it depends upon the notes, the posted comments and where the wind takes us on any given day. PAN defies definition in that regard…that’s one of the things that has made it a success…as a place to get some yucks and as an information source all at the same time. Some of us like getting both in the same place.
  I can make a joke about biochemistry here, and while the joke may be funny, someone with a deeper understanding of biochemistry will come along and correct me, and so I will learn something new. I cannot see learning something new almost daily as a bad thing.
  
  It’s all worth it. Take care, and try not to be so narrow-minded about such things. =)
  
  Oct 10, 2011 at 1:21 am rating: 90
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#33 kermit

Given all the different log in names, I don’t know who actually “started” it.

If you find the tone of the comments “too boring” then maybe you should have said so and left it at that.

Sorry, but I don’t think flame-baiting is cool or to have passive-aggressive comments on a site about amusing passive aggressive notes.

Oct 8, 2011 at 9:11 am rating: 90

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#34 mmeirie

Okay, I’m a few days late but just want to add one thing to all that are crying about how smoking increases healthcare costs to everyone: so does your diseased liver caused by all the booze you have chosen as a vice to consume all these years. But, I’m not gonna cry about that though, because life’s hard enough so let people have their damn vices and STFU already…unless you are completely vice-free…and unless you’re the Dalai Lama, I’m gonna assume you’re not

Oct 11, 2011 at 2:51 pm rating: 90

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- #34.1 bookworm
  
  I don’t drink. The next time you have a nic-fit, just let yourself have the damn cigarette.
  
  P.S. Your butthurt is showing.
  
  Oct 11, 2011 at 3:52 pm rating: 90
- #34.2 mmeirie
  
  I don’t smoke, but thanks for playing
  
  Oct 11, 2011 at 10:08 pm rating: 90
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