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Pissed off — and rightfully so

October 5th, 2011 · 59 comments

Bob from San Francisco’s explanation: “Partied till 5 am, slept in and missed work, found this note under my door, had to take the walk of shame to find the hose and wash the sidewalk down.” Pooooor Bob, right?

Dear Bob, (I hope I've got your name right), Please do not pee out your bedroom window again! Besides the fact that it is kinda disgusting, unsanitary, and smelly, you make a lot of noise doing it and it wakes me up. Your apartment does come with a toilet - please use it. And it would be the considerate thing to do if you would wash the pavement off below your window. I can smell the urine. Thanks, Jody #2

Meanwhile, in Kentucky…

Bob's urine

related: “Please stop urinating on the door handle” — and other totally reasonable requests.

FILED UNDER: actually totally reasonable · drizzunk · odor · piss · San Francisco · that's disgusting · that's unsanitary

59 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Sesquipedalian

    And thus end all Bob’s hopes of dating Jody in #2.

    Oct 5, 2011 at 10:44 pm   rating: 40  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   FeRD bang

      I dunno, lexiphanic — you may not want to jump to that conclusion just yet.

      After all, Jody #2 does end her note with a rather curious “Thanks”, which in the context of everything she’d just written makes you wonder what she could possibly be thanking Bob for, right then.

      …Sounds like Jody #2 might secretly be a little bit into this stuff, is what I’m saying! ;-)

      (I mean, even right from the start, she “hope[s she's] got [his] name right”. …As if she’s already practicing how she’ll scream it over and over again during some steamy 5am encounter soon to, um, come! — No pun intended, there. Eesh.)

      Oct 6, 2011 at 12:36 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   Canthz_B bang

      Jody takes her morning constitutional at 5am…in clear weather or golden showers.

      Oct 6, 2011 at 12:47 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #1.3   divaandwriter bang

      How do we know Jody is a woman?

      Oct 6, 2011 at 2:10 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #1.4   Somebody Else

      FeRD, FeRD, FeRD … I fervently hope you were just going for a cheap laugh. But lest there be any doubt …

      Jody #2 is just using “nice” female speak to get her point across, and it just goes to show you how warped some of us females can be in this area. Yes, signing off with “thanks” must seem odd to those not trained in our rituals. But she just wants to be “friendly” in case she runs into Bob sometime.

      Also love the use of “kinda” to soften the blow – as in “it is ‘kinda’ disgusting, unsanitary, and smelly”. Jody thinks that what Bob is doing is TOTALLY disgusting, unsanitary, and smelly and she wants it to stop, ergo the note. Fortunately, she was also equipped with the MOM voice – hence the request to “clean up this mess right now buster”. Being on the wrong end of the MOM voice is only good when … umm, pretty much never.

      Oct 7, 2011 at 2:36 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #1.5   Palomon

      I kinda dig the understated “kinda” disgusting.”

      Oct 7, 2011 at 5:27 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #2   P.U.

    I think you mean Pissed On – and rightfully so.

    Oct 5, 2011 at 10:45 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   unsatisfied

      better to be pissed off than pissed on.

      Oct 6, 2011 at 2:14 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #3   Jen

    bob gets around. that must have been some party.

    Oct 5, 2011 at 10:45 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #4   Katie

    c’mon, jody… you are being totally unreasonable. everyone knows men are allowed to pee anywhere they want, whether there’s a toilet or not. right? i could be wrong, i’ve been a little off my game lately.

    Oct 5, 2011 at 10:47 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

  • #5   farcical aquatic ceremony

    Alternatively, Jody could’ve just given her neighbor a call — I think she’d find him listed in the phonebook under “I.P. Freely”.

    Oct 5, 2011 at 10:59 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

  • #6   Dara

    If Bob’s urine is really that color he needs to see a doctor ASAP.

    Oct 5, 2011 at 11:24 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #7   Jenniphyr

    Not sure if Bob II is doing a 24-hr urine test, or if that’s really apple juice & he’s trying to dissuade people from drinking it.

    Oct 6, 2011 at 12:07 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

  • #8   Canthz_B bang

    I know Kentucky is renowned for its racehorses, but I’ve never heard of one simply named “Bob”.

    Oct 6, 2011 at 12:35 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #9   Canthz_B bang

    Bob has a lot of pee stored. Maybe Bob hopes to do something charitable with it…I for one would like to see Bob dole it out.

    Oct 6, 2011 at 12:41 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   ShellyB

      Saving it for poor gardeners who can’t afford fertilizer?

      Fun fact: Urea contains high levels of nitrogen.

      Oct 6, 2011 at 6:35 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #9.2   GhostWriter bang

      It’s funny to see Bob dylan with an irate neighbor. But if we want to talk ethics, Bob marley should do the right thing.

      Oct 6, 2011 at 10:18 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #9.3   Calen

      Whooaaaa. Cathanz, you are an ollld poster. I am currently on page 80 trying to read everything and enjoying your banter versus some pompous Stephen ( and now here you are!
      Hurray, glad to know old residents are still here.
      Maybe I will register soon.

      P.S. Old poster = not a jab at age =p

      Oct 6, 2011 at 1:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #9.4   aaa bang

      Hey, I don’t get an “OMG OLD POSTER” comment? I feel left out. I’ve been here since early 2008 (or whenever the spring semester of my sophomore year of undergrad was). Although pretty sure CB has been here longer than I have. Has my posting been too sporadic lately for me to continue to be noticed? Do I need to post more? WHAT WILL IT TAKE FOR YOU TO APPRECIATE ME?

      I want to make “old poster” a jab at one’s age. Maybe it’ll make me feel like a mature adult or some shit like that. D:

      Oct 6, 2011 at 1:32 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #9.5   quat

      I’ve “liked” you before, aaa!, and I’ll “like” you again. There. Does that warm your cockles?

      Oct 6, 2011 at 10:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #9.6   Canthz_B bang

      I’ll accept “old” as “long-time”. Hey! I celebrated my 4th PAN-day last month and just got my 1st gift!! :-D

      Oct 7, 2011 at 2:53 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #9.7   Calen

      Haha sorry aaa! I will keep an eye out for you in my PAN readings ;)

      Oct 8, 2011 at 12:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #10   Daniel

    What’s a toilet?

    Oct 6, 2011 at 1:09 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Angeline

      What’s a cockle?

      Oct 7, 2011 at 12:56 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #10.2   The Elf

      Well, I’ll give you a hint. Don’t dangle your cockles in the toilet, that water is cold.

      Oct 7, 2011 at 11:22 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #11   tricia

    bob’s urine is actually a jug of arizona green tea. i drink the stuff every day, and it’s the exact same container from what i can see in the pic. and that’s the same color too…

    Oct 6, 2011 at 2:20 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #12   Penultimate

    Bob going #1 bugs Jody in #2? There’s a joke in there somewhere…

    Oct 6, 2011 at 2:25 am   rating: 30  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

      …and I think you just made it.

      Oct 6, 2011 at 5:20 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #13   Andvari

    I bet Bob’s urine is fucking delicious.

    Oct 6, 2011 at 8:28 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   unsatisfied

      bad pee you?

      Oct 6, 2011 at 10:10 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #14   tara

    This is pretty funny. That said, her note doesn’t seem that passive aggressive to me, unless it’s just the fact that she wrote a note rather than saying it to his face.

    Oct 6, 2011 at 9:00 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   aaa bang

      Look at the top of the page there. “funny (if not necessarily “passive-aggressive”) notes from pissed-off people”. There’s also an entire page about that.

      How come I’m always the one to point this out to people? I think some of the other long-time commenters need to quit slacking and get on “HEY, KERRY’S ANTICIPATED YOUR DISAPPOINTMENT IN THE LACK OF TRUE PASSIVE AGGRESSION” duty.

      Oct 6, 2011 at 10:31 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #14.2   Somebody Else

      Only in this case, the note wasn’t from the “pissed-off” person, wink wink nudge nudge.

      Oct 7, 2011 at 2:45 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #15   unsatisfied

    so, bob “makes a lot of noise doing it”?

    if he’s making a lot of noise while peeing, he’s doing it wrong. or, he has a STD.

    either way — bob — get to a doctor, stat.

    Oct 6, 2011 at 10:10 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   sleeps

      Nah, it’s just the sound of urine falling from such great heights. There was a guy we used to call ‘Thunderpisser’ in school because of his proclivity toward drinking excessively and then urinating off the side of the front porch. That porch wasn’t even a whole story off the ground and that was some LOUD peeing, let me tell you.

      Oct 6, 2011 at 11:33 am   rating: 35  small thumbs up

    • #15.2   aaa bang

      Yeah, definitely thumbing your comment for “Thunderpisser.”

      Oct 6, 2011 at 5:39 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #15.3   Dave

      Sleeps, I agree with peeing from heights, but keep in mind that Bob’s neighbor Jody is (we assume) in apartment #2, unless “Jody #2″ was some kind of code to let him know she wouldn’t mind so much if he took a healthy dump out his window instead of peeing. Anyway, given this assumption, we can assume that Bob is in the next apartment, probably #3, or, dare I say it? #1??? So we can further assume Bob is on the first floor, which wouldn’t give much height. Of course if Bob lives above her, then that’s different. And funnier. Just imagine if Bob lives on the tenth floor! (Cue waterfall)

      Oct 6, 2011 at 11:43 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #15.4   The Elf

      “Thunderpisser” would be a great superhero name!

      Oct 7, 2011 at 7:14 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #15.5   sleeps

      Don’t go chasin waterfalls, Dave.

      Oct 7, 2011 at 10:14 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #16   GhostWriter bang

    It’s all a ruse- Bob’s actually storing his urine in the Gatorade bottle.

    That Bob!

    Oct 6, 2011 at 10:22 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #17   aaa bang

    At first, I misread “pee out the window” as “pec out the window” and was left wondering what sort of overly macho, muscular demonstrations Bob was performing, why he was doing out the window, and how the hell he managed pulling it off in such a manner that was capable of disturbing other people.


    Oct 6, 2011 at 10:26 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

  • #18   aaa bang

    Is that Arizona green tea in that gigantass jug there? Yeah, I think “Bob’s Urine” is an accurate enough label for that.

    Oct 6, 2011 at 10:32 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   The Elf

      Same thing whether it is going in or coming out, really.

      Oct 7, 2011 at 11:23 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #19   El Jefe

    Definitely Team Jody here, obviously. Well-written note which is only inaccurate on one point; urine is sterile. Quality of sleep and smell concerns are substantial enough to carry the request.

    Oct 6, 2011 at 10:59 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   johnnyboy

      Healthy urine is mostly sterile while in the bladder, but after it has passed through the unsterile urethra, it does contain bacteria. Especially if it’s Bob’s nasty drunken urethra.

      Oct 6, 2011 at 12:02 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #19.2   unsatisfied

      nasty drunken urethra = great band name.

      Oct 6, 2011 at 2:15 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

  • #20   johnnyboy

    She’s pissed that pissed, he pissed.

    Oct 6, 2011 at 11:59 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

  • #21   redheadwglasses

    I think it’s great — it’s not a P/A note, nor is it an aggressive note. It’s to the point, has a fair complaint in it, doesn’t get muddied with hearts and rainbows and smilies, and she signs her name and unit number. I think he probably has a pretty awesome neighbor here.

    Oct 6, 2011 at 12:03 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #22   ansco

    Anybody who stores their pee needs to have some kind of mental issue especially if they store it in the frig. Very odd indeed. Jody, my dear you are one very light sleeper.

    Oct 6, 2011 at 12:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   aaa bang

      What, you never keep a stash of pee for emergencies? Man, you don’t know what you’re missing out on.

      Oct 6, 2011 at 1:39 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #22.2   Kayte

      If it’s a 24-hour urine test, it has to be stored in the fridge.
      Though if it IS a 24-hour urine test, they usually provide you with several sample jugs containing preservative….it’s so ghetto to put it in an apple juice jug. Not to mention it makes the test invalid as the urine breaks down without the preservative.

      So I don’t know exactly wtf is going on with that one. He’s either a freak, a prankster protecting his apple juice, or a very stupid patient.

      Oct 6, 2011 at 2:59 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #22.3   aaa bang

    • #22.4   Somebody Else

      Team Janos. Bob splurged and got the high-end apple juice and doesn’t want to share with his pilfering roomies. All one really needs to do to check is unscrew the top and give it a sniff.

      Question is – would YOU take the chance and give it a sniff?

      Score 1 for Bob. Jody #2 is even interested, or so I’ve been told.

      Oct 7, 2011 at 2:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #22.5   Somebody Else

      Dag nab it, wrong thread.

      Oct 7, 2011 at 2:59 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #23   janos

    Thats his bottle of apple juice! Bob’s a tricky one.

    Oct 6, 2011 at 10:41 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #24   chesire cat

    All I can think is maybe he needed to collect some urine for a doctor thing, but then again, not that is not right. For one thing, that is not a urine specimen cup and secondly, you never need a sample that big. So yeah….I am at a loss there.

    Oct 6, 2011 at 11:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Kayte

      Yeah you do. A 24-hour urine collection is used for some tests, they send you home with two huge-ass jugs (two, just in case you piss a lot and fill the first jug before 24 hours has passed).
      They can be used to test for proteins, abnormal urine volume, kidney function, bacterial concentration, severe kidney stones, and nephritis, among many other conditions.
      The human body can piss like a racehorse when it has a mind to, you definitely need a container that big.

      Why it’s not a preservative-laced specimen jug, though…that’s another matter entirely. He’ll just have to do the test over again when they find out he used the wrong container.

      */lab tech*

      Oct 7, 2011 at 1:32 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #24.2   makfan

      Oddly enough, iced tea sometimes brings out the racehorse in me.

      Oct 9, 2011 at 4:25 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #25   jaylemeux

    Bob should not have washed the sidewalk off. It serves nothing but the psychology of the weak and superstitious.

    Oct 10, 2011 at 12:24 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up


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