Stay classy, Fairbanks

October 10th, 2011 · 43 comments

I’ll admit it: When reading the backstory to this note, I definitely raised an eyebrow at Mary’s assertion that this restaurant in Fairbanks, Alaska — Bobby’s Downtown — is best known for its “lavishly posh restrooms.” Then I took a look at the online reviews.

The bathrooms are the best thing about this restaurant.

"Best bathroom ever."

Now, as fascinated as I am by this whole “princess of the bathrooms” concept, I should probably get back to Mary — who, on her most recent visit to Bobby’s famous facilities, spotted a delightful new addition to the decor:

To the person who stole the previous 3 telephones:  I hope you really needed them, But your Actions speak louder!!! I will NOT let you spoil it for the rest of our customers!  Believe me I will catch you and it will not be a pretty picture when your name will appear on the front page of the newspaper, and you standing in front of a Judge trying to explain to the Law why you like stealing!  With much Love Always ... BOBBY.

To the person who stole the previous 3 telephones:  I hope you really needed them, But your Actions speak louder!!! I will NOT let you spoil it for the rest of our customers!  Believe me I will catch you and it will not be a pretty picture when your name will appear on the front page of the newspaper, and you standing in front of a Judge trying to explain to the Law why you like stealing!  With much Love Always ... BOBBY.

Boy, that is one issue of the Fairbanks Daily News-Miner I cannot wait to see.

related: The Mad Hatter’s Tea Shop Rules

FILED UNDER: Alaska · bathroom · not-so-veiled threats · restaurant · signed with love · stealing


43 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Mishee

    OMG. I must see these bathrooms!

    Oct 10, 2011 at 8:30 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Palomon

      Is the phone in the bathroom?

      Oct 10, 2011 at 8:43 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   The Elf

      That’s likely to spawn another set of PANs!

      Oct 11, 2011 at 8:32 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   Melissa

      THey really are legendary! Through the moves around town Bobby’s bathrooms are still a fun surprise! The ENTIRE experience of coming to this restaurant is LOVELY! THere aren’t many places to eat out and this one is outrageously cool :) viral bathroom photobomb meme please ???

      Oct 11, 2011 at 9:14 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Anita

    Aw, my little corner of Hell is on the internet…and I’ve still never gotten around to seeing the toilets at Bobby’s.

    Oct 10, 2011 at 8:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   park rose bang

      Appears in puff of smoke, evil laughter resonates the textbox
      You rang?

      Oct 10, 2011 at 9:12 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Palomon

      …on a stolen phone!

      Oct 10, 2011 at 9:15 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   park rose

      Hey, how ya’ doin’?
      Sorry you can’t get through.
      Why don’t you leave your name, and your number,
      and I’ll get back to you!

      Once again, it’s another rap bandit . . .

      Oct 10, 2011 at 9:22 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Palomon

    Those phones were fucking delicious.

    We still doing that?

    Oct 10, 2011 at 9:24 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   The Elf

      No.

      Oct 11, 2011 at 8:33 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   unsatisfied

      bad joke you!

      Oct 11, 2011 at 3:47 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   LOL

    Is it the only restaurant in Alaska? Is that why we keep going back?

    Oct 10, 2011 at 9:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Palomon

      You’ve never heard of The Brick? Best moose burgers in the world.

      Oct 10, 2011 at 9:29 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   unsatisfied

      freshly shot by sarah palin herself?

      Oct 11, 2011 at 3:48 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Mary

    Yes, the phone is in the bathroom, and the bathrooms are pretty fabulous. Instead of stalls, there are three small rooms off the main bathroom, each with a toilet and its own sink.

    That being said, the food is pretty overpriced (even for Fairbanks standards). I let visiting family take me, but I don’t go there on my own.

    Oct 10, 2011 at 9:51 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Palomon

      Not enough “awes” in “awesome.”

      Oct 10, 2011 at 9:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Amy

    Wow lol, I’d like to see some pictures of the inside of the bathroom… well besides that gorgeous-looking phone :D

    Oct 11, 2011 at 6:30 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Adriana

    Now when I lie to people about my travels, I’ll have a useless little piece of trivia that will make my story seem more plausible.

    Complete Stranger: You were just in Alaska?
    Me: Yeah, Fairbanks. I ate at Bobby’s. The bathrooms are out of this world.

    Thanks, PAN!

    Oct 11, 2011 at 7:21 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Houdini

    Bobby got what he deserved. Decorating a bathroom with a phone… *shudder*

    Oct 11, 2011 at 7:24 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Jamie

      I just read a news story that said 1 in 6 cell phones is crawling with fecal e. coli. I don’t even want to know what a Bobby’s phone would look like under a black light! (You know, if fecal mist showed up under a black light.)

      Oct 15, 2011 at 12:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Ashley

    I found a picture of the bathrooms by google image searching “bobby’s downtown bathroom”, they do look very nice!

    Oct 11, 2011 at 9:07 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Jimmy James

    Something about the red walls and the old-fashioned telephone make me think walking into the bathroom would be like walking onto the set of a David Lynch film. Before you can enter the stall, it starts ringing and you get a cryptic message from a backwards-talking dwarf.

    Oct 11, 2011 at 9:21 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Mystery Man

      Call me. Dial your number. Go Ahead.

      Oct 11, 2011 at 10:46 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Palomon

    But your actions have more exclamation points.

    . . !

    Oct 11, 2011 at 11:40 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Charlie

    Dear Bobby,

    I’m trying to set up a phone bank and FedEx doesn’t deliver to Wasila. I’m sure you’ll understand.

    Sincerely,

    Sarah

    Oct 11, 2011 at 12:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Laura

    I can see why people would steal those phones! I’ve wanted one of those since I was little!

    Oct 11, 2011 at 1:12 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   divaandwriter bang

    Why have that silly old-fashioned phone in the bathroom? Doesn’t everybody in Alaska have a cell phone now, like we do everywhere else?

    Oct 11, 2011 at 1:58 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   bookworm

    Screw explaining the thefts, I want to know why Bobby continually chooses to put those nice telephones where he knows they’re getting stolen.

    Oct 11, 2011 at 3:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Mary

    Different Mary than the one who submitted this, but oddly enought I live in fairbanks and I ate at Bobby’s last night. The Women’s restroom really is that great, but I hear the Men’s room is normal. I’ve always wanted an excuse to make a call from that phone…

    Oct 11, 2011 at 4:01 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Palomon

    Sent from my iphone.

    In Bobby’s men’s room.

    Oct 11, 2011 at 4:12 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Hanna

    I totally want to visit that bathroom.

    Oct 11, 2011 at 4:31 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   pony girl

    Classy restaurants used to have phones in the ladies room.
    Obviously Bobby has overestimated the class level of his clientele.

    Oct 11, 2011 at 5:00 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Melissa

      B!tch, I IZ classy! You obvz haven’t seen it! Come on over and have a peek?

      Oct 11, 2011 at 9:19 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Angeline

    “And then she said – just a sec, I can’t quite reach-” (kaDUGE gurgle gurgle glub glurg)
    “Hello?”

    Oct 11, 2011 at 7:28 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

    Why does Bobby assume that one person stole all three telephones? He must have more information than he’s letting on in the note, because it seems to me that it’s far more likely that three separate unrelated individuals have all each stolen a telephone. Who needs three telephones?

    Oct 12, 2011 at 9:36 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

      But yeah, obviously Team Bobby; stealing isn’t cool. Telephones in bathrooms aren’t cool either, but stealing is more not-coolerer.

      Oct 12, 2011 at 9:38 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Kim

    I love it, I actually saw this note in person, the phone before this white phone was a kick ass red one and that one had a note too that said something like ‘ladies, I love you. If you need a phone that badly, come talk to me. I will buy you one!’.

    I love my weird little city!

    Oct 13, 2011 at 3:28 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Heather

    LOOOL. I enjoyed this since I live in Fairbanks! I don’t really like the food at Bobby’s but they probably do have the best bathrooms in Fairbanks :P

    Oct 15, 2011 at 12:24 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Ava

    hahaha I am the Ava who wrote that first review. I can’t believe I just found this online, totally randomly. Hilarious!!!

    Oct 26, 2011 at 6:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Tara

    I grew up in Fairbanks, and Bobby’s is pretty darn gorgeous inside, my friends had a wedding reception there. Bobby is a nice fella too.

    Oct 31, 2011 at 3:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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