And yes, I will go completely ‘PC Load Letter’ on your ass if you ask me another question about this damn printer.

October 12th, 2011 · 47 comments

“My buddy has to share his office with the only color printer on the floor,” says Murray in Birmingham, Alabama.

(Based on this note, I wouldn’t be surprised if he shared his office with a Louisville Slugger, too.)

OUT OF ORDER -Yes it's really not working -Yes, we've called I.T. -Yes, they've called a repairman -No, I don't know when it'll be repaired -No, I don't know where you can print your stuff in color -Yes, we have cycled the power and cleaned the sensor. Thanks!

related: Yes, it’s a longer walk to the copier. Yes, it’s a shorter walk to the bathroom.

extra credit: Office Space Printer Montage [vimeo.com]

FILED UNDER: Alabama · let me stop you right there · office · the printer


47 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Quite Contrary

    I used to sit near the ladies room. The mens room was in an odd location relative to the ladies room. Thinking the mens room was in an obvious location near the womens room, people would ask me where the men’s room was. They finally stopped when I started answering, “I don’t know. I’ve never been in it.”

    Oct 12, 2011 at 10:14 pm   rating: 39  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Baz

      @Quite Contrary,

      that makes no sense:

      - Once people know where the men’s bathroom is they won’t ask you.

      - New people who don’t know where the bathroom is won’t know your answer until they’ve bothered you to ask.

      Or have I missed something?

      Oct 12, 2011 at 10:30 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Quite Contrary

      You think I made up “Quite Contrary” just for panotes.com?

      Oct 12, 2011 at 10:33 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   Palomon

      Critical Jim.

      Oct 12, 2011 at 11:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   tyler

    first!……. and i feel his pain

    Oct 12, 2011 at 10:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   tyler

    nevermind… only second and third..

    Oct 12, 2011 at 10:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   ansco

    Did you check the ink cartridge? I noticed that wasn’t on the list. How about the paper tray is it empty? Did you try the reset button? Huh, well did you? Did I.T. have a replacement one use in the mean time? Did you ask? Well huh. I can go on an on if this was in my office, I’d deliberately try to drive this guy crazy after I read that note.

    Oct 12, 2011 at 10:18 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Jenn

    perhaps but what proof do they have???

    Oct 12, 2011 at 10:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Mishee™ bang

    They are lucky the note is handwritten, cause if it was printed out I would’ve called bullshit.

    Oct 12, 2011 at 10:43 pm   rating: 48  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Jay

    Baz – I was thinking the exact same thing. Obviously if they’ve asked her once, they are not going to ask again whether she said “it’s on the other side of the floor” or “I don’t know, I’ve never been in it.” Both responses = no question from this questioner next time. Maybe she just thought she was being clever and it never occurred to her that the people who got a straight answer from her also never asked again.

    Oct 12, 2011 at 11:17 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Dalamara

      Or, maybe she really doesn’t know.

      Oct 12, 2011 at 11:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Palomon

      Find the “reply to this comment” or “add to this thread.” It’ll make the conversation flow more easily.

      Oct 12, 2011 at 11:34 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   sleeps

      GIGGLEBRAX STRIKES AGAIN!!!

      Oct 13, 2011 at 9:18 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   bluebird

      I rather think the point Quite Contrary was trying to make is that she’s a FEMALE, so why should she know where the MEN’S room is? Why should she have bothered to research this information and care? At least, that’s what I got from her comment.

      Oct 13, 2011 at 1:46 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.5   lol no

      “Both responses = no question from this questioner next time.”

      We have a customer at my work who I have dubbed “Fried Chicken Guy.”

      He asks if we have fried chicken. I point to the case and tell him “no sir, I’m sorry, but the items we have are the ones in the case.” He will then bitch to me about why we don’t have fried chicken. I explain that we do not have a deep fryer on the premises, and our chefs can only put together a batch if they have the time to shallow fry several chickens. He grumbles, then walks away.

      I have – LITERALLY – had this same fucking conversation with him about a dozen times. It is getting to the point where I am ready to start finding a task to do in the walk-in the moment he comes in the door. Don’t assume that most of the population will commit an answer to memory.

      Oct 16, 2011 at 7:59 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.6   Jake

      The Chicken guy probably has Aspergers or Autism.

      So I am having trouble with P/A and I am a Minnesotan, the so-called home of it. Is the note writer the bad one here or the askers? I sit next to the HR lady here and people come looking for her and ask me a lot. Many speak poor english so even when I answer “I don’t know” they don’t know what to do. If I know, I’ll tell them, but 4 of 5 time I don’t. I think that is the best answer. It’s broke, I don’t know.

      Nov 2, 2011 at 2:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   matt

    This is not PA. There are no personal attacks, barbed comments, no sabotage and no excessive exclamation mark use. It is just pre-empting the questions people will natural want to ask if the machine isn’t working.

    Oct 12, 2011 at 11:54 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   matt

      *naturally

      Oct 12, 2011 at 11:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Palomon

      It’s not PA? Has this site gone topsy-turvy? Suddenly it’s just not funny anymore. Time to take it down.

      Oct 13, 2011 at 12:04 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   juju_skittles

      Try imagining that you have been asked these questions 132 times this morning alone already. Then try reading the note with the tired, sarcastic voice of a person who may or may not turn up to work tomorrow with a machine gun. Sound a little more PAN now? And that handwriting does not look like a person on an even keel wrote it. . .

      Oct 13, 2011 at 12:04 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   matt

      @Juju: That’s something that your reading into the note, not something which the note explicitly states or shows. As I said, lack of exclamation marks or veiled threats makes this very low-level PA if it is at all. Yes, it does sound like the note-writer is annoyed, but not pissed off enough to engage in the high level PA stuff like !!!!!!!!!!!s

      Oct 13, 2011 at 12:23 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   Jamie

      Matt, I think your PA-radar is seriously malfunctioning.

      Oct 15, 2011 at 12:06 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Tesstarosa

    I think the “Yes, it’s really not working” as the first item on the list makes it PA.

    Oct 13, 2011 at 12:45 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   RubeMcCube bang

      …and it ends with a clearly insincere “Thanks”

      Oct 13, 2011 at 1:28 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Canthz_B bang

    See, I told you Donald Rumsfeld would land on his feet!!

    Oct 13, 2011 at 1:44 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   park rose

      Well, he’s never off them!

      Oct 14, 2011 at 3:26 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   expire

    The person should have that note printed in colour (I’m thinking that rainbow ‘word art’ from msword) just to really mess with everyone

    Oct 13, 2011 at 5:31 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   nick

    This could SO be my note. I have the misfortune of sitting right next to the copier/printer/fax in our office, with absolutely NO sound barrier around it, so the noise alone puts me close to my snapping point on most days. Then, whenever it jams, needs paper, needs toner, or someone just doesn’t know how to use it, they assume that I am able to help them, solely based on my proximity to the stupid piece of crap.

    Oct 13, 2011 at 8:09 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   redheadwglasses

      I sit next to the copier/scanner/printer/fax as well. I work with ENGINEERS. Very, very smart guys who are technie nerds. But my god, they are incapable of looking at the (very user-friendly) screen and (1) making some basic decisions based on the (2) easy-to-follow instructions. “So how do I copy in color.” Um, choose “copy” then choose “color.”

      I’m so tired of it, my standard response now is: “Why don’t you actually try it before asking for help?”

      Note: These engineers have been using the same machine for over five years. When they ask dumb questions, what they really want is for me to do it FOR them. And that’s absolutely not part of my job. Want someone to make your copies for you? Get a job that provides you with an assistant.

      Oct 14, 2011 at 12:04 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Kim

    I lol’d because I’m dealing with a similar issue this morning. Elevator next to my desk decided to stop working. I contacted Operations and put an ‘Out of Order’ sign with a note that Operations were aware of the problem onto the elevator doors. And everyone is still asking me if anyone has been notified. *head desk*

    Oct 13, 2011 at 8:17 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   TKD

      Please, please, please… put a snarky out of order message on the door. Then when people ask, hand them a piece of paper, several colored markers and encourage them to experess their displeasure at having to take the stairs. Tell them that ending sentences with ellipsis (ellipses?) and multiple exclaimation points will drive home the message.

      Oct 13, 2011 at 8:50 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   The Elf

      Don’t forget to use hi-liters!

      Oct 13, 2011 at 9:13 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   baseball sue

    As someone who sits next to the copier, I completely understand the note. I have advanced degrees in my field so that I don’t HAVE to deal with copiers on a regular basis. Sitting next to the copier is my own personal hell. And each and every day, I field questions about said copier, usually answering “I don’t know” which surprisingly pisses people off.

    Oct 13, 2011 at 8:31 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   sleeps

      Shit, nobody told me when I graduated law school that having an advanced degree was my ‘get-out-of-copier-use-free’ card. I will have to tell the other two people in my office about this immediately! I’m sure it will go over well. “Sorry, I need 10 copies of this, can you run them off for me? I’d do it but, you know, got that JD and all…”

      Oct 13, 2011 at 9:22 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   emcd

      @ sleeps – that’s “advanced degreeS” – one must posess more than one “advanced” “degree” to properly exercise elitist business machine snobbery.

      Oct 13, 2011 at 11:59 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   sleeps

      Dammit. MBA, here I come!!

      Oct 13, 2011 at 12:31 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   nick

      I sit next to the copier/printer too, and people get all kinds of pissed off when I say I don’t know how to fix the copier when it breaks. An analyst from another department didn’t speak to me for two weeks after I pointed to the supply cabinet and told her, “The toner’s in there. Follow the directions on the screen to install it,” after she informed me the copier needed a new toner cartridge. Maybe she thinks I have a degree in copier repair LOL.

      Oct 13, 2011 at 2:25 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.5   Angie

      I work in an attorneys office. I am pretty sure I’ve never seen any of our six attorneys actually use the copy machine. Hell, we’ve got one that won’t let us put a computer on his desk, and makes someone print out his emails for him, and then dictates responses.

      God, I need a new job. Anyone hiring a paralegal?

      Oct 13, 2011 at 10:02 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   The Elf

    Why is it that the printer always breaks whenever I have something to print that cannot wait? Then I rush down to the other printer, and that one is broken too. Then I go to another floor, and that one is broken. Oh, there have been days when I’ve wanted to pull an Office Space.

    The printers and I have a love/hate relationship. Okay, more like hate/hate. Since I’m at the printer fiddling with it most often, people have assumed I have some mystical way to fix it. I don’t. I don’t even have keys to the supply cabinet to change the toner. I completely sympathize with this note. Totally passive-aggressive, but so totally accurate too.

    Oct 13, 2011 at 9:12 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   HAHA

    I seriously feel this guy’s pain. Last corporate job I had, the main printer was located right next to my department’s Dilbert city..People would jam the copier and walk away, need paper and ask us, need toner and ask us, need help and ask us. Our department wasn’t called The Printer Assistance department. One of the boneheads that worked for me wasted more time being helpful to the printer deficient people..Finally had to put up a similar note directing people to fix it, supply it, copy things all by-your-overpaid self AND have a talk with my time wasting employee. Finally had the powers to be move it to the other side of the call center. We had our own printer anyway.

    Oct 13, 2011 at 9:58 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Somebody Else

    Team Note-Writer, but I’m deducting points because he didn’t group all of the Yes comments together. He would have gotten a perfect score if only he had organized his thoughts more thoroughly …

    Oct 13, 2011 at 12:47 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   nick

      See, now I would’ve liked him to alternate more evenly between yes/no.

      Oct 13, 2011 at 2:28 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   Palomon

      I wonder if the list grew as people began asking more questions- he may have to tape another sheet of paper.

      Oct 13, 2011 at 3:12 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   Somebody Else

      @Nick, your solution would have been acceptable too as it would have demonstrated a higher level of skill in the PAN “organized thoughts” category.

      If only there were a “PAN Olympics” so that competitors would have that higher level of competition to inspire them to reach their full potential.

      This entry was quite good, but it could have been just a tad bit better. Sigh.

      Oct 13, 2011 at 6:11 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Ashley

    Well they all seem like answers to valid questions.

    I’ve come across things at work that are “out of order”, I seem to be the only one that questions these things. Sometimes all I have to do is plug it back into the wall or make a simple help desk phone call. Some people are lazy and dumb.

    Oct 13, 2011 at 7:43 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Mark

    I’m glad I clicked on the vimeo link just for the three months of troll-feeding in the comments about the rap music on the clip’s soundtrack. It was fascinating and disturbing, like a train smashing into a Dunkin Donuts.

    Oct 14, 2011 at 11:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Matthew

    Lol, I like the lord one. Most Americans don’t know the difference between ‘Your’ and “You’re’

    The office one is cute too. We all I.T. people are tired of asking the same questions again and again about broken printers in the office.

    Oct 18, 2011 at 10:04 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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