Notice: This is a ‘candy optional’ office

October 14th, 2011 · 45 comments

Spotted next to a festive bowl of Halloween candy in a university administrative office: a preemptive strike at the Jeffs of the world.

(I love it.)

OPTIONAL CANDY 1) Yes, you may have some. 2) No rationalization or diet talk necessary or welcome. .

related: Cupcakes make people…

FILED UNDER: candy · let me stop you right there · most popular notes of 2011 · office


45 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Mishee™ bang

    so… I can have some then…?

    Oct 14, 2011 at 12:55 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Canthz_B bang

      Are you going to eat that, Mishee™? Don’t you know how many calories are in that thing?
      Not to mention the refined sugar conten…oh..no, I had not seen the sign…carry on.

      Oct 14, 2011 at 2:15 am   rating: 35  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   lagne

    This should be printed poster-sized and framed.

    Oct 14, 2011 at 12:56 am   rating: 63  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Palomon

      I got a rock.

      Oct 14, 2011 at 1:06 am   rating: 33  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Mari Rose

    The “Jeff” link is dead. I think it was supposed to go here: http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/08/14/a-citation-from-the-fat-police/

    Oct 14, 2011 at 1:14 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Just Passing Thru bang

    Does the “No Diet Talk” mean it’s sugar-free candy?… If so, then I don’t want any & I’d like to complain about you imposing your fear-of-sugar beliefs on me.

    Oct 14, 2011 at 2:07 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   SoRefined

      Unlikely. It probably means just what it says, that no rationalization is necessary. If you want a candy, have a candy. Some people, especially if the food is out in the open, have to justify eating because they’ve had ‘candy is bad’ drilled into their heads since they were wee. “It’s there and it would be lovely to have a piece,” isn’t enough.

      Oct 14, 2011 at 9:35 am   rating: 39  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Grant

    Optional candy. Is that like a shares option?

    Oct 14, 2011 at 3:52 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Jo's comment

    appropriately placed weight watchers ad-link makes this post guilt free?

    Oct 14, 2011 at 5:48 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Addie

      Mine is for Denny’s … now I’m sad I don’t get the guilt free post.

      Oct 14, 2011 at 8:29 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   The Elf

      I got Jenny Craig. So depressing.

      Oct 14, 2011 at 8:40 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   divaandwriter bang

      I got an ad about depression. That’s REALLY depressing.

      Oct 14, 2011 at 9:03 am   rating: 34  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   Lil'

      I got Cover Girl. I’m slightly offended.

      Oct 14, 2011 at 12:20 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   Sean Jungian

      I got Nordstrom. For men’s shoes. What are they trying to say about my feet????

      Oct 14, 2011 at 12:34 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.6   Charlie

      I got laundry detergent. Apparently, the chocolate got on my shirt.

      Oct 14, 2011 at 12:57 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.7   lownote

      Mine’s offering to let me in on Britain’s hottest diet tip to lose 3 dress sizes in three months…

      Oct 15, 2011 at 3:04 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.8   pony girl

      I don’t get any ads.
      Guess they know that I have no money.

      Oct 15, 2011 at 6:38 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.9   Allthatglittas

      mine is for head and shoulders shampoo. sigh.

      Oct 16, 2011 at 8:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.10   makfan

      Mine was “Learn about your behavioral advertising choices from NAI.”

      Oct 17, 2011 at 4:57 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Nunavut Guy

    Those candies had better be peanut-free or I’m going to HR!

    Oct 14, 2011 at 5:49 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   The Elf

      They’re the new peanut-free, sugar-free, calorie-free candy: empty wrappers. Yes you may have some.

      Oct 14, 2011 at 8:37 am   rating: 34  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Uhh

      Are they vegan?

      Oct 17, 2011 at 7:46 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   gladystopia

    3: Persons caught picking through the dish in an attempt to find ‘good’ candy will be subject to public shaming. (What, you think WE don’t just want to eat the mini KitKats instead of Tootsie Rolls, Jolly Ranchers, and those nasty little coconut neopolitan things? Think again…)

    4. Continued violations will result in the dish being refilled with only those orange, allegedly marshmallow “circus peanuts” until the culprit turns himself/herself in. (Don’t blame me–you brought this on yourself.)

    Oct 14, 2011 at 6:31 am   rating: 46  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   se

      mmm, circus peanuts. that is a great idea. Then I could have them all to myself. yum.

      Oct 14, 2011 at 3:46 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   pony girl

      Feel free to avoid the Tootsie Rolls. I LOVE those.

      ps – Red Vines Rule!

      pps- Twizzlers suck!

      Oct 14, 2011 at 9:55 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Ashley

    Omg, I work as a receptionist at a university too, and we have a candy bowl at the front desk. Students are always asking if they can have some even though the bowl is placed in such a way that it is obvious that the candy is set out for them, not me. Every now and then, I want to just mess with them and yell “No! Mine!”

    Oct 14, 2011 at 6:41 am   rating: 83  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Jimmy James

      My old landlord used to have a bowl set out in their office. They’d always invite you to take one after dropping off rent, which my flatmate and I joked made it feel a little like paying $500 for a fun size Snickers.

      Oct 14, 2011 at 9:12 am   rating: 48  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   divaandwriter bang

      At least your students are being polite.

      I, too, work at a university reception desk. Occasionally (although not often anymore) I put out a bowl or jar of candy. This is always at my own expense. The school doesn’t pay for it. I do this because I like to do it. Some of the students ask me politely if they can have some. Most people just take some without asking, which is fine.

      One student, however, came to my desk, put her hand into the candy jar, and found it empty. She didn’t say a word to me or give me any kind of acknowledgement. She just cussed under her breath and walked away. For a long time after that, I didn’t put out any more candy, and I do it only rarely now.

      Oct 14, 2011 at 9:14 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   Charlie

      I used to put candy out on my desk for people. I’d buy whatever I was in the mood for, and was always glad to share it. I took it away when people started complaining when I failed to put out chocolate.

      Oct 14, 2011 at 12:55 pm   rating: 40  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   lily

      When my lab class was doing an activity with operant conditioning, we had to come up with a task for the other students to do, only giving them hints by telling them to have an m&m. My task was to take candy from one of these such candy bowls. Oh the looks I got.

      Oct 16, 2011 at 5:54 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   divaandwriter bang

      Charlie, my answer when people complain about the candy that I put out (or complain that I don’t have any) is that they are welcome to buy some, bring it in and put it on my desk. Nobody ever takes me up on that suggestion. Strange. ;)

      Oct 17, 2011 at 9:05 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.6   makfan

      We had a candy lady at a previous job. I did contribute some bags to her stash – people seemed to like peanut butter M&Ms so I bought those once in a while.

      Oct 17, 2011 at 4:59 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.7   Jenn

      My weekend job has a candy bowl set out for Halloween. I love to screw with people by saying “no!” when they politely ask for something that they are obviously free to take/do. Most people just take/do it anyway. I get a couple of looks of disbelief on occasion.

      Oct 30, 2011 at 4:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Tad

    I keep a candy bowl full all your round for my employees to enjoy. I can relate to this note! I don’t need you to rationalize your decision to grab a kit kat every time you come in. (Four times a day). Just take it and go. That is what they are there for.

    Oct 14, 2011 at 9:10 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Some fat guy

      Are you hiring?

      I will move across the country for free daily Kit-Kats.

      Oct 14, 2011 at 9:25 am   rating: 45  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   notthefoodpolice

    I like this note. Just eat a freaking piece of candy if you want one, without engaging in ritual self-flagellation to let everyone know that you are actually omgsuperhealthy. (Bonus: candy is at least 50% more delicious without guilt and shame.)

    Oct 14, 2011 at 9:43 am   rating: 63  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   unsatisfied

      not only that, it’s 50% more fucking delicious.

      Oct 14, 2011 at 2:15 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   LizC

    See I’m tempted to put out a different note:

    1. Please take only one piece of candy per day.

    I decided to put out candy at Halloween to invite people to my desk because I’m still new and don’t know some people as well and I thought it’d be nice. Only some people take advantage and run off with 5 pieces of candy at a time. Really?

    Oct 14, 2011 at 1:08 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   gladystopia

      On the plus side, however, you now know people well enough to discern whether they’re polite candy-consumers, or chocolate-snorfling gluttons. (You can learn a lot from a candy dish…)

      Oct 14, 2011 at 11:52 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   Jamie

      Speaking of taking advantage, last Halloween I thought it maybe a little shady when a mom came around trick-or-treating for her infant (who clearly couldn’t eat on the candy), but then – no joke – a grown woman came to my door to trick-or-treat for her dressed-up CHIHUAHUA. How messed up is that?

      Oct 15, 2011 at 12:04 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   Adriana

      I don’t think I’d mind. If you dress up and want to invest the time trick-or-treating rather than just spend $3.50 on a bag of candy, then more power to you, I guess. The cost of the humiliation has to be worth a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup.

      Oct 15, 2011 at 4:30 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.4   Tatterdemalion

      I think you can pull off trick-or-treating as an adult only if you do something weird and subversive. When I was in my late teens I didn’t have anything to do for halloween one year so I went around knocking on doors and giving people glass beads – muttered some peculiar-sounding words at them and bowed and walked off.

      Oct 17, 2011 at 12:25 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Nahhh bang

    I hope it’s not sugar-free candy. That stuff will give you the runs.

    Oct 14, 2011 at 1:41 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   thorobreeder

      LOL I put out sugar-free candy for that particular reason… just to watch the self-proclaimed superhealthy diet-freaks flock to it and take a few pieces. a few times per hour. then I take the toilet paper out of the bathroom. haha good to be queen.

      Oct 15, 2011 at 11:09 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Vickysf

    I put free M&Ms on my desk, and yes, I hear a lot of the “uh, I just want a little treat”, all shamefacedly, like I’m their mother and will scold them. I don’t care. Just eat the damned candy and shut the hell up!

    Oct 21, 2011 at 9:15 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     

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