Guns? Sure. Tortillas? Hell, no.

October 15th, 2011 · 52 comments

Spotted by Tiffany in San Antonio, Texas…

(Not passive-aggressive, just too amusing not to share.)

NO TORTILLAS ALLOWED IN THE THEATRE. EVERYONE WILL BE SUBJECT TO A SECURITY SEARCH.

The not-quite-so-amusing explanation, courtesy of commenter NativeoSanantonio: This is at the Aztec Theater in downtown San Antonio. It’s a live music venue that has a classic country music show. Fans would throw tortillas on stage as a show of appreciation. It was cute at first but quickly got out of control. The performers asked for the “No Tortilla” rule.

related: Professionally done “by Asians”

FILED UNDER: food · not so much passive-aggressive · San Antonio · WTF?


52 responses so far ↓

  • #1   josh

    What about crapes or pancakes or english muffins?

    Oct 15, 2011 at 12:42 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   pony girl

      So sorry. This theatre is a gluten-free zone.

      Oct 15, 2011 at 6:34 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Ara

    haha, at Texas Tech it’s a tradition to throw tortillas on the field at football games so there are VERY strict ant-tortilla policies in Lubbok. (sp?)

    Oct 15, 2011 at 12:43 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Jon

      It’s not even a Texas thing. UC Santa Barbara has a similar tortilla tradition at soccer games.

      Oct 17, 2011 at 3:10 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Conspiracy Theorist

    Just substitute “Mexicans” for “tortillas” and you’ll see what they’re really trying to say!

    Oct 15, 2011 at 12:45 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   pony girl

      San Antonio, is about 65% Hispanic; I doubt they’d stay in business if that were the case.

      Oct 15, 2011 at 6:32 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   jill

      Way to get the joke, lady!

      P.S.-Wrong way to use a comma. Just sayin.

      Oct 15, 2011 at 9:53 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   pony girl

      @jill,

      I got the joke. I was being snarky. This is the place for that you know.

      ps – Thanks for the edit. Wayward commas do distress me so.

      pps- The comma was accidentally left there after I had deleted part of the sentence.

      ppps – There is no such word as sayin.
      The proper spelling is either saying or sayin’.
      Just sayin’.

      Oct 15, 2011 at 10:12 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   Palomon

      Ladies, please.

      Keep it up.

      Oct 15, 2011 at 11:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   Oh Geeee

      Now that’s the right way to use a comma. Oh yeah.

      Oct 16, 2011 at 7:11 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   gladystopia

      Wait, “LADIES keep it up”?

      You’re doing it wrong.

      Oct 16, 2011 at 12:30 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.7   jill

      Yes, I do realize that. Also, “Just sayin” is a sentence fragment. I’m glad we agree on the comma usage though!

      Oct 16, 2011 at 12:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Michelle

    Hey now, the second amendment gives me the right to bear tortillas.

    Oct 15, 2011 at 12:54 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   pony girl

      Kinda gamey, no?

      Oct 15, 2011 at 6:32 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Vox Veritas

    What you all don’t understand is that Tortillas is an old Latino vagabond who’s always heckling the actors. Yes, please, keep him out. Oh, and yes, he is so diminutive that this warrants a security search!

    Oct 15, 2011 at 1:02 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   shwo! bang

    I hope they serve nachos at the concession stand so I can point and shout, “TORTILLAS! TORTILLAS! EXPEL THEM!”

    Oct 15, 2011 at 1:02 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Jennifer

    Is the security search for tortillas?!

    Oct 15, 2011 at 1:21 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   bored@work

    Napoleon: Well, what is there to eat?
    Grandma: Knock it off, Napoleon! Make yourself a dang quesadilla!
    Napoleon: Fine!

    Oct 15, 2011 at 2:11 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Captain Hampton

    Capitalized red font = serious business.

    Oct 15, 2011 at 4:36 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Vox Veritas

      Or a stuck Shift key…

      Oct 15, 2011 at 5:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   pony girl

    Security search?
    So, not only do I need to keep my date’s hands at bay, I need to watch out for the grabby security guard?

    I’ll just stay home, thanks.

    Oct 15, 2011 at 6:35 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   pony girl

    Guns allowed.
    Tortillas not allowed.
    Gotta love Texas!

    Oct 15, 2011 at 6:36 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   nami

      of course, tortillas are more dangerous to people than guns. They have destructive powers… enough to cause indigestion and lots of gas.

      Oct 15, 2011 at 7:06 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   jill

      Oh, but they’re soooo gooood. Especially the homemade ones with lots of lard in them. Mmmmm…

      Oct 15, 2011 at 9:54 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   Canthz_B bang

      Tortillas don’t kill people, what people wrap tortillas around kills people.

      Oct 16, 2011 at 5:48 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Somebody Else

    This is an outrage!

    Surely it cannot be legal to impose such restrictions on the State Snack!

    Oct 15, 2011 at 6:36 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Somebody Else

    Is this the job that guys who aspire to be security guards at the airport do first in order to enhance their resume?

    Can you opt to be scanned instead of pat down? And are the scanners smart enough to allow potato chips and french fries (which are allowed, apparently) to get through without the alarms going off?

    Oct 15, 2011 at 6:45 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   nami

    Hmm sounds like management has been experiencing a shortage of tortillas … why can’t they just make some more? :-P

    Oct 15, 2011 at 7:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Daniel

    6000 chicken fajitas … (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axm__GqW5Mo)

    Oct 15, 2011 at 10:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Sean Jungian

    Obligatory complaint about how the note isn’t passive/aggressive, even though it says it isn’t right there in the intro.

    Obligatory grousing about how this site has gone downhill.

    Oct 15, 2011 at 11:09 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   nosleep3

      Obligatory reminder that this site runs on submissions, not webmaster inventions.

      Obligatory throwing of tortillas at your head.

      Oct 16, 2011 at 8:13 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   gladystopia

    How about if I’m wearing a long coat, and I’ve got one pocket full of masa and another pocket with lard, and a water bottle and a cell phone that doubles as a tortilla press? Does that count as carrying a concealed tortilla?

    Oct 15, 2011 at 11:11 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Adriana

    Thank god I can still bring in pita bread.

    Oct 16, 2011 at 12:56 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   tracy

    What if I disassemble my tortilla so it appears to be harmless unbaked nacho chips?

    Oct 16, 2011 at 5:09 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Oh Geeee

    Is that a rolled tortilla in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

    Oct 16, 2011 at 7:15 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   bored@work

    I know when I eat tortillas that my colon has a security breach.

    That must be one funky smelling theatre.

    Oct 16, 2011 at 3:10 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Geek Goddess bang

    I’m just glad they aren’t going to pat me down for a hidden taco.

    Oct 16, 2011 at 3:45 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Canthz_B bang

      Oh my!

      Oct 16, 2011 at 6:32 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.2   park rose

      Wow, lady ♥ – where’d you pop up from? And pony girl has lost her avatar. Coincidence . . .? [Just, you know, you've both got that equine stream theme.]

      Oct 17, 2011 at 9:40 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.3   pony girl

      I just noticed that. where am I?

      Oct 17, 2011 at 6:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.4   pony girl

      I’m confused.

      Oct 17, 2011 at 6:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.5   Geek Goddess

      Real life, and all that stuff. Latest: my fireplace was condemned this morning.

      Oct 17, 2011 at 10:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.6   Canthz_B bang

      Sorry to hear that, GG. I’ll bet that just burns you up.

      OK, I couldn’t resist, but I hope all works out for you. :-)

      Oct 18, 2011 at 2:22 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.7   park rose

      Oh, I was about to give you a thumb, GG, just for your presence, but then all hell broke lose in the hearth. Sorry to hear about it.

      PG, I see it now. Must have been my computer, the site, I don’t know?

      Oct 18, 2011 at 6:26 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   Canthz_B bang

    No tortillas allowed in the theatre…Yes tortillas are banned from the threatre.

    Figure that one out, Smarty-pants!!

    Oct 16, 2011 at 5:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Canthz_B bang

    Security search? What are they going to use…chiuauas?

    Oct 16, 2011 at 6:22 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Jessica

    That must be a Rocky Horror theatre. Some theatre;s showing the midnight show allow tortilla throwing. Not this one I guess

    Oct 16, 2011 at 8:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Mike Oxlong

    I hope Puffy Tacos are ok?

    Oct 16, 2011 at 8:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   NativeoSanantonio

    This is at the Aztec Theater in downtown San Antonio. It’s a live music venue that has a classic country music show. Fans would throw tortillas on stage as a show of appreciation. It was cute at first but quickly got out of control. The performers asked for the “No Tortilla” rule.

    Oct 16, 2011 at 8:40 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   Old Uncle Toe bang

    I’m glad I don’t live in San Antonio. I can envision myself responding to the anti-tortilla note by flinging a frozen pizza on the stage. I doubt the effort at humor would be appreciated.

    Oct 18, 2011 at 10:34 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   mdesus

    tortillas is also mexican slang for a lesbian, but I have no clue whether that applies here.

    Oct 26, 2011 at 9:35 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Raoul

    Flour or corn?

    Nov 7, 2011 at 4:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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