Writes our submitter: “Last year Zaky changed the date of his birthday on Facebook just to test if anyone actually knew his real birthday. Nobody did, probably because he pulls crappy mind games like this. He did it again this year and it still didn’t work.”
I think Melissa (below) probably said it best: “Whatever, Zaky, as if anyone actually cares when your birthday is?”
related: It’s my pity party and I’ll whine if I want to
67 responses so far ↓
#1
CdnGinger
Time to unfriend this drama-queen douche, Melissa et al.
Oct 23, 2011 at 4:37 pm rating: 90
#2
Quite Contrary
The corollary to this story is a co worker who accepted my friend request and subsequently added other mutual friends from work as friends. Two of us wished her a happy birthday on the designated day. She forwarded me the notification with a huffy email saying that it wasn’t her birthday. I apologized, explaining that fb notified me it was, and thought it was over. Subsequent emails from her stated that she never joined Facebook, doesn’t know why she is receiving these notifications and that she wasn’t fb friends with anyone, all the while still insulted I had gotten her birthday wrong. I defriended her immediately. She is still on Facebook and still friends with the other person who wished her a happy birthday. Icing on the cake? Our mutual friend never received a single rant about her erroneous birthday greeting.
Oct 23, 2011 at 4:59 pm rating: 32
#3
Clare
Since he goes by “Zaky,” I assume he just turned 9?
Oct 23, 2011 at 5:06 pm rating: 78
#4
aaa
Dude, Zaky, I don’t even give a fuck about my own birthday. Why the hell would I care about yours?
Oct 23, 2011 at 5:19 pm rating: 94
#5
babyka
I stopped wishing people a happy birthday years ago. Even if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t be doing it via Facebook, that’s almost as insulting as not knowing someone’s real birth date.
Oct 23, 2011 at 5:36 pm rating: 13
#6
Nunavut Guy
Well Zaky now you know two things about your friends;
1.They neither know nor care when your birthday is.
2.They all know that you are a giant self-absorbed douche bag.
Oct 23, 2011 at 6:18 pm rating: 51
#7
boxes
“Ugh, god, you guys. You’re so insensitive, relying on this service that tracks personal info and updates you all about stuff like birthdays to track my personal info and update you all about stuff like my birthday.”
Oct 23, 2011 at 6:22 pm rating: 51
#8
Harmy G
Facebook isn’t “turning us all into narcissists,” it’s just making it very easy to spot them.
Oct 23, 2011 at 7:44 pm rating: 98
#9
Joy
My favorite part is that the fake birthday is *before* the real birthday. Anyone this worked on will be sure to wish him a HP in two months as well.
Unless his real birthday is actually December 18. WHOA.
Oct 23, 2011 at 7:56 pm rating: 20
#10
Dalamara
I would definitely unfriend a jackoff like this guy. As a matter of fact, a long time friend had a birthday this weekend, and ranted about no one remembering and wishing her a happy birthday. Luckily, two of us called her out on it, and she sheepishly appologized and fixed her FB profile
Oct 23, 2011 at 8:19 pm rating: 3
#11
Lenny!
No worries, eventually little Zaky will correct his birth date on FB (along with other useful personal info) and with a little help from Ms. Karma herself, will get hacked and have his identity stolen. I’m sure after that Mr. Zaky won’t complain about people knowing his exact birthday anymore.
Oct 23, 2011 at 9:26 pm rating: 4
#12
TippingCows
So is this pronounced Zack-ee or Zake-ee? Get a real name, a life, and a clue … Zhakkeigh.
Oct 23, 2011 at 9:57 pm rating: 21
#13
Old Uncle Toe
“an improvement over last year”
Admitting right out front that he plays these little games pretty consistently. I would admire his chutzpa if moreover I didn’t think he was such a gigantic asshat.
Oct 23, 2011 at 11:21 pm rating: 19
#14
AuntyBron
Uh, Zaky, it’s not tampering if you change your own profile.
Oct 23, 2011 at 11:37 pm rating: 23
#15
tina
Zaky isn’t some god awful butchered version of Zachary; it’s an Arabic name.
Oct 24, 2011 at 4:38 am rating: 5
#16
Dave
I had a ‘friend’ who did this exact same thing. Deleted him afterwards. I know a few peoples birthdays off by heart, but if they changed Facebook to show a different date, I’d probably assume I’d got it wrong and use the date that they set. Even if I had it written in a calendar I’d use the Facebook date, because frankly, that’s set by the person who’s birthday it is. I’d assume they were more likely to be right than me.
Apart from my actual family and my boyfriend, I don’t see why I should have any degree of confidence about other peoples birthdays, when they provide contradictory information on a website that only they can edit…
Oct 24, 2011 at 7:08 am rating: 33
#17
unsatisfied
zaky. you put the “douche” in “douche”.
Oct 24, 2011 at 10:27 am rating: 4
#18
Pit Pat
I stopped doing the FB birthday wishing thing a while back b/c it’s so competitive. It seems everyone wants to be first or have the most effusive greeting. And then I took my own birthday off of FB so I wouldn’t be on the receiving end of it. Safer that way anyway.
Oct 24, 2011 at 10:29 am rating: 5
#19
Rhoddy
I never bother with FB birthdays. I don’t make huge stock of dates, but if someone does and I care enough; I’ll send a card, call, or even text them. Much better than an identical greeting on the wall for which you get a half-arsed ‘thanks guys’ status. Props to the three or four people on my facebook who have the common decency to reply to all the birthday wishes which they receive individually.
Furthermore, I know a few people who have inaccurate birthdays on FB, probably relics of the old ‘always lie on the internet’ safety theory days, and I fear exactly this kind of offense.
Zaky though, is in another league. I don’t care if it’s an Arabic name, I prefer to imagine him as a petulant 9-year old ‘Zak-ee’ as others have suggested… I mean – ‘I never said someone wasn’t me, Steph.’ Come on. What a sanctimonious, delinquent turd!
Oct 24, 2011 at 10:51 am rating: 15
#20
DuffPaddy
Longtime lurker here. I’m so glad astrology is a load of old tosh, because this attention-seeking little [redacted] happens to have the same birthday as me.
Oct 24, 2011 at 1:48 pm rating: 5
#21
divaandwriter
I always try to send birthday wishes to Facebook “friends,” but I don’t expect all of them to reciprocate. It’s nice if they do, but perfectly okay if they don’t.
I don’t tend to make a huge fuss about my birthday, although I would probably be very hurt if NOBODY remembered it.
Oct 24, 2011 at 1:56 pm rating: 3
#22
Adriana
Don’t worry, Zaky – no one will be wishing you a happy birthday, real or fake, ever again.
Oct 24, 2011 at 3:39 pm rating: 4
#23
nami
Man, what kind of loser hacker would want to just hack into someone’s profile and just change their birthdays? The hacker should have changed his whole name to Attention Seeking Loser while he was at it.
Oct 24, 2011 at 4:07 pm rating: 7
#24
Charlie
Dear Zaky,
Do you have 430 faux friends listed on Facebook? Do you remember all of their birthdays? Why do you think they should remember yours?
Sincerely,
Reality
Oct 24, 2011 at 4:49 pm rating: 14
#25
infanttyrone
“…26 is less overall…”
No, Zaky, overall, 26 is fewer.
If the 2-year trend continues, maybe in about 12 months your friendly cohort will be down to the size of a football team.
Later, maybe you can fantasize a baseball, hockey, or basketball team.
Finally, after you’ve lost your doubles tennis partner…well, you know…
then it’ll be time for playing with yourself…but you’ll be in fine shape…
after all, clearly you’ve been jerking your friends off for years.
Oct 25, 2011 at 1:48 am rating: 11
#26
Canthz_B
Poor Zacky. 9 out of 26 knew his actual birthday, and even fewer will pay attention to his deathday.
Oct 25, 2011 at 1:58 am rating: 7
#27
Maddy
My friend does this but changes his birthday to be the current day, everyday. Those closest to him know what he’s doing and don’t respond to it, but it is so entertaining to see those random acquaintances who wish him a happy birthday every day.
Oct 25, 2011 at 9:17 am rating: 11
#28
Adrian
He should fake his own death on Facebook and see how many of his friends don’t give a shit about that too.
Oct 25, 2011 at 7:42 pm rating: 10
#29
PermaFrog
Oh how I wish people like this knew they were on sites like P-AN and Lamebook. They kinda deserve to see how messed up they’re being, but then again… I doubt they’d realize it if they haven’t by now. Ugh. Sad conundrum.
Oct 31, 2011 at 11:12 am rating: 2
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