Halloween: smashing children’s dreams, one pumpkin at a time. (Sigh)
(Spotted by Toby in the U.K.)
related: Another four-year-old gets wise to the cruel, cruel world we live in
Halloween: smashing children’s dreams, one pumpkin at a time. (Sigh)
(Spotted by Toby in the U.K.)
related: Another four-year-old gets wise to the cruel, cruel world we live in
FILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · guilt trip · Halloween · U.K. · vandalism · Won't somebody think of the children?
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123 responses so far ↓
#1
Canthz_B
Smashing Pumpkins would be a great name for a rock ba-…oh, never mind.
Oct 29, 2011 at 7:41 pm rating: 90
#2
UnclGhost
Uh, team uncle on this one…
Oct 29, 2011 at 7:41 pm rating: 90
#3
Silence
Hrm. Doesn’t one always assume a risk like this if the veggies are planted in the front? Thievery and vandalism? Doesn’t make it right, but I can’t help thinking that the pumpkin would have been secure in the backyard.
Either that, or make a fence that is more substantial than simply coat hanger wire.
Oct 29, 2011 at 7:43 pm rating: 90
#4
Canthz_B
Must have tossed that pumpkin into a tree.
I usually smash them down.
Oct 29, 2011 at 7:43 pm rating: 90
#5
Canthz_B
Linus is tired of imposters. We all knew he’d snap sooner or later.
Oct 29, 2011 at 7:45 pm rating: 90
#6
lagne
Damn vegans.
Oct 29, 2011 at 7:51 pm rating: 90
#7
MK_Ultra
That’s a lot of commitment and work for a 4 year old. He has every right to be upset. At that point it’s not “just a pumpkin” it’s a project.
Oct 29, 2011 at 8:01 pm rating: 90
#8
Jackie
You guys are jerkoffs. This guy should be pissed.
I think you’ve lost the point of your website: making fun of people for overreacting.
This guy wasn’t overreacting, he was understandably pissed off for his niece who is too little to understand that people suck.
Fuck you and have fun making fun of me for having the balls to tell you that you’re fucking assholes.
Oct 29, 2011 at 8:31 pm rating: 90
#9
built 4 success
So besides the fact it’s so pleasant to have a sit down with the four yr old niece and explaining what a horrible world we live in, what else kept Uncle “we must keep our kids informed” from running to the store to buy a similar replacement pumpkin??? If nothing else to see her smile!
Oct 29, 2011 at 9:10 pm rating: 90
#10
mimsyswallows
Oh, come on – what kind of pillock stamps on vegetables? Is this really rife in the US? Whoever posted this note was right to and I’m on their side.
Oct 29, 2011 at 9:24 pm rating: 90
#11
Jille
I’ve been a faithful reader of PAN for 2 years (2 YEARS!) and I’ve never commented once. But Christ! Someone give Jackie a Valium. This is not the first post lacking passive-aggression. We know what we like and THIS is what we like. (Except “unnecessary quotation marks” is missing from the tags.)
Oct 29, 2011 at 10:50 pm rating: 90
#12
SkinnyBish
This is a wonderful opportunity to remind everyone that there are dogs in animal shelters all over the civilized world who would be happy to gnaw on strangers trespassing on your property to vandalize your vegetables.
*waggle*
Oct 29, 2011 at 10:55 pm rating: 90
#13
Canthz_B
Yet more evidence that the terrorists hate us for our vegetables is a motive grossly underestimated by the authorities.
Oct 29, 2011 at 11:32 pm rating: 90
#14
Palomon
The lamination is a great touch.
Oct 30, 2011 at 12:50 am rating: 90
#15
Palomon
Oh, and the kid is blind.
Oct 30, 2011 at 12:51 am rating: 90
#16
Palomon
And mute.
Oct 30, 2011 at 12:52 am rating: 90
#17
aliceblue
Jackie, point made, chill.
Canthz B – “taking on the world in [a.]…cage-match?” I’m hope that you were attempting to be funny because your posts are more 1o-year- old on the playground than cage match
Now if the two of you can’t be amusing please just STFU.
Oct 30, 2011 at 12:55 am rating: 90
#18
Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff
It used to be quite difficult to get pumpkins in the UK, so we used to carve turnips instead when I was a child. Years later I read that Americans began carving pumpkins at Halloween because they couldn’t get any turnips. True story.
Oct 30, 2011 at 6:46 am rating: 90
#19
RG
Not a certainty but I would be willing to bet the pumpkin was smashed by one of those free roaming cats. They really need to do something about this.
Oct 30, 2011 at 12:18 pm rating: 90
#20
juju_skittles
Gardening can be harsh. I remember my four year old son in the vegie garden with Pop, showing him the giant grasshopper he’d caught with his bug catcher. He was so proud! Pop’s eyes lit up, “Great!”, he said as he took the grasshopper from the bug catcher…then pulled it’s head off! The look on my son’s face was pure horror. Apparently grasshoppers eat vegies. Harsh lesson though. It’s not all pumpkin carving and fun in the vegie patch, people…
Oct 30, 2011 at 8:32 pm rating: 90
#21
Me
I’m not really seeing the “aggressive” on this one.
Oct 30, 2011 at 9:50 pm rating: 90
#22
Byatch
I thought this note read as… surprisingly reasonable and polite, actually.
Oct 31, 2011 at 2:56 am rating: 90
#23
NutellaIshMehName
VIOLENCE AGAINST PUMPKINS
– Australia says NO
‘…but mummy, the pumpkin started it!’
Oct 31, 2011 at 3:44 am rating: 90
#24
Lizzie
Okay, I’m with the note writer on this one. I would be pretty irritated too and might write a note to discourage whoever it was from smashing the last one.
Oct 31, 2011 at 8:29 am rating: 90
#25
Haley
Crazy idea: maybe instead of telling her, “someone smashed YOUR pumpkin! Goodness gracious, people are just terrible!” he could have just bought a similar looking pumpkin and set it in the patch for the final few days until they were ready to carve it. When I was a kid, some teenagers smashed my jack-o-lantern one year. My mom was lucky enough to catch it before I left for school and told me some weird lie about why it wasn’t on the porch, and she bought and carved a new pumpkin before I got home that day. I was none the wiser until she told me the story when I was in my twenties.
And, seriously, smashing pumpkins has been a teenage angst tradition for ages. If you leave your jack-o-lanterns outside, you’re being incredibly naive. Obviously this is a little different, since they took a growing plant directly off the vine specifically for smashing purposes, but my stance on jack-o-lanterns is firm.
Nov 1, 2011 at 7:11 pm rating: 90
#26
Terry
It’s amusing how Canthz has the hypocricy to claim that they can take a joke better than the rest of PAN when he/she (who the hell cares?) obviously can’t and will whine and use passive aggressive smilie faces with the best/worst of them.
Keep it up. I shall continue to eat popcorn and marvel at how ‘hilarious’ and ‘cool’ you think you’re being.
Nov 4, 2011 at 12:37 pm rating: 90
#27
Kali
Thats so sad!! Same reason why I dont believe we can have pumpkins at our house. Its sad to think that you can’t even have a pumpkin on your porch without being afraid of it ending up in pieces on your lawn!!! I hope she got to carve at least one!
Nov 8, 2011 at 12:34 am rating: 90
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