Happy National Sandwich Day!

November 3rd, 2011 · 80 comments

Would you care to furnish the last line of this haiku?

Who stole my sandwich! (Could it be the) SANDWICH THIEF!!

related: Sandwich guilt

extra credit: Lunch Bugs Anti-Theft Sandwich Bags

FILED UNDER: food · London · office fridge · smartass · stealing


80 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Sue

    I’m glad I licked it.

    Nov 3, 2011 at 7:14 pm   rating: 40  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   Allison

    “This is a bit of a pickle.”

    Nov 3, 2011 at 7:15 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Mandy Brigwell

      “The point eludes me.”

      Nov 3, 2011 at 7:37 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Dave

      You fail Haiku

      Nov 4, 2011 at 6:59 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Dave

      (that comment was directed at Allison rather than Mandy)

      Nov 4, 2011 at 7:03 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   sage

    fucking delicious

    Nov 3, 2011 at 7:21 pm   rating: 43  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Canthz_B bang

      ♫ That’s the way, uh, huh, uh, huh, I like it, uh, huh, uh, huh! ♫

      Nov 4, 2011 at 2:43 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   C.C. Almon - my journey as a Christ follower, wife, mamma, & fibromyalgia fighter

    Hope you get e coli!

    Nov 3, 2011 at 7:29 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Dave

      You also fail Haiku.

      Nov 4, 2011 at 7:00 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Rattus

      Wishing intestinal distress upon people is not very christian.

      Nov 4, 2011 at 8:12 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   infanttyrone

      change to “Christ stalker” mebbe ?

      Nov 4, 2011 at 10:21 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   aliceblue

      Oh come on. Doesn’t anyone remember when JC got pissed off in the temple and made everyone eat pulled pork sandwiches?

      Nov 5, 2011 at 12:10 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   Canthz_B bang

      That’s why I stopped shopping at Penney’s.

      Nov 5, 2011 at 12:39 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.6   aliceblue

      Damn, all these years & I never knew that it was a father/son business. Are you sure about not shopping there? I would think that it would be a great place for sandals & robes.

      Nov 5, 2011 at 10:25 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Lessons

    Property is theft :(

    Nov 3, 2011 at 7:31 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Nunavut Guy

      Whose computer are you using?

      Nov 4, 2011 at 5:54 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Palomon

      If you steal it, right?

      Nov 4, 2011 at 10:17 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Mike

    Must have been roast beef.

    Nov 3, 2011 at 7:32 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   FeRD bang

    “RED WORDS STAB AT THEE!!!!!!!!!1!!”

    Nov 3, 2011 at 7:40 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Palomon

    The Hamburglar inspired a lot of copy-cat crimes, y’see.

    Nov 3, 2011 at 7:43 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Canthz_B bang

      Cat-burglars steal Chinese take-out.

      Nov 4, 2011 at 2:40 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   infanttyrone

      Tofu plus veggies
      Code words for an awful truth
      Soy lent green is CATS !!!

      Nov 4, 2011 at 9:41 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Nunavut Guy

    I didn’t steal your sandwich,I borrowed it.I will return it later in a sealed plastic container.

    Nov 3, 2011 at 7:43 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Kim Robson

    “Curse you, hungry ghost!”

    Nov 3, 2011 at 8:17 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Cindy

    MOLD. Prepare to die!

    Nov 3, 2011 at 8:27 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Anon

    Who stole my sandwich?
    SANDWICH THEIF!!
    Choke on it and DIE!

    Nov 3, 2011 at 8:36 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Spooky

      Who Stole My Sandwich?
      Could it be the Sandwich Thief?
      Return, Moistmaker!

      Nov 4, 2011 at 12:27 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   Dave

      Is it the 90s again?

      Nov 4, 2011 at 6:57 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   havingfitz

    The terrorists have won!

    Nov 3, 2011 at 8:40 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   charlotte001

      *Imagines it actually working in George Bush Jr’s accent*

      Nov 7, 2011 at 4:31 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Chinchillazilla

    Why did they write out the question when they clearly already knew the answer? Duh, the Sandwich Thief did it.

    Nov 3, 2011 at 9:29 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   AcceptanceWoman

    Regurgitate it!

    Nov 3, 2011 at 10:10 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Cognitive Dissenter

    “Ex-Lax is a bitch.”

    Nov 3, 2011 at 10:46 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Deb

    That wasn’t mayo.

    Nov 3, 2011 at 11:22 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Simon

    It’s right on the fridge: Hotpoint Summer Treats.

    Nov 3, 2011 at 11:43 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Penultimate

      I clicked on comments just to point this out.

      Nov 4, 2011 at 7:29 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

      Hotpoint Summer-Treats? Of the Derbyshire Summer-Treatses? Yes, I know her. Her and her whole rotten family.

      Nov 5, 2011 at 5:19 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   biscuit

    Does dry erase marker erase from a refrigerator?

    Nov 4, 2011 at 1:35 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   drknight

      More importantly, does dry erase marker erase from a sandwich?

      Nov 4, 2011 at 7:30 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Cbcd

    Eat shit

    Nov 4, 2011 at 2:23 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Nunavut Guy

      Hilarious!How did you come up with that?

      Nov 4, 2011 at 6:51 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Canthz_B bang

    This is a bunch of bologna! A cheesy attempt to gain attention from coworkers.
    Lettuce all try tomato-morrow a theft-free day.

    Nov 4, 2011 at 2:32 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   *snerk*

      Spreading it a bit thick, perhaps? Get to the meat of the matter why don’t you.

      Nov 4, 2011 at 8:36 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   aliceblue

      The writer has a beef with the thief.

      Nov 5, 2011 at 10:30 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.3   The Elf

      Oh, CB! You’re such a ham! This whole comment thread is cheesey.

      Nov 5, 2011 at 3:27 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.4   Canthz_B bang

      I hope you said that with a “rye” smile. ;-)

      Nov 5, 2011 at 3:50 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.5   Canthz_B bang

      Ok, I’ll pita sock in it.

      Nov 5, 2011 at 4:23 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.6   infanttyrone

      I wanted to latch onto the cheese meme here,
      but all I’ve got are these Belgian chocolates. :-(

      Nov 5, 2011 at 4:28 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Canthz_B bang

    “…I want my hoagie!”

    Nov 4, 2011 at 2:33 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

    if I looking for sandwich
    him name hopkin green sandwich.
    I lost my sandwich.

    p.s I’ll find my sandwich.
    Who took my sandwich
    Who found my sandwich

    Nov 4, 2011 at 6:12 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Meg

    Last line is already provided:

    Hotpoint summer treats.

    Nov 4, 2011 at 7:57 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Adriana

    Who stole my sandwich?
    Sandwich thief!!!
    EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Thank you.

    Nov 4, 2011 at 8:23 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   *snerk*

      You win the interwebs today.

      Nov 4, 2011 at 8:37 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   Bart

    Tautologies rule

    Nov 4, 2011 at 8:52 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   Rattus

      Tautologies are indeed awesome, but answering a question with the correct response is not actually a tautology. A tautology would be, say, “who stole my hoagie sandwich?”

      Nov 4, 2011 at 10:30 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.2   infanttyrone

      “hoagie sandwich” is, like “in and of itself”, a tautology in and of itself.

      So, I am sure “who stole my hoagie sandwich?” contains a tautology,
      but whether it is one is one thing I am sure I am not sure about.

      Both are rhetorical tautologies and can be sub-categorized as semantic pleonasms…yours consistent with criteria of a further subset called semantic overlap, mine with those of semantic prolixity.

      Pretty sure Bart meant that he deemed “Could it be the Sandwich Thief?” a logical tautology.

      Not sure if Bart evaluated the question by asking if answering “Yes” to “Could it not be the Sandwich Thief?” could ever be true or even sensible.

      I’m just glad the post-it artist didn’t capitalize the “t”, leaving us with “Could it be The Sandwich Thief?” Whole ‘nother kettle of fish, that.

      Nov 4, 2011 at 12:44 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.3   Rattus

      I should have bracketed “hoagie sandwich”, but I just assumed that anyone who knows what a tautology is would know what I was referring to specifically. Mea culpa.

      Nov 4, 2011 at 1:21 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.4   infanttyrone

      I didn’t know beyond the shadow of a reasonable doubt what you knew or when you knew it, so I avoided implying that I did know and just had some fun with words (with maybe a little background music of “Buffalo gals buffalo Buffalo buffalo”).

      Couldn’t find the BTF sketch I had in mind with “The Sandwich Thief”, but you ‘might possibly’ get a giggle out of this one.
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVQrpok9KPA

      Nov 4, 2011 at 2:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.5   Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

      “Could it be the sandwich thief” isn’t necessarily a logical tautology. Yes, clearly it’s A sandwich thief. But it’s by no means a foregone conclusion that it was THE Sandwich Thief. It might have been the Boston Sandwich Strangler, or the Sandwich Burglar or any of the many sandwich villains out there.

      Nov 5, 2011 at 5:23 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.6   infanttyrone

      Quite so, Doctor….precisely my point in the last 2 lines of #26.2…

      But enjoy my violin as you may, I know now’s no time to fiddle about…
      We’ll give deli-cious chase to The Adversary !
      Moriarity’s in the mustard and mayo !
      The Professor’s in the pastrami and pickles !
      Come, Watson, come ! The game is a foot-long !

      Nov 5, 2011 at 11:36 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.7   Canthz_B bang

      Ty, you sure locked that one down!

      Nov 5, 2011 at 3:25 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   Grant

    Brings a whole new meaning to being mugged in a subway, doesn’t it?

    Nov 4, 2011 at 9:18 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   The 19.4%

    . . . and now the cleaning lady who had to throw away the excess food that got left in the fridge also has to clean lipstick off the door. Way to double up on the asshole, sandwich guy!

    Nov 4, 2011 at 10:15 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   QBALL

    we had one of those once, I corrected the problem and sherlocked the beast by disguising my mayo with horseradish, regular mustard with hot chinese mustard and sliced the jalepenos to look like pickles. It never happened again, but I had to clean the bathroom stall from the severe blow out our sammy thief well she just went quietly into the dark night

    Nov 4, 2011 at 10:23 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   divaandwriter bang

      You win!

      Nov 4, 2011 at 11:24 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Angie

    Exclamation point!

    Nov 4, 2011 at 10:48 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   jphighwater

    Who Stole My Sandwich?
    Could it be the Sandwich Thief?
    Now thief, cough it up!

    Nov 4, 2011 at 12:03 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Barb

    Who Stole My Sandwich?
    Could it be the Sandwich Thief?
    BITE ME, not sandwich

    Nov 4, 2011 at 2:05 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   W.C. Fields-Williams

    This is just to say:

    I have eaten
    the sandwich
    that was in
    the icebox

    and which
    you were probably
    saving
    for after-meeting lunch at your desk

    Forgive me
    it was delicious
    so tuna-salady
    and so cold

    Nov 4, 2011 at 5:44 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   Palomon

      so lunch depends
      upon

      some missing
      deli

      wrapped in wax
      paper

      filled with breast of
      chickens

      Nov 4, 2011 at 10:39 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   lyx bang

    Who stole my sandwich?
    Sandwich thief!!! I spit on all
    future sandwiches.

    Nov 4, 2011 at 8:58 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   makfan

    We have the following Dilbert on our breakroom refrigerator: http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2007-03-18/

    Nov 5, 2011 at 11:16 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   charlotte001

    WHO STOLE MY SANDWICH?
    You have the rye to remain
    soylent, SANDWICH THIEF!!!

    Nov 7, 2011 at 4:42 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   infant tyrone bang

      Beautiful !
      Please post as often as the muse gives you anything half this good.

      Nov 7, 2011 at 6:03 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.2   charlotte001

      WHO STOLE MY SANDWICH?
      SANDWICH THIEF!!! Fiend! Be wary
      of Team Not-Michelle.

      Nov 8, 2011 at 6:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #37   matt

    I hate it when my coworkers steal my food. It happens more then I would like it to. I quit bringing food that has to be kept cold due to this. Only bring like soup or cup-o-noodles. I will say though the last time that I had my sandwich stolen i wasn’t planning on eating it anyways. I spit on it and rubbed the bread all over the ground. Take that!

    Nov 7, 2011 at 9:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   macegr

    WHO STOLE MY SANDWICH?
    (Could it be the) SANDWICH THIEF!!!
    Refrigerator.

    …I feel like everyone already knew this was the intended joke, and I’m being dense by pointing it out.

    Nov 9, 2011 at 2:23 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   Alan

    This is not passive-agressive.

    Nov 10, 2011 at 8:39 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #39.1   charlotte001

      Loophole: “Let’s get this out of the way right now: many of the notes on this site are not passive-aggressive. Many of them are just plain aggressive. If you feel misled by the title of this website, feel free to to instead log on to AggressiveNotes.com.”

      Nov 10, 2011 at 6:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #40   Denise

    Oh look: Free Coffee

    Nov 23, 2011 at 10:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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