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Clap Your Hands Say Nah

November 7th, 2011 · 85 comments

“For the past couple of weeks,” writes Anna in Oakland, “someone in the alley or the building next door to mine has started clapping every day at 8:30 a.m. Just clapping. For at least ten minutes at a time. It’s been driving me crazy, and apparently I’m not the only one.”

Yeah, I can see how that would get old.

Dear neighbor who likes to clap by his open window on the alley early in the morning: Please have some consideration for your neighbors who are still sleeping. Please close your window. Or do your clapping thing in the middle of the day instead of the early morning. Thanks, A neighbor who sleeps later than you.

related: What the hell is going on at this office?

FILED UNDER: neighbors · noise · Oakland · WTF?

85 responses so far ↓

  • #1   pony girl

    Sounds like some weird scientology thing.

    Nov 7, 2011 at 9:49 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Canthz_B bang

      After all of the public education campaigns, you’d think we wouldn’t rationalize away domestic violence in this day and age as merely someone next-door clapping.

      Though I’m sure his wife has some kick-ass sunglasses, she probably wears them because they are her ass-kicked sunglasses.

      Nov 8, 2011 at 12:00 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   Daniel

      She just ran into a door.

      Nov 8, 2011 at 12:59 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #1.3   Canthz_B bang

      Fell down the stairs is good, but I’ve always liked “Tripped and fell on my fist.”

      That one covers much better. LOL

      Nov 8, 2011 at 9:55 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #2   Des

    Maybe it’s a positive energy thing? “If you’re happy and you know it…”?

    Nov 7, 2011 at 9:49 pm   rating: 41  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   pony girl

      What I’ve never understood is that the song says, “…if you’re happy and you know it then your face will surely show it…”

      Then why clap? If my face is clearly showing that I’m happy, why must I aggravate the neighbors?

      Nov 8, 2011 at 11:43 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   Kara

      Well here we say, “…if you’re happy and you know it and you really want to show it…”

      Personally I think that makes more sense.

      Nov 16, 2011 at 4:55 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

  • #3   Sharon Stoned

    I bet it isn’t CLAPPING, but FAPPING!

    Nov 7, 2011 at 9:51 pm   rating: 46  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   The Elf

      If he’s doing that so loudly that it can be heard from the building next door, slow down before you yank it out by the root, dude!

      Maybe he’s a flagellant? I’m not sure what sort of plague he’s trying to atone for in Oakland, though.

      Nov 8, 2011 at 8:19 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   FeRD bang


      At a guess, I’d say… “Oakland”.

      Nov 8, 2011 at 10:08 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #3.3   Jille

      It’s my husband. I’ve sent numerous letters to my attorney to get us before a judge NOW but I don’t think it will happen until I can coordinate the kid(s) to walk in on him.

      Nov 8, 2011 at 10:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #3.4   The Elf

      T’Elf? Ooooh, I always wanted to be a Vulcan.

      Live Long And Prosper, FeRD.

      Nov 9, 2011 at 11:57 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #4   Mishee

    Well, when you live in Oakland, you gotta appreciate anyone who feels there is something to clap about….

    Nov 7, 2011 at 9:54 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Emma

      Oakland is a perfectly nice city.

      Sure, it has some bad neighborhoods, but so does San Francisco and pretty much every big city anywhere.

      Nov 8, 2011 at 3:03 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #5   June Barcarole

    It might be a music major. I had clapping rhythms as my homework for two years of my degree. I tried to be quiet about it but I think my dorm mates thought I was off my rocker…

    Nov 7, 2011 at 9:55 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Mrs.Beasley bang

      Seems as if wearing a pair of gloves while doing your homework would solve the noise pollution issue… like drummers using a rubber practice pad.

      Nov 7, 2011 at 10:07 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   Grant

      They may be recording dubbing tracks for some TV company.

      Nov 8, 2011 at 3:40 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #5.3   FeRD bang

      @Mrs B:

      Sorry, dear, but that “rubber practice pad” was a sex aid. Your drummer friend is a dirty liar!

      Nov 8, 2011 at 10:09 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #5.4   Mrs.Beasley bang

      FeRD, dear, you are just too droll. I doubt that any of my drummer friends ever had the inclination to use a glorified frisbee as a sex aid.

      That said, I have always held that the drummer is invariably the craziest guy in the band…

      Nov 8, 2011 at 10:44 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #6   sonya

    I hope it is somebody having morning sex.

    Nov 7, 2011 at 9:57 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   sonya


      Nov 7, 2011 at 9:57 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #6.2   pony girl

      oh my goodness.
      makes a mental note to close windows first.

      Nov 7, 2011 at 10:03 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #6.3   matt

      It’s bad luck to have sex in this kind of environment. You might catch the clap and that’s nothing to celebrate over.

      Nov 7, 2011 at 10:20 pm   rating: 47  small thumbs up

    • #6.4   infant tyrone bang

      This thread got me to wondering if maybe Oakland has an early morning monster-movie or oldies music show.

      caution: uncensored wildlife video

      Nov 8, 2011 at 12:42 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #6.5   infant tyrone bang

      Maybe drapes/curtains/blinds too…I recall a note some time ago involving ‘private moments of disturb’ or ‘moments of private disturb’.
      It seems neighbors don’t appreciate a free show even at half the price.

      Nov 8, 2011 at 12:58 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #6.6   The Elf

      Every day? At 8:30 am on the dot? For 10 minutes or more at a time?

      Lucky bastards.

      Nov 8, 2011 at 8:21 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #6.7   Palomon

      If it’s during sex, the wouldn’t that mean someone’s getting applauded?

      Nov 8, 2011 at 12:31 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #6.8   Palomon

      ……or is that sound really spanking?

      Nov 8, 2011 at 12:33 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #6.9   Sara

      If only! I’m the one who posted that sign. I was able to track down the source and stop it. It took some sleuthing, but it was someone who was staying at the neighboring church and doing some kind of morning ritual in the sanctuary in the morning that involved clapping. It was very gratifying to call my friend who lives in the church and say “HE’S CLAPPING AGAIN” and have her call his cell phone and then have the silence resume. Small victories.

      If had just been sex, I wouldn’t have cared. It was the early hour + 20 minutes of clapping + out of tune singing that just seemed beyond inhumane.

      Nov 8, 2011 at 2:54 pm   rating: 40  small thumbs up

    • #6.10   The Elf

      I’m dying to know what kind of ritual involves clapping.

      Nov 8, 2011 at 7:33 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #6.11   Palomon

      Sara- couldn’t help notice your reply is “6.9.”

      Nov 8, 2011 at 10:44 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #7   Adriana

    Every time that person claps, you should boo.

    Nov 7, 2011 at 10:01 pm   rating: 50  small thumbs up

  • #8   juju_skittles

    Well, I’d give this note a standing ovation, but…

    Nov 7, 2011 at 10:37 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #9   lool

    Maybe it’s an alarm. He may like waking up to a standing ovation.

    Nov 7, 2011 at 10:49 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   looney

      I thought that… happened to most guys?

      Nov 8, 2011 at 5:00 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #9.2   FeRD bang

      Ah, youth. :?

      Nov 8, 2011 at 10:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #10   James

    I used to live in Southern China, and most old people would do this exercise every morning where they walk along the street clapping in front and behind them.

    Nov 7, 2011 at 10:53 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Dasher

      That’s exactly what I thought! I used to live in Shanghai and every morning the old folk would walk around the park clapping their hands in front and then behind them. Often walking backwards too.

      Nov 7, 2011 at 11:24 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #11   caffeine

    Perhaps that person really *does* believe in alley fairies.

    Nov 7, 2011 at 11:37 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   aliceblue

      And Tinker Bell is getting pretty old now; takes a lot more clapping to keep her alive.

      Nov 8, 2011 at 1:18 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #12   meh

    Early in the day
    darkness enfolds his bedroom
    Turn on the Clapper

    Nov 7, 2011 at 11:44 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   infant tyrone bang

      For ten whole minutes
      Clap On ! Clap Off ! Rinse ! Repeat !

      Nov 8, 2011 at 12:49 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #13   Canthz_B bang

    Maybe they just need to change a light bulb.

    I mean, if The Clapper isn’t working…

    *darn it, jinxed by one minute! :-D

    Nov 7, 2011 at 11:45 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   meh

      I own a Clapper
      Claps must be in the same pitch
      or darkness prevails

      Nov 8, 2011 at 1:35 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #14   Canthz_B bang

    He’s just happy and he knows it.

    Be glad he lives across the alley, the second verse is pure hell if you live below him.

    Nov 7, 2011 at 11:52 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

  • #15   gallifreyseven

    Can you “applaud” a picture for us?

    Nov 8, 2011 at 1:10 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #16   Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

    Because it’s not like there’s other noise at 8:30am. Like, say, traffic, for example. Who is still asleep at 8:30am? Night workers, I can understand. But A) they’re a small minority of people and B) fuck you, serves you right for having such a shitty job.

    Nov 8, 2011 at 4:14 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   The Elf

      I’m going to ignore your night shift jab because you have a point about being the minority. (For the record, it REALLY SUCKS to have a long tiring night shift and then not be able to sleep because one neighbor after another are mowing the lawn, all the way up to the point where you have to go to work again.)

      This guy likes to “sleep in later”, though. He didn’t say anything about being a shift worker. That implies more “unemployment” or “college student”, less “non standard employment hours”.

      So I have to agree – 8:30am is not unreasonably early to make noise. I’m puzzled about the clapping, but whatever. Noise is noise. PAN is out of line.

      Nov 8, 2011 at 8:27 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #16.2   c

      Unnecessary angsty “fuck you” to people who have absolutely no impact on your own life, where a rational – perhaps even witty, god forbid – statement would have sufficed… you must come from Lamebook.

      Nov 8, 2011 at 12:13 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #16.3   Kate

      I’m with you Dr, to an extent.
      8.30 is not early in the morning.
      Many building sites and roadworks start before 9. If you are still sound asleep at 8.30 and you don’t work shifts, then tough luck, the rest of the world is up and about.

      Nov 8, 2011 at 3:48 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #16.4   Erin

      I am usually asleep at 8:30am. I do not work a night shift. I am a massage therapist, and I work at a spa. I don’t start work until 10am most days. Later if I don’t happen to have clients until the afternoon. Furthermore, my two days off are in the middle of the week. So, at 8:30 on a Wednesday, you better believe I’m going to be upset if there is excessive noise interrupting my rest.

      Nov 8, 2011 at 4:10 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #16.5   Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

      c is a night worker. Fact.

      Nov 8, 2011 at 5:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #16.6   kermit

      No offense Dr.Chalk, but a “fuck you” to shift workers was completely unnecessary and out of line. Just why is it necessary to shit on people who work different hours than you do?

      Have you never called tech support or a tow truck outside of business hours? Had to call the fire department or other emergency services to get you out of a jam? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t like it if they responded to your phone call with a “fuck you” either. I don’t really see the point of your vitriol. Just because some people are awake at 8:30AM doesn’t mean it entitles other people to raise a racket any more than it entitles a shift worker to raise a racket at whatever time they get off work.

      Nov 8, 2011 at 10:16 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #16.7   The Elf

      It does and it doesn’t. We can be sympathetic to the shift workers of the world while at the same time acknowledging that they are the minority. And I say this as someone who has done shift work and a wife of a current shift worker! If you banned loud noises whenever anyone at all is asleep, you’d never be able to have any loud noise what so ever. It is reasonable to allow loud noises – lawn mowing, music, even clapping – between the hours when *most* people are awake. For most jurisdictions, that is established at 7am or 8am on weekdays. If there isn’t an actual law about it, 7am or 8am is still pretty typical wake-up and get going to work time. If you are asleep past that point, that’s your problem. I’m sympathetic, but it is still your problem.

      A polite neighbor who knows the shift worker’s hours will make some effort to limit the loudest noises during the shift worker’s sleep hours. but they don’t have to.

      Nov 9, 2011 at 8:07 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #16.8   Doctor Slack

      I agree. This complaint is nuts. The world is awake by 7:30 am anyway, suck it up and leave the poor guy and his clapping alone.

      Nov 9, 2011 at 2:46 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #16.9   kermit

      Elk, my point was not to say that anyone “has” to do anything. Of course nobody short of the police can force anyone to be quiet. My points were:

      1) it’s considerate and neighborly to be respectful of one’s neighbors. If you want to clap at the crack of dawn or have some morning ritual that makes you sound like the Ricola guy with his yack bugle, then either go live in a rural area or make a point of going to a public park instead of subjecting the entire apartment building to your clapping / yodeling or whatever. That stuff is annoying no matter if you’re trying to sleep or if you’re just getting up.

      2) Shift workers are not as much of a minority as some people like to believe. Aside from the fact that stores like Home Depot and McDonald’s are open 24 hours, there are plenty of things functioning 24 hours a day that some people don’t even notice. Do you use electricity, surf the Internet, watch tv outside of standard business hours or order stuff online to be rush delivered to your door?. I bet you and a lot of people do. All of these things require real live people on site to make sure that they run smoothly. It’s not just emergency workers and army people.

      Nov 9, 2011 at 8:36 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #16.10   Human Going

      8:30am is far from the crack of dawn.

      Nov 12, 2011 at 9:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #17   Nunavut Guy

    Hey,thanks for the support.

    The Wolfman

    Nov 8, 2011 at 5:25 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Rattus

      I thumbed ya because I got it and I laughed.

      Nov 8, 2011 at 8:08 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #18   a-arialist

    8.30am is early? Do these people not have jobs to go to?

    Nov 8, 2011 at 6:10 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Luna (the other one)

      We live in a 24 hour world which means some of us don’t get to work 9 to 5. My husband works tech support from 11:00 a.m. – 7:30 p.m. Hand clapping at 8:30 would no doubt disrupt his sleep and annoy him.

      Nov 8, 2011 at 6:17 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #18.2   Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

      Don’t people shower and eat breakfast before going to work any more? Maybe I’m just old fashioned like that.

      Nov 8, 2011 at 5:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #18.3   makfan

      Yeah, but it doesn’t take 2.5 hours for most of us to do that.

      On the other hand, there is kind of a concept of normal hours and quiet hours. 8:30 am M-F is not considered quiet hours in most places. If a construction project starts up near you, they aren’t going to care that you work noon-8:30 pm, unfortunately.

      Nov 8, 2011 at 8:38 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #18.4   Doctor Slack

      “Hand clapping at 8:30 would no doubt disrupt his sleep and annoy him.”

      So what? How is someone else’s hand-clapping or any other decibel production any of his business at 8:30 am? Get some earplugs. What the Hell planet are people living on?

      Nov 9, 2011 at 2:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #19   Iam7of7

    Obviously got a bad dose of the clap.

    Nov 8, 2011 at 6:18 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

  • #20   rvnestor bang

    This reminds me of where I lived last year. The guy who lived behind my building (where my window faced) mowed his lawn at 7:00am every Saturday without fail. I wanted to kill him.

    Nov 8, 2011 at 9:05 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Lil'

      I would have.

      Nov 8, 2011 at 11:52 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #20.2   a-arialist

      Yes, 7am on a Saturday is early. 8.30am on a weekday is not, for the majority of the workforce, and those working weird shifts are going to have to know and accept that and not expect the majority to be creeping around at 8.30am on a Wednesday morning.

      Nov 9, 2011 at 3:31 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #20.3   Laura

      We had a neighbor that lived on the ass-end of our house (literally a step away his yard was) who would mow his lawn three times a week, at a pretty early hour usually (before 9 am).

      I think he had some issues, though, his wife worked and he seemed… off. I heard tale that he had a mental problem and was on assistance. I never held it against him, but my boyfriend at the time was terrified of lawnmowers (lopped off a toe once with one) so it made for an interesting situation.

      Dec 1, 2011 at 10:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #21   unsatisfied

    c’mon, how about a big round of applause for that sign?

    Nov 8, 2011 at 11:59 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #22   Anna

    Maybe he got a new Chinese neighbour? They believe it’s beneficial to your health to clap.

    When I was standing in an hour long queue in China last year the guy behind me was clapping, it drove me crazy!

    Nov 8, 2011 at 12:30 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   SO not p.c....

      Do they rely on clapping for birth control? ‘Cuz that would explain some things…

      Nov 8, 2011 at 2:35 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #22.2   infant tyrone bang

      The following clip is not Monty Python’s TheBishop sketch…

      Nov 8, 2011 at 5:44 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #23   Ethel

    In EVERY community I have lived in, “early morning” is before 7am (per sound restrictions and activities thereof including starting floatplanes) – 8:30am is well within appropriate timing for that sort behavior (even if it is weird). I am wondering if the late sleeper simply is hallucinating from the activities of the night previous?

    Nov 8, 2011 at 3:15 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   makfan

      Oops, I didn’t see this one when I made much the same point.

      There are these little foam things called earplugs if one’s sleeping hours are outside the typical window.

      Nov 8, 2011 at 8:40 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #24   Mia

    Do people really not understand the difference between normal noise that one can expect at 8:30 am and loud clapping for 20 minutes straight? Even with the apparent hate for people who don’t have to get up at 7am every day to get to their job/classes/whatever, you would think that people could understand why clapping randomly would be pretty irritating.

    Nov 9, 2011 at 6:59 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

  • #25   Meredith

    Obviously, the Dr. isn’t an MD or he’d not be saying such ugly things to shift workers. Many MDs work around the clock. So do nurses, EMTs and other personnel to keep people alive and well during the night.

    Nov 9, 2011 at 8:09 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

  • #26   Possum

    I agree with quite a few people on this subject really, 8:30 am is not early morning. I live next to a school and I have a constant stream of screeching kids coming past my window from 8:30 until 9 and again from 3 until 3:30 (which I keep closed because I’m on the ground floor) but I can’t exactly go out and tell them to shut up and fuck off because I don’t have a lecture or work until later on and I’m trying to sleep. I’ve had trouble with neighbours telling us to turn our music down or whatever when it’s not unreasonably loud in the middle of the day because they’re trying to sleep. It’s YOUR choice if you choose to sleep unreasonable hours and if you want to get annoyed then fine, go for it, but you can’t force people to be quiet when they’re perfectly entitled to make noise. There’s noise pollution laws for a reason, if you contacted your local police and said “help me please I’m being kept awake at 8:30 by someone clapping and singing for 10 minutes” I bet they’d tell you to stop being so silly and put some music on.

    Nov 9, 2011 at 6:04 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   kermit

      Possum, the difference is that you chose to live a place that you knew was close to a school. So it was not a surprise to you that children would be yelping outside during recess or early in the morning. Just like if you chose to live above a night club in the downtown core, you already know ahead of time that they’re going to be making noise until 3AM (or whenever closing time is for bars).

      People who live in residential areas aren’t out of line for expecting peace and quiet. It’s not about calling the police, but letting people know that they should try to put a lid on it. And I say this as a person who’s dealing with a neighbor who sounds like a really really loud and whiny Fran Dresher.

      Nov 9, 2011 at 8:46 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #26.2   Possum

      Actually I didn’t go scouting for primary schools before I moved in so I didn’t actually know beforehand. It doesn’t matter if I knew or not anyway, it’d be unreasonable to ask anyone to be quiet just because you want to sleep after a time that most people (school children, people who want to clap to keep themselves happy and set themselves up for the day, anyone) are awake. It’s not like he was in the alley shooting up heroin and crying with the pain of his life for 10 minutes a day. Why not just try and do something in your room to drown the noise out?

      Nov 10, 2011 at 3:48 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #27   SmokeEntity bang

    This actually made me LOL.

    Nov 10, 2011 at 1:17 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #28   Bri.

    Yea. Sounds like Oakland. I live in Oakland, and every Friday when we put our recycling out, there’s a guy who goes through it, and is seemingly having an argument on his headset. Only without the headset. The argument would be completely coherent if there were another participant, but there isn’t.

    Nov 12, 2011 at 7:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #29   Dave

    Maybe they’re just surprised by the greatness of the sun every morning and believe it deserves a round of applause.

    Nov 14, 2011 at 12:39 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #30   Kelly

    I think that people need to lighten up. The poster of the note should close their own window, rather and complaining about noise that their neighbor was making in their own home, and expecting the neighbor to close their window. 8:30 is really not that early, and unless the noise is so loud that it warrants calling the police (ie a raging party or loud music) its really disrespectful to expect others to change their habits in the comfort of their own homes. Set some soft soothing music to play in the morning to help drone out the noise, or SHUT YOUR OWN WINDOW.

    Nov 14, 2011 at 11:59 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #31   Amanda

    Perhaps it’s a music student doing rhythm exercises? That was one of the requirements for my highschool band class. We had ‘rhythm sheets’ that the teacher gave us to practice-sheets full of unusual or difficult rhythms to practice by clapping them out. really annoying and boring. regardless, that neighbor should be shot for being so obnoxious that early in the morning!

    Dec 25, 2011 at 3:05 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up


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