81 responses so far ↓

• #1   landlord

  wait, does she have a live-in landlord? otherwise, what kind of landlord enters the home without permission and leaves notes about the cleanliness of the kitchen?

  Nov 10, 2011 at 1:09 pm   rating: 49  
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  • #1.1   infant tyrone

    “What kind of landlord ?”, you ask…well…

    IF
    Hobbesian: consistent with the thinking of Thomas Hobbes, who characterized human life as “…solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short.”

    AND
    Hubbsian: consistent with the thinking of George C. Hubbs, who wrote “Work…can be made lively&interesting only by injecting yourself into it.”

    THEN
    The question I’m asking myself…
    Was the landlord a Hobbesian or a Hubbsian ?

    My conclusion ?
    “Yes.”

    P.S. Hopefully not construed as the sincerest (or any) form of flattery.

    Nov 10, 2011 at 1:40 pm   rating: 9  
     
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• #2   aloria

  Landlords are typically required to give notice if they’re going to enter your apartment. So, since you knew your landlord was going to be inside your place, would it have killed you to tidy up a bit? I mean, heaven forbid your place gets an ant or roach problem.

  Nov 10, 2011 at 1:11 pm   rating: 3  
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  • #2.1   Rattus

    Is that a genuine “heaven forbid”? I usually see those words attached to something sarcastic.

    Nov 10, 2011 at 2:34 pm   rating: 21  
     

  • #2.2   elangomatt

    I think the laws about landlords entering occupied apartments can vary wildly by state. Last time I looked it up, I couldn’t find any law in IL that said the landlord had to give any kind of advance notice before entering.

    Nov 10, 2011 at 2:42 pm   rating: 2  
     

  • #2.3   Mrs.Beasley

    I’m in Michigan, like crummy Savanna. In our apartment years ago, the landlord went in without notice. My son lives in an apartment in Ann Arbor and his does the same. I think the only advance notice you get in Michigan is a knock on the door, and if you don’t answer they let themselves in.

    Nov 10, 2011 at 4:27 pm   rating: 3  
     

  • #2.4   FeRD

    This is why the first thing I did when I moved in to my apartment was change the locks. I’m pretty sure I was supposed to give my landlord a key. “Oops.”

    Nov 10, 2011 at 5:33 pm   rating: 32  
     

  • #2.5   Mrs.Beasley

    It’s not that big a deal. My son came home from work one day to find a brand new refrigerator in place of his older, but working, model. I guess if you trust your landlord to have ethics, paranoia won’t destroy ya.

    Nov 10, 2011 at 5:57 pm   rating: 2  
     

  • #2.6   Angie

    In Michigan, a landlord is supposed to give you 24 hours notice to enter your apartment, unless it’s some sort of emergency like you left and your toilet is running over all over the apartment below you.

    Nov 10, 2011 at 9:38 pm   rating: 10  
     

  • #2.7   Palomon

    In Soviet Russia, apartment enters you!

    Nov 10, 2011 at 11:23 pm   rating: 37  
     

  • #2.8   Canthz_B

    That’s why the Soviets always seemed butt-hurt over something.

    Nov 11, 2011 at 6:51 am   rating: 14  
     

  • #2.9   infanttyrone

    Never gonna look at one of those Czarist era crystal doorknobs
    http://bit.ly/viX9vr the same way again.

    Or touch one without the benefit of purple nitrile…neeew thank yeeew.

    Nov 11, 2011 at 9:48 pm   rating: 4  
     

  • #2.10   Clumber

    Once when I was living in a cruddy little apt., I had a nasty case of the flu, so was home for the day and feverishly out of it. Suddenly my front door opened and in stepped my landlord. NO notice (as required by law in this state), no warning – not even a knock – , and no emergency. My (at the time) little dog flew at him in a SHELTIE RAGE and bit him several times on his legs and then went for his hands when he tripped in his effort to back-up.

    Good dog. And threatening him with contacting (state agency I can’t recall right now) also enabled my breaking the 6-month lease, whew! Sometimes when I see news stories about landlords setting up cameras in female tenants’ bathrooms etc. I think about him…

    Oh and she was a good dog and not at all rage-ful under other circumstances. It was just that I was sick and she decided she was protecting me. And she was.

    Nov 15, 2011 at 4:27 pm   rating: 10  
     
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• #3   flaps

  I’m assuming that the landlord lives there too. The contributor is, like, renting a room or something.

  But I find her attitude bizarre. “I don’t know where the broom is, so I don’t have to clean up after myself.”

  Nov 10, 2011 at 1:14 pm   rating: 109  
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  • #3.1   Asasaas

    *beep beep* Red lights, bells and whistles should be going off for that landlord. Eject that chick before ending up with weird stains all over the house and chunks of mystery grit worn into the carpets.

    Nov 10, 2011 at 3:20 pm   rating: 34  
     

  • #3.2   bookworm

    Nor should she be expected to look for a broom or *gasp* pick up one for $5 at the grocery store.

    Nov 10, 2011 at 8:55 pm   rating: 12  
     
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• #4   Technically...

  That’s two questions. Also, wow. Creepy landlord. Also, I’m glad I’m not this person’s roommate. Also, Shawn has girly handwriting. That is all.

  Nov 10, 2011 at 1:15 pm   rating: 17  
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  • #4.1   Mrs.Beasley

    I think that’s because with penmanship like that, Shawn undoubtedly IS a girl. As in, if she had the letter “i” in her name it would be dotted with a happy face or a heart.

    Which brings up the matter of whether a female Shawn should be referred to as a “landlord.” Shouldn’t she more accurately be called a “landlady”? Or is she most correctly referred to as a “landperson”?

    Nov 10, 2011 at 4:34 pm   rating: 4  
     

  • #4.2   sunshine

    I actually know more than one female Shawn, so it’s totally possible that Shawn’s girly handwriting is a result of her being a girl.

    Nov 10, 2011 at 11:39 pm   rating: 6  
     

  • #4.3   bookworm

    I’ve known a male Shawn, and he probably had girly handwriting too.

    Nov 11, 2011 at 10:11 pm   rating: 5  
     

  • #4.4   boobs

    There’s no way that is a man’s handwriting. No way. Although the landlord is described as a he (“I don’t think we even have a broom, and if we do I have no idea where he keeps it.”)

    Nov 12, 2011 at 10:55 pm   rating: 0  
     
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• #5   Carey

  So it’s ok to leave trash on the ground because it’s a tiny pile. WTF?

  Nov 10, 2011 at 1:47 pm   rating: 45  
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  • #5.1   Rattus

    Savanna has the same household cleanliness standards that my cats have. They also tend to leave tiny piles of dinner on the kitchen floor and refuse to use a broom.

    Nov 10, 2011 at 2:38 pm   rating: 74  
     

  • #5.2   Smokey

    Ungrateful bastards……mine leaves kicked litter on the carpet and refuses to vaccum! >^..^<

    Nov 10, 2011 at 4:38 pm   rating: 18  
     

  • #5.3   Nunavut Guy

    Would that be an indoor or outdoor cat?

    Nov 10, 2011 at 9:24 pm   rating: 8  
     

  • #5.4   AuntyBron

    I don’t think I want to know what Smokey’s cat leaves outdoors.

    Nov 10, 2011 at 11:58 pm   rating: 2  
     

  • #5.5   Canthz_B

    Pet peeve alert:

    It’s on the “floor” indoors.
    It’s on the “ground” outdoors.
    If there’s an outdoor construction above the earth’s surface (a deck for example), it’s on the floor.
    If it’s a construction on the earth’s surface (a sidewalk for example), it’s on the ground.

    Interestingly, if it’s on a boardwalk which would be outdoors, you could go either way, but I’d probably go with it being on the “deck” of the boardwalk or on the ground in that instance.

    But, if your child drops her ice cream cone in the grass at the park, it’s dropped to the ground, not the floor.

    If your child drops her ice cream cone in your kitchen, odds are it’s fallen to the floor, not to the ground.

    If your daughter drops her drawers outdoors, you’d be floored…and she’d be grounded!!

    Nov 11, 2011 at 6:54 am   rating: 36  
     

  • #5.6   infanttyrone

    Jaw-dropping structure…
    longer than our pal Ceasar’s 3V thing,
    but not a wasted word in the green box.

    Nov 11, 2011 at 1:49 pm   rating: 3  
     

  • #5.7   straightline

    Without a broom, how is it possible that a few tiny scraps of trash formed itself into a pile? The dinner debris on that floor had to be much more disgusting than a mere pile of crumbs.

    Nov 12, 2011 at 10:21 am   rating: 2  
     
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• #6   Lil'

  Savanna, you could just buy a broom. I got one from the dollar store that has lasted at least 6 years. I mean, what would you do if you couldn’t find the toilet paper stash…nevermind.

  Nov 10, 2011 at 1:58 pm   rating: 59  
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  • #6.1   infant tyrone

    Tissue schmissue…
    if she can’t find the Temple of Broom,
    Savanna/Indiana probably can’t find her ass with both hands.

    Nov 10, 2011 at 3:17 pm   rating: 7  
     

  • #6.2   deprogrammed

    Both hands and a map.

    Nov 10, 2011 at 5:45 pm   rating: 7  
     

  • #6.3   infant tyrone

    True…one savory thumb to the cute cat for the improvement.

    Considering what Savanna Montana might do with a map while looking
    for the TP stash brings four words center stage…Team GPS for me.

    Nov 10, 2011 at 7:16 pm   rating: 0  
     

  • #6.4   Geek Goddess

    Or possibly even Team GTPS.

    Nov 13, 2011 at 8:02 pm   rating: 0  
     

  • #6.5   infant tyrone

    Hey, it’s GG & her Gene Kelly icon ! Yay team !

    I’ve been gone too long…probably missed the boat trip to Caracas.

    Message, cool clip & new contact info in the old detention classroom.
    Here’s one special for you in case early Patti Smith isn’t your thing.
    Not a cover…it’s her song http://bit.ly/snh518

    Nov 13, 2011 at 9:37 pm   rating: 0  
     
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• #7   Joe

  So am I to understand the submitter thinks she did no wrong?

  On the landlord thing. I rented a room in a house so I had a landlord, but we occupied the same common living space.

  Nov 10, 2011 at 2:59 pm   rating: 16  
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• #8   Beth

  She could have, I don’t know, maybe used a trash can instead of the floor while cooking. I imagine her standing there just tossing eggshells, empty boxes and whatnot over her shoulder while she cooks.

  Nov 10, 2011 at 3:28 pm   rating: 31  
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• #9   Ellere

  Team landlord on this one.

  Savanna, honey, you don’t live with your parents anymore. No more crumbs left on the counter, no more empty paper toilet roles, no more tracking mud across the living room floor… It’s time for you to grow up and start cleaning up after yourself.

  Nov 10, 2011 at 3:33 pm   rating: 42  
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  • #9.1   Palomon

    Wait, wait, wait- when you start paying the bills, you can leave the lights on and make all the messes you want.
    Team “I Don’t Live Under Your Roof Anymore” AKA: Team” Until I Do Damage That Might Require Using The Cleaning Deposit, You Can Suck It.”

    Nov 10, 2011 at 11:30 pm   rating: 20  
     

  • #9.2   Palomon

    I have to admit this: when Team “UIDDTMRUTCD” lines up against team “60 Day Notice To Quit Does Not Require Any Explanation Why In Most States, Including Michigan” AKA: “Team Landlord,” Vegas oddsmakers will side with the hard nosed defensive play of the property owner.

    Nov 11, 2011 at 1:33 pm   rating: 5  
     

  • #9.3   infanttyrone

    Landlord Teams in Michigan,Minnesota, and Canada so pwn the hapless tenant competition when it comes to curling…
    Vegas doesn’t even post odds anymore.
    2…3…4

    Nov 11, 2011 at 10:01 pm   rating: 2  
     
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• #10   Lou Reads

  I’ve had landlords let themselves in and clean a spot on the floor to remind us to clean it. Its annoying but it happens. This was back in my carefree “gross” college years.

  Nov 10, 2011 at 3:39 pm   rating: 1  
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• #11   Cargirl

  Team landlord here.

  My housemates treat the kitchen counter area as if the manufacturer intended for it to be covered with crumbs 95% of the time. Asking if we can keep it clean or cleaning it myself just goes over their heads. Our sink strainer is disgusting.

  Housemate 1 also asked if we could institute a no shoes policy in the house since her socks get really dirty when she walks around the house in them.. from the crumbs and mess that is not swept up after messing up the counter.

  My PA policy is to wear shoes anyway. When I progress to writing a PA note I’ll put it up here and request treatment:)

  Nov 10, 2011 at 3:43 pm   rating: 18  
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• #12   Des

  The Landlord has handwriting like a girl. Perhaps “Shawn” is a female? In which case the need to sweep up is more apparent. Perhaps female Landlord Shawn is also a resident?
  *edited to remark that even though i did read it the first time, I now realize that HE has not told us where the broom is kept. And he writes like a girl.

  Nov 10, 2011 at 3:44 pm   rating: 2  
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  • #12.1   Mrs.Beasley

    Savanna said, “I don’t think we even have a broom.” So I interpreted the “I have no idea where he keeps it” to be referring to a male co-inhabitant. I mean, who the heck expects the landlord to supply a broom?

    Nov 10, 2011 at 5:47 pm   rating: 10  
     
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• #13   Sharon Stoned

  Can’t she afford to get her own broom and dust pan? I believe you can get one at Walgreens for $5. But, then again, I never sweep either.

  Nov 10, 2011 at 3:46 pm   rating: 4  
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  • #13.1   Mrs.Beasley

    Dollar store for a buck.

    Nov 10, 2011 at 5:48 pm   rating: 2  
     

  • #13.2   Janellionaire

    I once found one left in a cart in the parking lot of the Walmart. Yeah, heck yeah I took that bad boy home. I’m a bad person.

    Nov 14, 2011 at 2:50 am   rating: 2  
     
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• #14   Smokey

  In the bathroom there was also a note:

  If it’s yellow, let it mellow…If it’s brown, flush it down!

  Nov 10, 2011 at 4:43 pm   rating: 5  
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• #15   Dr. Knight

  Here’s a picture of her hungry floor. No wonder.

  http://www.flickr.com/photos/twobigpaws/6013642134/

  Nov 10, 2011 at 7:28 pm   rating: 3  
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  • #15.1   Jimmy James

    Just be careful you don’t wind up like the poor woman from the Star Trek episode:
    http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/File:Van_Mayter_dead.jpg

    Nov 11, 2011 at 9:13 am   rating: 1  
     
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• #16   Amber L.

  Aside from the fact that the landlord left a very unprofessional note to comment on the kitchen cleanliness… I, like others who have commented, mostly find it odd that she uses the fact that she couldn’t find a broom as an excuse to leave the kitchen floor dirty. Goodness gracious, the landlord not furnishing the house with a broom is no excuse to not clean up after yourself! Buy a broom or get down on your hands and knees and clean the floor Cinderella style! Tsk.

  Nov 11, 2011 at 3:44 am   rating: 10  
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• #17   anon

  I’m with the landlady, I also have a lodger who does inexplicable things like take the bag out the hoover and not putting in a new one – or even asking where they are (nice way to kill a hoover!) and taking the rubbish out of the bin, tying it up and leaving it in the middle of the kitchen, then rather that putting a new bag in the bin he decided to find a plastic bag and put that in the middle of the floor and start adding rubbish.

  Nov 11, 2011 at 3:56 am   rating: 5  
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• #18   Who passed out the Haterade?

  Team “I dunno, need more details”.

  If the “landlord” is the person who’s leasing her a room in their house, f’rexample, I’m solidly team landlord. And shame on Savanna for prevaricating about it to make herself look better.

  If the “landlord” isn’t a live-in resident, I’m solidly team Savanna. In that case, the landlord’s behavior is just plain creepy… Savanna’s paying for a place to live, not a wannabe mother-in-law. And if indeed the landlord is a male who feels entitled to peek in on his female tenant without notice, that’s worse than creepy.

  Nov 11, 2011 at 6:09 am   rating: 18  
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• #19   unsatisfied

  Images by Tyrone Greene …

  Dark and lonely on the summer night.
  Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.
  Watchdog barking – Do he bite?
  Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.
  Slip in his window,
  Break his neck!
  Then his house
  I start to wreck!
  Got no reason –
  What the heck!
  Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.
  C-I-L-L …
  My land – lord …

  Nov 11, 2011 at 7:11 am   rating: 10  
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  • #19.1   Pxmidnight

    Oh my HEART!!! I remember that!

    Nov 11, 2011 at 8:04 am   rating: 3  
     

  • #19.2   unsatisfied

    apparently, it’s just you and me so far, Px….back when eddie murphy was funny and not dropping out of hosting the academy awards n’shit.

    Nov 11, 2011 at 12:12 pm   rating: 2  
     

  • #19.3   infanttyrone

    You are not alone
    There are many here among us
    Mirror-keeper, a line for the house !
    Gumby’s buyin’, dammit !

    Nov 11, 2011 at 1:20 pm   rating: 2  
     

  • #19.4   Spooky

    I’m old enough to remember that too (and remember quoting it a LOT), and you made me laugh out loud! God, that was funny stuff!

    Now I’ve got his voice in my head….

    Nov 11, 2011 at 1:28 pm   rating: 1  
     

  • #19.5   jeanann

    You have made my day!

    Nov 14, 2011 at 9:28 am   rating: 1  
     

  • #19.6   jeanann

    I love it so much I want to post it on my facebook, but I’m afraid my actual landlord, unfamiliar with the bit, might take it as a threat.

    Nov 14, 2011 at 1:54 pm   rating: 0  
     
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• #20   Canthz_B

  Landlords don’t enter your apartment without notice.

  Landgods enter your apartment without notice.

  Nov 11, 2011 at 7:23 am   rating: 1  
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  • #20.1   infanttyrone

    Landgod barges in
    Tweaker lessees make Nietzsche
    a Nostradamus.

    Nov 11, 2011 at 2:47 pm   rating: 2  
     
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• #21   Andvari

  One can be team Landlord all one wants, and it is probably the right way to go, but in my eyes (and getting back to the core ethos of the site) a lot of sympathy is lost for him/her/it by addressing the problem in this way.

  And even as far as notes go, it’s a fairly bad one, I mean it doesn’t have the complete PA gamut of smiley faces and false cordiality, as it is fairly direct but the sarcastic question is pretty bad and is not very effective as it is answered. I’m not sure there are any winners here.

  Nov 11, 2011 at 7:49 am   rating: 2  
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• #22   Canthz_B

  Some people are just slobs.

  Some landlords should make a Roomba a standard feature in each unit.

  Some people are just slobs.

  Some people are just slobs.

  Nov 11, 2011 at 7:49 am   rating: 3  
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• #23   Canthz_B

  Never rent to a tenant who works in the TV industry.

  They only work hard during “Sweeps Week”.

  Nov 11, 2011 at 7:52 am   rating: 4  
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• #24   Dr. Knight

  “she sweeps with many-colored brooms
  And leaves the shreds behind…”

  Emily Dickinson

  Nov 11, 2011 at 8:28 am   rating: 7  
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  • #24.1   Rattus

    “I look at the floor and I see it needs sweeping
    Still my guitar gently weeps”

    George Harrison

    Nov 11, 2011 at 8:50 am   rating: 21  
     

  • #24.2   Jimmy James

    It’s been an issue for George since Eleanor Rigby died and hasn’t been around to pick up the rice.

    Nov 11, 2011 at 9:11 am   rating: 9  
     

  • #24.3   Palomon

    That’s not sweeping, it’s only me, with nets of wonder.

    Nov 11, 2011 at 1:34 pm   rating: 2  
     

  • #24.4   infanttyrone

    The local constabulary have kept an open file on the case.
    In 24 hours, the whirlwind romance that swept “Ruby” Rigby from
    “Met him on a Monday and my heart stood still”
    to “Then He Kissed Me” and “Going to the Chapel”
    ended in a tornado of tragedy as hastily assembled mourners,
    many dressed dissonantly in yesterday’s festive finery,
    sang “As Tears Go By” on what was her last “Ruby Tuesday”.

    Naturally, suspicious minds will tend to focus on George,
    the Claus von Bulow T-shirt not exactly helping his cause.
    But after unearthing a bit of new evidence in the case,
    police are taking a hard, cold look at that young Kenny Rogers.

    Nov 11, 2011 at 10:14 pm   rating: 1  
     

  • #24.5   park rose

    @ Rattus – no word play, but very apt:
    Dust my Broom – especially as I always somehow juxtaposed they lyrics to “I believe my rent is due”.

    Earlier versions, circa Robert Johnson ( Mr Carl’s Blues, “I do believe, I do believe I’ll dust my broom. And after I dust my broom, anyone may have my room.” Maybe she doesn’t want to jinx her lodgings by cleaning them, or maybe “Dust my Broom” is just one of those slide-guitar euphemisms.

    Nov 12, 2011 at 1:40 am   rating: 0  
     
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• #25   Susan

  What kind of scraps is she leaving behind? If you don’t have a broom, get down there with a damp napkin and wipe up the mess. Talk about lazy!

  Nov 11, 2011 at 10:35 am   rating: 5  
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  • #25.1   Savanna

    I don’t think we even have napkins, and if we do I have no idea where he keeps them.

    Nov 11, 2011 at 1:38 pm   rating: 26  
     
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• #26   Strawberry Creme

  I’m on team needs more info.

  If the landlord uses the kitchen, then he’s not really a landlord so much as a roommate. If he ate the dinner that she cooked, then HE should be the one cleaning it up. One person cooks, the other person cleans. It’s only fair.

  And if they do share the kitchen and it was just her cooking her own dinner and she left a mess, then SHE should clean it up WITHOUT needing a note.

  If it’s her own apartment, then he really has no business poking around and leaving passive-aggressive notes.

  Nov 11, 2011 at 3:27 pm   rating: 0  
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  • #26.1   pony girl

    I rent out one of my rooms in my house. He is not my roommate; he is my tenant and I am his landlord.

    Roommate implies equality.

    Nov 11, 2011 at 4:13 pm   rating: 13  
     

  • #26.2   infanttyrone

    pg,
    Keeping my mind (as I try to do) on the big picture, a curiosity blooms…
    He rents a separate room…so, does he use a separate broom ?

    As gallant as anti-entropic struggle is, his (broom) seems, finally, a tool.
    Involved as it is with one or more types of transport, yours seems more personal, vehicular, even metaphorical. Drive with care.

    Was going to post a set of his & hers broom clips, but my ISP went down, and when I got back rose had already posted what was going to have been the ‘his’ version (24.6), so there’s just this… http://bit.ly/rWb9Bx

    Any fractured tropes or mangled memes above are probably a result of my testing a new cleaning solution offered by Madame Ruth, Inc.
    It smells suspiciously like jimson-weed-infused Pine Sol, and tastes awful, but it was free when I bought http://bit.ly/vxfC0t

    Nov 12, 2011 at 3:43 am   rating: 1  
     
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• #27   liliboo

  The question I’m asking myself is since when landlords sign off using “love”.

  Especially when it’s to someone that thinks you get to leave food on the floor because you forgot to buy a broom. Gag.

  Nov 11, 2011 at 10:50 pm   rating: 3  
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• #28   Nahhh

  In the absense of a broom, use two stiff pieces of paper, ya slob.

  Nov 13, 2011 at 3:45 am   rating: 3  
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• #29   Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

  This landlord is a dick. Not for leaving the note; he’s a dick because of the massively pretentious way he worded it.

  That’s why I’m on Team Landlord.

  Nov 13, 2011 at 7:25 am   rating: 1  
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• #30   notolaf

  The obvious solution is to get a dog. Then there will never be scraps of food left on the floor.

  Nov 22, 2011 at 10:01 pm   rating: 0  
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