When four people share one bathroom, true equity in toilet-paper purchasing is nearly impossible to come by without conflict.
Just take a look at the opening salvo issued at Laura’s apartment in Georgia:
…and the first response:
Your move, “Scott.”
related: Five approaches to TP maintenance
90 responses so far ↓
#1
infant tyrone
Laura, meet Danny.
of John the Baptist.
Danny, you will play the roll
Laura, you will be The Leader of the Free World when you are 35.
Until then, run for the local school board, renounce evolution,
practice saying ‘job creators’ and promising never to tax them,
and around 2028 or so the world will be your oyster…what’s left of it.
Just remember we’ll always be with you,
because we’ll always be for you,
because otherwise we’d be against you,
and that would make Baby Jesus cry.
P.S. You’ll need a campaign song soon…here’s a modest proposal. http://bit.ly/uiNlQS
Nov 14, 2011 at 1:21 am rating: 90
#2
Anna
Anyone that starts about jesus, “the terrorists” and loving America over toilet paper is not in his right mind.
Just having a conversation on the issue would probably have been more succesful.
Nov 14, 2011 at 3:43 am rating: 90
#3
Grant
Basic “mathz”, yes. Basic English, no.
Nov 14, 2011 at 3:58 am rating: 90
#4
Penultimate
Why is this a note telling toilet paper to buy toilet paper?
Nov 14, 2011 at 4:03 am rating: 90
#5
iseefishtanks
OMG, I just need to know where she finds 24 rolls of Scott for $9.87!! Quick, tell me!!
Nov 14, 2011 at 6:47 am rating: 90
#6
D.C.
“I’ve started using my own toilet paper.”
What a load of shit.
Nov 14, 2011 at 7:31 am rating: 90
#7
Lil'
Don’t bring the terrorists into the TP war. Most of them use their hand.
Nov 14, 2011 at 8:04 am rating: 90
#8
Daniel
What is this “toilet paper” everyone is talking about?
Nov 14, 2011 at 9:25 am rating: 90
#9
unsatisfied
“fuckery” — my new favorite word.
this is especially true when used in the same sentence as “‘twat”.
Nov 14, 2011 at 9:41 am rating: 90
#10
SuperFoose
Isn’t Scott that god-awful thin and scratchy toilet paper?
Nov 14, 2011 at 9:41 am rating: 90
#11
pony girl
At least Erin can find the toilet paper.
Savanna would’ve just left a pile on the floor…
“I don’t think we even have any TP, and if we do I have no idea where he keeps it.”
Nov 14, 2011 at 9:52 am rating: 90
#12
pony girl
White Cloud is a dog name; since when do dogs even use toilet paper?
Nov 14, 2011 at 9:54 am rating: 90
#13
Jimmy James
Buying four rolls is acceptable- maybe this person will buy it three times as often. As a broke-ass college student myself, without a car, I know sometimes it’s not convenient to carry economy-sized quantities of things home from the store if you have a bunch of other items in your grocery bags as well.
Nov 14, 2011 at 9:55 am rating: 90
#14
shwo!
Wow, notewriter needs to cut back her Adderall dosage.
Nov 14, 2011 at 10:01 am rating: 90
#15
Daniel
Has somebody made a “mathz” comment yet? No?
Mathz comment! Mathz comment!
Nov 14, 2011 at 10:16 am rating: 90
#16
Tardis
Either you have the type of share house situation where everyone throws in an amount for things like toilet paper, cleaning products, milk etc, OR you put a mini fridge in your bedroom and put a lock on your bedroom door and be ‘every man for himself’. Choose which, and move on. Writing nasty notes only causes more tension, it never improves a situation – even if it’s written nicely.
Nov 14, 2011 at 10:20 am rating: 90
#17
aaa
It’s times like this that I’m disappointed there isn’t a thumbs down option. But it’s also times like this that I’m glad I have PeerBlock and don’t give traffic to particularly douchey sites that I’m curious about.
Nov 14, 2011 at 11:00 am rating: 90
#18
aaa
And this is why cool kids don’t live with roommates. FUCK YEAH.
Nov 14, 2011 at 11:06 am rating: 90
#19
Rattus
Why isn’t there a “tl;dr” Post-ited to the bottom of that thing? If I lived there, there would be.
Nov 14, 2011 at 11:34 am rating: 90
#20
Charmin Ultra Soft
This PAN is too self aware for my liking. It has so many internet memes and inside jokes stuffed into it that it doesn’t even make sense anymore.
Nov 14, 2011 at 11:51 am rating: 90
#21
Quite Contrary
You are Baby Jesus’ favorite because you buy toilet paper? Wouldn’t Baby Jesus prefer diapers?
Nov 14, 2011 at 12:00 pm rating: 90
#22
makfan
I tried to be fair when I shared a home with other adults. If I came home to a note like this, my head would explode.
Nov 14, 2011 at 12:23 pm rating: 90
#23
Skeeve
The Author of this note could have easily edited this down to one line to get the point across:
IF YOU USE UP ALL THE TOILET PAPER AND DO NOT REPLACE IT, THE TERRORISTS WIN
Nov 14, 2011 at 12:25 pm rating: 90
#24
marie
If my roommate bought Scott toilet paper, I would buy my own and keep it in my bedroom too!
Nov 14, 2011 at 12:58 pm rating: 90
#25
Dr. Knight
I’m calling for an investigation…let’s get to the bottom of all this and then wipe the slate clean.
Nov 14, 2011 at 12:59 pm rating: 90
#26
Michelle
She needs to take that $9.87 and use it to buy her mental meds. If I were her suitemate I’d ask which fucking personality wrote that because there are at least 4 screaming out at me.
Nov 14, 2011 at 2:50 pm rating: 90
#27
python
when I was in college, I sometimes joined some friends in starting weekends early by drinking on Thursday. A group member had a roommate who complained about excessive paper use, so the next week a few of us snagged a carton of, like, 144 rolls from campus and brought it over. We stashed rolls in every drawer, cabinet, and cupboard we could find. As we loaded the car, another student happened by. Him: “Hey, did you get a new computer?” Fellow larcenous drinker: “Yeah, it’s a TP9000.”
Nov 14, 2011 at 3:09 pm rating: 90
#28
disturbed
if I had a roommate who did toilet-sitting self-portraits and snuggled affectionately with TP rolls, I would lock myself in my bedroom.
Nov 14, 2011 at 3:11 pm rating: 90
#29
wipedout
I am not the type to leave a passive aggressive note, but I can relate a little bit to the writer of the note. I had a room mate who rarely bought toilet paper, even though we shared a bathroom. She would even go into my room to get the toilet paper if I didn’t restock the bathroom. Unfortunately, it wasn’t just toilet paper with her…laundry detergent, bleach, and when she moved out she took some kitchen stuff I had just bought. It’s not a big deal when you can afford to replace it, but I was a broke college student too.
Nov 14, 2011 at 3:33 pm rating: 90
#30
Sevaede
This is kind of ridiculous.
Nov 14, 2011 at 3:53 pm rating: 90
#31
Kim
My thoughts:
1. I like Scott toilet paper, it lasts longer, doesn’t leave lint and I use the Cottonelle flushable wipes for #2 (I will never go back to using regular TP for that, ever).
2. $9.87 is an insanely cheap price for 24 rolls.
3. Not everyone buys insane amounts of TP at one time. 4 rolls is a completely normal quantity of TP to buy at one time.
4. The note-writer needs to calm down.
5. Love the drawing of the girl on the bowl hugging the roll.
Nov 14, 2011 at 4:15 pm rating: 90
#32
aliceblue
1. What type of nut job spends that much time counting TP rolls? I get being annoyed if everyone is expecting you to do all the purchasing, but all the adding and subtracting of rolls? Don’t get out much do we?
2. Are any of the roommates guys? Because then she’ll have to figure how much less they use due to biological differences and factor it into her inane equations.
Nov 14, 2011 at 4:46 pm rating: 90
#33
Spidarous
Terrorists are usually from middle eastern countries and a good deal of them wipe their ass with their hand in their country. They are not the best TP reference.
Signed,
Two tours in Afghanistan.
Nov 14, 2011 at 7:01 pm rating: 90
#34
Michelle
In my opinion, it isn’t the number of rolls that matter…it is the ply, number of sheets and square feet!
Scotts tissue is one ply.
White Cloud has a three ply brand.
24 rolls of Scott = 8 rolls of White Cloud.
It’s simple math.
:-/
So, it is quite possible that the roomies 1 roll is equivalent to one roll of Scotts.
Nov 14, 2011 at 7:28 pm rating: 90
#35
SkinnyBish
Is NOBODY else concerned that they seem to have gone through 12+ rolls of TP in less than two weeks? A 4-pack of White Cloud takes care of my two-person household for at least that long, and that’s factoring in one or two nights of “foods you’ll regret eating later.”
Nov 14, 2011 at 8:59 pm rating: 90
#36
nick17
See, now I can’t decide whether to click on it or not.
Nov 14, 2011 at 9:13 pm rating: 90
#37
nick17
Lame. I clicked. Isn’t there a “report spam” button here somewhere???
Nov 14, 2011 at 9:43 pm rating: 90
#38
kermit
I wonder what commode related problem bidet-owning people argue over, if not toilet paper.
Nov 14, 2011 at 10:02 pm rating: 90
#39
Palomon
Sounds like “John Wayne” toilet paper: rough and tough and don’t take shit offa nobody.
Nov 15, 2011 at 1:06 am rating: 90
#40
charlotte001
Man, I think Erin and the TP are BFF’s with benefits….they look seriously in love.
Nov 15, 2011 at 4:59 pm rating: 90
#41
Alex
how do you go through 12 rolls in a week! even with 3-4 people in a house I don’t. Also 9.87 for 24 rolls is terrible.
Nov 17, 2011 at 2:26 pm rating: 90
#42
zhangss
http://50。gd/1k
Nov 19, 2011 at 7:17 pm rating: 90
#43
Laura
My favorite part is when the note writer says ” ‘twat is this fuckery?”
Yeah, someone had a certain word on their mind.
Dec 1, 2011 at 10:17 pm rating: 90
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