Joe in Berkeley doesn’t know who this note was intended for, but it showed up on his porch sometime after Thanksgiving dinner.
![Mr. Cranky - While I understand that dog[s] shit on your lawn frequently...don't EVER come at me, my girlfriend, or Dog in such an ignorant, aggressive and childish fashion. You are not the dog-shit sheriff of Berkeley. If you ever speak to me in that manner again I will be sure to send a pack of Huskies who've recently eaten pounds of broccoli and chill to shit all over your lawn. If you see me again on the street an apology might make you feel like a BIG responsible boy. Otherwise, don't speak to me, Brroo, Your Neighbor](http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6052/6402484737_36ff9de11f_b.jpg "Mr. Cranky - While I understand that dog[s] shit on your lawn frequently...don't EVER come at me, my girlfriend, or Dog in such an ignorant, aggressive and childish fashion. You are not the dog-shit sheriff of Berkeley. If you ever speak to me in that manner again I will be sure to send a pack of Huskies who've recently eaten pounds of broccoli and chill to shit all over your lawn. If you see me again on the street an apology might make you feel like a BIG responsible boy. Otherwise, don't speak to me, Brroo, Your Neighbor")
related: The Pooper Stooper
The Dog Shit Sheriff of Berkeley
November 28th, 2011 · 88 comments
FILED UNDER: dogs · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · shit
88 responses so far ↓
#1
Wilma Jo
That’s a real threat there – a pack of Huskies that have eaten chili and broccoli? Good Lord….
Nov 28, 2011 at 2:46 pm rating: 20
#2
Nunavut Guy
I really thought that this was going to come to an”or I’ll kick your ass” ending.
Nov 28, 2011 at 2:47 pm rating: 5
#3
Nunavut Guy
I wonder if those were indoor or outdoor dogs?
Nov 28, 2011 at 2:49 pm rating: 0
#4
Astounder
To which language does “Brroo” belong?
Nov 28, 2011 at 2:49 pm rating: 37
#5
S.A.
“Brroo” LMAO. Yeah, I can see this dumbass sparking fear into anyone’s heart.
*eye roll*
Nov 28, 2011 at 2:49 pm rating: 11
#6
Amber
Brroo? Even Google doesn’t know what that is! And it sounds like someone might have a legit complaint if you are feeding your dog broccoli and chili. Why? Because you know it causes terrible… um… dumping problems and that knowledge can only be obtained one way. Oh, and if it’s his yard, it’s his castle. So he might not be the sheriff, but he is the king. Just be grateful he didn’t have you drawn and quartered.
Nov 28, 2011 at 2:54 pm rating: 28
#7
Leonna
come at me, brroo!
Nov 28, 2011 at 2:54 pm rating: 34
#8
Kim
I hate Dog Shit Sheriffs. I used to live in Astoria, Queens and got that shit all the time. I’d be walking my dog, by the CURB not on people’s lawns and old ladies and men would yell at me from their windows or come running out. It was virtually always old people. I get that there are irresponsible people out there, I see the dog shit on the ground too but don’t yell at me, I’m curbing my dog and I ALWAYS pick it up.
Nov 28, 2011 at 3:04 pm rating: 23
#9
FeRD
I know who the note’s intended for, it says right at the start! It’s for Mr. Cranky. (Last name Pants.)
Nov 28, 2011 at 3:07 pm rating: 11
#10
Rattus
The Dog Shit Sheriff of Berkeley? Isn’t that an HBO show?
Nov 28, 2011 at 3:14 pm rating: 31
#11
AiXeLsyD13
I love when people clearly in the wrong try to rationalize.
Nov 28, 2011 at 3:19 pm rating: 46
#12
infant tyrone
What with software tycoons and all, I thought the Univ. of Washington athletic department alumni contributions were doing well.
Now varsity squads have to hire out as transport muscle (muscularis externa) to safeguard vigilante victims as far South as the SF Bay Area ?
Well, at least when the inevitable topical Law & Order episode dealing with these incidents shows up on your tube, the detectives recycling the
phrase “dump job” will be re-purposing it too.
Nov 28, 2011 at 3:28 pm rating: 3
#13
Steve
Aren’t Berkeley people supposed to be smart or something?
Nov 28, 2011 at 3:40 pm rating: 4
#14
shwo!
I shit the sheriff,
But I did not dump the deputy…
Oh, come on, someone had to do it.
Nov 28, 2011 at 4:14 pm rating: 68
#15
Baroo?
The “brroo” or “baroo” only makes sense if you replace “Dog” with “Human”.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=baroo
Nov 28, 2011 at 4:34 pm rating: 1
#16
ClearlyDemented
I think what happened here is the notes got mixed up. This note-receiver’s wife had yelled at him for picking her flowers and was meant to receive a similarly crafted note threatening to send cats with pruning sheers over. I think everyone who writes all their threatening notes on the same day of the week has run into this problem at least once. Amiright or amiright?
Nov 28, 2011 at 4:41 pm rating: 4
#17
Dusa
It sounds like this person doesn’t pick up their own dog shit in which I’d have to say fffff fuck you dude, pick up your dogs stinky ass shit you irresponsible and uncaring dog owner.
Nov 28, 2011 at 4:53 pm rating: 30
#18
Nunavut Guy
Man,when the dog whisperer gets pissed,he really gets pissed.
Nov 28, 2011 at 7:01 pm rating: 6
#19
qua
Dear Neighbor
I got two words for you and its not Merry Xmas
Mr Cranky
Nov 28, 2011 at 7:26 pm rating: 4
#20
K
The really petty part of me thinks this guy needs my toddler’s potty emptied on his lawn. Not that I would ever do such a thing, but I would really want to.
Nov 28, 2011 at 8:02 pm rating: 2
#21
mer
Why didn’t he say all that when he was face to face with Mr. Cranky?
Nov 28, 2011 at 8:58 pm rating: 14
#22
chrys
Does the note writer have split personalities? It looks like the note is in at least 2 different handwritings.
Nov 28, 2011 at 8:59 pm rating: 2
#23
Silence
♫♪ I shit the sheriff, but I did not shit the deputy…woo woo woooooo! I shit the sheriff, but I swear it was in self defense! ♪♫
Nov 28, 2011 at 11:54 pm rating: 4
#24
Canthz_B
Yeah, next time you scold me for letting my dog crap on your lawn you’re going to feel my wrath.
This time you’ll feel the force of my angry letter.
“Don’t make me angry, you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.” only works if you’ve been exposed to gamma rays.
Nov 29, 2011 at 1:06 am rating: 10
#25
A
No evidence the note writer lets his dog shit everywhere. He may have been wrongfully accused by the sheriff.
That being said, his response in the way of that letter is shitty. He should have had the balls to settle his beef with the neighbour face to face, man to man. To write such a letter does not seem manly to me.
What a tit.
Nov 29, 2011 at 1:31 am rating: 2
#26
Grant
Brroo. Wasn’t he one of Robin Hood’s Merry Men?
Nov 29, 2011 at 4:42 am rating: 1
#27
The Elf
I’m going to start signing all my letters “The Dog Shit Sherriff of Berkeley”.
Nov 29, 2011 at 6:26 am rating: 4
#28
park rose
Nov 29, 2011 at 6:34 am rating: 0
#29
bookworm
What a big tough guy, writing a strongly-worded letter in defense of his imaginary girlfriend, all because he’s too lazy to take five seconds and pick up his own dog’s crap.
Nov 29, 2011 at 8:41 am rating: 16
#30
bookworm
What a big tough guy, writing a strongly-worded letter in defense of his imaginary girlfriend, all because he’s too lazy to take five seconds and pick up his own dog’s crap.
Nov 29, 2011 at 8:41 am rating: 1
#31
Chiclet
I hope Joe finds this guy and lets him know that his aggression is misplaced. I’d hate to have the broccoli/chili poop lawn when it wasn’t even my fault.
Nov 29, 2011 at 11:55 am rating: 1
#32
Red Beans
If I see your dog pooping in my yard again, throwing the crap at you may might make me feel like a Big Responsible Boy.
Mr Cranky
Nov 29, 2011 at 1:08 pm rating: 11
#33
maria
that is one long ass piece of paper.
Nov 29, 2011 at 4:51 pm rating: 2
#34
Nick
Heeyy brroo, leemmmeee aloonnee aboouut myy doogg’s shiitt.
Nov 29, 2011 at 5:22 pm rating: 2
#35
Suzq
Well, it takes a strong person who can be confronted, go home and then pen such a letter. Where were the balls to say any of this DURING the initial confrontation? And then leaving the note, rather than knocking on the door? Broo indeed, tough guy.
Nov 29, 2011 at 5:27 pm rating: 0
#36
Friday
Clearly the dog to go on the chilli and broccoli binge would be a Saint Bernard, ever see how fast they eat? How much bigger than a baggie one would need to pick that load up? Think coal shovel and appliance plastic. Or perhaps a Great Pyrenees….6 coal shovels to one, 6 coal shovels worth to the other.
(p.s. I grew up with St. B’s, I speak the trooth (sic) brroooo)
Nov 29, 2011 at 7:54 pm rating: 0
#37
Kieron
“Otherwise, don’t speak tome.”
Tome is the newest discovery in languages, I take it?
Nov 29, 2011 at 8:11 pm rating: 2
#38
redheadwglasses
I think the note writer is guilty of not picking up his dog’s poop, because he doesn’t *deny* doing anything wrong in his note.
Dec 1, 2011 at 12:48 pm rating: 1
#39
algor
BBQ sauce mixed with Xylitol-sweetened syrup poured on the craps will take care of the problem.
Dec 16, 2011 at 4:46 pm rating: 0
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